I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

31

Jul

Amy Winhouse’s Cat Likes Crack of the Day

This picture of Amy Winhouse’s cat and MTV Award sitting next to her crackpipe came out the other day and I thought it was a great opportunity for you to write an LOLCat to the shit but I am not very good with cutesy funny talk and can’t pull this shit off, all I came up with was:

“Iz Smokin’ Crackz Becuz Daddy Uzed To Pet Me Naughtyz and Nowz Iz Letz You Dos It for Moneyz Cuz Baby Needz Anudder Fix”

I assume if any other sites know what’s up, they’ve already done this and I am just 12 steps behind, but it happens. I guess what also happens is that finding a crackpipe in Amy Winehouse’s house and shit doesn’t really phase us anymore, we all know she’s going to die and at least she’s living life to the fullest by getting fucked up every chance she gets….something other crackheads can’t really do unless they’re turnin’ lots of tricks and livin’ on the streets. So Instead of lookin’ down on her for throwing her life away, we should embrace her for being the best and most successful crackhead out there.

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Cat|Crack

2008

31

Jul

Amanda Bynes Wears Spandex Shorts of the Day

I’ve had a thing for Amanda Bynes ever since I was forced to watch She’s the Man 30 times with my stepdaughter and her friends a couple years ago. That’s when I learned that when you watch a young teenage girl dressed like a boy long enough, bitch starts to look hot. It became a bit of an obsession of mine at the time, where I could only get off to a chick if she was in some baggy ass clothes, a soccer uniform, or had her hair tucked into her hat. It was pretty much the gayest my fantasies have ever gone, except for the time I gangbanged a chick with my homeboy and are balls rubbed right as I was cumming, I struggled with figuring out if his balls made me cum or if the slut we were banging made me cum and I was forced to drop him as a friend because I didn’t want my OCD to make me take him for a ride to find out.

Posted in:Amanda Bynes|Spandex Shorts

2008

31

Jul

Criss Angel Performs His Most Dangerous Lie of the Day

The video was removed so I posted this shitty one instead…

I hate Criss Angel, maybe because magic is for creepy perverts who are trying to figure out the best way to be around kids as much as they can, or maybe it’s the fact that he dresses like every fucking chachi I hate in line at lame clubs, only this motherfucker is 40 years old or maybe it’s because I have seen some of his stupid tricks and they are all lies, and pretty fucking obvious lies and I don’t like being lied to, especially when it’s by a girl I’m about to fuck without a condom who says she’s clean an on the pill, when she’s not…not that ever happens, but has and it sucked.

This video is the whole “Dangerous” stunt of him trying to escape an imploding building, it was supposed to be live because they say it’s live and dude got “caught” inside and went down with the building making everyone think he died. It was pretty exciting and happy times and just as I was ready to move on to hating other molesting magicians, like this asshole who lives down the street from me, the asshole mind fucked me and walked out of the rubble only to disappoint a lot of haters.

It’s pretty likely that the struggle we all saw was pre-recorded as he took the elevator down to safety, to have a cocktail, do his hair and get made-up, get fucked up the ass like a greek that he is and he is unfortunately still around to mind fuck idiots everywhere again. It is pretty fucking disappointed. Watch the clip.

Posted in:Building Imploding|Criss Angel

2008

31

Jul

stepLINKS of the Day

I used to have a fan. She used to email me telling me how life changing my shit was on the daily. She’d offer me blowjobs and sex and money to support my drinking and I’d always blow it off. I ended up advising her to get out of a boring relationship with a fat guy and next thing I know she’s sluttin out, having orgies and suckin’ dick for money, always sending me the scoop.

Today she emailed me telling me that my site doesn’t do it for her, that I’ve sold out and all this other shit basically saying she’s over it and that I suck. I haven’t figured out how I’ve sold out because I am still poor, but maybe she’s right and the site is a piece of shit, I don’t think I’ve every claimed it to be anything other than shit, and haven’t really done anything to change what I do, but it will never be as shitty as whatever the fuck STD she lands now that shit is said and done fucking any cock willin’ in hopes of finding self worth she never she had and probably never will have. Welcome to the club.

If your wondering why I wrote this, it’s because it’s the only email I got today, not even the Hitler shit got me love and nothing happened when I got drunk earlier, so here are my links….

I Can’t Speak For You, But Internet Sluts Are Pretty Much The Only Reason For Me to Keep On The Computer…
GO

Amy Winehouse Has her Period
GO

Some Asian Slut in Daisy Dukes
GO

Here’s Some Winehouse Photos From Before She Became Absolutley Disgusting
GO

Mini Driver Gets Her Dildo On
GO

Getting Hit in the Nuts Should Really Be an Olympic Sport
GO

Remember Mr.Belding From Saved By the Bell? He’s a Fuckin’ Pimp…
GO

Some Cosmos Chick Showin’ Cleavage Titty Bounce During the Earthquake
GO

Tori Spellin’ Brings Her Man Face Out to Play
GO

10 Funniest Moments in Olympic History
GO

The Best HollyWood Hookers!
GO

Throwback Pics of Gisele Pickin’ Her Ass in a BIkini
GO

Aria Giovanni has big pillows For tits
GO

Sexy Human Tetris
GO

I Can Never Have Enough Vida Guerra
GO

Girl Launched into Air Over Lake – VIDEO
GO

The Best Porn On The Net, and You Know I Am Right, Because I Am a Perv
GO

The Federales Will Shut You Down!!!
GO

Sexy Jana Plays Britney Spears Crotch Flash
GO

HOT Lesbian Threesome
GO

Find Girls to Fuck and Stop Lying to Gramma About Ho You Have a Girlfriend
GO

Cute Megan Takes It Off
GO

Religious Nuts Are Some of the Stupidest People on Earth and Here is Proof
GO

Dina Lohan is a Drunken Mess
GO

Aubrey O’Day Gets Her Slut On at Some Event or Another
GO

If Jordan Puts Her Name On One More Product……I am Going to Have to Start Buying her Shit….
GO

Best Amateur Babe I’ve Seen in the Last Little While
GO

Hot Blonde Teen Gallery
GO

Beach Fight is a Fail, But Amusing Nonetheless
GO

Use This To Get Sex, Because Virgins Are the Saddest People on Earth
GO

Photobooth Upskirt
GO

Signs From Round the World
GO

Kate Hudsom is a Whore Just Like Her Mother
GO

The World’s Dumbest Criminal
GO

Jo Champa Wears a See Through Dress Because She is Desperate and Needs Attention
GO

Veronika Fasterovas Wants to Show You Her Bedroom
GO

Now THIS is a Bike I Would Ride
GO

Remember DJ Tanner from Full House?
GO

I am 100% That Batman Circa Adam West Was a Homo
GO

Zsuzsana Ripli is the International Babe of the Day
GO

The Most Fun Takes Place Behind the Scenes
GO

Make a Cell Phone Detonator
GO

Bejay’s Popsicles are the Best Out There….
GO

X-Tina is Photoshopped Hard for Macys
GO

Nicolette Sheridan Plays With Balls
GO

Rogue Collector’s Photobucket Finds….

Some Naked Chick Plays With Her Sloppy Tits and Pussy Video
GO

A Naked Black Chick and Her Tits
GO

Some Miami Pussy
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

30

Jul

Britney Spears Riding Horses of the Day

The funny thing about seeing Britney riding a horse in Cabo has nothing to do with beastiality, but more with her finally knowing what every guy that fucked her in the fat, depressed, unwashed years felt like, if anything the only difference about the Horse and Britney at her worst is that when the horse pisses and shits itself, it doesn’t make a mess of the bed sheets.

These pictures reminded me of something that happened yesterday. I was sitting on the stoop minding my own business and some chick rides up to me on a bike. She tells me that she forgot her lock and needs someone to watch her shit. I told her that I would be sitting there for a while, because I have nothing better to do, but I am not someone she should trust, because if the offer comes up I will sell it for drug money. She left it with me anyway and I thought of all the different ways I could get back at her for giving me this repsonsibility. I could give it away or put a sign on it that says “take me”, I could hide it, or I could take the air out of the tires to just be a dick. Instead I convinced my pervert friend who I was with to sniff the seat when she came to get the bike, just to make her feel awkward about the whole thing so he did it and I laughed.

Posted in:Britney Spears|Horses

2008

30

Jul

Whoopi Goldberg’s Erotic Moment of the Day

Some people like porn to get off, other people need to get off doing werider things like parking their cars outside of the park, some lonely people may like phone sex and girls tend to like lay in bed at night before bed with all their erotic fantasies rolling through their head to get off, but I need The View to get me going….the reason is simple, that goddess Whoopi Goldberg is on it and she always brings the sex. She is open, honest and confident about her sexuality which is amazing considering no one else in the world is comfortable with her sexuality. We never quite know what we are looking at or whether she is a she and not a he and if she is a she than does she get down with other girls or does she get down with dudes and with every day she spends on The View, the more we get a glimpse into her magical panties.

Today she tells the world that in her lifetime she’s had 50 cocks, that probably sounds worse than it is. Because to conservative America, you know people who like to look down on other girls who like to have fun by havingsex with a bunch of people, because they were too busy getting married to their high school sweetheart only to pop the cherry on their wedding night, because they are traditional like that and believe that’s how God wants it, only to live a miserable repressed life with an abusive husband who fucks hookers every chance he gets because he committed to this boring, fat woman who dreams about sex with her favorite soap stars because she never expected shit to get as bad as it did, but the truth is that I know girls who are 19 and have had more partners in a week than Whoopi has had in a lifetime.

That doesn’t really take away how fuckin sexy it is to think about Whoopi’s thick hair, dry hands and purple tongue running up and down each and every one of those cocks, only to slowly take off her jeans and sneakers to let them in her magical place that is a mystery to the rest of the world. Those 50 men are like the first people to explore the North Pole, or the first people to the moon, because her genitals are one of the world’s great mysteries.

NOTE: I don’t have the video because the Networks are all suing the company that used to send me the video because they don’t like that people are monetizing on their shit, even if it’s just writing about a segment that we saw on TV or something funny that happened on their network that they pollute our homes with. It’s like we can watch the shit, talk about the shit, but we can’t share the shit or ABC, FOX, NBC, CBS get mad and sue with their deep pockets, pockets made deep because of us, the same people they are suing…cocksuckers.

RELATED POSTS:
Whoopi Goldberg’s 1st Erotic Moment
Whoopi Goldberg’s 2nd Erotic Moment
Whoopi Goldberg’s 3rd Erotic Moment
Whoopi Goldberg’s 4th Erotic Moment
Whoopi Goldberg’s 5th Erotic Moment

Posted in:Erotic Moment|Whoopi Goldberg

2008

30

Jul

Marisa Miller is Greasy in a Bikini of the Day

I don’t have a thing for greasy girls who sweat. Sure there was a time when there was nothing more that I wanted than to have hot sweaty sex in the middle of the summer with a tight bodied blonde bikini model, but I am older now and I am more into girls who shower and look clean. It’s probably got to do with having an obese wife who always sweats and it’s come to the point where the list of top 5 things she does on the daily are eating, sweating, sleeping, sitting, shitting and making a fuckin mess in the process that’s lead to bugs in the shit hole apartment, something we’ve avoided up until now. So there’s really nothing inspiring about any of those things except to other fat people who see it as encouragment to not finish that extra large pizza for fear of dying and missing out on those 5 amazing things that got them in this mess in the first place.

The truth is that her greasy skin glisten wouldn’t be so vile, if it didn’t smell like feces, but it does, so seeing Marisa Miller, someone I am not even that in to, greased up makes me think of my wife eating french fries and a burger and breaking a sweat from the strain it’s putting on her heart as the juices drip down her cleavage and that doesn’t turn me on but it probably turns you on because you love cleavage.

Either way, here’s Marisa Miller greased up like a fat chick. I feel like I’ve already posted these pics.

Posted in:Greasy|Marisa Miller

2008

30

Jul

Carmen Electra is the Grandma Stripper of the Day

In my worldly travels to the local strip club, I once met a 65 year old strippers with massive tits who was still working the pole. Her shit was pretty boring, her ass was flabby and her flexibility was barely there, but she had hot old lady tits that I knew had seen so many hands and mouths that I just had to have a run with her. I decided to take her into the booth and grab her tits and do what you do, maybe because I don’t have a grandmother or maybe it was just because I wanted to see how a seasoned veteran performs. It turned out to be a fuckin’ disaster. She couldn’t get into any hot positions because her body wouldn’t let her and she she was too busy struggling to get her clothes off for me to get hard for those ridiculous tits only menopause could make and the whole thing reminded me of a fuckin’ old timers softball/hockey/basketball game where these old pros come out to play with everyday people and end up suckin’ harder than the everyday people suck because they are tired and sore. I guess the highlight of the whole thing was when her incontinence lead her to squirting piss on my legs after squatting over me, I didn’t get mad because bladder control’s totally overrated anyway…..

Point is that I predict a similar future for Carmen Electra, but at least she’s doing her best flaunting what she’s still got….

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

30

Jul

Adriana Lima Poses with Bras of the Day

Adriana was kidnapped from her tribe in Brazil by Victoria’s Secret who have people recruiting models from all parts of the world and by recruiting I mean kidnapping, which is pretty smart considering tribes don’t have phones or internet to contact the outside world and file a missing person’s report.

I was told that her deal is going to spend as much time with the brand as she can before she gets old, battered and they send her back to where she’s from. I guess it’s a good trade off, because she gets to travel the world, live in luxury and have guys everywhere masturbate to her and that’s a whole lot more appealing than dancing around a fire eating bananas, even if shit’s not forever it’ll make for exciting stories for the tribe’s people when she comes back in a few years with her grass skirt and coconut top on, that Victoria’s Secret has put aside for her so that it looks like she never left but I predict that she sneaks in one of her bras for them to worship as some kind of icon sent from above.

Either way, here she is doing what she was kidnapped to do and that’s promote everything and anything Victoria’s Secret.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

30

Jul

Heidi Range Rocks a Bikini of the Day



Some average at best popstar from the band Sugarbabes in the UK was out in a bikini and was shameless pullin’ a Lohan by having her best friend undo her bikini top because it’s just so fuckin’ hard to reach it herself, then pulled a Miley by taking slutty pictures of each other posing in a pool for the boy she is seeing and it all went over pretty well with me, because I come from the school that all girls are into pussy and all girls and their best friends moderately dyke out and are in love with each other, I’m talking gentle touching and kissing and showering together, and checking out and comparing their naked bodies with each other but never fully embracing the double sided dildo and lesbianism, but still doing things that make their boyfriends’ masturbation fantasies more believable.. I don’t say that because it’s a fantasy, I say it cuz it’s the truth.

Speakin of fantasies, I decided to go to the rich part of town to see what rich girls look like in person. I walked into the coffee shop where they all hang out and this dude who I see in my neighborhood begging for change was sitting at a table reading Wall Street Journal and sipping expensive italian coffee. I was fuckin’ mad that I’ve been throwing quarters his way the last 4 years, thinking he was more hurting than me, and in all honesty was doing it for selfish reasons, like it made me feel good that someone was worse off than me and throwing money at him, even though it wasn’t much was probably the same feeling a rich person gets when they buy a Bentley with cash. So I go up to him and call the fucker out and it turns out motherfucker’s just a con artist from a rich family who panhandles for entertainment purposes and really lives in a big house and drives a nice car and it made me feel like a fuckin’ asshole, but the good news is that he gave me 20 dollars for always hookin’ him up and asked me to keep things on the downlow and I am really that inexpensive to win over…..

Here’s this Heidi bitch and her bikini.

Posted in:Bikini|Heidi Range