DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2022

22

Apr

Irina Shayk Bikini Selfies of the Day

I guess this is how you get that A-List creampie when you’re ovulating so that it sticks and works out to be a lucrative business relationship, because as a Russian, with your cold and calculated KGB trained minds, and your agent provocateur trained body, you gotta do what you gotta to to survive in luxury….

As I keep seeing more and more Ukraine flags raised around town, and hear more and more insane cancelling of Russian citizens over nonsense, like how Wimbeldon is banning Russian players because it’s party of the reset, I am pretty sure that no one’s out here trying to cancel this mom bod in a bikini, still looking hot.

Funny how that works…selective fucking programming and I’m ok with that, because Irina may be a beacon of hope for Russian for perverts like me who love how hot the Russians are….maybe things will get bad enough that we’ll have to go there and charter a boat back with our harem…Ukranians are hot too, so they can get on board too…nothing like some wore to make willing prostitutes even more desperate!

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Posted in:Irina Shayk

2022

22

Apr

On/Off Flasher Fridays of the Day

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I say the same thing about On/Off’s every week, I really should just cut and paste the same words, since no one would notice and that’s basically what I already do, but I spin it people, like today we’ve got some Karate Ninja Judo bitch showing you her ill-fitting martial arts outfit, but more importantly what you’d see after you grapple that ill-fitting martial arts outfit off of her. It’s all about inclusivity, genderless sports, and skill people….NOT SEXUAL ASSAULT…right…..

So I say, let’s mandate On/Off not SOCIAL CREDIT SCORES in the UTOPIA they have planned for you peasant slaves with their digital currencies and lockdowns and control…..

Because I always want to know what a bitch looks like under her clothes for many reasons, all roads leading back to me being a pervert.

WHAT SIZE TITS, WHAT SIZE NIPPLE, WHAT COLOR NIPPLE< DOES SHE HAVE BIRTH MARKS, is she fat and sofit, or fit and hard bodied, what about the bush, is there bush, what's the shape, length color....then there's pussy, asshole, lips, clits and it just oesn't end...until the On/Off happens...and it's happening right here. [gallery ids="842200,842196,842195,842194,842197,842199,842198,842201,842203"] (more…)

Posted in:OnOff

2022

22

Apr

Alexa Demie Nipples of the Day

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Sydney Sweeney looks like some pale ass pile of shit, but I guess that’s what happens to these girls when they aren’t pulling out their tits….when all they have to offer are their tits…because they are pretty great tits…it’s just funny that she’s the only celebrity to surface from the ether in the last 5 years…you know, from a NON SOCIAL MEDIA place…because I remember when she had no followers, that shit just blew up for her…ALL BECAUSE of tits.

I guess being from the TITTY era, where celebs weren’t the tits, but rather the SI models like Kate Upton, the Playboy chicks like Anna Nicole….KATIE PRICE / JORDAN…were known for their tits, but not a-listers in all the movies because of the tits..but that’s the only way to get people in seats I guess…TITS get hits and we’re in one big pile of tit.

So anyway, this is Sweeney’s COSTAR, who is in a sheer dress, showing her more modest an brave tits, not intimidated by Sweeney tits, because I guess she realizes all tit lives matter, should be seen, since tits bring great opportunity….and the proof is on her arm candy…

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Posted in:Alexa Demie

2022

22

Apr

Candice Swanepoel Ass of the Day

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Photoshopped Candice Swanepoel in our ACTOR BASED REALITY, or SIMULATION that we are clearly part of, since everything is fucking fake as fuck that you experience via a screen, still looks pretty fucking good..the only problem with this is figuring out how much of this is real Candice Swanepoel and how much of it is just an illusion…and I figure that requires too much effort, so I’ll just stick with Candice Swanepoel when photoshopped, like she’s always been, is pretty fucking substantial….as far as I’m concerned because I like skinny model bitches, rather than the ditch pigs they’re trying to tell me are hot on the internet…I’m a purist and will not accept fatties as humans.

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Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2022

22

Apr

Jordyn Jones White Trash Bikini of the Day

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Pretty dumpy for a dancre….I blame filters and photoshop, but realize this is filtered and photoshopped….the love for the fat ass gets girls thinking its hot to be fat…

I guess you can’t escape your genetics when you’re some inbred trash from Kalamazoo….sold to dance for perverted TV executives as a child, given a taste of that there fancy life her alcoholic dad only dreamed of when sodomizing the family goat after one too many whiskeys, no realizing his baby girl was going to end up that goat, because he was too drunk… not THE goat, just like a goat being fucked..which we can anxiously await to have video of, since the only way to the top for this one is officially doing porn now that she’s maxed out on selling panty pics to her fans.

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Posted in:Jordyn Jones

2022

22

Apr

Fishnet Friday of the Day

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Fishnets…the ageless hosiery, or would it be timeless, because you know back in the 1700s some fisherman who spent a little too much time at sea, probably a Portuguese man, all dumbed down by the sun, the hooch and the years at sea….liked the way his fishnets looked against his legs and said “let’s market this shit”….from sticking his dick in fish as they die on his dick to LINGERIE mogul that’s really lasted for all these years because as a species, we’re pretty perverted….so there’s no difference from your great granny in fishnets trying to suck dick to get on a boat to the new world where she sucked dick of some fur trader…only for her daughter, your granny to slip into the fishnets to suck dick at the honkytonk to find you a grandpappy….you get where I’m going with this…..now you wear fishnets in the mirror as you scream your PRONOUNS at yourself cuz no one will listen…GAYLORD FROM SPACE

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Posted in:Fishnets

2022

22

Apr

Dove Cameron Push Up of the Day

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Dove Cameron is some Disney Kid that I have decided was created in one of their labs in Florida, that they’re probably going to have to answer for, but I could always be wrong, it’s just that if I was the biggest brand in entertainment that basically owns a chunk of every aspect of the media, I’d probably be creating my own celebrities in a bunker somewhere so that they stay focused on the task at hand, sure I may give them a solid origin story, or even a fake family for a handful of years that they identify as their parents, but I would definitely kill off the parents at a certain point so that her only protector is “the company”….

Maybe I watch too many movies, but she’s definitely gives off creepy and dark vibes…good cleavage though.

Her caption for this was “Tired and Happy”….after a baby shower…she used a baby and a shower emoji so I dug deep into my investigative journalism skills….

At least it wasn’t some cryptic poetry about how she wishes she was dead, or how she cuts herself, so we can focus on her tits, while still being creeped out by her, I don’t feel bad for her, not that I would if she was posting her tits and stories about self harm or depression, I don’t get caught up in the actual person behind the tits, but it’s still better when her darkness is my perception and not weird shit she says.

That said, corset tops do good things to tits….Some middle ages, French Revolution, Royal prostitute marie antoinette shit..

I am amazed I still bother with the big cleavage pics in an era of throat fucking selfies for Family Christmas Cards…but I keep things old school, outdated and pure.

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Posted in:Dove Cameron

2022

22

Apr

Feminist Friday of the Day

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FEMINISM IS A LIE THAT MAKES WOMEN UNHAPPY…

I don’t know why any woman would subscribe to working corporate rat race so she can buy herself expensive things to show off to her friends, you know proving that she can support herself, that she’s independent, that she don’t need no man….instead of finding fulfillment in raising your kids, running your family, and NOT WORKING A SHIT JOB THAT ROBS YOU OF YOUR HUMANITY….

It seems like it was a pretty clever way to destory society, because kids need their moms, you can’t argue that….but when a mom’s got her focus on making money, hustling, taking over the world so she can be the next Gwyneth Paltrow GOOP…..you lose sight of that….

The one bastion of hope for the family, is that this generation are a bunch of lazy sugar babies who never want to work, or be corporate heroes, like the women before them with a chip on their shoulder and fire in their eye….so they’re a migration back to being stay at home wife, homemakers, but the prostitute version and only for rich guys, but at least they realize the feminism is retarded, except when it applies to justifying posting nudes for likes…

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Posted in:Feminist

2022

22

Apr

Elizabeth Hurley On Her Back of the Day

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Here’s some optical illusion fuckery for you to confuse your mind with….

One of those “these filters are out of fucking control”…she’s practically erased her damn face off with the blur, but for whatever reason, still looks hot, even if it’s a digitally altered version of her.

I thought she was trolling us, I guess in ways she is, but then I saw her in video that wasn’t edited and she’s holding up nicely, not this nicely, but this is the instagram version of a 50 year old I guess….even when the 50 year old looks good for 50….probably better than most 20 year olds now that they’ve been told being hot is a bad thing, and if they want to get noticed be as vile, fat and disgusting as possible, so it’s not saying much, but it is still tricking us into thinking it’s some kind of real….and I find that irresponsible as I still would wear hr used vagina like a sock puppet, she could be my lamb chops and call me her Sherry Lewis…

What?

Exactly.

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Posted in:Elizabeth Hurley|Elizabeth Hurley

2022

22

Apr

Full Back Panties Friday of the Day

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Some say that not all panties are created equally, but the fact of the matter is that not all panty wearers are created equally, because the right panty wearer can be hot even when using your face as a pair of panties, and you’re pretty gross, but also hot if she decides to use some rotten luncheon meat as panties, or really a dirty diaper as panties, so the concept of men being such fags that women had to be insecure about wearing full back panties unless they were in a long term relationship, is some real propaganda bullshit lie, like the attack on BUSH, not man genuinely HATES bush, or GRANNY panties and if they do…they are probably a they and just haven’t had the testosterone levels checked yet.

Here’s some FULL BACK PANTIES to help EMPOWER the FULL BACK panty wearers.

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Posted in:Fullback Panty