I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

10

Apr

Roseanne Barr Talks About Her Vagina Surgery of the Day

So I’ve been posting these pretty disgusting clips of Whoopi Goldberg talking about menopause and how it makes her panties wet, which was surprising because the thought of Whoopi in panties makes me sick to my stomach but the thought of her in a pair of wet panties makes shit all okay because as long as a pussy is wet, I’ve got no choice but to try to stick things in it. There’s nothing less attractive than sticking your hand down a sleeping girl’s underwear to find nothing but a cold dry pussy because it makes sticking things in pretty hard and since the fucking thing is unwilling.

Anyway, Roseanne was on Craig Ferguson’s show that I am shocked actually is still on the air and she makes some vagina surgery jokes. I always just assumed that since Roseanne is fat, her massive vagina would be buried and not meaty, so I can only assume this is a joke, but if it isn’t and she’s serious about wanting to use her disgusting empty donut box, I probably wouldn’t say no. That’s not saying much about me, but it’s saying something and that something is that I am a fucking sick person.

Posted in:Roseanne Barr|Surgery|Vagina

2008

10

Apr

Mischa Barton Bikini Pictures of the Day

I was trying to start up a paparazzi agency this morning and realized that I could never pull it off. I’ve been to LA before and when there I never ran into any celebrities on the street and I didn’t see any paparazzi, nipple slips, upskirts or bikini pictures either. I figure that the only way these fuckers land pictures of the celebrity is because they are hired by the celebrity take them and since I am pretty much a nobody, there’s no way I’ll be getting calls from publicists to show up at celebrity backyards with photo equipment that I use to make look like I was hiding in the hedge to snap off the pics of them smoking in their bikinis or cuddling up to another celebrity in some staged bullshit that they want to make look as real as possible so that people start talking about them in a positive light again.

I could be wrong but that’s the only explanation I have for Mischa’s dumpy body lookin’ a whole lot less dumpy and her chillin’ on the beach in a bikini that was just happened to be caught by a photographer looks more posed than my family portrait we got done at Sears in 1995 and that hangs proudly over the hole in the wall that would have been a fireplace if my shitty apartment wasn’t a crack den.

Get a bitch in a bikini and it’ll make us all forget about her negative press because we are fuckin’ cavemen and the smell of a half naked bitch makes us forget how fuckin’ useless she is.

To prove my point that this shit’s been lit, photoshopped and taken at a better than good angle, I’m talking miracle angle that I need to have any pictures of me taken from to make me look less like a homeless person who’s been dumpster diving outside McDonald’s the last 15 years for 18 hours a day scraping up the equivalet of 30 Big Macs a day and more like some good lookin’ male model that I feel I am on the inside, look at these pics of her fat fuckin’ ass and cellulite from the other day

Posted in:Bikini|Mischa Barton

2008

10

Apr

Miley Cyrus is an Annoying Cunt of the Day

Here’s a shitty fucking introduction to a Miley Cyrus performance at some Idol Charity Event that I can only assume happened because the show had a few minutes to kill and this is the only concept they came up with last minute and figured it’d be easy to execute since Billy Crystal had nothing else to do and hasn’t had anything to do in the last 5 years.

Basically the core of this comedic genius, is that they are playing up that Billy Crystal has no idea who she is and gets her name wrong and offers her career advice in some kind of shitty irony that makes stupid people laugh. All it really did was give her a great opportunity for to brag about her accomplishments as a number 1 movie as having to 2 number one albums all by the time she’s 15. I guess this proves that she’s the number one fifteen year old cunt out there and I don’t mean that she is best 15 year old pussy out of all the 15 year old pussies, I mean that she just thinks she is and that’s the whole fuckin’ problem with this bitch. The good news is that reality has a way of taking little assholes off their thrown and I am not sure when it will happen, but know that it will and that brings me satisfaction.

Here She Is Performing Her Bad Song Badly

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2008

10

Apr

Joanie Cunningham’s Faking an Orgasm on the School Bus of the Day

Joanie Cunningham is some Happy Days cast member who I have never heard of because I wasn’t allowed to watch Happy Days growin’ up and I never had access to the reruns. I have however tried to seduce Henry WInkler’s daughter over facebook, but bitch pretty much told me to fuck off. I guess none of that matters, what does matter is that I am all too familiar with the fake orgasm since I got no skills in the bedroom and every once in a while girls I got with were motivated enough to pretend they were enjoying themselves enough to actually cum for me but I feel like it was just a trick to make me think I satisfied them and intern cum myself so that I can get the fuck off them, but truth be told, those girls were few and far between but I guess that’s only because GHB, Roofies and a alcohol poisoning puts a damper on a girl’s performing skills and kinda makes them a dead fish in bed, which never stopped me considering it was kinda like reaping the rewards of my hard work and risk taking, especially when the police asked me why I was dragging a slut out of a club by her hair and I had to be quick on my feet and come up with a good excuse, and by reaping the rewards I mean raping the rewards, but those are all just technicalities and I still got laid in the end so who cares how I made it happen.

Either way, I guess a school bus is a wild place even for washed up lesbian, man lookin’ bitches to pull off some dirty shit that makes me uncomfortable to watch but I have a thing for school buses because that’s the first place I got a girl to show me her tits, to let me finger her and to put her hand on my dick. Needless to say, I didn’t keep the job as the bus driver for too long.

Posted in:Joanie Cunningham'|Orgasm

2008

09

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

Flynet attacks again:

To Whom it May Concern,

My name is Jamie with Flynet Pictures, a photo agency located in Los Angeles, CA. We are writing you in concern to the blog drunkenstepfather.com that you host. We are asking you to shut them down immediately. We are having a continuous problem with them stealing our images on their site. They were hosted through another site before you,which did have them shut down for the illegal activity, but now that you are their new host , we are letting you know, you will be responsible for all legal fees and the amount due for this blog if you choose to remain there host. We have sent them repeated offers to work a deal out and they have refused and choose to continue using our images illegally , which is costing us money.

If you have any further questions, feel free to contact Nicolas at 323-833-7042 or nicolas@flynetpictures.com.

So now the fuckers are trying to shut me down because they claim I steal their images. The reality is that this site makes no money, I do commentary to pictures I find in forums and they never explicitly say who they belong to so I just post them. Whenever I am asked to take them down, I do immediately, even without proof of whether they actually belong to who they say they belong to because I don’t want problems. But they just keep bringing problems and now they’ve gone to my host to shut me down. I don’t know if they are going to or not, because that email is obviously not legally sound, like the time I emailed an ex girlfriend and asked her to start paying me child support because I used to suck her tit like I was her child and if she didn’t comply in 24 hours she’d be liable, but you never know. So I am posting this in the event that I get shut down, you’ll know who did it and you’ll know who to blame…..the real thief in all this is the paparazzi profiting off pictures of other people who they wrongfully and illegally take, or at least illegal enough to get me arrested the time I followed this hot bartender around for a week, snapping off pics of her in hopes of getting one worth jerking off to…

Here are my links:

Angelina is Lookin Ok for a Pregnant Chick
GO

Carla Lopez Will Help You End The Day With a Bang
GO

Live Vicariously Through the Sluts You Will Never Get to Hang Out With… Ever
GO

Candace Michelle Is a Dirty Little Slut..
GO

Some Model or Heidi Klum Falls Through the Runway
GO

Jade Jagger Upskirt
GO

A Full Gallery Of High Heels
GO

Get Into Any Club or Past Any Bouncer, Because You’re a Loser and Need This Kind of Help
GO

Because No Man is an Island and We All Need a Helping Hand
GO

A Web Cam Girlfriend is Better Than No Girlfriend At All
GO

The Creepiest Smokey the Bear Commercial Ever
GO

I Will Never Tire of Victoria’s Secret Ads Ever
GO

Ehhhhh…WTF Is Natalie Portman Dating?
GO

Kate Hudson’s Amazing Legs
GO

Let the Great Hunt Begin!
GO

You Stay Classy…
GO

Nicole Richie Lookin Good at Traffic School
GO

The Kooks – “Always Where I Need To Be (Live)”
GO

I Mean Sure, Why Not? Why Can’t a Retard Be Famous?
GO

Do NOT Mess With Chuck Norris
GO

The Hottest Chick Fight Ever
GO

Pussy Balloon
GO

Some Vintage Madonna Topless Action
GO

And You Thought Your Porn Collection Couldn’t Get Any Bigger….
GO

Friends Have Fun in the Tub
GO

Seren Gibson Looks is a Naughty College Co-Ed
GO

If Only We Could All Be Barron Hilton
GO

Super Sexy Life Savers
GO

Raven Riley is Hanging Out on a Boat
GO

Pam Anderson Got Naked For Hef’s Birthday, But She Gets Naked For Pretty Much Anyone, So Really It’s Not That Special of a Gift
GO

I Think Someone Should Off Heather Mills’ Other Leg
GO

Japan Can Make Even Billy Blanks Half Interesting
GO

And They Fight with Light Sabres Too. Is There Anything They Can’t Do?
GO

Shitney is Gonna Be The Face of Some Danish Furniture Line. Huh?
GO

Cheerleader Beatdown
GO

Life on Meth Seems Better
GO

Some Old Geri Ginger Spice Nude
GO

Some Football Player Gropes a Fat Chick and Get in Trouble for It…What a Waste…
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Chick and Her TIts and Other Good Thngs
GO

Some Girl Actin’ Slutty in her Panties
GO

Hot Chick Up Close and Personal
GO

Young Girl’s Self Shot Panty Pics
GO

Vagina Eating a Vibrator
GO

Some Chick Posing Slutty for Her Boyfriend
GO

Fat Lingerie
GO

Some Girl From the Back
GO

Some Dude’s Revenge….
GO

FROM THE FORUM

The Shins
GO

How About Some More Canadians
GO

Gomez Thread
GO

The Best Sex?
GO

Help ID This Amature Porn Actress
GO

Anal Violation
GO

More Photobucket Porn
GO

Hedgehog = Weapon
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

09

Apr

Tori Spelling Pregnant Bikini Pictures of the Day

Tori Spelling is disgusting so it’s not surprising that she’s celebrating that she’s been knocked up by running around in a bikini. It’s her way of letting us all know that some dude was willing to get up in that and that we’ve missed our window because she’s a taken women. It’s her big fuck you to everyone who ever slept with her but insisted on using a condom so that they never have to be stuck to answering to her for the rest of the kid’s life and like all pregnant girls who pull themselves away from the toilet long enough to do some kind of photoshoot, she’s showing off the battle wounds of sex, that are just going to get worse when the baby pops out of her leaving her with even less sex appeal than she had before this whole mess. Pregnancy is only a beautiful thing to the girls who are pregnant because all their friends tell them how beautiful they look while under their breath are thankful it’s not them. Not to mention, they only hang with a pregnant chicks to make themselves more appealing. It’s like how chicks hang with ugly girls to make themselves look hotter because standing next to a knocked up bitch makes any girl look skinny and desirable, because only really desperate assholes with sick festishes are horny enough to hustle a pregnant chick, so hanging with a pregnant chick is also a filter because that is the kind of guy no girl wants to mistakenly have a one night stand with unless of course she’s pregnant and wants to be naughty for a night, because it’s pretty clear that they already put out.

Here’s Tori in her bikini….

Posted in:Bikini|Pregnant|Tori Spelling

2008

09

Apr

Iliana Fischer’s Bathing Suit Pictures of the Day

Iliana Fischer is some Playboy model who is on the beach with her only friend because he never judges her for being a slut who gets naked for getting ahead and by ahead I mean make enough money to pay her rent because I’ve never heard of her so that usually means she’s pretty much just a nobody and I surprised she’s even made it into Playboy considering her body is nothing to freak out over. Sure she’s got the fake blonde hair but I’m thinking that t was because some make a wish foundation dream or something.

I like how she’s wearing some kind of University Sweatshirt, it makes her whole bullshit story while working the local strip club pole more believable. Sure you’re going to Med School sweetheart, I’m ok way grabbing your tits in exchange for 10 dollars you can put towards your “tuition” and by tuition I mean up her nose, because you’ve gotta be on drugs to be this kind of women at least that’s what I’ve learned throughout my worldly travels to the local strip club.

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Dog|Iliana Fischer

2008

09

Apr

Clay Aiken Gay Sex Pose of the Day

Here are some pictures that you can use to get off to if you have enough computer skills to turn shit into an animated gif and if you get turned on by red haired freaks with angelic voices. These are some pictures of Gay Clay in some prison rape stance making some prison rape facial expressions even though motherfucker hasn’t officially come out of the closet. I am the kind of guy who can never tell if the dude I am having a beer with is into gay sex but that’s just because I am pretty unattractive and even the horniest blue balled fag wouldn’t get with me, so the sexual tension is never really there. I am also the kind of guy who goes to gay bars accidentally with my friends who all end up getting assaulted in the bathroom while motherfuckers steer clear of me like I have AIDS and I’m trying to rain on their gay pride parade, so I have no real idea whether Aiken is actually aching from being a bottom, but I’ll say that I wouldn’t put it past him and not just because he likes singing more than the average man does and that in and of itself is pretty fucking gay.

Posted in:Clay Aiken|Gay

2008

09

Apr

Sophie Monk’s Got No Bra and Hard Nipples of the Day

I think posting Sophie Monk is my way of rubbing shit in Benjo Madden’s face because I think she’s hot and he’s onto some sewage treatment plant of a vagina that he found in Paris Hilton. I know the whole expression we used to drop back in the day that even Cindy Crawford’s husband gets bored of her and seeks new vagina, back when Cindy Crawford was the hottest model out there, but I still think going from this to Paris is some kind of twisted shit. I guess Paris is more experienced sexually, and that sometimes means that bitch is better in bed and can do things to him that a regular unslutty chick can’t, but I know that every slut that I’ve ever got with has been pretty shitty in bed and the reason they are sluts in the first place. Pretty much no guy ever stuck around with them long enough for them to really experiment and there sex may be with many people, but it’s been bad sex with many people. Where as a girl who just gets out of a long term relationship is all about licking your asshole and letting you fuck her without a condom because that’s all she really knows.

I guess what it all comes down to is that that best sex Madden has ever had was when he was in the womb suckin off his twin brother that they caught on ultrasound, and for him his life will be a constant journey to find that innocent first love again…..and unfortunately for him he’s lookin’ in all the wrong places, but at least he can get a cheesy mall tattoo to commemorate the journey.

Here’s Sophie Monk with no bra and hard nipples you perverts…

Posted in:Nipples|Sophie Monk|Tits|Uncategorized

2008

09

Apr

Jessica Simpson’s Nipples Do Esquire of the Day

Jessica Simpson is in Esquire and I am not down with the way she’s aging, not sure why but I feel like everyday she looks more and more like a dude. The good news is that she’s got some tits and those tits have hard nipples and I guess that compensates for her pro-athlete lookin’ face.

I was watching some Carson Daly shit last night at a girl I met at Starbucks’ house and Perez Hilton was on talking about how he was making out with John Mayer while Jessica was rubbing Mayer’s crotch. Now I don’t care for Perez or his gay stories with singer/song writing homos who aren’t out of the closet with their homosexuality, but the fact that he’s doing gay shit isn’t a testament to how shitty Jessica is in bed, it’s just proof that bitch looks enough like a dude to attract dudes who are on the fence with their sexuality. She’s the kind of girl down with male-male-female threesomes for her sexually confused boyfriend and that makes her someone you’d probably like to get to know because your theory is that as long as there’s a chick in the room with you and another naked erect man, you’re in the clear and don’t have to come out to your family.

More proof that bitch attracts closet cases is that she’s dating a football quarterback. Football may be the most abusive sport out there with men tackling men in spandex who all go to the locker room to shower together when the games over, but it sounds a whole lot like a gay porno storyline to me and if you were a closet cased homo in highschool, you’d probably be more drawn to that extra curricular activity than starting a band to lure all the slutty girls into your basement with….

I guess my theories don’t matter, just look at the pics.

Posted in:Esquire|Jessica Simpson|Nipples