I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

09

Jun

Shauna Sand’s Got Some Weird Nipples and Grey Vagina of the Day

I know strippers who have had many back alley implants done because they were affordable and because the girls were more interested in having big fake tits than not getting hepatitis, HIV, or infections from the dirty unsterilized room and over the years, there were only a few accidents, like nipples started to take on a new shape, silicone would leak and turn tits black and one girl even claimed her nipple fell off when she took a shower, which I don’t believe because she smelled like she never showered. But even when that shit was re-applied, it still looked better than whatever the fuck is going on with Shauna Sand’s tit.

I know, like the strippers I knew, her tits were the foundation of her useless career of getting naked as some Playboy Trash, because despite Playboy’s marketing ploy that their girls are classy, they are usually just big blonde gutter sluts livin’ on a trashy dream but it’s pretty clear that her career was one that didn’t pay too much because her tits look a lot like the bad haircut I once got at a Hair Dressing School because I had to clean up for a job interview, but walked away with a patchy mess that made the people hiring me think I was dying of cancer, a fate less painful than whatever Shauna Sand’s pussy died of.


Shauna Sand Sex Tape Clips Exclusive

Posted in:Nipples|Plastic Surgery|Shauna Sand

2008

09

Jun

Denise Richards Knows Her Self Worth of the Day

I was watching this video of Denise Richards having a spray tan, as I tend to do on monday mornings, and I was happy to see that bitch knows her self-worth.

Not only does her spray tanner have the most ridiculous job in the fuckin’ world, where she pretty much gets paid to go around to useless celebrity houses to airbrush their naked bodies, but this one’s got the added bonus of being Denise Richard’s hired self-esteem booster. As she hoses her down and makes her brown, , she has to throw out all the fuckin’ compliments about how good her body is and ask whether she’s been working out to make Denise Richards feel better about her fleeting looks and body due to being a lazy cunt, like the whipped husband who is trained to tell his wife how pretty she still looks, even though deep down inside he knows he jerks off to the neighbor’s 18 year old, because Denise Richards doesn’t have a husband.

The highlight of the video is when she grabs her tits and says something along the lines of “these babies made me a couple million dollars” letting us all know that even she knows that she’s a talentless whore and only got where she got by sucking the right dick and showing the right amount of Tit. Watch it.

Posted in:Denise Richards|Spray Tan

2008

07

Jun

stepLINKS of the Day

So I took my younger stepdaughter to stand outside the outdoor Death Cab for Cutie contest because I couldn’t afford the tickets because no one takes this site seriously and the security guys kicked us out for loitering, she was pretty disappointed but not as disappointed as I was when I had a circus moment and a 300 pound woman who wasn’t my wife rode by on a bicycle, while a fake titty slut’s breast fell out of her shirt and an old Russian woman with a pet bird on her shoulder bent down to pick up some random dog’s dog shit and showed the world her old lady Russian thong all in the span of 30 seconds and I didn’t have a camera to capture the excitement that is life.

I did have the time to capture the excitement that is the internet and here are my links:


I’d Fuck Dakota Johnson
GO

Gina Carano is a Slut In Training
GO

Lohan Has Sex With Some Bobby Brown Kid in the Bathroom
GO

Kate Beckinsale Just Can’t Cook but Can Fuck
GO

Rupert Everett Hates Americans
GO

Victoria Silvstedt See Through Panties
GO

Victoria Silvstedt in Some Photoshoot Video
GO

What If We Did Everything We Do on Facebook In Real Life
GO

Melissa Jimenez is a Latino rough rider.
GO

Top 10 Topless Scenes in Sandler Movies
GO

Emilia Attias In Some Hot Photoshoot
GO

More Myspace Losers
GO

Girlfriend Flips the Fuck Out
GO

The Last Beer
GO

Big Booby Rub Down
GO

Drunk Angry Girl Does a Big FALL!
GO

Tigress Gets Naked
GO

Ginger Jolie is Most Def a Porn Name and Her are Her Pictures….
GO

Kate Beckinsale Is Going to Save What’s Left of Her Vagina and Not Have Anymore Kids
GO

30 Seconds of This Hot Chick is More Than You Will Get All Day
GO

Marie-Kate Olsen Takes a Dive Outside Some Nightclub
GO

Jailbait Moment – Selena Gomez Won’t Have Sex Before Marriage
GO

Busty Alice
GO

Find Girls to Fuck, Because You Only Lose Your Virginity Once, and It Should be Special
GO

Krista Allen Gallery
GO

Your Friday Fix of Web Cam Sluts
GO

Rachel Bilson is the Hottest Not Working Actress Around
GO

Hilary Duff’s Ass in American Apparel Spandex
GO

Abigail Clancy Is Rockin’ a Bikini From Many Good Angles
GO

Father of the Year Stars in The SICKEST Fucking Story I Have Every Fucking Seen
GO

The Happening Gets Abused Again
GO

Sharon Stone Still Apologizing for Being an Inconsiderate Bitch
GO

Amateurs of the Day
GO

Paula Abdul is the Luckiet Person on the Planet
GO

Mariah Spice Gets Totally Naked
GO

I Love Noodles and by Noodles I Mean Yellow Bitches
GO

Use This To Get Sex, Homo
GO

Hit and Run Victim Gets No Help
GO

Sandy Sweet in Lingerie
GO

Carli Banks Bikini Shoot
GO

Hayden Panty-Airs Blocks Her Upskirt Because She is a Prude
GO

Hills Spinoff Expected to Be Biggest Piece of Shit Ever
GO

Now THAT’S a Swift Kick in the Balls
GO

Upsidedown Water Slide That I am Probably Too Fat to Ride, But Still Looks Amazing
GO

Flexi Girls Are Fun
GO

The Best Stunt Scene Ever Filmed, And By Best, I Mean Worst
GO

And Now, I Lead You to Victory!
GO

Girl Gets Off Alone in the Dark
GO

Open a Beer Bottle…With a Beer Bottle
GO

Kid Slaps Mom in the Face on Doctor Phil
GO

Lohan and Ronson Shop Together
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart – Beth Ditto in a Garbage Bag Edition
GO

Some Funny Shit You Can Buy at Harriet Carter
GO

Some Hot Laticia Cline Gallery
GO

Maxi Mounds Has Some Really Massive Tits to GO With Her Really Busted Face
GO

Carmen Electra at a Drag Race
GO

The Naked Cast of Real World
GO

Super Slow Mo!
GO

Karina Smirnoff @ The Bravo A-List Awards
GO

Some Hot Joanna Krupa Gallery
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Hot Young Girls Flashing and Kissing
GO

Bonus – Party Girls Do a Little Wet T-Shirt-ing
GO

PORN REVIEWS:

Let’s Play Doctor
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

06

Jun

Whoopi Goldberg Erotic Moment of the Day

For those of you who don’t read the site, which is probably all of you, you wouldn’t know that I try to keep track of all things sexual Whoopi Goldberg says on The View because that shit turns me on. There’s something magical about someone who I always thought was a man growing up watching her movies, and finding out that under those loose fitting jeans and over-sized shirt lives a vagina.

It today’s segment, Whoopi talks about how she liked sex with no strings attach when she was single, she talks about her itch getting scratched without having to be in love and just for the sake of satisfying her horniness and I couldn’t stop thinking about how lucky the fucker who got to make out with this rough-faced vixen and slide his hand up her rough-skinned thing to dick into her hot went crotch only to find a hot set of balls.

Either way, don’t masturbate too hard to this one, it is proven to cause emotional trauma and sexual confusion.

Posted in:Erotic Moment|Sex|Whoopi Goldberg

2008

06

Jun

Lake Bell Does Details Magazine of the Day

Her name is Lake Bell, I never heard of her, but even if I had, I probably wouldn’t remember because she seems like nothing special. This is her Details Magazine shoot that probably comes with a really interesting interview if you are gay or a fan of Lake Bell, but since all I hear when girls talk to me is the fantasy of the moans and grunts they’d be making when having sex all while staring at their tits, I feel like her actual opinion on things would take away from that. Who cares about how she got into the business when she could be crawling around on all fours, I guess it’s just a question of prioritizing and time management and if she wants more successes should keep her comments for someone who has no choice to listen to them, like her mom, because all we really want is to see her vagina talk.

Posted in:Lake Bell|Photoshoot

2008

06

Jun

Brody Jenner Gets His Pussy In a White Bikini of the Day

The thing I like about Brody Jenner is that he realizes no one gives a fuck about him and has gone so far as to brand his entire body with his name as some kind of billboard in hopes that the name resonates with some people and they turn to each other and say “Jenner, that sounds familiar, isn’t there someone on TV named Jenner” causing some kind of disagreement that leads them approaching the motherfucker to settle the bet they are having and sometimes that means vagina gets thrown his way because girls seem to care about that shit more than dudes do.

Yesterday, you saw him with his robot corpse looking plastic surgery ridden mother and his hot bikini model he’s fucking, and here are some more pics of them day 2 only she’s in a white bikini which is pretty much my favorite kind of bikini because they usually are semi-see through while the girl wearing it has no idea and unsuspecting flashing is the best kind of flashing, like all the times I drop my pen at Starbucks to crawl around under the tables when really I am just panty hunting. I am deceiving like that.

Posted in:Bikini|Brody Jenner|Cora Skinner

2008

06

Jun

Jessica Simpson is Probably Pregnant of the Day

So someone told me that Jessica Simpson is moving into country because it has more longevity than pop since the people who listen to country are people of routine as they tend to their farms for generations doing the same jobs day in and day out from the age of 6, when they dropped out of school, until the day they die and are as loyal as Rusty, the dog they found in a ditch just outside of town when they were on their way to get feed and a new hinge for the barn door, and they decided to nurse him back to health and raise on the farm with the rest of their animals and who turned out to be a best friend and companion during all the low years when love just wasn’t goin’ their way. I guess it’s also got something to do with country fans not caring what the female performers look like because compared to their toothless haggard and obese wife they end up with, even Rusty starts to look like a natural beauty, if you know what I mean.

Either way, I think she’s moving to country because she needs something more wholesome because she’s knocked up. I ran these pictures by my expert in pregnancy, who is some slut I met at a bar who has happened to have had over 10 abortions and has been pregnant about 30 times in the last 10 years and she seems to think that Jessica is hiding something and that Tony Romo is back with her because of something and that Joe Simpson, who would normally dress her in a bikini is covering her up to look a lot more wholesome because of something.

Everything she does is a career move and that even the biggest perverts I know get thrown off when they get lap dances from pregnant strippers so as of today, she’s either trying to luring in the Christians who think she’s a tramp to buy her new album, or she’s laying the groundwork so that the Christians who can see past her being a tramp but won’t tolerate a slutty pregnant chick won’t turn on her.

So according to me and my team of one slut, Jessica Simpson is knocked up.

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|Pregnant

2008

06

Jun

Atomic Kitten Lingerie Pictures of the Day

You probably don’t know who Atomic Kitten are and that’s ok, because they are a useless UK pop band from a few years ago trying to make a comeback and looking at their lingerie shoot, all I can think about is how much better they would look with masks on. Sure they have fit bodies but their faces take anything good about having a girl half naked and throw it out the window onto a homeless man who ends up burning it in his oil drum to keep warm and cook some expired hot dogs or some shit. I know that didn’t make sense, but it did to me and that’s all that matters.

Posted in:Atomic Kitten|Lingerie

2008

06

Jun

Lindsay Lohan’s Got Some Hot Tits of the Day

I was at a friends watching TV and celebrity expert Perez Hilton was on talking about Lindsay Lohan and how she’s not a full dyke, but more of a girl in an open relationship with a girl who still hooks up with dudes on the side but keeps that shit under the radar because it will make her look bad. I figured who the fuck cares about who she’s fucking, since it’s not me, and in my life have never really paid much notice to girls who girls who aren’t fucking me are fucking because it’s frustrating. I’d rather just look at their big ol’ tits and think about them bouncing in my face instead of the face of who they are bouncing for, it’s less abusive to my self esteem that is already pretty much non-existent.

What I do know, is that Lohan has and will remain the only celebrity I would ever kick it with, but that’s just because we’re connected at the soul and you can’t really argue with destiny…

Posted in:cleavage|Lindsay Lohan|Tits

2008

06

Jun

Kathy Griffin Gives Al Roker a Shitty Lap Dance of the Day

There are girls in the world who confuse me sexually because they are so fucking repulsive, Kathy Griffin is one of those people. I don’t know why she’s ever made it this far in her career, I hear its gotta do with her comedy that other ugly girls can relate to, but whatever it is, it’s ended up on the Today Show, yesterday.

This is a video of Kathy Griffin giving Al Roker a really shitty lap dance because she claims she will do anything she can on TV in hopes of getting attention and a paycheck, she’s pretty much hanging on with a thread and to prove it makes this really lame attempt at showing the world she just doesn’t care, he life is her craft and she’ll sacrifice it all for content because without her moderate fame, she’s pretty got nothing, which was pretty clear when I stared at her tits and my penis fell off, it could have just been an unrelated coincidence, but I blame her.

Either way, her lap dance is one that I would have asked for my money back if a hot chick did that shit on me, and one that would have ended with me throwing punches if Kathy Griffin did it to me but that’s just because she looks like some kind of demon and it would have just been an act of self defensive. I hope Al Roker washes his pants, because I hear she’s a squirter, especially when it comes to making contact with real men and not the men she sees on TV with her fat vibrator in hand.

Posted in:Kathy Griffin|Lap Dance