I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

02

Jun

Linda Hogan is Fucking a 19 Year Old of the Day

Linda Hogan found a replacement for her son who is currently in jail. The only thing that is better about her new 19 year old man in her life is that she can legally have sex with him and doesn’t have to keep it behind closed doors because almost everyone outside of backwoods Tampa Florida consider fucking your family wrong, so you’re better off finding a dude the same age as your son and looks like your son with long hair because people don’t frown on you.

This is probably a way better deal for Linda Hogan than it is for homeboy, but then again maybe her disgusting old lady body and sexual experience and drive fueled by knowing her husband has a younger model of her, will actually allow him to come to terms with his homosexuality because there is no way this dude likes pussy and is probably a hired actor in some publicity stunt.

But if it’s not, that the Hogans are rich trash trash and that being rich trash makes for a good fuckin’ time, because last time I checked, I am poor trash and the woman I am barely fucking is older and fatter than me and not some 19 year old slut who is my stepdaughter and to make things worse I had to return beer bottles I found in the garbage room in the building next door to be able to afford my 3 packs of Ramen noodles for a dollar.

Posted in:Craddle Robbing|Linda Hogan

2008

02

Jun

Lindsay Lohan Fighting the Wind at the MTV Movie Awards of the Day

Lindsay Lohan was offered 1,000,000 dollars from OK magazine to announce she’s a lesbian. Call me a sell out, but I’d get a sex change and suck a dick a day for the rest of my life for 1,000,000 dollars. I figure I hate fucking my wife anyway and my penis is pretty much already a vagina and I can afford to buy expensive moist toilettes to wipe my face down when the dick is done having it’s way with me. I guess I am just cheaper than Lohan and realize that 1,000,000 dollars probably isn’t much to her, but I also don’t give a fuck about what having a sex change or sucking dick for the rest of my life does to my career, I think it’s pretty clear I have no self-respect and don’t care what you think about me.

Either way, here’s Lohan’s potentially lesbian vagina covered in a hot pair of clean black underwear exposed as she fights with the wind, who turned out to be the biggest pervert at event because I wasn’t invited because no one takes me seriously, but if I was invited, I would have definitely put on a wig and a short skirt and finger-banged her because I hear she’s into that and don’t need to give her 1,000,000 dollars to find out.

On a side note, I will pay Ellen Page 2 dollars to admit she’s a lesbian, even though I already know the answer to that.

Posted in:Awards|Lohan|MTV|Panties|Upskirt

2008

02

Jun

Marissa Miller’s Got a Hot Body at the Spike Guy’s Choice Awards

I think this Marisa Miller girl is over-rated. I can’t really figure out what it is that I don’t like about her, I’m thinking her nose got broken in one of her fitness boxing classes or some shit because something that’s going on her face is throwing me of. I know she’s got a solid fuckin’ body and she reminds me of the link between hot bikini models and pornstars but since guys like her, here she is at some Guy’s Choice award for Spike TV, which last time I checked wasn’t a real network, so their award show is pretty much irrelevant.

Posted in:Guy's Choice|Marissa Miller

2008

02

Jun

Christina Aguilera and Her Retarded Big Tits of the

I know most dudes value a chick for the size of her tits, but I am just not that kind of objectifying superficial guy, because I value chicks on other things, mainly the condition of their pussies and I know that despite Aguilera having a rockin’ set of big fake tits, I just can’t fall into her manipulative trap not only because I hate fake tits, but because I know her pussy’s not doing so well considering the whole baby thing.

I guess the other thing I like about a girl is one that doesn’t look like some kind of bleached, haggard monster with blood stained lips but that’s usually something I can look past because it’s not gay to let a transexuals suck your dick, it’s only gay if they do it with their boner in their hand.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Fake Tits

2008

02

Jun

Audrina Patridge Shows Off her Panties of the Day

So useless Audrina is showing off her panties because she’s a whore who only values herself as something with tits and a pussy and is trying so hard to be the next big thing guys want to fuck and that’s ok by me because looking at Audrina and pretty much every girl I come across, all I see is something with tits and a pussy and for the most part they aren’t half as appealing as this nothing.

Truth is that she’s made her own way from her upper-middle class home all the way to MTV where she makes her own money and has become a useless celebrity when all she ever really dreamed about or wanted was to be in Playboy and have the Bunny Stamp of approval on her fake tits and now her dream is that much closer to coming true.

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|Panties

2008

02

Jun

Kendra Wilkinson’s Got Underwear on her Head of the Day

Here’s some Kendra Wilkinson drunk with a pair of Lakers Underwear on her head, because when you are a slut and you love a team and support a team, you keep their logo next to your used up weathered pussy because it’s the only way to show your affection to that team other than offering the team a chance to get whatever diseases you’re packing but they turn you down because you aren’t hot and there are better groupies to be had, I guess it’s just not like it was in highschool for her.

Either way, I have had a few drunken experiences with panties that range from sniffing them, to taking them off passed out girls, to having sex with them when they were sitting in a laundry pile, to wearing them but for some reason no one gave a shit enough about me to take pictures and document the moment like they did for this whore.

Posted in:Kendra Wilkinson|Underwear

2008

02

Jun

Jessica Alba Has Some Pregnancy Bikini Pictures of the Day

Whenever I see Jessica Alba pregnant, all I can think of is the bear trap that is her vagina because I remember reading about how she got pregnant to trap Cash Warren into staying with her, because despite how many dudes want to get with her, she’s still a girl and being a girl makes her not realize that she’s got a ton of guys who want to get with her because all her attention is focused on the one guy who doesn’t want to be with her after already banging her. Either way,, she’s pregnant in a bikini and I know I could probably write something vulgar or maybe even funny, but why bother, I’ve pretty much given up on life, kinda like Jessica Alba will when she realizes that guys everywhere will only want to get with her now because of her fat wallet and not because of her fat, stretchmarked, gaping vagina.

Posted in:Bikini|Jessica Alba|Pregnancy

2008

02

Jun

Tatum O’Neal Gets Busted for Crack of the Day

You may not know who Tatum O’Neal is because she’s been pretty much off the map the last 20 years, but if you’re interested she was the youngest person to win an Academy Award a long time ago and claimed that when she was a child star, her famous father, Ryan O’Neal introduced her to cocaine to keep her skinny and give her the energy to work when she was 11 or some crazy shit. She was also married to John McEnroe who beat the fuck out of her according to her while she hid her major cocaine habit that all started when she was a kid and that you can’t really blame her for considering I became addicted to jerking off when I was about 10 and still haven’t managed to kick the habit, I kinda turn to it everytime I get sad like I did when I was too young to cope with the problems life threw at me and went at my dick for that moment of bliss that feels, just for a split second, like all of the world’s problems just don’t exist.

Either way, she got busted for buying crack yesterday while Yves Saint Laurent and Bo Didley were dying, and claimed shit was to research a role, which is a pretty great excuse that I tried using the time I got caught hiring a prostitute, when they didn’t believe me I just said that it was a joke and that we were staging a candid camera type gag on the cops and luckily they bought it. They didn’t buy her story though, so she then claimed that she was clean for a long time and that the cops just saved her from relapsing and thanked them and hoped to get on with her day, but they still arrested her despite her appreciation for a job well done on their part which is weird considering when you have a thankless career, you tend to get won over when someone acknowledges your hard work and you would normally let them go on with their day as you smile because it’s days like this that make you feel good about what you do and it reminds you of the the reason you got into this shit in the first place.

Posted in:Crack|Tatum O'Neal

2008

01

Jun

stepLINKS of the Day

So I just heard some girls elaborate story at a swingers party where she banged and sucked off multiple dudes and I was thinking that’d be a good place to grab a beer, not because I like watching fat dudes bang ugly chicks together, but because I think it’d be a good laugh. Instead I am sitting at home listening to my wife snore because I have no money to make real life magic, so instead I decided to make internet magic with some fake blonde exhibitionist from Australia who I know is really the FBI luring me into their trap but I like to live life as an internet predator on the wild side. I am tempted to burn down my house like I was 50 Cent trying to get rid of a burden of a woman in my life, not because I want her to die as she struggles to run down the fire escape, but because I think fires are romantic and can’t afford a fireplace. Not to mention, I’ll have no where to sleep and don’t really think the ex homeless people who managed to scrounge up enough change to pay the rent on their first home in 20 years would appreciate my antics, so instead I’ll just throw up these links.

I’ve Been Pro Global Warming Since the Start and This Video Slut Only Confirms My Support of It
GO

Some Hot Mutant Tits
GO

Jessica Simpson is a Hot Cowgirl
GO

If Britney Spears Ain’t Knocked Up, She is Just All Kinds of Fat
GO

The Top 10 HBO Topless Scenes
GO

The 50 Hottest Female Athletes of All Time
GO

Rachel Bilson May Be Pregnant in Her See Through Shirt
GO

Christina Milian Black Panty Upskirt
GO

Mary-Louise Parker is Hot in That Boring Kind of Way
GO

Real Girls Gallery
GO

Build a Firewall from a Junk PC
GO

Bouncy Japanese Tennis Slut
GO

Some Old Victoria Beckham Photoshoot Where She Looks Bangable
GO

The Month of May, as Told in Bikinis
GO

Some Girls Take a Bath Together at a Party
GO

Sarah Jessica Parker Looks Like a Horse
GO

Funny X-Ray of a 60 Year Old Man Who Survived a Buffalo Robbery
GO

Some of the Best Worst Tattoos
GO

Molly Sims Has Jacked Up Her Face
GO

Some Meagan Good Cleavage Pics
GO

Choose Any Girl You Want and Make Love to Her Without Having to Leave Your Room
GO

50 Cent Most Probably Burned Down the House His Ex Wife Was Living In and Almost Killed 6 People
GO

Steven Tyler is a Liar
GO

Eva Longoria Peep Hole Cleavage
GO

Lohan Makes Common People Move So She Can Lez out on a NY – LA Flight
GO

How Do You Say TITS in German? Anyone?
GO

Go Check Your Closest for a Squatting Ho Right Now!
GO

Teeny Bopper Jessica is Naked in Her Video
GO

Some Contortionist Broad Proves That the Possibilities are Endless
GO

Go on the Prowl This Weekend
GO

Squirt on Me!!
GO

The Office Dash!!
GO

Hayden Pantyairs at LAX
GO

More Myspace Losers
GO

Nikoletta Ralli Naked In Greek Maxim
GO

Anna Lind-Hansen from Big Brother Australia
GO

Ashley Tisdales Got Long Hair and a Short Skirt
GO

Tyra Banks was, nay is, Fat and Black
GO

Former TV Stars Arrested in Meth Lab
GO

Who Knew, Alex Trebek is Actually Pretty Funny
GO

European Lingerie Championships
GO

Playboy Babes – Twins Cassie & Kat Kellerman
GO

Make Those Dreams Come True, Get Laid
GO

The Scariest Pole Dance of All Time
GO

BONUS: Enjoy These Club Whores, Cause It’s Good To Pretend You Didn’t Stay Home Jerking Off All Weekend
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

30

May

Mila Kunis is Hot Pumping Gas of the Day

The only thing that could justify these gas prices is if Mila Kunis gave you a blowjob everytime you fill your tank.
Thanks Iraq.

Posted in:Mila Kunis