I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

03

Jul

Eva Longoria Rides the FIre Hydrant of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Eva Longoria is like a cat in heat or a retarded kid who rubs it’s genitals up against things because shit feels good and because he doesn’t know any better, like that time I volunteered to teach retards how to swim and it ended up being a fucking circle jerk as 8 retarded kids pulled out their dicks and started beating their shit harder than their dad’s beat their moms while they were pregnant to make them end up the way they did. I tried to stop them, and figured if you can’t beat them, you might as well join them. The group that organized the retard swim wasn’t too impressed with my attempt to make those fuckers feel normal.

UPDATE: I HAD TO TAKE DOWN THE PICTURES BECAUSE I CAN’T AFFORD TO BUY THEM FOR OUTRAGEOUS PAPARAZZI CON ARTIST PSYCHOPATH CRIMINAL STALKER KICK EM WHILE THEIR DOWN BECAUSE THEY KNOW I CAN’T AFFORD THEIR SHIT

Posted in:Eva Longoria|Fire Hydrant|Sex Toy

2008

03

Jul

Cheryl Tweedy Cole is Drunk of the Day

Cheryl Tweedy Cole is some Girls Aloud Spice Girl wannabe, who married some black David Beckham wannabe, and she is drunk. Some people think she just dropped her keys while going out, others just think she was overserved as she celebrated her 25th birthday, but I know it’s got more to do with her trying to deal the pain of her failed marriage she is trying to restore because like Beckham, her husband cheated on her, because otherwise he wouldn’t be biting Beckham’s style properly and you’d think she’d be more understanding since she stopped eating to bite Posh Spice’s style, but she’s too busy hitting the bottle and feeling sorry for herself. That over dramatic drunk. I guess the good news for Cheryl Tweedy Cole is that alcohol cures all ailments for me and drunk chicks are fun, even when crying and throwing up on themselves because they usually don’t stop you when you try to fingerbang them.

Posted in:Cheryl Tweedy Cole|Drunk

2008

03

Jul

Amy Winehouse is Awesome of the Day

Amy Winehouse was put under house arrest by her label, because she’s a talent who sells a lot of records and they can’t let her ruin that money making potential for their business. They don’t give a fuck about her health or well-being, they just care about her as a return on an investment that they have probably made 1000 times over but they aren’t done milking this shit and getting her off the streets and the drugs may equate to a couple more albums for her. But big business interest isn’t what this post is about, it’s obvious that business people are like psychopaths out for themselves and if they were to treat people in their everyday lives like they do in business, they’d be arrested or sent to they psych ward, but success and money distract from the fact that they are nuts.

Either way, Amy Winehouse is a fucking star, these are some pictures of her running around like a crazed woman, all while recently beng diagnosed with emphysema. I remember there was a period of time where I thought I had asthma because I was constantly short of breath and though I was going to die and I decided to sit on my couch so I wouldn’t have to strain myself by leaving the house, and never move, whenever anyone asked me to do something, I’d say I couldn’t cuz of the asthma and it was pretty much a solid way to drop any responsibility, I ended up gaining a solid 40 pounds and loved it, but needless to say, when I my wife forced me to go to the doctor and I found out that I wasn’t sick, it put a total damper on my strategy.

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Awesome|Drug Addict

2008

03

Jul

Ashley Tisdale is a Fucking Spy in a Bikini of the Day

When Tisdale first got her nose job, I thought nothing of it, I was like this is some bitch with too much money and a bad nose who is considered a star to 10 year olds, but is virtually a nobody to the rest of the world, the perfect position you want to be if you want to cut the line at the movies, and now that I see her rockin’ a camo bikini, I am convinced bitch is some kind of state issued agent who got her nose job to hide her identity as she got more famous like some kind of CIA agent used to brainwash the youth into finding God again or to be celebate like she is the fucking Devil but the truth is that I am just a paranoid dude, and Tisdale is just on a vacation with some dude who she brought to fuck the shit out of her little Highschool Musical vagina and the great news is that her promise ring Disney makes her wear, that vows celibacy until marriage, because we all know how stable marriage is, and how marrying a virgin is the biggest fucking mistake anyone can make, doubles as a cock ring for her androngynist pre-pubescent 12 year old lookin’ boyfriend who’s been given the Disney issued Peter Pan Hormone Treatment like he was Jonathan Taylor Thomas even though he’s 30.

Either way she’s in a bikini, I’m not a fan and would prefer if she was actually out in the warzone dodging bullets and not paparazzi, but I’m just an asshole and like seeing people dance because they have to and not because they want to.

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Bikini

2008

02

Jul

stepLINKS of the Day

My computer’s been running like shit – so I was hoping to get it fixed. I went to the computer store by my house and the motherfucker’s wouldn’t let me talk to a tech because I don’t grasp this geek shit and I need my computer to post my daily smut, they wanted me to keep it overnight – I told them to fuck themselves and decided to go to the coffee shop to scope out teenage girls, but instead got stuck behind some dude with one of those throat cancer robot things in his neck, now dude having that shit was gross enough, but he decides since everyone’s already lookin’ at his cancerous neck in disgust, he’ll take shit up a notch and take it out and start playing with the fucking thing. I was going to throw up, but contained myself because that’s just the kind of guy I am. Either way, I am sure other shit went down that was more interesting to write but I can’t think of anything but that shit in dude’s neck and posting these links. The plan for the night is to celebrate Lohan’s birthday with her, only I wasn’t invited to the party, so maybe I’ll just use my wife as a trampoline.

Here are my links:

Web Sluts Are the Best Kind of Sluts, As Far As I’m Concerned
GO

Prank Call to Religous Call-In Show
GO

Britney and Adnan Are Aligning Fucking Again
GO

Vanessa Hudgens’ Got Little Cleavage . Maybe Her Gay Boyfriend Knocked Her Up
GO

Her name is Busty Hart and she’s crushes things with her tits on America’s Got Talent, This is the Video
GO

Jade Jagger Squats To Take a Public Pee
GO

Chuck Norris Will Kill You
GO

Jennifer Garner’s Got Some Bigger Tits
GO

Is She a Cougar or Not?
GO

Best 10 Moments of Celebrities Playing Sports…
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Rating 5 Famous Female Bloggers
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Rachel Hunter Got Fat
GO

Hey Everybody! Asses!
GO

Find Girls To Fuck, What Else Do YOu Have Panned Tonight?
GO GO

Go-Kart Crash
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Gianne Albertoni Agua de Coco is Wearing a Swimsuit
GO

How to Get a New Car Without Paying For It
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Jordan’s Backyard Fun
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Black Angelica All Dolled Up
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20 Minutes of Lesbian Licking
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Pete Wentz is At Least Partly Homo
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Bring It On the Locker Room Scene
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Now THAT’S What I call Talent
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Local Bar Calls Out Linda Hogan
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Shannen Doherty Moves Back to 90210?
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Sluts at the Shot at Love Wrap Party
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Rose Mc Gowen Got Dumped and Isn’t Good Enough to Be in Good Movies
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Striptease of the Day
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The Best Porn You’ll See All Day
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Stephen Baldwin Threatens to Leave America if Obama is Elected – Because He’s a Racist – Unfortunately For Him – No One Cares
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Alisha King is a Tigress
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Christie Brinkley’s Future Ex Husband Spends 3000 Dollars a Month on Internet Porn and Other Good Things…Check it Out
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Taylor Twins vs. Next Door Nikki
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Spy Cam Bust
GO

Science Fair Projects That Are Good For a Laugh
GO

Amazing Electric Chair Prank
GO

Check Your Surroundings
GO

Strong Bad’s Cool Game for Attractive People
GO

I Dunno Who Cassie is But She is Full Bangable
GO

Tila Tequila And Her Cleavage
GO

Angel Dark in the Shower
GO

This Will Help Even You Get Laid. Fact.
GO

Here’s the Finale From a Shot at Love With Tila Tequila
GO

Some Kim Kardahian Ass, In Case You Forgot What It Looks Like
GO

Norwegian + Brazilian = Monica Hansen
GO

Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon already on the Rocks, And Not The Shiny Ones and Not The Ones That Get You High
GO

Some China MAn Does a Magic Trick That I Don’t Really Understand
GO

Messing With Driving Instructors
GO

Turn a Hot Chick Into a Geek
GO

Cyber Sex is Better Than the No Sex You Get Right Now, Right?
GO

Kate Moss’ Ass Over Noho
GO

Candice Michelle Lesbian Sex in the Bathtub
GO

Sexy classy blonde on stairs
GO

Stripper Dykes Do It Right
GO

Swet Auditions Give You a Look a Porn Behind the Scenes
GO

Two Dumb Sluts Have Lunch With Goldie Hawn
GO

Ed Harris is a Tough Guy
GO

Make a Giant Mushroom Cloud Explosion
GO

BONUS – Two Parts of Jessica, Some Nude Model on Shot By Kern – Mexico City –

Part 1 –
GO

Part 2
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Dude’s Wife is Naked and Skinny
GO

Some Girl Trying As Hrd As She Can To Be a Sexy, Tacky, Playboy Slut
GO

Some Slut Posing in Barely Any Clothes
GO

Some Dude’s Got a TIed Up Girl Fantasy
GO

Sluts:
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

02

Jul

Katherine Kelly Lang in a Bikini of the Day

You can tell that this bitch is a mom, not because of the fact she’s with kids, because this camp councilor I knew was always around kids, and no one thought much of it, because he was a little socially awkward and seemed to find happiness in the innocence and simplicity of childhood, until one of his little buddies cried rape to his mom and the sick motherfucker who everyone thought was just a friendly giant, was in fact a child rapist and dude was sent off to jail, but you can tell she’s a mom in the way her ass seems be getting sucked in by the vaccuum that is her vagina.

Her name is Katherine Kelly Lang, she’s on a Soap Opera called The Bold and the Beautiful, it’s probably safe to assume you’ve jerked off to her before because you have limited channels and you don’t have a job and it’s the only thing on TV and bitch has been on this shit every day for the last 20 years, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t boring, even while showing off her mom body in Italy in a bikini, and no, that isn’t mean in the green bathing suit, I am so useless that even uselss Soap Stars don’t invite me on vacation with them….

As a sidenote, her husband is Stephen Baldwin’s manager, so they must be really really rich because I hear Baldwin only takes high paying jobs like Celebrity Apprentice, Jesse Stone: Night Passage, Earthstorm all while finding Jesus.

Posted in:Bikini|Katherine Kelly Lang

2008

02

Jul

Marla Maples is Miss America in a Bikini of the Day

Marla Maples has been doing that “Look at me everyone I’m in a bikini” cry for attention the last couple of weeks now. I guess she figures that if she hires photographers and gets in a bikini and poses with random things in hopes of getting attention, eventually she will land on a tabloid as the hottest bikini body above 40 or some shit.

Today is the Miss America edition for July 4th, and I hear that if this song and dance doesn’t work, her next photoshoot includes midgets, clowns and fireworks and if that one doesn’t get her the attention she thinks she deserves, things are going to get messy and she’s going to start taking hostages at gun point in the local bank with a list of fuckin’ demands, the top being to get her pictures in People Magazine.

I assume all this is to get back at Donald Trump and make him regret that he left her for a younger hotter immigrant gold digger and since she’s a little too old to get back at dude by competing and winning his next Miss America pageant, she’ll go about it her own way, because revenge is bittersweet, at least that’s what I hear.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

02

Jul

Aubrey O’Day’s Got Some Trashy Cleavage of the Day

Nothing says I am a classy little whore like putting blush on your implant cleavage to match your little slut cheeks. It’s the kind of trashy glamor that only the high class hookers can afford because they figure since they paid so much for their tits, they should at least decorate them shits like a fucking Christmas tree. I figure since her career is only based on some shitty reality TV produced band, it’s pretty fleeting, but at least she’ll always have her tits.

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|Tits

2008

02

Jul

Ashlee Simpson Pregnancy Tits of the Day

I am guessing that Ashlee Simpson got pregnant via artifical insemination or some kind of sperm donor or cock she was getting on the side, because last I heard, Pete Wentz had a vagina and lesbian relationships can’t make their own babies.

Further proof that she’s a lesbian is that her tits look sloppy, her stomach looks fat and those are pretty much two things that describe all the lesbians I know. Throw on a flannel shirt and a pair of construction boots and cut off her long luxurious orange hair asymetrical and she’ll be pretty much in dyke business. The only problem with Ashlee, proven by her career is that she’s in a constant identity crisis trying to pave her own way in her sister’s shadow, so it’d be expected that getting down to business would take her longer than the average lesbian because she is a loser and just doesn’t know what’s up.

At least we know that we can look forward to their next pregnancy, when Wentz’s jealously makes him decide that it’s his turn to be the mom and we get to see motherfucker on Oprah talking about being the second man to get pregnant because he’s actually got a uterus instead of balls and stopped hormone therapy because he couldn’t handle watching the connection Ashlee had to her baby as she breast fed and his maternal instinct kicked in and he figured it was time to stop living the lie and do what nature had originally planned out for him….

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Pregnancy|Tits

2008

02

Jul

Kate Beckinsale’s Tit Falls Out Of Her Dress And No One Gets The Nipple of the Day

I never saw the movie Underworld, but I know that is the only reason why virgins and losers everywhere want to get in Kate Beckinsale’s pants. It’s pretty standard for the geeks of the world to be obsessive about things and have trouble letting things go, because they just sit around all day alone thinking too much, without the distractions normal people have, like girls they are fucking, sports they are playing, or booze they are drinking. Geeks just sit in their superiority complex room, looking down on those of us who have fun, dreaming that one day all the money they make will sweep the girls in movies they love off their feet, I guess it gives them hope to keep on living.

Here are some pictures of Kate Beckinsale, with her husband, grabbing at his cock and falling out of her dress, to taunt you with the harsh reality that bitch will never be yours no matter how many fan letters you send her, or how many pictures of her you print and cut out for your Kate Beckinsale scrap book, or how uncanny the resemblance of your sex doll you designed and her really are. I think she’s boring as fuck, but then again, so are you and that’s probably why you are convinced you are soul mates, you weird motherfucker.

TO WATCH THE VIDEO YOU’LL HAVE TO GO TO THOSE COCKSUCKERS AT TMZ WHO I HATE
GO

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|Tit