I am in my weird friends cabin in the woods. I haven’t seen him in a few years because he lives up here all year round and it’s impossible for me to put myself through the kind of abuse being alone in a field does to my mental stability. Every sound in outside I expect to be some crazed murderer or my friend who has been away from people for so long, looming over my cot with an axe only to be never found or reported missing because my remains were fed to the raccoons or some shit.

He does have an internet connection, because when you’re alone in the woods, you clearly need shit to jerk off to and you need a way to stay connected to other people, otherwise you go crazy, like he did when he first moved up here from the city after he went on some hippie kick and found the land we’re standing on for cheap and convenient for his whole being at one with nature bull shit that involved being alone with a drum and a lot of weed where he’d build rock gardens and ponds, and cut trees down all while talking to himself. I remember coming up here when he was first building the cabin and having him look at me with some psycho bright eyes asking if I want to go cut down trees with him, there was really nothing else to do so I went along, drink in hand and dude took out an axe and pointed to one of the trees he called Charlie and gave me an elaborate story about why Charlie has to die, and how Charlie slept with his wife, and went at the tree like a madman screaming out “DIE CHARLIE YOU COCKSUCKER”. It was a weird experience that may not come across as funny, but whatever, that’s where I am, smoking a cigar with the chipmunks, lookin over a lake, all without photoshop, so while I try to figure things out, here’s some pregnancy videos to carry you through the next few hours….

There will be posts, there will be stepLINKS, I got nothing better to do and I’ve had enough of this cocksucker, so get ready for the best damn labor day of your life, while all the other people in North America are out on the beach, fucking sluts and partying with friends, you are on the fuckin’ computer. Loser.

To celebrate that new beginning that is not being allowed to wear white, here are some random shitty pregnancy videos for you, of bitches in labor or on their way to labor. Just because it’s not a fetish to me, doesn’t mean it’s not a fetish for you….

BONUS – THIS ONE IS FUCKING SICK….
GO

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I find it funny watching Hilary Duff do her best to hide from the paparazzi and uses her drink to cover as much of her face as she can. It reminds me of the time my wife tried to hide on me one night when I had too much to drink and was in the mood to take my rage out on her. She ran into the kitchen and hid behind the fridge, only she didn’t really think it through because her ass was stickin’ out because she is fat and because our apartment is pretty fuckin’ small and there’s really little options when it comes to hiding. So she ended up running outside as fast as her legs could support the weight of her and hid behind a mailbox, not realizing she was fatter than the mailbox and I could pretty much see half of her. It was one of those lap dogs barking insanely because it thinks it’s a big dog situation and not just because my wife is a dog. By the time I got to her I was laughing too hard to really bother scaring her some more, and we went back upstairs, her out of breath, me happy I got a good laugh, holdin hands and that’s probably one of the more romantic moments we’ve shared.

Either way, here’s Hilary Duff trying to fool us.

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