I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

10

Jul

Lauren Conrad Drunk as Tits of the Day

I like drunk chicks, so seeing a drunk Lauren Conrad with her natural tits hanging out of her shirt makes me happy. I am tired of The Hills and the ugliness it produces and despite being average at best, Lauren Conrad is hotter than any of her costars. Heidi Montag is just horse-faced and ridiculous in her bible thumping bullshit lie of a life, and Audrina is a mutant who distracts you from her mutant face with a set of fake tits that I could have if I had 10,000 dollars to spend on tits, and last time I checked, if you can buy it, shit’s not representative of how hot you re.

I guess it doesn’t matter, mainly because The Hills don’t matter and soon enough the world will catch on and shit will be nothing more than something in the MTV archives no one really remembers enough to do a reunion special for and maybe I just like Lauren Conrad cuz she’s drunk and drunk girls have always been a crucail component in my getting laid….and here she is in low cut outfit busting out.

Posted in:Drunk|Lauren Conrad|Tits

2008

10

Jul

Celine Dion is Hot in a Bikini of the Day

Celine Dion is a hero where I live, shes the French Canadian who made it into the big leagues, a local talent who doesn’t live at home or do much for home, because she peaced the first chance she got, but knowing she is from the same shitty poverty low class roots as them keeps them going as they drive their compact 20 year old car to the local chicken restaurant they work at.

Like all French girls I know, other than my wife, who obviously has some kind of genetic disorder that I didn’t know about when I married her, she looks worth fucking in her bikini. For some reason, French chicks don’t really get fat no matter how badly they eat, they just always have these slim bodies that eventually start hanging off their bones in some kind of slim-fat aging mess, but when dressed shit looks pretty tight. I guess my idea of french girls is a little biased, since the only ones I know are career strippers who rock the pole, chain smoke and eat french fries and gravy, french toast, french salad dressing and drink excessively while jacked on coke.

The only exciting thing I know about French girls is their passion and love for getting fucked anally on the first date, they are pretty open to sex and laid back about the shit, meaning you don’t have to promise to take them to a subtitled movie so you can both enjoy it. They are low maintenance, and don’t expect flowers or jewelry, you just have to bring her a chocolate bar and promise to pay for the aborition if you knock her up and bitch is naked.

It’s also socially acceptable to fuck at 14 and legal for 50 year olds to fuck 14 year olds, it’s a cultural thing you’d probably appreciate, but that’s just because the young girls won’t judge your small penis because compared to the 14 year cock they’ve been getting, yours is average sized.

I heard that Celine Dion’s husband was her married neighbor when she was growing up and who slammed her when she was 14 and his wife was at church, before dude mortgaged his house to record her first album and make them all rich and making her father not run dude over with his snowplow.

BONUS – SOME MORE OF HER IN A ONE-PIECE

Posted in:Celine Dion|Hot

2008

10

Jul

Kate Moss on a Yacht in a Bikini of the Day

Kate Moss is in a bikini on a yacht and the pictures are boring as fuck considering it’s all been seen beore. She’s a retired has been we’ve all seen naked and she’s got tons of money and little to do with her time and always seems to end up on vacation every month. I guess raising her kid using nannies and private daycare is draining or too much responsibility for her. It could be that her hard drinking, drugs and not showering catches up to her and she needs to slow down a little every once in a while, but none of that matters because I am a fan of hers.

I think it’s just because I like that rich girls try to look like us poor people. They dress in rags, they don’t shower and they look like they smell. I was walking down the street the other day and this fucking homeless chick who lifted up her arms to reveal unshaved armpits and huge yellow sweat stains jumps into a 100,000 dollar Mercedes. I was so repulsed by her when I thought she was poor and disgusting because the condition of poor disgusting girls usually reflects the condition of their pussy and in this rich girl’s case shit would have been rank if she was poor, but knowing that she’s just doing this whole unshowered homeless sweaty thing for fashion means that she proabably smells like candy and her pussy is probably spotless and that is a lot hotter than going down on something that smells like sewage.

Posted in:Bikini|Kate Moss

2008

10

Jul

Xisca is in a Yellow Bikini of the Day

Here’s the Xisca chick in a bikini again. She’s some immigrant who’s banging a tennis player and by lookin’ at these pictures she’s not that hot. She looks like any other girl. Sure she’s not fat but that doesn’t really make a bitch hot, it just makes her worth fucking. If I was a star tennis player, I’d step up my fucking game and reach for obnoxious celebrities and models I want to fuck, I wouldn’t waste my time with this average nobody.

Since I am not a pro-tennis player, I’m going to stand up right now and walk in on my 300 pound wife who is probably stuck on the toilet again and who is in desperate need of a sponge bath, because she can’t fit in the tub but before I do, I am going to pull out my dick and show her what kind of man I am all over her big smelly ass.

Unfortunately, that always ends in shame and emasculating embarassment.

Posted in:Bikini|Xisca|Yellow

2008

10

Jul

Liv Tyler Bikini Pictures of the Day

Here are some 4th of July pictures of Liv Tyler suntanning with her unkown hotter friend who actually gets topless, instead of acting conservative like boring Liv Tyler. I think I already posted these, but make of point of forgetting all thing Liv Tyler since she’s fucking ugly and despite popular belief, she does actually have a vagina and the pregnancy pictures, babies and post pregnancy body to prove it and since I am not gay, I have no choice but to recognize all vaginas in bikinis.

Speaking of gay, I ran into a gay friend of mine the other day and we started talking about how he found out he was gay. It had nothing to do with having crushes on boys in his class or on TV, it didn’t happen after getting molested or taken advantage of by some pervert and he wasn’t introduce him to the beautfiul sexually deviant lifestyle by a friend he liked or respected. It happened over a period of time starting when in a long term relationship with a girl he used to cum inside.

One night, they were getting it on about an hour after they fucked and dude finished inside her. He got down to business eating her out and about 5 minutes into it a blob of his own cum fell into his mouth. He loved the taste and went nuts for more making her cum a few times but didn’t realize what it was until after the fact and he put 2 and 2 together and when he did he ran to the bathroom to brush his teeth 10 times and make himself puke.

Over the course of the next year, he came to terms with the fact that he liked his cum and started eating it after jerking off, he would lick it off his chick, suck it out of her chick, anything to get the taste, shit was like a drug and he needed a daily fix because he was addicted. It went on for years and one day her started wondering what other dudes taste like and it became an obsession that he couldn’t get it out of his head no matter how hard he tried, eventually meeting a bisexual friend and the rest is pretty much history.

So if you don’t want to become gay, don’t eat your own cum and more importantly don’t look at these Liv Tyler pics too long, cuz I hear she has that affect on men.

BONUS – PICTURES OF THE GIRL SHE’S HAVING HER BIKINI PARTY WITH- I HAVE NO IDEA WHO SHE IS, PROBABLY ONE OF HER STEPMOTHERS….

Posted in:Bikini|Liv Tyler

2008

10

Jul

Ashley Tisdale the Dog-Faced Girl of the Day

I get a lot of hate mail because I rip on Jewish Girls for having droopy dog faces due to generations of inbreeding to strengthen the community. I may do it to get a rise of the industry people who read this site and who I know are Jewish because everyone in Hollywood is, but I think it’s because Jewish girls are actually droopy dog faced monsters that scare me. Nose jobs, designer clothes, hair and make-up or not, they still have the ability to inspire Jewish men to marry gentiles. All while the poor fuckers who accidentally marry Jewish Dog Faced monsters to keep their families happy and secure their inheritance are keeping escort agencies, full service stripclubs, massage parlors in business. I guess it’s to feel what sex with a real girl who doesn’t chronically complain is like again. I could be wrong, sure Jewish girls give great head when they are trying to lasso their man, and that’s enough to look past a few birth defects, but doesn’t negate the fact that there are birth defects.

Either way, the evidence to back my point for today is Ashley Tisdale.

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Jewish

2008

10

Jul

Jo Champs in a See Through Dress at a Movie Premiere of the Day

Her name is Jo Champs, at least that’s what I was told in the email that was sent to me with these pictures and I have no idea who she is and either does the internet. She was at some Eddie Murphey movie premiere, so the truth is that she could be anyone since Eddie Murphey movie premieres have a hard time attracting even the most D-List celebrity to attend. They also have a hard enough time selling tickets when it hits regular theaters and on cheap tuesday only 2 dudes can be found watching the shit nationwide and they both work at the theatre and have seen everything else 15 times. The good news for Eddie Murphey is that if he’s lucky horny kids will realize that it’s the movie they’ll probably have the most privacy in when they decide it’s time to lose their virginity before going to college.

I am guessing that the producers of this shit recruited trash through the radio with promises of a glamourous event and this Jo Champs chick took it seriously enough to wear a see through dress that she bought at her local sex shop to show the world her tits and make the most impact she could in her 5 minutes on the red carpet, the best 5 minutes in her life. It turned out she got more positive attention than the movie because no one actually went inside, it’s so bad that even Eddie Murphey didn’t bother attending the event.

Posted in:Dress|Jo Champs|See Through

2008

10

Jul

Miley Cyrus Has No Legs of the Day

Here are some pictures of Miley Cyrus on the beach for a scene of her show in a pair of short fucking shorts. I guess the executives at Disney have come to terms with the fact that they’ve been jerking off to the spycam videos of Miley’s changing room for so long that it’s time to share the wealth, but I know that if this was my daughter, I wouldn’t let her leave the fucking house like this, I’d make sure she was in a sheer t-shirt with no bra, but only because I think dressing like that leads to better opportunities and it’s never too early to start.

I was randomly messaged by a girl today, someone I don’t know, and I asked her what she was wearing because that’s what I do. She turned around and called me a creep, automatically assuming that I was trying to get sexy with her, without even considering that maybe I am into fashion. Not to mention it’s the middle of the fucking day and she’s probably sitting in an office and cheap business casual doesn’t give me boners. But the real issue was that she called me a fuckin’ creep, when she’s the one messaging people she doesn’t know on the fucking internet, that’s the gateway shit that gets teenage girls raped and murdered by psycho’s they met online, so I guess she’s the creep.

The truth is that the real creep in all this is you, because the image of Miley Cyrus in short shorts turns you on but not as much as the idea of Miley Cyrus with no legs, beause you like the idea of her not being able to run away. Sicko.

BONUS – PICTURE OF HER SIMULATING A BLOWJOB

Posted in:Beach|Miley Cyrus

2008

10

Jul

Selma Blair Runs Around in a See Through Shirt of the Day

I slept in today because I was talking dirty to some small breasted girl from a different timezone until 5 or 6 in the morning, I thought I could make her cum by pretending I had a boner, but it turns out that I was wrong. It turns out that cyber sex with me is just a good motivational tool for the other party to be doing something more productive with their time. I am not very good. I think I threw her off when I told her I would lick her pussy like my wife eats a sandwich, but I could be wrong.

Here are some small titty Selma Blair wearing a see through top, because like the small titty girl I saw walking in a white shirt with no bra in the rain the other day, small titty girls feel like they have an equal right to not wear a bra and treat their chest the same as a dude does and that works for me, despite small tits being the closest thing I’ve ever been to fucking a man during my experimental days and they seem to be able to withstand more abuse than their big tits.

Either way, Selma Blair reminds me of some cocaine, hipster, electro music listening trash who thinks she’s so fucking fashionable in these pictures and at 36, I think it’s time for her to grow the fuck up.

BONUS – HERE SHE IS IN SOMETHING SKIMPY FOR SOME LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW BECAUSE BITCH IS PROMOTING SOME NEW SHOW….

Posted in:See Through|Selma Bliar

2008

10

Jul

stepLINKS of the Day

I just got back from the Sean Paul, Wyclef, Akon, Kardinal Offishal concert because the people running the Kardinal Offishall show decided to be nice enough to hook me up with 2 tickets and actually stuck to their word, something that never happens for me. That may not mean much to you, but no one ever gives me shit and I was happy to invite this hot 18 year old piece of ass I met at Starbucks to acompany me.

If you care, Wyclef stole the fuckin’ show, I had never seen someone rock a crowd so hard, Akon brought the trashy stripper looking bitches and made them all fuckin’ drippy as fuck because they all find him dreamy, so dreamy that I think the girl next to me actually got fuckin’ pregnant and the normal smell of weed you smell at a concert was heavily over-taken by the smell of wet wet pussy. I didn’t get laid, no one threw their bras or panties at me, but I got street cred and it felt like I am actually relevant so thanks to Kadinall Offishall for that self-esteem boost.

If you have no idea who Kardinall Offishall is, he’s the one rapping in that number 1 tune you’ve probably heard on the radio called Dangerous.

Either way, I am late on the links and here they are.

Watch a Whole Lot of Puking VIdeos
GO

Shauna Sand Bleeds Pure Elegance
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Some Video From Kim Kardashian’s Birthday That You Weren’t Invited To
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Some Slut Showing Off Her Tight Body
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Not Sure Who Jo Champa is, But Here Are Her Nipples
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Melanie Brown Pokies
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Messing with Drivers Ed Part 2
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Megan Fox Endorses FIJI Water Because She’s The Wettest Pussy Around…
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20 Greatest Celebrity Athlete Couples of All Time.
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Video of Hot Models in Thongs
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The Women of the 2008 Euro
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Brooke Hogan’s Shaved Pussy?
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Ali Lohan’s Teaches Us About Love…
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Marilyn Manson Gets His Wig Ripped Off and is Actually Bald and Runs Away Like a Scared Girl…This is Some Fascinating Shit I Cover Here….
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Trojan Slips a Cum Shot into an Ad
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Mary Kate Olsen Is Back in Rehab….
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Wal Mart Sells Funny Racist Kids Books
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Funny VIdeo of a Dude Fucking With a Telemarketer You’ve Probably Already Seen….
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Natasha Polevshchikova is Wearing Lingerie
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Porn, What is it Good For?
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Kelly Kayne – Stripper Pole Lessons
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Web Sluts Are The Only Sluts That Will Talk yo You, So Here They Are
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Find Girls To Fuck Because Dying a Virgin is Pretty Sad Dude
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How NOT to Fake a Heart Attack
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More Slip N Slide Fun
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a Bunch of Pre Knocked Up Gwen Stefani Pics
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Liz Vicious and Raven Riley
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Some Big Titted MILF from Phoenix
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Say Hello To Luba
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Let’s Hope This Ends in a Murder Suicide…
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The A-Rod and Vadge-onna Drama Continues
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Rhianna and Her Legs Are On Spanish Idol
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CoCo is All Kind of I Don’t Know What
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Striptease of the Day
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Horny fetish lesbians
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Drunk Girl Slams Her Head Against the Wall
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Redneck Water Slide
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Use This to Get Sex, Because We All Know You Ain’t Getting Shit in Terms of Pussy
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Darwin Award Dimwits
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The World’s Most Painful Dildo
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Uhhhh..Praise the Lord?
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Take a Tumble
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Sweet Sweet Demi
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The Golden Porsche
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Mrs. Brady Knows Best
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Japanese Earthworm Man is Actually a Robot
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Brigette Neilson is Getting a Full Body Tear Down
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Behind the Scenes of Tropic Thunder
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Mary-Kate Back to Rehab?
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A Nice Dose of Net Hotties
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All Access to BAnned Celebs Awaits You
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You Never Know Who is Watching
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Taser Your Friends With a Hacked Camera
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Posted in:stepLINKS