DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Sara Sampaio Shows Off her Pussy in Tight Pants Under the Guise that it is a Fitness Video of the Day

Industry Flesh Puppet Jessica Alba Propagandizes for the Machine of the Day

Sydney Sweeney is Glamour’s Woman of the Year of the Day

Paige Spiranac Feeling Herself Up of the Day

Margaret Qualley is Hot for an Ugly Chick of the Day

2008

Aug

I am – Not Posting the Selena Gomez Bikini Pictures of the Day

22 Comments »

There are pictures of Selena Gomez running around in her bikini that I am not going to be posting today because I saw them and instantly thought pedophile. She looks 12 and I got no business or interest catering to you sick fucks who get off to this shit. I talk about teenager girls, teenage pregnancy and hanging out with teenage girls, but they are all 18 for the most part and the ones who aren’t have bodies that would make you think they are. Maybe it’s growth hormones in the food, or maybe it’s just their big, perky tits, but I meet them all in bars and they aren’t weird tools of corporations used to seduce other teenage girls and family men who society consider wholesome family people but are just jerking off to the memories of their 14 year old daughter’s friends at last week’s pool party, because 14 year olds wear bikinis now and when I was 14 it was one-piece all the fuckin’ way, and because their youth brings back memories of everything they missed out on and ideas of a tight fertile pussy instead of the tired old catcher’s mitt they married…..

Either way, Selena Gomez is having sex with Miley Cyrus’ Jonas brother and they are at teenage girl war, all while pretending to be little virgins waiting to be married, which is the biggest joke on Disney, because we all know your fucking lie and we all know it’s just a strategy to make a truckload of money and I am tired of the lies, I find it undermining to today’s youth when who deserve the truth so they media influence is at least an honest one instead of this brainwashing fantasy shit that is fucking with the normal cycle of experimenting by turning girls prude, so that teenage dudes who want to get their first blowjob, get their first blowjob instead of getting rejection that could lead them into some kind of 40 year old virgin comic book/porn addicts who end up shooting up their school before shooting themselves, fucking up adolescents and in turn ruining the world.

Disney has a responsibility to be honest and deal with issues in an honest way, instead of denouncing teenage sex they should celebrate it in the public as much as they do as the producers cum in these girl’s faces behind closed doors. They should not throw the slutty behavior in the trash like it was one of the girls abortions and should just be straight up about the fact that they make girls grew up too fast and pretend they are ideal Christians while they have an abortion clinic on set and they should just treat these girls they are trying to make into idols like the whores that they are, the kind that you wouldn’t even talk to if you went to school with them because of the stench of cum and fetus dripping down their leg is gross, instead of waiting the 10 years it is going to take for them to fall apart, before they release the tell all book they wrote in rehab.

Point of all this is to say that I am already a target and blamed for perpetuating this shit. I am considered a rapist, pervert, pedophile, porn peddler with a Not Safe For Work Site. I can’t make money, get into events or cross the border with what I do and I am not going to get myself in more trouble or go to jail by getting on some pedophile list for pictures I don’t even think are hot.

The good news is that there are plenty other sites out there who disguise themselves as Safe For Work and make 200,000 dollars a month on stolen names posting it for you….and she looks fucking young in the pictures so the fact that you even wanna see this shit is messed up to me and this is coming from someone who has sex with 16 year olds.

Anyway, I am not posting the shit, but I will link to them GO

Posted in:Bikini|Selena Gomez

2008

Aug

stepLINKS of the Day

9 Comments »

I got this email today:

a lot of sites have been blacklisting people coming in from your site as of late.

That is because no one takes me seriously, it’s not the first time this has happened in my life and probably won’t be the last. This is an illegitimate operation and people hate you for reading it as much as they hate me for writing it. The 3 of us should all move into a 2 bedroom apartment and make babies with random whores in efforts to take over the world with our own race. I’m just throwin’ ideas out there and here are my links.

Hot Big Breasted Girl Dressed Like a Slutty Cop Showing Off Her Ass in Some Wack Viral Video I don’t Understand
GO

Some Old WHore Who Looks Like Shauna Sand’s Mother Rockin’ Some Old Whore Panty Flash
GO

Valentina Vaughn is Delicious
GO

Maybe the 2008 Olympics Isn’t So Bad Afterall
GO

Zoo Beach Babes
GO

More From the Retarded Policeman
GO

Behind the Scene Fighting in Felon
GO

The Hottest Politician Mistress Skanks
GO

The 10 Best Pole Dance Falls
GO

The 10 Best Times Cunt Was Dropped on TV
GO

Carrie Underwood Hates Jessica Simpson and Fucks Her Boyfriend Whenever She Can Because She Had Him First…
GO

Isaac Hayes is Dead; So Here is a South Park Tribute
GO

Watch This Tori Spelling Singing Video Because It’s More Offensive Than Anything I Write Here
GO

…Faye Valentine’s cameltoe:
GO

Some Chinese Dude Got Stuck Fucking a Tight Slut of a Park Bench
GO

10 Hottest Female Olypians…..
GO

Watch Some Young Pussy Cry
GO

Mellissa Haro is Your Monday Fantasy
GO

Javier Barham is Better Than All Of Us On So Many Levels
GO

Scarlett Johansson and Her Tits Are Looking For a New House
GO

Madonna Claims to Have Twisted Her Ankle, I Think She Broke Her Old Lady Hip
GO

Find The Best Porn Reviews on the Internet According to Me
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There’s a MILF War Going On Outside, No One is Safe From
GO

Amazing One Armed Guitar Player
GO

Free Hugs in a World of Hate Video
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Cheapest Shot Ever Taken
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Krystal Forscutt Gallery
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Idiot Tosses M500 Grenade at Parked Car
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Awesome!
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Eva Angelina – Video
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Church Rave Makes Church Going Gayer Than It Already Is
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Sunny Leone Outdoor Striptease
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I Think Jenna Jameson is the One Who Should Have Been Spayed
GO

The Wonka – ReMix
GO

Tara Reid Isn’t Even Good Enough for Reality TV. Jesus
GO

Any OG Batman Clips Are A-OK By Me
GO

White Boys Rap is Always Good for a Laugh
GO

Julianne Moore Is Pretty Smokin
GO

Jodi and Julita Will Make You Feel Funny in Your Pants
GO

Make Infared Goggles!
GO

Skateboard Knockout
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity For Most People Who Aren’t You….
GO

Amateur Hotties in Knee High Boots
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The Ronson’s Pretend They Aren’t a Bunch of Rich Kids in a Stupid Photoshoot Where Sam Looks Hot….
GO

Harold Seems Like the Kind of Film You’ll Identify With – TRAILER
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Badminton is My Favorite Sport – Watch The Skill
GO

BONUS – WEIRD FETISH VIDEO OF THE DAY

Some Pissing Lesbians For You
GO

George Bush Rocks the Beach Volleyball Sluts Like the Pimp He Is
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BONUS – DRUNKENSTEPFATHER SONG OF THE DAY

Locksley wrote a song caled All Over Again
GO

Some Vegas Slut’s Got Some Money in Her Panties
GO

Web Sluts Nuff Said
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

Aug

Melissa Theuriau is Topless and Pregnant of the Day

10 Comments »

YouTube Star and French Reporter Melissa Theuriau is topless and pregnant in some magazine paparazzi shots. Being topless is nothing abnormal in France, but pregnancy is, because french people like to fuck, but their idea of birth control is taking the load in their asses, true story, I know French people and they don’t believe in contraception because of the whole Catholic thing, but do believe in internal cum shots right in their ass lips….

The last time I saw a topless pregnant chick was at the stripclub, it was the same time I decided pregnancy was a beautiful thing, you know that whole circle of life shit where you get to see a woman doing what she’s really meant to do all while being a modern girl with self worth by doin’ it while in the work force establishing her career, it’s like Sex and the City before they all hit menopause, only the getting naked for perverts with money who like grabbing pregnant lady tits version.

I am only posting this shit, despite being boring and shitty quality, because her Youtube Videos get millions of views and I figure you’re one of the people who has seen them…repeatedly….you obsessive weirdo

Here are the Top 2 Theuriau Videos….

Melissa Theuriau Boring Me in a Compilation Video….

Melissa Theuriau Boring Me in 2006…

Posted in:Melissa Theuriau|Pregnant|Topless

2008

Aug

Cindy Margolis Has Big Old Tits of the Day

6 Comments »

Cindy Margolis claims to be the most downloaded girl on the internet, because she was one of the first sluts not get naked and use the internet to promote herself and I just don’t believe that there is much truth to her claims, but she does have big tits so I could be wrong.

I met a pretty ridiculously downloaded girl the other day and I had trouble making eye contact with her because her upper body was that of an anorexic and her hips, ass and legs were so fuckin’ big that when she bent over I thought I was lookin’ at my wife. She was obese from the waist down and normal from the waist up and it looked like some kind of mythical creature I didn’t want to fuck. I was telling people around me that she had bad genes, but not the Levis kind, because whatever pants she had on had to be magical to fit that insanely disgustingly big ass. It was a funnier play on words when I said it, but since I hate that kind of humor, I’ll end my story about the downloaded girl I met here….

But I will tell you a story about being the biggest creep on the internet, almost officially. Sure I am not a sexual predator or anything, but with my 12 readers, I like to think I’ve made progress in sexualization of women and making them feel like pieces of meat. I even carried it over into my everyday life the other day when I was sitting down for a coffee and unintentionally chose the seat facing two hot teenage girls in low cut shirts, despite there being about 50 open places in the coffee shop that didn’t face the girls. It’s kinda the same situation as when a fag walks up next to you in the public bathroom and pees next to you, when there are 8 other urinals available. Anyway, as I was staring at their teenage tits, they got all uncomfortable and left before I had a chance to expose myself to them. It was a real disappointment, Oprah told me teenagers are sluts, but the truth is they are just cock teases like they always have been.

Speaking of cockteases, here’s Cindy Margolis, a woman who made her career by cock teasing guys into registering to her site in hopes she would get naked…and who never did get naked, until she was the least downloaded girl on the internet and had to Get Naked In Playboy to make an attempt at a comeback despite it being long past her expiry date……Either way, Look at her tits.

Posted in:Big|Cindy Margolis|old|Tits

2008

Aug

Paris Hilton’s Got Her Push Up Bra On of the Day

5 Comments »

I hate Paris Hilton, not only because she’s rich and tricked the world into caring about her up until recently, or because she’s a good business person and understands marketing or making money, or because she’s trashy and fucks on camera because most of the girls I love are trashy and fuck on camera, but because she’s just one of those people who annoys the fuck out of me and rubs me the wrong fuckin’ way. I figure the rest of the world feels the same way, because she’s hardly relevant anymore, her Good Charlotte sister, who will be in Montreal on Thursday and who I plan on egging on video, has a tight leash on her crazed vagina but unfortunately, whenever I see her pumpin’ up her barely there tits using a push up bra because she’s not into implants, I feel the need to post the shit.

I have a girl on my Facebook who has a profile that is pretty much identical to the real Paris Hilton’s profile, she included an AIM account on it and I decided to message her because I figured there was a chance it was her and I was pretty bored. After about 5 minutes of chatting with this bitch, I realized that she was nothing more than a 15 year old high school girl trying to be funny, mainly because she was smart enough to formulate a sentence, and because she knew less about Paris Hilton than I did, which doesn’t say a lot for me and was not a very proud moment.

I figured that since this bitch pretends to be Paris Hilton, despite being a teenage Filipino, I should ask why she tries to trick us into thinking she’s got bigger tits than she does, since I find it offensive, false marketing and it brings back memories of bringing home sluts with hot tits when I was younger, only to have been dooped and stuck with some A-Cups to play with.

This was her response as Paris Hilton…

because I am a whore

So since she’s the Internet Paris Hilton, I figure that statement is pretty much truth, unlike the lie that is in her push-up bra.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Push Up Bra

2008

Aug

Hayden Panettiere is a Tank With Weird Cleavage of the Day

12 Comments »

There’s really nothing more that I can say about Hayden Panettiere because I’ve already said it all. I’ve compared her to a moving van and the men who move, to construction equipment, to football players, to midget wrestlers, to a bus, to a fridge and I the entire time, I never found her hot, or understood why people do.

She’s stumpy, she’s muscular, she doesn’t have a hot ass, or even a pretty face or tits and she’s more of a freakshow than something I want to get up inside. But after watching the Olympics in hopes of seeing some hot Athlete ass, I realized that I was wrong in saying she was training to be a weightlifter, or one of the Mascots for some obscure country where juggling midget gypsies are part of their heritage, but she is more like a Gymnast who’s been on growth hormones all her life making her look like a triangular, wide shouldered tank the size of a 10 year old that knows how to flip and do the splits, and I know realize that sport was Hayden’s calling before getting all caught up in this Hollywood shit….

On a side note, Hayden’s Dad was arrested for punching her mom and since Spousal abuse is encouraged here, especially if your wife produces shitty offspring for you, I decided to link the story….
GO

Either way, here she is performing at some Net Flix event lookin’ like a dominatrix…..

And here she is showin’ off her pecs the next day….

And here are some pictures to honor Hayden’s build and failed dreams of being an Olympic Gymnast, while giving you and your midget/ pedophile dreams something to jerk off to, with some pics of some Team USA Gymnastics Shit….

Alicia Sacramone

Natasia Liukin

Shawn Johnson

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|Tank

2008

Aug

Britney Spears Has a See Through Shirt On With a Bra of the Day

6 Comments »

I was convinced that something was in the air on Saturday night that made everyone fucking crazy. I am not sure what it was, but maybe I was wasted and having some kind of psychological / paranoid episode where I just thought everyone around me was acting weird, like the time I did mushrooms and ended up trying to take a nap in the middle of a highway before my friend with me saved my life about 30 seconds before I would have got run the fuck over, or the time I did bad E and it put kicked me in the ass and made me sit in the corner of the all nice dance party I was at, scared of everyone who came by because they had skeleton faces and I thought they were trying to rape my soul. I figured it was a full moon or something, but turned out that it wasn’t and when I was out, I saw a bouncer get smashed in the head with a beer bottle by a kid who weighed about 140 pounds and who was quickly taken outside and beaten the fuck up, I saw kids on the street kicking the fuck out of BMW X5 and trying to throw punches at the driver before the driver threw his drink all over them, pulled a U-turn and ran over their feet, I saw the dude I invited home with me in his underwear because he had lost his pants before realizing that I didn’t want a dude in his underwear to be the only motherfucker at my hot tub party and a dude I know had a gun pulled on him because he went home with some guy’s girlfriend and the guy found out, but by far the strangest event that went down on Saturday was that Britney Spears put on a bra under her see through shirt so that no one could see her dumpy, aimin’ to the ground, mom nipples….

Posted in:Bra|Britney Spears|See Through

2008

Aug

Kate Bosworth Bikini Pictures of the Day

9 Comments »

[ Images removed in compliance with DMCA Notice ]

Kate Bosworth is pretty skinny for an American and should be given more credit for it, instead of abuse for being an anorexic. This is the kind of thinspiration all you fat fucks need so that you stop eating. Now, I don’t find her all that hot to look at and I never did because she pretty much has no sex appeal, but it’s nicer to look at than the shit I’ve seen sitting by the pool on my trips to the USA.

Now, I don’t travel all that much, or ever for that matter but I got a call on Sunday morning from this 18 year old girl who doesn’t have her driver’s license and who wanted to go to Vermont for the afternoon to shop and she needed a driver. Now, I don’t know why she called me to take her because I barely know her and I could have raped and killed her for all she knew, but since I had nothing better to do, I decided to go for the road trip. I showed up at her house, only to find that I’d be driving her dad’s BMW across the border and got nervous knowing that I am a Mexican with a sketchy past, that I was driving an expensive car despite being unemployed, that I was with an 18 year old girl who was 20 years younger than me and most importantly that I was only driving into Burlington for about 3 hours before turning around and coming back, but went anyway, because we all need adventure in our lives….

For the first hour, I kept telling the girl my concern about the border and that Americans will not like this whole situation and she kept telling me to tell the Border dude we were going to a confirmation or wedding and when I got to the border I felt like I was going to get arrested, I hate authority and I hate being in these situations and I panicked. I pulled up to the wicket window and these tough guy who though he was in the Iraq war and liked his power position and used it to intimidate my already nervous self asked me why I was going to the USA. I told him that I had dinner plans and instead of ending it there, decided to add “with friends” to make it more believable despite the smart side of my brain telling me not to. Now, the terminator found driving to the States to have dinner with friends a little strange, especially coming from a Mexican with an 18 year old in a BMW and as I was beating myself up for saying that I was meeting friends, he decided to ask me what my friend’s names were. I froze. I didn’t have an answer and I just stared at him blankly, while he got more and more aggressive, and started asking me about my job, why the car had damage on it, how much I make a month and then he got out and searched the fuckin’ car, asked me to pull over and brought me inside to search me. They asked me what my site was, there was no way in hell I was telling them that it was DrunkenStepfather because I feel like some of the shit I do on here is illegal and ended up spending 2 hours at the border before they agreed to let me in after jumpin through all the hoops and leading them to believe that I am not a drug dealer or terrorist, which I am not.

I guess the point of this story is really that there is no point, but once in Burlington, I walked into a store that was selling 12 packs of M&Ms for $2 and all kinds of other disgusting junk food that would make my wife cum more than I ever have, which in all honesty isn’t that hard because I was never one for worrying about making my woman cum and more into making myself cum. I also saw some fat bitches who made my wife look skinny sitting by an above ground pool at some trailer park campground and I felt like I was in heaven, a miserable heaven but heaven nonetheless.

Either way, here’s Bosworth in her bikini….

UPDATE – I forgot to mention that there was chicken breast, a bottle of wine and a box of sex toys in the car to make the whole border experience even more awkward than me hearing myself tell the border guard that I was meeting up with friends like an idiot. Not that you care, but since this is a blog I want to make sure I keep my diary in order so that when I look back on it in 20 years, to remind myself why I should never be a criminal, I’ll have all my facts in order….

Posted in:Bikini|Kate Bosworth

2008

Aug

Britney Spears is in a Brown Bikini of the Day

13 Comments »

Britney Spears wears her brown bikini to erase her potential shit stains from not wiping her ass properly which is the same reason why my wife used to wear red underwear for the week of her period back before she gave up on life and would take the time to use tampons instead of what she does now that pretty much makes anywhere she sits or lays down look like a murder scene. I guess this is Britney’s way of telling the world that she hasn’t fully given up yet and there’s still more of her to give us.

The whole thing reminds me of opening my fridge yesterday out of dire hunger and finding absolutely nothing to eat, because my wife beat me to it, but opened the vegetable crisper out of desperation, only to find 2 rotten cucumbers that had probably been there for 6 months, not quite long enough to be dried up and easy to clean. After gagging at the fuckin’ smell that was worse than any rank pussy I’ve met, I figured if I don’t clean it no one will and leaving it there for another 6 months wasn’t condusive to getting my life together. Now I am not the best cleaner or most coordinated person out there so as I tried dumping it into an old grocery bag, I missed and shit exploed all over the floor, polluting the air with rotten cucumber smell and a brown gel like substance that was once nutritious eats. As I scrubbed the floor like the bitch that I am, all I could think about was that this was probably exatly what Britney’s underwear looks like when it isn’t all brown, strategically selected by her stylist to help clean up her dirty little image.

Posted in:Britney Spears|Brown Bikini

2008

Aug

Shauna Sand Drops Her Skirt and Strips in Public of the Day

10 Comments »

I don’t know what Shauna Sand was up to this weekend, but I do know she had some kind of flashback to her days workin’ the pole and took off clothing in public before getting into the car. I can only assume that whoever the fuck homeboy who is driving her around is, was expecting a good time on the ride home and she was just prepping, or maybe dude wanted her dirty panties rubbin’ up against his seat so that whenever he needed something to jerk off to, he could always just sniff the fuckin’ seat and smell her putrid cunt, but the point is that I wish more girls had this kind of attitude. The only time I can convince a girl to take off clothes for me is when we are at the stripclub and she’s doing it anyway, but I do a running commentary in my head that makes me feel like I am directing the whole thing and delusionally more involved than I am actually am. It’s that kind of fantasy that helps me keep livin’ and despite Shauna Sand being disgusting, she’s still better lookin’ than most hookers I come across….which isn’t saying much, because the hookers I know have rotting faces and tit jobs that make Shauna Sand’s botched job look like a work of art, but it is still saying something….

Posted in:Shauna Sand|Strips