I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

02

Jul

Ashlee Simpson Pregnancy Tits of the Day

I am guessing that Ashlee Simpson got pregnant via artifical insemination or some kind of sperm donor or cock she was getting on the side, because last I heard, Pete Wentz had a vagina and lesbian relationships can’t make their own babies.

Further proof that she’s a lesbian is that her tits look sloppy, her stomach looks fat and those are pretty much two things that describe all the lesbians I know. Throw on a flannel shirt and a pair of construction boots and cut off her long luxurious orange hair asymetrical and she’ll be pretty much in dyke business. The only problem with Ashlee, proven by her career is that she’s in a constant identity crisis trying to pave her own way in her sister’s shadow, so it’d be expected that getting down to business would take her longer than the average lesbian because she is a loser and just doesn’t know what’s up.

At least we know that we can look forward to their next pregnancy, when Wentz’s jealously makes him decide that it’s his turn to be the mom and we get to see motherfucker on Oprah talking about being the second man to get pregnant because he’s actually got a uterus instead of balls and stopped hormone therapy because he couldn’t handle watching the connection Ashlee had to her baby as she breast fed and his maternal instinct kicked in and he figured it was time to stop living the lie and do what nature had originally planned out for him….

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Pregnancy|Tits

2008

02

Jul

Kate Beckinsale’s Tit Falls Out Of Her Dress And No One Gets The Nipple of the Day

I never saw the movie Underworld, but I know that is the only reason why virgins and losers everywhere want to get in Kate Beckinsale’s pants. It’s pretty standard for the geeks of the world to be obsessive about things and have trouble letting things go, because they just sit around all day alone thinking too much, without the distractions normal people have, like girls they are fucking, sports they are playing, or booze they are drinking. Geeks just sit in their superiority complex room, looking down on those of us who have fun, dreaming that one day all the money they make will sweep the girls in movies they love off their feet, I guess it gives them hope to keep on living.

Here are some pictures of Kate Beckinsale, with her husband, grabbing at his cock and falling out of her dress, to taunt you with the harsh reality that bitch will never be yours no matter how many fan letters you send her, or how many pictures of her you print and cut out for your Kate Beckinsale scrap book, or how uncanny the resemblance of your sex doll you designed and her really are. I think she’s boring as fuck, but then again, so are you and that’s probably why you are convinced you are soul mates, you weird motherfucker.

TO WATCH THE VIDEO YOU’LL HAVE TO GO TO THOSE COCKSUCKERS AT TMZ WHO I HATE
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Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|Tit

2008

02

Jul

Video of My Wife the Man Version of the Day

My wife is French Canadian and not some Mexican corn tortilla eating man like me and she doesn’t have a penis, from what I’ve seen, but I have to admit I try to never venture down there into her danger zone, but I will say that when she takes a shower, or when I sleep next to her, this dude in the video is what I see, only she’s less motivated to get out of bed than him. I am just posting this to give you a taste of the hell that I am living.

Posted in:Fat Man

2008

02

Jul

Denise Richard’s Nephew Checks Out Her Playboy Spread

Since my computer has AIDS, I figured I’d post this video of Denise Richards potentially setting her nephew up for a future that has a high risk of AIDS. Not only does she talk to him about her Playboy spread but also brings up her threesome in Wild Things with Neve Campbell and Kevin Bacon and the little dude pretty much admitted to seeing “clips” of it probably when googling his Aunts name.

All Denise did when she had “that talk” with the dude was admit that she is someone who gets naked for money, but she didn’t really get into how it’s wrong to get turned on by your aunt and that it’s wrong to masturbate to images of your aunt dyking out, because family may come first, but family isn’t supposed to make you come at all. That’s the kind of shit that leads you to drugs or suicide.

Either way, from now on, no girl he meets will or gets with will be as hot or as good as his aunt and when he realizes that getting off to your aunt is fucked up, when other kids are going to their aunt’s house for dinner, while this punk is going to his aunt’s house to hide in the closet and jerk off while she’s changing until he gets caught and the guilt of being some freak who can only get turned on by his own family member is going to throw this motherfucker into homosexuality, at least that’s my prediction. It’s one of those all women make me think about how fucked in the head I am and all tits make me think of my aunt so I’ll just stay the fuck away from tits….situation.

This clip is 4 days old, I’m the first to admit I am slow movin.

Posted in:Denise Richards|Nephew|Playboy

2008

01

Jul

stepLINKS of the Day

I have a gambling addiction, I never had one before, but after losing my shirt in high stakes monopoly, I have decided to join my fellow french men and elderly and asians and hit up the local Casino the last 2 days. It’s all part of my retirement plan and so far my low stakes 25 cent horse race betting has lost me 40 dollars, which may not sound like much to you but is like 4000 dollars to the average person. I spent about 24 hours there in the last 50 hours, I haven’t slept much and I am already craving to go but have no money to get me there so instead I decided to post my links, so you better like them because I feel like I am making sacrifices for you by putting them up.

Did You Feel The Earth Shaking This Morning?
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Really Big Boobs Talking
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Quantum of Solace : Teaser Trailer
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Lucy Pinder Topless in Some Magazine Because I Was Too UnInterested to Post It
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Suzanne Somers Panty Flash
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Check Out Some Scientology Tits
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The 10 Funiest Moments in Midget History
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KIds Give Their Grandmother a Dildo for Her Birthday
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Hot and Professional Internet “Actresses” Make Your Day Better…. By Getting You Off
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Madonna is with A-Rod – Who Cares….
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Yamila Diaz-Rahi Wants to Show You Her Lingerie
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Alison Angel is All Laid Out
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Back in ’83
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Drunken Leprechaun
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Michael Jackson and Akon Collaborate on This Song that Just Hit
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Do It Yourself Sex Change Weirdness
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Kinky Sex….
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MILF of the Day
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Some Escort Company Uses Erotic Chickens to Get Business
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Porn You Know You Can Count On
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Black Chicks Are My New Thing and Here’s Why
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Cameron Teases on the Web Cam
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Movies Made Sexy
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The New York Subway Sign Gets Pranked
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TERRI RUNNELS IS THE HOTTEST MILF IN THE WORLD
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Watermelon’s Increase Iibido Which Explains the Birth Rate in the Projects
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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And That’s Why You Don’t Run When You’re Dizzy
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Girlies Have a Mud Fight
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Amy Winehouse’s Husband Juts Keeps Proving He’s a Class Act
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The Sexiest Wood You Can Find
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Lingerie Dance Off
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Frozen Taco Bell Prank
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Teen Web Cam Striptease
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Not Too Sure What’s Happening on the Set of Rhianna’s New Video
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Lindsay Lohan and Lily Allen Making a Pop Song
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Excellent Amateur Set
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Madonn’s Cobwebbed Vagina May Have Found It’s Next Victim
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Daniela Cicarelli is Looking Good
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Japanese Ump Gets Leveled
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Use This to Get Sex, Because You Need All The Help You Can Get
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Lanny Barbie Says Happy Canada Day
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Hot chick getting the massage mouse
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Big Mouth Bitch
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Heather Vandeven in Black Lingerie
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Ashley Simpson Clevage Throwback
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Kate Beckinsale Is Really Really Horny
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Praise the Lord! Eddie Murphey Wants to Retire
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Will Smith’s Hancock May Be the Worst Movie Ever
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Chick Has Fun in Her Room
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Pic Dump of the Day
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Eva Longoria Needed a Rest
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The Month of June in Bikinis
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Gianne Albertoni is a Slut
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Why Are All the British Magazines So Amazing
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My Kind of Office
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Prank a Friend With an Exploding Mouse Trap
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Arika oiling up her impressive rack
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French Fisting is Everything You WOuld Hope It Is
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Who Remembers Masturbating to Daisy Fuentes
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ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Girl and Her Big Tits in Her Underwear…..
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Some Homemade Porn Videos
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Some Party Girls Getting Nice and Crazy
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Party Girls Alway Put Out are Worth Getting Punched by a Bouncer
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BONUS THAT ISN’T A BONUS – MILEY SINGING HER NEW SONG BADLY WHILE ACTING RETARDED WITH HER UGLY FACE IN HER NEW LOW BUDGET VIDEO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

01

Jul

RIP MOTHERFUCKER the Ruslana Korshunova Edition

So this may be old news, Supermodel Ruslana Korshunova killed herself by jumping off the 9th floor of her Manhatten apartment yesterday afternoon. They say that it could have something to do with the Russian mob because they are fucking crazy, but it is most likely a suicide from a broken heart. Every Russian that I have ever met has always been a little off, I always blamed communism and the everyman is the working class, with rationed bread, poor living conditions, state issued clothes that everyone wore, like being raised in some kind of prison, but I never went to Russia and it was all speculation. They always seemed willing to hurt other people, but never themselves.

Now I don’t know this chick, but she was fucking successful and maybe she was taken away from her family too young, or maybe she couldn’t adapt to going from a life in hell and poverty to a life of Glizt and Glamor, while all she really anted was her her mother’s home cooked Borshch, but put up with the day to day shit of being a model to not let her family who she was sending her money back home to. Maybe it was drugs or too much pressure on herself or maybe it was a broken heart. But Russians are known to strong and to have no emotions are are too busy getting the job done, training for olympic sports, modeling or doing eveything in their power to get the fuck out of Russia like becoming mail order brides and you’d think that Ruslana was living the dream, but I guess sometimes the only way to stop the demons in your head or your unhappiness is off yourself. Suicide is for pussies, and it’s pretty fuckin’ sad especially when it’s a a beautiful successful girl who had her life ahead of her, and the cast of The Hills or some fat chick who is sad because no one really cares about, because the world has enough fat chicks and can do with one less.

Either way, I feel like I have lost one of my own, not because I am a model, but because I like to masturbate to picture of models. Ruslana Korhunova, RIP Motherfucker.

Geraldo stayed classy by airing footage of her dead body because dude will do anything to get people watching his shit:

Posted in:Dead|RIP Motherfucker|Ruslana Korshunova

2008

01

Jul

Amy Winehouse and Her Star of David of the Day

Here is Amy Winehouse showing the world that she’s Jewish by rockin’ a Star of David, I figured that she already did a good job letting us all know that she was Jewish by walking around with her droopy, big nosed, Jewish Face.

I think its a little too late for Amy Winehouse to get in touch with her Jewish roots for salvation, because from what I’ve been told, being Jewish is really only good for making money, and getting blowjobs in summer camp and the only thing it is going to do for her is give her a couple extra months, and only if some kind of Jewish guilt cloud hangs over her head making her stop using drugs, but the damage is done and I hear crack has more pull than Moses or whoever the fuck the Jews see as their God, and she’s pretty much already going to hell, even though Jews don’t have a hell, so at this point it’ll do as much for her as that time I rocked a Mercedes hood ornament around my neck in hopes of making chicks thing I had so much money that I didn’t mind ripping off my hood ornaments, cuz I’d just buy myself a new one, which wasn’t very much good, because it didn’t work as magically as I hoped it would.

The good news is that she’s showing some nipple, and nipple, even on a crackhead is still nipple, so enjoy.

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Nipple|Star of David

2008

01

Jul

Mental Patient Died in an Psych Ward due to Negligence of the Day

As the most incompetent person at everything I set my mind out to do, I can say that I have never been directly responsible for someone’s death in my incompetent ways. Truth is that I didn’t really have a job that would really put anyone’s life at risk, I mean other than being a Valet at a shitty hotel for about 3 days, before getting fired for being too slow, but other than that the only life at any risk was my own for operating machinery when completely wasted on the job or falling asleep, not showing up, and pretty much sucking at everything I put my mind out to do.

I saw this video of a mental ward waiting room and it pretty much blew me away, because 2 security guards, a doctor and a nurse all walked in and out on a dying bitch and did nothing about it because I guess they aren’t paid enough to actually give a shit. I was always under the impression that being in a hospital was the best place to be in the event something went wrong. I would remember I’d get severe panic attacks when in hospitals visiting dying friends because disease scares me and was confident they’d defibrillate or jack my lifeless body up with meds in the event that I was to go down, but then again, I don’t live in the US where poor people are prisoners to a flawed system designed for the rich. That is probably the reason why Magic Johnson is still alive with HIV and every whore I know from the 90s in New York that I used to spend time with and who got the germ are dead. That’s pretty much why I am up in Canada, not because I like it here but because it works for ghetto folk like myself.

Posted in:Dead|Mental Patient

2008

01

Jul

Some Mom Shakes Her Ass While Her 4 Year Old Films It of the Day

It’s a shitty fucking day today, not only did my computer break this weekend out of nowhere and deleted all my files that I have been trying to figure out how to restore all while not understanding geek shit, but the rest of Canada is enjoying their day off because they are celebrating Canada Day which is like Independence Day but 4 days earlier and with a lot less shootings. So all these fuckers are out there celebrating their weird country drinking beer, fucking beavers (the animal not the vagina) and singing the national anthem in honor of Avril Lavigne, Sum 41, Pam Anderson, Mike Myers and all other Canadian celebrities while I sit here watching a video emailed to me claiming to be a mom doing a booty dance while her little kid films her.

I don’t know much, but I do know good parentling and starting your kid up young for a lucrative career is smart, making all the post traumatic flashbacks he gets when he’s a little older and girls he’s banging try to give him a little dance show of their own and all dude sees is the images you see in the video, worth it. Listen to it with the sound on…

Posted in:Bootyshake|Video

2008

01

Jul

Christina Milian Rocks a Bikini of the Day

Christina Milian was the Rihanna the Beta Version. That was some internet talk since this is the fucking internet. The only difference between Milian and Rihanna was that Rihanna knew she wasn’t hugely talented, so she plays the puppet and sings other people songs, while Milian was the eager cheerleading bitch from your high school who starred in the school play, won the school talent show, organized the school fashion show, was on the Yearbook Committee, was the President of the school Government, took singing and dancing classes on her spare time, got straight As, like making puzzles, had a hot body and was a champion tennis player. Bitch had her fucking hands in everything and just spread herself too thin, something I wish my wife could do to herself, so that I could have sex again.

Either way, here she is looking hot in a bikini, because now that she’s burnt out and not really out there, she has plenty of time to just kick it.

Posted in:Bikini|Christina Milian