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Jessel Pena is the Instagram Of The Day

Heather Graham’s Old Flat Ass in a Bikini of the Day

Em Rata Gets Called Out for Being a Titty Whore of the Day

Brie Larson in the Great Outdoors of the Day

Sloppy Katy Perry is Rehearsing her Awkward Dances of the Day

2008

May

Joss Stone Lesbian Kiss in Some Movie of the Day

2 Comments »

I was hanging out with some man-hating girl the other day. She wasn’t a lesbian and had no interest in ever being a lesbian and claimed that she never even kissed a girl before, which I had trouble believing since every girl has kissed a girl but she was pretty convincing.

The reason she hates men is because she’s convinced that all men cheat and can’t be trusted with her vagina so instead of having sex and just livin’ in the moment, she’s got all these hang-ups and just doesn’t fuck, but does let guys buy her booze in bars that she dresses up in party dresses to go to because she hates men enough to look good for them and get attention from them.

I tried telling her that girls cheat too and got into a huge discussion of mass-generalizations about how guys get used to fuckin’ their wives and don’t venture out to fuck other girls because it takes work and we are lazy and the only time we do end up cheating is when a girl throws herself at us because we can’t say no. I went onto say that girls are the keeper of sex because they have the vagina and when they are sexual peaking in their 30s they are lookin’ for some romantic fantasy shit they masturbate too, while dudes just masturbate to porn and it’s all physical.

I went on to blame the media for making guys look out to be assholes because that’s my default argument when trying to get a man-hating woman to show me her tits. I also told her that I blame the media for me not wanting to fuck my wife because after seeing an Episode of Roseanne where the Connors make sexual references or touch each other, it makes you never want to touch a fat woman ever again, despite how easy they always are.

Either way, here’s Joss Stone on set of her new movie kissing a girl because lesbianism is in right now and I am totally down with watching it, even if I know the girls are drunk and just want attention.

BONUS – Some High Tea action of Joss Stone With Elton John on Set

Posted in:Joss Stone|Lesbian

2008

May

Tatu Naked in Their Video of the Day

5 Comments »

Tatu are those Russian pop stars from awhile ago who decided to dyke out on stage to gain popularity and escape the iron fist of communist rule. I was hanging with a couple ugly Jewish girls who I met at the bar I was at last night and the fat one seemed pretty horny. She kept talking about how she’s never eat pussy but would and then went on and on about how good she is at suckin’ dick. She was trying to piss off her ex-boyfriend by acting flirty with me. I would have never gone for it because despite not having standards, I just wasn’t feelin her desperation for cock and that coupled with her busted face and body grossed me out. It turned out that these two girls were cousins and I thought it would be funny that while in their drunken state, I made them make out with each other since they were already pretty touchy feely. They were about to bite before realizing all the levels of wrong that touched on and instead called me a sick fuck and avoided me the rest of the night.

Either way, this is their new video where one of them gets naked.

Posted in:Naked|Tatu|Video

2008

May

Girls Aloud Perform of the Day

2 Comments »

I said that Girls Aloud are useless and that no one gives a fuck about them, but after seeing this pictures I realized that I jumped the gun and didn’t realize that their performance is one that can be jerked off to.

Girls Aloud probably have one of the worst stripping acts out there, mainly because they don’t actually get naked and because they do it to the shittiest songs but the one thing they have going for them is Cheryl Tweedy Cole, who despite having the shittiest prison tattoos , she’s got it going on.

Someone told me to stay positive today, just not HIV positive because I am struggling with a horrible hangover from going to a bar that had a 50 dollar minimum for credit cards and my asshole friend only had a stolen credit card to fund our night so after the 2 beers for 2 dollars special, we each drank about 40 beers and I feel kinda dirty today, it’s not unlike other days because I always feel dirty but it’s also a Friday before a long weekend and I can only assume no one is reading this site, which is also not unlike other days, because no one every reads this site, so I guess I am just being a bitch.

Speaking of bitch, here’s my favorite UK performer performing.

Posted in:Girls Aloud|Performing

2008

May

Christina Aguilera’s Got Some Big Ol’ Tits of the Day

7 Comments »

Christina Aguilera seems to be repetitive in her dressing like a neurotic old Jewish man who owns 14 pairs of the same shoes, 10 pairs of the same jeans and 4 pairs of the same glasses because he knows what he likes. She was seen yesterday wearing the same fuckin’ dress, with the same fuckin’ tits just in a different color yesterday. I blame her husband.

The beauty of Christina Aguilera’s tits is that she got them because of insecurities. She was always less popular than Britney and she probably spent nights up in bed trying to figure out why and all she could come up with is that guys like Genie’s in a Bottle better when they are stacked. Now she probably thinks she made all of our dreams come true, while lookin’ like Pam Anderson or a porn slut that was considered hot back in the 90s than the little 16 year old hispanic girl with a voice we all wanted to fuck, when all she really had to do was release her birthing video, but that’s just because I get off to girls giving birth, since birth is the product of sex and reminds me of the success I feel after taking a huge shit after eating at a buffet.

BONUS – Christina Aguilera and her Weak Chin Showin Some Big Tits in an Animal Print Bra

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Tits

2008

May

Jordan Has Nipples of the Day

2 Comments »

It turns out that despite having her nipple taken off and put back on so many fuckin’ times, Jordan still manages to have her nipples. I was expecting some Barbie Doll tits because I just assumed those were the battle wounds from doing that to your tits so many times. You’d think those things were like a set of tires on your car that the more you drive on them, the more rundown they get, until you have to tattoo a nipple on like a cancer patient, but lookin’ at these pics of Jordan with her normal sized tits from December, her scars are a lot better than the sluts I know with who have fake tits. I guess Jordan’s got a better surgeon than they do which makes sense because when your tits are your job, you are probably better off biting the bullet and investing a little more money into them tits because I hear it’s hard to get topless work when your shits look more like an autopsy. Here is Jordan in Cannes gettin some sun. And this is my worst post of all time. I blame drinking…

Posted in:Jordan|Katie Price|Nipples

2008

May

Audrina on the Set of Her New Shitty Movie of the Day

2 Comments »

So the formula for useless slut success is pretty simple. Get fake tits, suck the right dick to end up on a shitty MTV show that for some reason is a huge success because people obviously have nothing better to do with their time. because they are even more useless than the fake tit sluts on the show.

That popularity leads to shitty movie roles like to the sequel to a Jessica Alba movie that only got an audience because Alba was in a bikini the whole fuckin’ time and the movie companies know that we’re easily manipulated. Unfortunately, the next round doesn’t have as much of a budget and they couldn’t get Alba because she’s pregnant and too expensive, so they took the next best thing, someone who wasn’t scared that a role that shitty would ruin their career but would instead think of it as an opportunity of a lifetime and that person is Audrina from the Hills.

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|Bikini

2008

May

Danielle Lloyd With Her Shitty Upskirt of the Day

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It turns out that crack ruins lives. It was only 6 months ago that this wholesome stripper/psychology student I got a lap dance from wasn’t willing to have sex with me because she wasn’t that kind of girl and that she was self proclaimed classy with self respect. I gave her my email despite knowing that no stripper has self-respect are they are all fucked up money hungry liars.

Then last night she reached out to me to go out for a drink since we’ve been corresponding because I don’t like to write my lap dancing sluts off, I’m a nice guy like that. I wasn’t going to go, because I don’t meet people off the internet, but truth is that I already felt her tits in person for 10 dollars so I felt like we had some kind of connection.

She chose some classy place so I put on my best/only stained jeans and showed up at the bar to find the most damaged and abused lookin’ girl sitting in the corner waiting for me. She’s probably barely 25 and looked like she was 40, she was twitching and smelled like cigarettes and piss and despite her trying to make herself look like the classy girl she claimed she was, I could tell that she was in a cheap dress and hadn’t slept in days. Halfway through the drink I thought she was paying for because she was a stripper and strippers are rich, she announced that she wasn’t stripping anymore. I automatically knew she was into other things because there was no way this bitch quit stripping to go back to her studies as she picked a scab off her arm and ate it. She started asking me if I knew pornstars and if I wanted to fuck her and when I said no she asked to borrow $500 to pay for a bikini wax.

Now in case you didn’t know, you have to be pretty fuckin’ desperate to ask me for 10 dollars, because I just don’t have it, so $500 is just way out of my fuckin’ league, not to mention I don’t know this bitch and I didn’t hire this bitch to fuck me, I just agreed to hang with her for lack of better things to do because my wife is boring and I knew that the last 6 months of talking to her have been a drug induced lie and I just wanted closure. When I laughed in her face, she stormed off and announced that if I am not going to give it to her she’s going to have to get it somewhere else and that’s when I asked if she was going to work the street and suck some dick in the back of a car, she said yes then gave me the finger and stormed off leaving me with the $20 bill that I happily paid for because the experience was worth it and it’s a life lesson that next time I hang with a desperate drug addicted ex-stripper, I am going to bring my camera to videotape her and my rich friend to pay her for sex while I watch.

Here’s Danielle Lloyd from the UK, who is one of those strippers who made it and who other strippers in the UK look up to because she doesn’t have to beg poor dudes for $500 to pay for the most expensive bikini wax of all time, she’s got her own money from being an acceptable mainstream slut.

Posted in:Danielle Lloyd|Upskirt

2008

May

stepLINKS of the Day

3 Comments »

I was rated number 7 blog in Montreal in some local bullshit paper that tries to be relevant because it is the only free English paper in the city. I was number 1 last year and I guess I should look at it as sign that it’s all downhill from here…this is what they wrote about me:

Goodbye sleaze. Jesus Martinezâ€™s smutblog, Drunken Stepfather has been ousted out of top place,

The truth is that Maxim featured me as the original pervarazzi website, Complex magazine featured me as a man to look out for in 2008 and they are actual international publications, not one written by people who can’t land work at international publications, who spend their nights at local bars with the scenesters in a list that is really more of a cocksuckin’ fest than anything really relevant.

Either way, I hate this city and have always hated this city so I couldn’t really expect much more out of the uselessness that lives in this city than what I got.

Here are my links:

Poll – Do You Prefer Your Chicks Fat or Skinny
GO

Paris Hilton Whores more of Her Crap in London
GO

Mariana Dimelo is a Hot Slut in Video Who Would Never Date You But Will Let You Jerk Off To Her
GO

Bar Refaeli Posing In Lingerie for Israel
GO

Britney Spears – Pregnant or Just Plain Fat?
GO

The 54 Worst Celebrity Trainwrecks Ever
GO

Some Salma Hayek Goodness
GO

Melyssa Slut on Some Skates
GO

Play Retro Game Consoles on a Big Screen
GO

Christina Milian Stuffing Her Fat Face
GO

If You Dont Use It, You’ll Lose It, so Try This
GO

Laura Vandervoot is Filming the Reef in Her Bikini
GO

Here’s an Indiana Jones Spoof Video
GO

Here’s Some New York Party Tits to Make You Feel Bad About Your Own Pathetic Life
GO

The Hottest WNBA Players of All Time if that’s Possible…
GO

On the Bright Side, Here’s Some Web Cam Whores to Have Fun With
GO

Sumo Wrestler Car Wash
GO

I Love Tits as Much as the Next Guy, But This is Ridiculous
GO

Kate Hudson Gallery
GO

7 Stupid Facial Expressions of the Vikings Cheerleaders
GO

Give Your Wrist a Break, Find Girls to Fuck
GO

Bar Rafaeli is Lookin’ Good with Fatty Israeli Tits
GO

Victoria Beckham is Saying no to Music, Thank God
GO

How Do You Say “4 Saggy Hags” in German
GO

Mel Gibson is on Vacation with Britney Spears??
GO

Winehouse Off The Hook For Crack Smoking Video, Because The British Government Wants to Teach the Young People They Can Do Anything So Long AS They Are Rich and Famous
GO

Her Body is Nice. Her Face, Not So Much
GO

More Porn Than you Can Shake Your Stick At
GO

Gay Marriage Ban Lifted in California. Congrats, Homos!
GO

Jessica and the Big Tits
GO

Amy Winehouse Kissing Pete Doherty in the Smelliest Sex of All Time
GO

NYU Held Their Graduation at Yankee Stadium – But Weren’t Allowed on the Field. One Dude Didn’t Listen…Here is the Video
GO

Some Teen Girls Flashing the Google Maps Camera
GO

Google Map Some Street Whores – Hilarious
GO

Teens Use a Human Skull as a Bong….
GO

Girls Strip Down to their Girdles
GO

Some Pics of NBA Players Drunk
GO

Some Crazy Aunt Hires a Prostitute for Her 12 Year Old Nephew
GO

Web Cam and an Automatic Rifle
GO

Crack Whore Blind Date
GO

Someything Tells Ne Hanging Out With Kim Kardashian is Worse Then Showing Your Bare Back in a Photo, But That’s Just Me
GO

Vince Vaughn Turned Down a Threesome Cuz He’d Rather Eat and Drink and Rip Lines than Fuck…It Happens.
GO

Some Hot Sluts with Big Cans
GO

Danae Gets Wet Cuz She’s a Slut
GO

Nicole Graves is Working Out and Wants You to Watch
GO

Ashley Simpson Looks Kind of Okay in Shape Magazine
GO

Posh Spice is Skinny and Hot in her Tight Pants
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Here’s Some Asian Slutting Out
GO

Some Chick in Her Underwear Showing Some Tit
GO

Some Chick Lickin’ Her Tit
GO

Some Girl Showing Off In Her Underwear
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

May

Christina Aguilera’s Got Some Solid Tits of the Day

3 Comments »

The pregnancy weight seems to be gone – but the implants aren’t. I guess that’s the deal with with implants, shits just don’t go away, you can be burried with the fuckers after you die and when some pervert digs you up to have sex with your skeleton, he’ll be pleasantly surprised that he chose the right grave and there’s more for him than just a skull to fuck and will have some tit to play with before getting off, then getting arrested and locked up for a really long time for having a really sick fetish that makes bringing your girlfriend home to meet your mother a pretty awkward and gross experience.

Either way, here’s Christina Aguilera and her fake tits busting out of her shirt, which is about as impressive as the time I paid my rent all by myself, using my wife’s money. She just doesn’t deserve any respect because anyone with 5000 dollars can make this shit happen and that’s just part of the reason I hate fake tits.

Posted in:Big Tits|Christina Aguilera

2008

May

Kourtney Kardashian’s Hotter Than Her Sister of the Day

5 Comments »

Kourtney Kardashian is the hottest Kardashian sister, which isn’t saying much since one of them is a fucking monster and the other one is fat. I guess the good news about having a fat sister is that it’s easy to be the pretty one and when you’re the pretty one – you don’t have to work as hard to get ahead, you can just ride out the fat ones fame from her sex tape without actually having to film yourself getting fucked like a whore because you have self respect and get all the positive attention you need without having to throw out your tits in hopes of getting a compliment because your daddy was too busy to give all three of you equal attention, but always managed to find time for you because you were the cute one and the other ones were too busy fighting over the oreos….

BONUS: Kim Kardashian and Her Fat Tits in Miami from Awhile Ago

Posted in:Ass|Kourtney Kardashian