Boring as Fuck…..
Posted in:Bikini|Boring|Penelope Cruz
- SFW
- NSFW(18+)
2008
21
Mar
Penelope Cruz Boring Bikini Pictures of the Day
2008
21
Mar
Lauren Conrad Grabs Her Tit of the Day
So Lauren Conrad’s not famous and either are her tits. She’s not like her reality star friends, who aren’t even reality stars because shit is scripted harder than my prescription pill popping friend, but reality stars because MTV wants you to think it’s real because that makes it more exciting to watch. Either way, she’s bending over and giving your ass a peek at some tit, which brings back memories of every time you leave your house, because you are a pervert and scope out everyone around you out so hard, hoping just one of them will be a woman slippin up with her low cut shirt bending over to pick up her purse, or her lipstick that she dropped so that you have something to jerk off to later and the good news is that you won’t get caught like I always seem to be every time I get caught checking out a girl, but that’s usually because I am hiding in their closet and can’t seem to hold myself back from jumping into the bath or in bed with them when they least expect it. It turns out that not everybody likes a good surprise and that’s all I have to say about that.
Posted in:Grab|Lauren Conrad|Tit
2008
21
Mar
Kim Kadashian’s got a Fat Ass of the Day
The Friday Guessing game of the day is what size jeans Kim Kardashian wears. I am going with a size 32, which may not sound too big if you’re a dude and buying a new pair of Dockers for the company picnic, but women are a size 27 on average, proving my point that she’s fat, by not proving anything because I have no idea what her actual size is, I am just speculating because this girl has a fat ass and needs to stop being the useless lazy whore I saw in her sex tape and start being a little more active, since obesity is the number one killer today and if the rest of her body follow her asses lead, she’s in for a mess, I’m just trying to save her. I’m a hero like that.
Just the other day I saw a girl frantically searching for a tampon because she didn’t have one and we weren’t near any stores and she had no money on her even if there were stores near by. So, I offered her my penis, mouth and fingers to help her out, sure they aren’t absorbent, but I figure if you’re going to stick anything in your vagina it might as well be me. She ended up agreeing to taking my dirty sock, because I guess she thought it was better than nothing. In the next 4-6 weeks, she’ll realize that it definitely was the wrong choice because lets face it, I am not the most hygienic and even my feet try to keep me from wearing socks with all the scabs, blisters and rashes and god only knows if any of those are contagious…..
Posted in:Ass|Fat|Kim Kardashian
2008
21
Mar
Vanessa Hudgens’ Ass Crack at the Airport of the Day
The good news for you guys is that Vanessa Hudgens dates fags and since you’re pretty much as big a fag as they come, that should give you hope, because I know that you still like girls deep down inside, they are just so much less willing to have sex with you than a barebackin’ bear in the bathouse who pretty much has no standards and a raging boner.
Either way, this is her ass crack at the airport and I am not sure where she’s going, but I wish I did so that I could let you know so that you can go hang outside her hotel room and make her sing your dick just because he’s a huge fan of her work and High School Musical changed your life by making you want to go back to High School but only if you could do it in song.
I don’t know why I am posting these since seeing ass crack makes me think of fat men in jeans that are a couple sizes too small but haven’t accepted that they are fat fucks yet and insist on wearing them and not of the gateway to a young, willing 18 year old nude model/actress/singer triple threat in no panties because just a few inches away is her box. But that’s just because I don’t find Hudgens anything special, she looks like a monkey and I’d still let her throw feces at me from her cage while I jerk off, but that’s pretty much it. I may not have standards but I don’t do beastiality….
Posted in:Ass|Crack|Vanessa Hudgens
2008
21
Mar
Katie Price Jordan in a See Through Beater With Her New Tits of the Day
Jordan has a new set of tits and these are them. They still look retardedly fake but they are just a lot smaller than her ridiculous sized tits but still ridiculous sized compared to the rest of the fucking world. She’s not wearing a bra because she’s put so much money into her tits that
In these pictures and I saw some nipple, not that it really impressed me because nipples don’t really impress me and it’s not like seeing nipple I want to see, it’s more like nipple I’ve already seen before more than enough times. What does impress me is what her nipples say about modern science because it is amazing that she’s still got nipples, You’d think those fuckers would have got pretty beat up along their journey living on Jordan’s tit. It’s probably a little more exciting than the life of other nipples who only have stories of being sucked or played with, while Jordan’s nipples are like the Christopher Columbus or First Man on the Moon of nipples, nipples that other nipples tell stories about at dinner and ask for autographs from when they meet them because they just don’t believe all the mystical stories until actually being areola to areola with them….
Either way, it’s good to know that money is being put into breast augmentation research when people are dying of serious terminal illness. It’s nice to see people have their priorities straight while driving their luxury cars and floating around in their infinity pools before spending the day at the spa and shopping for 800 dollar hand cream. Assholes.]
Posted in:Jordan|Katie Price
2008
21
Mar
Hilary Duff Showing Off Her Tits of the Day
Here’s some stuff by Hilary Duff and by stuff I mean tits. Look down Hilary Duff’s shirt because it’s the closest you’ll ever get to her which is too bad because based on her tits – it looks like she’s on the pill and you know what they say about girls on the pill, they let you bang them without a condom and they can’t get pregnant…but after seeing what happened to Britney, I can be pretty sure she’s now one of those lame girls who you date all year hoping to just get a chance to bang her without a rubber but she always insists on using one, even though she’s on the pill and even after you’ve been tested for STDs numerous times which was never really an issue since you’re a virgin but you can never be too safe, plus that chick you wanted to bang worked at the clinic and you wanted her to think you were massively experienced.
BONUS – Some Hilary Duff Lookin’ Hot in Fishnets from the Other Day
Posted in:cleavage|Hilary Duff
2008
21
Mar
stepLINKS of the Day
I just got a very threatening lawyer’s letter that basically stated that Kristin Davis is experiencing extreme emotional trauma that these nude pictures that aren’t of her are circulating the internet and that I am defaming her character and using her to increase the traffic to my site, despite the fact that the lady who sells beer and cigarettes down the street from me being more famous and more interesting the Kristin Davis…..
I am not allowed to post the lawyers letter here, because I assume Kristen Davis doesn’t want the media to know how much of a baby she is because she let some dude take pictures of him inside her in 1992 and I think she should just appreciate the attention she’s getting because t may lead to better roles…Either way, this was my response.
Dear Big Bad Lawyer Man,
In response to your lawyers letter – I do not claim that the pictures are in fact of Kristin Davis, others websites have said that it is her, not me. I don’t even know who Kristin Davis is, because unlike you and every lonely 30 something single woman lookin’ for hope, I don’t watch Sex in the City re-runs while eating popcorn alone on a friday night, I try to get out and get girls to have Sex in the City on my face.
I do not have any advertisers and I do make money with the site or use these pictures to increase traffic to my website, because let’s face it Kristin Davis isn’t that much of a traffic draw, because being a second rate character on a shitty TV show doesn’t make anyone relevant in my books. I guess she thinks she is more important than the rest of us do and that is why she is taking this kind of action….It must be nice to have more money than you know what to do with, so that you can run after and try to stomp out the little guy because you let some dude take pictures of your pussy.
I honestly think that it is hardly my fault that her sexual practices are of this exhibitionist nature and would suggest she seeks some kind of therapy for her deviance and depravity. In my mind, these pictures are strictly a news item of a public figure, and I use that term loosely, unfortunately not as loose as her nasty vagina looks. I offer satirical commentary and use my right of freedom of speech to express that commentary, I thought that was the American way and I am just a poor Mexican trying to fit into this mean scary world that Kristin Davis is learning to come to terms with too. We have so much in common.
However if removing these pictures is what you are going for, I will have no issue taking them down because in all honesty – they aren’t very attractive and I completely understand why this would cause emotional distress anyone exposed to these images as well as to the person starring in these pictures. Seriously. I know a good plastic surgeon who does reconstructive work on vaginas and I could put her in touch because that thing is meaty and black and that’s something someone’s got to look at, idealy not me because I tried and I think it turned me gay.
Love
Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com
Here is the Lohan Sex Tape Scandal Update:
Here’s the Lohan Sex Tape Video from the Screen Cap I Posted Earlier
GO
But People are Saying it’s Not Her….
GO
Here are my links…
Kate Moss is Rejoicing that Jim Morrison is Dead and Was Caught Dancing on His Grave
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All The Glory that are Daisy Dukes
GO
Learn to Dance, So Maybe Black People Will Like You
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Sarah Jessica Parker is the Unsexiest
GO
And Now, a Little Dancing with the Stars Nipple Action
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MOre Girls You Never Get to Talk to Ever
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Brazilian Babe Wrestling Video
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How NOT to Rob a Bank
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Avoid Carpel Tunnel Syndrome by Getting Laid Tonight
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Toilet Bowl Love
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Free Beer With Every Wedding. If Thats Not Reason Enough to Get Married, I Dunno What Is
GO
Getting Laid in REAL Life is Even Better then in the Movies
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Kourtney Kardashian = Boners
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Madonna Goes to the Gym to Work OUt Her Boney Ass
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Steve-O’s Mom Used to Put Booze in His Baby Bottle and Lied About Having Cancer
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Vanessa Hudgens is Hott and I Hope More Nudes Surface Soon
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Stone Cold Steve Austin is Still Alive??
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Sex is Even More Fun When There’s a Women Involvedm and Thats a Fact
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Carnie Wilson Talks About Being a Fat Whore
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Check Out the Hottest Spring Break Bikini Pictures…
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Here’s a Hip Hop Mix By a Reader for You To Listen To
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Oprah Gained 100 Pounds and I Still Fuck Her
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Some Hot Myspace pics of Some Slut Named Daniela Pane
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Here are the 20 Worst Celebrity Tattoos
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Her Name is Sarah Shahi and She’s Fucking Hot
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Top 10 Topless Prostitutes in Movies
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Some Paparazzi Sues X17 – Nice
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An Amazing Bathroom Stink Bomb Prank
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Pete Wentz is a Cross Dresser and Molests Children Through Song…
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Get the Green Lights Everytime You Drive
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This is What Happens When You Wear a Skrit
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Girlfriend Feels Like a Whore, and She Should
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I Can’t Spell This Chicks Name, But She’s Wearing a Bikini
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More Porn than You’ll Know What to Do with. That’s Alot
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And Now, an Armless DJ
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Kristen Cavalarri vs Lauren Conrad – Let the Games Begin
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Ashley Simpsons Trout Mouth
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Remote Control Women, Now Were Talking
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Jewno – The Alternate Version
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Let’s Ghost Ride a TANK!!
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I Don’t Know Where Jewel Have Been but She’s Lookin Hot
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Fun with Lego, Because You Live at Home and Still Play with Toys
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The Whores Next Door Are Eating Ice Cream
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Petra Nemcova is Wearing Lingerie
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You Stay Classy Baby
GO
FROM PHOTOBUCKET
Some Asian Lookin’ Tits
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FROM THE FORUM
Paradise Lost
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Waste Your Day with These Cartoon Flash Games
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One of the Whores From Rock of Love 2
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Paris Hilton’s Ass
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The Garage Door Mishap
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Twin Sisters Angel and Ashley Long
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Tania is a Lovely Teen
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The Teenagers – Reality Check
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Fat Joe – Elephant in the Room
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Christina Aguilera – Back to Basics
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Method Man – 4:21 Day After
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Van Morrison – TB Sheets
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Cheech and Chong – Sleeping Beauty
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Random amateurs
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Jared might be gay
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We love Oreos
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Monkey that sucks dicks
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Blogging for Dummies…a Book I Should Have Written because I am Dumb…
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The Sexual Key
GO
Posted in:stepLINKS
2008
20
Mar
Look Down Kristin Cavallari’s Shirt of the Day
Yesterday I got an email saying that Kristin Cavallari was suckin’ dick at 13 and today I got one that said:
Dear Jesus,
I read that post on Kristin Cavallari and her dick sucking in camp, I just wanted to let you know that I was one of the guys she sucked off at 13….that’s right…one of the guys. We used to all use her mouth as our own fucking masturbation tool, fuck using a hand when you have a willing girl with her mouth wide open. It made circle jerks so much fuckin’ better, because instead of cumming on the cracker, we’d just all cum in her mouth and the loser would have to snowball the bitch.
There was this one time I had her back of the head in my hand and I was just fuckin’ the shit out of her face and she slid her finger in my ass. At first I thought it was one of my camp buddies getting a little too close for comfort but then I realized it was Cavallari….now at 13 getting your ass fingered is some next level shit that only someone who had been molested would know how to do…so my theory is that she was molested but it was all worth it because she was phenomenal. The best I’ve ever had…oh and she’s a total squirter.
Take it easy man.
J.
That was kinda disturbing and I am going to assume that it’s not true……
Posted in:Kristin Cavallari
2008
20
Mar
Tara Reid is a Spring Break Mess of the Day
I wonder what the Cancun Airport smells like when the Spring Break week is over and all the college whores head back to their normal lives. I am thinking like stale beer, cigarettes, cum and aids….a lot like Tara Reid’s vagina.
These are some pictures of our All American Sweetheart arriving in LA after her Cancun party weekend, reliving the last 10 years of her life, since she’s always on fuckin’ Spring Break all year round and she doesn’t even go to school or work because spring break is her job. The bad news is that shit is catching up to her as her face slowly falls off her body…the good news is that all those fees she charges to show up to your party can cover the cost of plastic surgery. I say she’s got another solid 10 years in her before she’s gotta hang up the bikini and sleep it off because this bitch is stamina.
Posted in:Mess|Spring Break|Tara Reid
