DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

27

Aug

I am – Kylie Minogue's Cleavage in a Kite of the Day

You all know the story, I realized that gay bloggers get all the fame and glory on the internet. That girls flock to them and that they can get away with saying a lot ruder and racier shit than I can so asked my stepdaughter to hook up her gay friend for the job, that isn’t really a job, because it doesn’t pay. Since I don’t know where my stepdaughter is and haven’t seen her in a couple of days, I am going to post Julien’s post because having a token gay blogger is going to make me famous…..bitch.

I was trolling around Cragslist the other day, looking through the Causal Encounters section, the M4M section and of course looking through my favorite section, Missed Connections. I go through that one daily to see if anyone has had one for me but so far no luck. I mean what are they going to write “I saw this coked out faggot wearing women’s jeans and a lamae t-shirt riding the bus and I thought he was pretty hot”? I don’t think so.
And yes, I actually own that outfit.

So anyway I was on Craigslist and I saw an advertisement for a sex party that was happening that night. Now, in the gay community, sex parties aren’t that unusual, they pop up on Craigslist from time to time and I had never gone to one, but this was a particularly slow night so I thought what the hell. So, I go to this guy’s house and I enter into the living room where everyone was having sex. The guy had arranged the living room so all the couches were along the sidelines so there was this big open area in the middle. There were a few couples on couches here and there but the main attraction was in the main area. About 8 guys were standing up in the middle of the room fucking each other in one long line. Each guy had his dick in the ass of the guy in front of him. I watch this for about 5 minutes deciding whether or not to jump in there when Kylie Minogue’s cover of “The Locomotion” comes on the stereo and all the guys in the train go wild for it. And I thought to myself “Wow, this too gay even for me.” So I left.

Here are few pics of Kylie dressed up half-way between Amanda Lepore and a kite. Oh and remember while you are jerking off to her cleavage that she had breast cancer. So you should feel really bad about that. Unless that’s what you are into. You sick fuck.

Smooch!

Julien

Related Posts:

Kyle Minogue’s Breast Implants
Dannii Minogue Getting Tight With a Chick
Dannii Minogue’s Lap Dance Video
Kylie Minogue’s Ass

2007

26

Aug

I am – Some Dude Who is Tired of Girls Pissing Outside His Apartment of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t really know what the deal with this video is but from what I understand, some dude is tired of girls pissing outside his apartment window and he takes fucking action. I don’t know if I would mind girls pissing outside my apartment, I think I would be the kind of guy who runs the fuck down as fast as I could so that I get a glimpse of their pussy and if I was really fast on my feet I’d dive into the stream so that my golden shower fantasies with random girls I don’t know who are drunk come true….but I am a pretty slow mover and the last time a woman pissed on me when I was lying in bed with her. It was my wife and she was too lazy to get up and go to the bathroom and although it felt warm and comforting for about a minute it ended up smelling like shit and giving me a major rash. I can only assume she had a UTI or her kidneys have given out on her.

Either way, this video is amazing. Watch it.

Posted in:Movie|Unsorted|Video|viral

2007

26

Aug

I am – Jennifer Aniston’s Small Bikini Showing Her Ass of the Day

8 Comments »

Jennifer Aniston Small Bikini Clad Ass

I know Greek girls are supposed to have big child bearing asses and that’s why they take it up the ass so easily, so it’s possible that these Jennifer Aniston shots are some kind of optical illusion and she’s really rockin’ a XXL, but by the looks of it, she’s in a XXS and shit’s barely covering her ass. Maybe next time she’ll get it right and use the bikini bottoms to cover the real offensiveness in these pictures and that’s her face. I am talking busted down pick-up truck face that reminds me of last week’s kitchen garbage or maybe even an old catcher’s mitt, but her body is pretty banging and I do my best to not hate on bitches with hot bodies, even if they look like they were mauled by a bear when camping as a child or some shit…

I was out in some random club in some random town with some random people. I ended up there by getting in the car with people I didn’t really know and going for the ride because they were cool with taking me along with them and I was pretty tired of being downtown and ready for a change in the outskirts of hell. It turns out that the outskirts of hell attracts a hell of a lot of slutty looking girls who like talking to random people, not so much me because I look like an overweight mountain man and chicks that have bleached hair and fake tits and halter tops get enough of that at work when old men like me pay them 10 dollars a song to grab their tits…Either way, at one point in the night these 3 ugly chicks all with fake tits were doing shots in the corner. I wanted to join in but they weren’t having it but I did get to listen to their conversation and all they were talking about were their fake tits, how many CCs they had in each, who their doctor was, whether they had sensation back and all this fake tit shit. It was like seeing three guys with the same car randomly meet in the shopping center parking lot and start comparing their engines…..

Aniston may not have fake tits, but she does have hot tits, and that’s pretty much the end of this post. I’d ask for your feedback, but I really don’t give a fuck about what you think. Asshole.

Related Posts:

Jennifer Aniston Bikini Top Pictures
Jennifer Aniston Bikini Pictures…
Jennifer Aniston’s Nipple

2007

26

Aug

I am – Jennifer Aniston's Small Bikini Showing Her Ass of the Day

No Comments »

Jennifer Aniston Small Bikini Clad Ass

I know Greek girls are supposed to have big child bearing asses and that’s why they take it up the ass so easily, so it’s possible that these Jennifer Aniston shots are some kind of optical illusion and she’s really rockin’ a XXL, but by the looks of it, she’s in a XXS and shit’s barely covering her ass. Maybe next time she’ll get it right and use the bikini bottoms to cover the real offensiveness in these pictures and that’s her face. I am talking busted down pick-up truck face that reminds me of last week’s kitchen garbage or maybe even an old catcher’s mitt, but her body is pretty banging and I do my best to not hate on bitches with hot bodies, even if they look like they were mauled by a bear when camping as a child or some shit…

I was out in some random club in some random town with some random people. I ended up there by getting in the car with people I didn’t really know and going for the ride because they were cool with taking me along with them and I was pretty tired of being downtown and ready for a change in the outskirts of hell. It turns out that the outskirts of hell attracts a hell of a lot of slutty looking girls who like talking to random people, not so much me because I look like an overweight mountain man and chicks that have bleached hair and fake tits and halter tops get enough of that at work when old men like me pay them 10 dollars a song to grab their tits…Either way, at one point in the night these 3 ugly chicks all with fake tits were doing shots in the corner. I wanted to join in but they weren’t having it but I did get to listen to their conversation and all they were talking about were their fake tits, how many CCs they had in each, who their doctor was, whether they had sensation back and all this fake tit shit. It was like seeing three guys with the same car randomly meet in the shopping center parking lot and start comparing their engines…..

Aniston may not have fake tits, but she does have hot tits, and that’s pretty much the end of this post. I’d ask for your feedback, but I really don’t give a fuck about what you think. Asshole.

Related Posts:

Jennifer Aniston Bikini Top Pictures
Jennifer Aniston Bikini Pictures…
Jennifer Aniston’s Nipple

2007

26

Aug

I am – Miss Teen USA Answers a Question

8 Comments »

Since this is going around the internet like AIDS in the Gay Community and 15 people emailed it to me, when I only have 5 readers, I figured I would post it for some hot Sunday entertainment. It is Miss South Carolina answering some question in some insanely stupid way…because let’s face it looks are everything, not everyone is as smart as they should be and some people get by because they are pretty and clueless and in reality ignorance is bliss and she’s a hell of a lot happier than all of you fuckers and she’d never sleep with you, which is nothing new for you…..

Posted in:Unsorted|viral

2007

24

Aug

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

2 Comments »

It’s always hard for me to write on Friday afternoons, mostly because I know a night of booze, drugs and debauchery awaits me, and sitting in front the computer posting for all 4 of you reading out there doesn’t make it come any faster, you know?

It looks like it’s going to be an action packed night for me full of bars, and revisits to strip clubs after our busted last attempt earlier this week.You, on the other hand, will be curled up with your childhood blankie, lotion in one hand, small penis in the other, tissues on the bed side table.

Don’t cry, click these links, it will make the hurting stop.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

A Little Topless News For You Pervert…
GO

Sienna Miller is a Slut
GO

How to: Make your friend think they owe the government 1000’s of dollars
GO

Jelena is Some Slut Posing in Some Slutty Outfits…
GO

Savana Samson’s New Business Venture is Too Classy for a Slut…
GO

Some Insane Stunts on Motorbikes and Other Motorized Machines
GO

Amy Winehouse is living the dream
GO

Crackheads are funny
GO

Adriana Volpe is topless
GO

Scooter versus car
GO

Fucking Machines
GO

Jessica Alba has one fine, fine ass
GO

Paris will have her revenge
GO

Beautiful thong
GO

Lego Indiana Jones
GO

Keeley Hazell like whoa!!!
GO

Obvious Lie
GO

Dick on Fire
GO

Playing with gasoline is fun
GO

Vintage Conan O’Brian
GO

Eva Longwhore-ia is a whiner
GO

Lookin Good Sweetheart
GO

Porn of the Moment = Feed me Your Cream
GO

Britney’s Kids – Mr Vick is our hero!!!
GO

Heather Graham in a Red Sox Bra. This may be old, I don’t give a shit
GO

Pete Wentz looking like a girl
GO

Tera Patrick porn boobs
GO

The people of Malaysia think Beyonce is a slut. So do I
GO

How low can YOU go?
GO

Pole dancers cat fight
GO

Beach boogie face plant
GO

Lohan spoof video
GO

Jimmy Kimmel can be funny. Who knew?
GO

Celebrity porn announcement
GO

Crackhead gets slapped
GO

Nicole Richie serves 2 hours of her four day sentence. Now THATS justice!
GO

Abby Winter Limo Girls
GO

Kirsten Dunst got robbed. Ha Ha
GO

Lookin Good Sweetheart
GO

Some Chick Named Baybe Blue Does Photobucket
GO

This is a song for celebrities who can’t drive…called Hire a Driver….
GO

Some Stupid Dude Who Wants to be a Musician Sings Some Stupid Song
GO

Woman Sets Fire to Ex-Husband’s Penis
GO

British Dwarf’s Penis Gets Stuck in a Vaccuum
GO

You Need These Porn Reviews To Tell You Where to Jerk Off
GO

Some Dude’s Wife Naked on Flickr…
GO

Paula Abdul Still has a Boyfriend
GO

Sex After Plastic Surgery Forum…Read This Sex After Labiaplasty…
GO

Kristen Bell is a Whore
GO

Do You Know What You’re Daughter is Up To?
GO

Find Sex In Your Hometown
GO

Use This Spray to Get Laid
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

24

Aug

I am – Amy Winehouse’s Bra of the Day

No Comments »

This bitch is a wreck and that’s why I like her. She reminds me of most of the hookers I could afford when hookers was my hobby and there’s just something so irresistible about a bitch who’s hooked on drugs. I don’t know if it’s her emaciated body that makes her head look like a bobble head or whether it’s the smell of her unclean panties or if it’s the fact that bitch will do anything for a hit and that usually leads to cheap fucking blowjobs..

I was at a bar the other day and I met some 60 year old woman who was really into herself and thought she looked fucking awesome. She was telling me how most people think she looked 45 and expected me to agree, but I didn’t bother. She went on to tell me that she had just been released from the psych ward because her 2 kids committed her. When I asked her if she was crazy she said it was all a misunderstanding and that her daughter was just out to get her. She told me that her family wanted nothing to do with her, and she was all twitchy and jacked on meds, and looked like she was about to cry. Whenever I tried to change the subject, because I don’t really give a fuck about some senior citizen’s insanity, she kept bringing it up and saying how she missed her kids and grandkids. After about an hour of this, she pulled out a bag of meth and offered me a hit, I said no because I got enough fucking problems, but at the same time thought it was so hot to see someone that old rockin’ out so cool, because like I said there’s nothing hotter than a bitch with an addiction, no matter what age they are, or what mental problems they have….

Either way, here she is yesterday carrying a picture of herself, with her bra poking through because you love her……

Amy Winehouse’s Dirty Underwear of the Day
Amy Winehouse is a Real Addict of the Day
Amy Winehouse’s Nipples and Prison Tattoos of the Day
Amy Winehouse’s Nipples and Meth Skin of the Day
Amy Winehouse’s Meth Addict Before and After of the Day

Posted in:Addict|Amy Winehouse|Bra|Tits|Unsorted

2007

24

Aug

I am – Amy Winehouse's Bra of the Day

No Comments »

This bitch is a wreck and that’s why I like her. She reminds me of most of the hookers I could afford when hookers was my hobby and there’s just something so irresistible about a bitch who’s hooked on drugs. I don’t know if it’s her emaciated body that makes her head look like a bobble head or whether it’s the smell of her unclean panties or if it’s the fact that bitch will do anything for a hit and that usually leads to cheap fucking blowjobs..

I was at a bar the other day and I met some 60 year old woman who was really into herself and thought she looked fucking awesome. She was telling me how most people think she looked 45 and expected me to agree, but I didn’t bother. She went on to tell me that she had just been released from the psych ward because her 2 kids committed her. When I asked her if she was crazy she said it was all a misunderstanding and that her daughter was just out to get her. She told me that her family wanted nothing to do with her, and she was all twitchy and jacked on meds, and looked like she was about to cry. Whenever I tried to change the subject, because I don’t really give a fuck about some senior citizen’s insanity, she kept bringing it up and saying how she missed her kids and grandkids. After about an hour of this, she pulled out a bag of meth and offered me a hit, I said no because I got enough fucking problems, but at the same time thought it was so hot to see someone that old rockin’ out so cool, because like I said there’s nothing hotter than a bitch with an addiction, no matter what age they are, or what mental problems they have….

Either way, here she is yesterday carrying a picture of herself, with her bra poking through because you love her……

Amy Winehouse’s Dirty Underwear of the Day
Amy Winehouse is a Real Addict of the Day
Amy Winehouse’s Nipples and Prison Tattoos of the Day
Amy Winehouse’s Nipples and Meth Skin of the Day
Amy Winehouse’s Meth Addict Before and After of the Day

Posted in:Addict|Amy Winehouse|Bra|Tits|Unsorted

2007

24

Aug

I am – Rachel Nichol’s Has Hot Tits of the Day

3 Comments »

Rachel Nichols Cleavage

I am not sure who this bitch is, but her name is Rachel Nichols and I liked her tits so I decided to post them…

Speaking of unimportant, no name cunts who are trying to break into the scene, I found this bitch named Lauren Hastings on Facebook. She’s the girl who cried about how Lohan stole her clothes or some shit in efforts to get more famous and more shitty modeling jobs…I was talking to her on myspace a while ago trying to get some inside scoop because I am a sleuth detective like that and she wasn’t having it….It turned out that she was DJ AM’s girlfriend after Nicole Richie and has had sex with him despite him being gayer than bicycle shorts….or paddle-surfing….

Either way, I sent her this message

so this girl who has been trying to write the site turns on her webcam and starts masturbating with a vibrator in all kinds of positions til she cums, takes a cigarette break then starts sucking the vibrator off for like an hour and I don’t know what to do because I am kinds tired so I just leave it on in the background and write the occassional “Oh My God…This is Nuts”…then she shoves in back in her for round two and makes herself cum again….

if you’re wondering why i am telling you this….it’s because she’s 5 ft 11 was a model, and since you’re a model for Old Navy, I was like wow – two models in one day spoke to me …. what are the chances….

so she wrote:

fuck off

So I wrote:

why are you being so rude. I thought we were friends. Are you turning against me? Is it because I want to steal your dirty panties like I was Lohan?

I’ll keep sending you messages baby because I know deep down inside you like them, maybe we can do an interview about DJ AM’s dick or something…

Cuddles,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Now here are some pictures of this Rachel Nichols’ tits….

Related Posts:

stepSTALKER is my Best Feature
Christina Aguilera’s Crazy Milk Filled Cleavage
Jennifer Esposito’s Almost Cleavage
Leah Remini’s Scientology Cleavage
Amy Adam’s Cleavage

Posted in:cleavage|Rachel Nichols|stepSTALKER|Tits|Unsorted

2007

24

Aug

I am – Rachel Nichol's Has Hot Tits of the Day

3 Comments »

Rachel Nichols Cleavage

I am not sure who this bitch is, but her name is Rachel Nichols and I liked her tits so I decided to post them…

Speaking of unimportant, no name cunts who are trying to break into the scene, I found this bitch named Lauren Hastings on Facebook. She’s the girl who cried about how Lohan stole her clothes or some shit in efforts to get more famous and more shitty modeling jobs…I was talking to her on myspace a while ago trying to get some inside scoop because I am a sleuth detective like that and she wasn’t having it….It turned out that she was DJ AM’s girlfriend after Nicole Richie and has had sex with him despite him being gayer than bicycle shorts….or paddle-surfing….

Either way, I sent her this message

so this girl who has been trying to write the site turns on her webcam and starts masturbating with a vibrator in all kinds of positions til she cums, takes a cigarette break then starts sucking the vibrator off for like an hour and I don’t know what to do because I am kinds tired so I just leave it on in the background and write the occassional “Oh My God…This is Nuts”…then she shoves in back in her for round two and makes herself cum again….

if you’re wondering why i am telling you this….it’s because she’s 5 ft 11 was a model, and since you’re a model for Old Navy, I was like wow – two models in one day spoke to me …. what are the chances….

so she wrote:

fuck off

So I wrote:

why are you being so rude. I thought we were friends. Are you turning against me? Is it because I want to steal your dirty panties like I was Lohan?

I’ll keep sending you messages baby because I know deep down inside you like them, maybe we can do an interview about DJ AM’s dick or something…

Cuddles,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Now here are some pictures of this Rachel Nichols’ tits….

Related Posts:

stepSTALKER is my Best Feature
Christina Aguilera’s Crazy Milk Filled Cleavage
Jennifer Esposito’s Almost Cleavage
Leah Remini’s Scientology Cleavage
Amy Adam’s Cleavage