When looking for shit to post today – I came across this picture of Nicole Schrezinger’s barely there nipple in her video and this funny post alongside:
If you think it’s photoshopped, download the video. Skip through the frames at around 3:31.
It reminded me of what I assume the 5 of you are like. You rent movies because they have a nudity warning and when that nude scene hits you pause the shit and when the DVD was invented you got fucking excited because of the zoom feature allowing you to focus right in on the nipple or ass on the screen. You are the kind of guy who saves every bikini, topless, nipple slip, upskirt picture you can find of celebrities and even have a folder on your hard drive called “Celebrity Porn” where you have each picture cataloged by date it hit the internet. When you meet up with your other virgin friends, you all talk about girls and what sex would be like and which celebrity you would marry if you ever met them, assuming that they’d totally see past your lameness and just on your dick, because I guess that’s what fantasies are for and when you’re done trading your notes on what movies and what timecode in the movie the best nude/ hard nipple/ tight pant/ short skirt scene hits, you’re at the comic book store wondering what it would be like to fuck a cartoon. You are weird, you are a collector, you like videogames and you are my only fan.
I’d like to thank you for that with this Nicole Schrezinger Nipple at frames that start at 3:31 in her video…You’re welcome for making your day today an easier one…..Cuddles.
Download the Video – Whatever U Like featuring TI – If You Want It. GO
When looking for shit to post today – I came across this picture of Nicole Schrezinger’s barely there nipple in her video and this funny post alongside:
If you think it’s photoshopped, download the video. Skip through the frames at around 3:31.
It reminded me of what I assume the 5 of you are like. You rent movies because they have a nudity warning and when that nude scene hits you pause the shit and when the DVD was invented you got fucking excited because of the zoom feature allowing you to focus right in on the nipple or ass on the screen. You are the kind of guy who saves every bikini, topless, nipple slip, upskirt picture you can find of celebrities and even have a folder on your hard drive called “Celebrity Porn” where you have each picture cataloged by date it hit the internet. When you meet up with your other virgin friends, you all talk about girls and what sex would be like and which celebrity you would marry if you ever met them, assuming that they’d totally see past your lameness and just on your dick, because I guess that’s what fantasies are for and when you’re done trading your notes on what movies and what timecode in the movie the best nude/ hard nipple/ tight pant/ short skirt scene hits, you’re at the comic book store wondering what it would be like to fuck a cartoon. You are weird, you are a collector, you like videogames and you are my only fan.
I’d like to thank you for that with this Nicole Schrezinger Nipple at frames that start at 3:31 in her video…You’re welcome for making your day today an easier one…..Cuddles.
Download the Video – Whatever U Like featuring TI – If You Want It. GO
There’s a viral video going around the internet and it’s pretty much one of those comedy songs I find lame, set to a video of Lohan or someone who is supposed to be Lohan. Since I love Lohan and do everything I can to get closer to her, I hunted down the girl who played her in the video and she agreed to doing a stepINTERVIEW with me. It was an amazing experience that I may never forget until I get drunk and a new girl who plays Lohan comes along, but in the meantime, I want to make this girl as famous as I can…because I love her.
Here’s the interview….
So you play Lohan in this viral video I saw and decided that I had to interview you, so the question that’s been on my mind for the last week is how did you prepare for the role as Lohan? Did it involve a lot of drinking, drug use and unprotected sex?
I did not take on this role to bash poor Linds, absolutely not! I simply emulated many of her mannerisms and that’s as far as the prep went, thanks. I just figured the more glamorous (yet sexy) with elements of humor, the more tasteful the video would turn out. The minute it crossed the line on being mean or harsh to get a cheap laugh, the video would be trash…but that never happened, yay!
I actually like her a lot and really hope she gets healthy. I think she is a very talented actress (people forget she played 2 characters in a movie at 12 yrs old, talent) BUT at the end of the day, SAD STORY:(
All of these beautiful young starletts are throwing amazing careers away because drugs and alcohol control their lives, leaving them lost and unstable. It’s not our place to pass judgement & it doesn’t make these poor girls bad, wrong, insane, or stupid…they just need HELP, its just SAD.
LFL is a little on the BOLD side with some of the honest statements about Lindsay, but it is a parody, comedy…just laugh, or not. For those who know me it’s hilarious because the true goof in me really shines through!
What can you tell us about Lohan that we don’t already know, since you’ve played her on the internet I can only assume you’re an expert.
Nope, not an expert…
What does she smell like?
No Comment
Are you comfortable with guys jerking off to you as Lohan?
OMG gross…Okay, this is a comedy boys, where I’m being an absolute nerd…if that get’s dudes off, eew weird! Oh wait, I forgot about the part where I dance in a bra and underwear, oh yeah…but still eeeew! I appreciate all the fans, feedback and love but old, perverted men overly commenting me on myspace or wherever really just gross me out….sorry, hope I haven’t offended anyone;)
All my readers are virgins but, isn’t that kind of like if your boyfriend put a Richard Nixon mask on you while you bang because it’s the only way he can get off…instead of getting of to the Chauntal we all know and love?
No Comment
Tell us a bit about yourself:
Acting/dancing/singing all my life…I’m a performer, that’s what I do! And I have the most amazing family & friends anyone could ask for. I am truly blessed…so grateful!
Where are you from?
OXNARD, CA whattttt?!
How did you get the part in the Lohan Video?
Ummm some people think I look like her or something HA. No really, I get told I look like her like everyday it’s ridiculous. Don’t think so myself, but whatever. Ultimately, I just kind of nailed the audition process.
Why is your body so tight, do you work out a lot?
I am a dancer, particularly modern day cabaret and hip hop..Yeppp I love my hiphop, that’s the Oxnard in me! That’s how I keep the bod in shape, or “so tight” excuse me. I love hiking also, it’s very theraputic. Good to get away from everyone and just get a sense of mental clarity.
Do you have a boyfriend?
BOYFRIEND??? Shall I say it? Nope, very single and…not really lookin. I like the place I’m at right now. The next guy I decide will be my boyfriend will be the guy I see myself marrying. So what’s that mean, I’m picky? I guess so. Otherwise what’s really the point, you unhappy couples. I’ll wait thanks…I really enjoy my own company & SIs is like my best friend and I have the most amazing group of girls, so I have more than enough love runnin through my life. I am so busy right now, dudes are kinda irrelavent anyway, unless he’s super hot and sweeps me off my feet!;)
I must say though, I am quite attracted to the dangerous type but with a wise mind and sincere heart. Hahaaa does that even exist? But don’t quote me on that, you can never generalize & I change my mind a lot… ooops…
What about washed up fat mexicans with no job and who hate showering, come on baby, tell me what do you let your boyfriend do to you, if you had a boyfriend, that you won’t let me do to you?
No Comment
I think what I was getting at, is would you meet a dude from the internet?
NEVER…I definitely don’t have a problem meeting dudes, in real life;)
Do you think it’s easier to get an STD from someone you meet online or someone you meet in a club?
Clubs are gross, and the guys online trying to hit on me are the same idiots at the clubs looking to get lucky…bar, strip club, myspace, it’s all the same to them…so either way they all most likely have STDs…”Go Away!”
My readers never leave their mom’s basement, so do you ever go to parks to meet men who promise to buy you candy on the internet? Or are you too old for that?
No Comment
What would I have to do to convince you to send me nude pics?
AHahaaa go ahead, try finding some but nude pics of me do not exist…never will, trashy. Maybe like Rolling Stones but most nude mags are cheeeeseball!
I kinda like nude pics and take offense to that….What do you have to say to your many, many fans reading on drunkenstepfather.com? All 5 of us are dying to know what can we expect from you in the months to come? Can we expect a Lohan Stage Act?
There a few project in the works right now…I’ve been on overload since the LFL video, crazy! However, you probably won’t be seeing any more Lindsay stuff from me, other than interviews on LFL. I am an actress/performer, working on all different types of projects, not a LiLo lookalike. And I do love comedy more than anything so I hope I can continue to humor you throughout my career. As of right now, music is a main focus.
Would you sleep with me if I could promise you stardom?
No Comment
Too bad my penis doesn’t work and you are already more famous than me….I think I am in love. Cuddles.
Heres the Video:
Here are some pics:
You can find out more about Chauntal, the girl who played Lohan in the viral video at Chuantal.com – Check Her Out….
I walked in on my younger stepdaughter topless and in a pair of hot pink barely there underwear earlier tonight. I have been feeling pretty awkward about the whole thing and haven’t really been able to look her in the face because now I officially know exactly what her tits and ass look like. I wa always convinced that this would be a great day in my life, and don’t get me wrong it was pretty amazing and really drove home the fact that I want naked girls around me at all times, but I guess the fact that I’ve known her so long and have watched her grow up just made it all wrong. It’s one of those theory is better than practice things….
I am going to the motherfucking top. Some dude sent me in this video of some dude talking celebrity gossip, and they sourced my site for the pics. Reality is I didn’t take the motherfucking pics but I am happy someone is ripping off this site. It makes me feel special…Watch his clip:
The Sean O’Donnell Show – Some Dude Talkin’ Celeb Gossip GO
This Was Emailed To Me – It’s Some Blogger Award. I have 8 Votes. Perez Has 1000. Put Me on the Map GO
Beth Ditto Panty Upskirt That Makes her Number 1 Lookin’ Good Sweetheart to Me GO
A Little Nerd Sex Video at the GenCon that is Hysterical… GO
I realized today that my life is lacking something and that something is a little more Amy Winehouse in a bikini, thank god my dreams were answered, so that I can go on another day like Owen Wilson.
I don’t know what it is about crackheads that are half naked and wet, because it’s something you can see pretty much any downtown strip, but knowing that Winehouse has boatloads of money makes shit a lot more exciting. Poor addicts are played out.
There’s also something exciting about an emaciated crackhead like the fact that their heads look massively huge and I love horses, they are classy and the fact that her uterus is already hanging halfway out her box, all you gotta do is throw your load at her and hope some sticks, if you’re trying to K-Fed her and that’s a lot easier than those frigid bitches with tight pussies and internal reproductive organs…who probably wear underwear and don’t put out.
I just noticed her top is see through, and crackhead nipples are way cooler than any non-crackhead nipple because all you gotta do is wave 5 dollars in front of their noses to get a piece instead of actually having to talk to a slut…Try to prove me wrong asshole.
Since my stepdaughter hasn’t shown up in the last 4 days and has been writing posts from god knows where, I am forced to put up these posts from her gay friend Julien. Now I generally try to stay as far away from fags as I can, not because I am scared they are going to try to fuck me, even the horniest fag won’t hit on me, I just don’t have what it takes and I remember once feeling depressed about that, thinking shit, I must be pretty fucking ugly for a fag not to try to get with me, when fags pretty much fuck anything that walk, but then realized that it’s a good thing..and the reason I stay away from fags is not because of the annoying twang in their voice or annoying light on their feet strut, it is because AIDS is the gay disease and I’ll never forgive them for that….
Since all the blogs with gay writers are making huge money, I am jumping on the bandwagon and hoping the queers out there eventually flock to this site and bring your fag hags with you because that’s when I’ll know that I’ve made it.
Here’s what Julien had to say:
The thing I like about trannies and their boobs is that they know their boob’s aren’t real, they have no problem or hang ups about showing them off. A few years ago I was really good friends with this trannie and she would always wear REALLY low cut shirts and she never wore a bra. After she had a few drinks in her she would go up to guys and start yanking down her shirt and play with her boobs. Because for her, he boobs were nothing more than augmented skin with some silicon stuffed inside. Well this one time she and I were walking down the street and she flashes some guy walking by and this woman runs up to her and starts yelling at her, saying things like “You should have some self-respect� and “You don’t need to show your breasts to get attention�. I thought that was pretty funny because my tranny friend was not passable at all. I mean infants and dogs could tell that she used to be a man. But here was this woman yelling at her about how women need to have respect about their breasts.
Now I don’t really know how this story links to these pics of Tera Patrick. I don’t know who Tera Patrick is. But I’m assuming she some sort of tranny because only a tranny would be showing off her boobs like that.
P.S. I was trying to think of something to write about her dumbass sparkly Hello Kitty necklace, but I couldn’t come up with anything good. So let’s pretend that I wrote something really bitchy. Ok?
No matter how hot Hilary Swank ever looks all I can ever remember about her is that she played a girl pretending to be a guy in that stupid movie Boys Don’t Cry, and forgot to mention her husband in her Oscar acceptance speech, which is probably why he divorced her. You tell yourself that being attracted to girls that dress up as guys isn’t as gay as just being attracted to guys, which is wrong, but if thats what you need to tell yourself to get through the day, thats fine. Homo.
I freaked out a roomful of people the other night at a party when I said I wouldn’t turn down having sex with a Male to Female tranny, and that the idea of fucking a chick with a dick was actually really appealing to me. The minute a person has a vagina, it turns them into a catty, whiney fuck (and I know this because I have one), and I figured having the dick there avoids that, and the tits add to the overall play factor during sex. But I’m not gay, I’m just Kinky.
I guess I’m pretty lucky. As a women, me being interested in this type of thing makes me “open minded” but when someone like you is into that type of thing, it makes you a fag.
2 years ago I got this really cushy gig working coat check at one of the large after hours clubs in the Gay Village here in Montreal. The great things about gigs like that is you basically get paid to listen to good music, talk to cool people and get fucked up all night. You also get to know a slew of regular clients which is nice, but you also end up seeing them in all sorts of weird situations, which when you are underage and working in a bar is pretty fucked, you know??
So there was this regular club girl that came there all the time with her older, greasy boyfriend, who looked like a slimmer version of Brandon Davis, only with a beard. This chick was an eleven out of ten, for real. Nice implants thats didn’t look too fake, long blonde hair, and a nice tan that didn’t make her look like a Jewish house wife. She was always really nice to me and talked to me alot and over time we got to know each other fairly well, and she would always tip me great at the end of the night.
So this one time I was on my break, and I went to the upstairs bathroom to do a few bumps cause it was always way less busy in that bathroom. The last stall door looked a bit open, so I headed for that one to get some privacy. As I pushed open the door, who I do see, but this chick and her man. The chick is standing on the toilet, with her skirt and panties around her ankles, the guy is down on his knees with a pen in his mouth, and he is blowing what I can only assume is cocaine directly up her ass. Now you have to understand that this was about 2 years ago and I was only beginning my decent into drugs and sexual deviance, and at the time, it scared the shit out of me. I bolted out of the bathroom and went back to work. She came to get her coat at the end of the night and I gave it to her without even looking up. Things were horribly awkward ever ytime I saw her after that, but she seemed to tip me even better, so it was like whatever, you know?
Here’s Aria Giovanni. She looks like the type of gal who would let you blow coke up her ass and then fuck her all night, if you weren’t a fat virgin who still lived at home.
I don’t know when these were taken, but they seem to be doing the internet rounds today and being the slowest fucking blog to update, I figured I might as well post them. Her name is Danielle Lloyd, she’s pretty much useless unless you sell bikinis, because she is always in fucking bikinis and because I don’t know who she is, but then again I have no idea who anyone is, I also had no idea that Owen Wilson tried to kill himself yesterday, I had no idea that Carmen Electra was white, and I think I started feeling the anxiety of being a total hack, or like that the pressure was on or some shit because I ended up dreaming that I was at some party with all the other bloggers and no one would talk to me, I would just sit there getting wasted and yelling at random people as they passed by while a group of guys in the other room sat and played nintendo and guitar. It was the closest thing I had to a gay dream in years, there were no girls, just blown up laminated posters of some of their most famous posts, like the Jessica Alba bikini ass on all fours picture and shit.
Either way, I am a hack, I am just waking up, this is Danielle Lloyd and I am not a gay blogger, and if I was invited to one of their get-togethers which I wouldn’t be, because they don’t consider me one of them, I wouldn’t go, and if I did go, I’d bring a crackwhore to piss randomly in random placed when I got bored, on demand, ideally a stinky fucking pee on the couch just to scare the virgins a bit.
So the life lesson is that I will not take a night off of drinking and I will keep ripping off other blogs so that they continue hating me…so that I don’t become one of them…
I was out walking today behind what I thought was a really, really fat white women, with those long braid extentions in her hair that the black girls who used to kick my ass in school used to have. They were really long and down to her ass, but also really ratty looking. I started to imagine what her white trash house looked like on the inside, and her 6 snot nosed kids eating Raman noodles on the living floor and kinda felt good about my life for a few minutes.
I was spaced out and didn’t notice her stop and bumped into her, but when I turned around, she was not a she, but was in fact a he, wearing a pair of ninties style Oakleys with a full beard. Now I could tell this guy was no faggot, he just had hair like a faggot, and I can’t figure out why. Nor could I figure out why he would want to sit and have his hair braided for five fucking hours like a Jewish Girl on Vacation either.
So be careful, cause you never know when the lady you’re staring it is going to be a guy. Unless that’s you thing, which wouldn’t surprise me, homo.
