I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

31

Jul

I am – Hayden Panettiere Picking Her Wedgie and Licking Her Hand of the Day

Hayden Panettiere

Young girls like Hayden Panettiere become wank fantasies for guys like you because they are young, and therefore you will also assume, easy. Unlike women the your own age, who have standards when it comes to men , young girls like Hayden will overlook the fact that you live with your mom in your childhood bedroom and work at Burger King. They are also really impressed that you own any sort of car, no matter how big a piece of shit it is.

Then you see her picking her wedgie and licking her hand after and realize that even you have standards and your precious fantasies have yet again been crushed by the reality of life, loser.


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2007

31

Jul

I am – Amy Adams’ Cleavage of the Day

Amy Adams

When I was a little kid, we would drive 7 hours north to a lake that had only a few feet of water during the great late 80’s California drought. My grandparents lived up there for a while because lakes with no water have cheap property. What I remember best is this hick named “Blaze.” Blaze lived in a trailer down the hill and had a ravine filled with over a thousand beer cans–his own homemade landfill. Us kids liked to go down and play at Blaze’s because he let us swim in this huge metal drum he filled with water. Our parents would compaire shotguns while we bobbed in 3 feet of liquid rust. If you had to pee, Blaze had an authentic outhouse, and the walls were papered with porn. I never looked down inside the hole in the seat–the smell of years of piled-up shit was enough to fulfill my curiosity. Blaze always seemed to have a new wife every time we visited. One was fat and jolly. One was oily and petite. Another was thin and liked to paint animal skulls. My uncle recently told me that they found out Blaze had died, and that he had been a pimp. I wonder how many “wives” he buried beneath those beer cans out back…

Here is Amy Adams at the “Underdog” premier last night. She has great cleavage and is as cute as a motherfucking button. As a child, I’m sure Amy Adams never swam in a big barrel of tetanus in the yard of a hillbilly pimp, and she never grew up to have an angry Turkish pimp. For these reasons, along with the red hair, I want to be her. So I present you with her cleavage. Now go wallpaper your bathroom with porn.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE


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Posted in:Amy Adams|cleavage|Unsorted

2007

31

Jul

I am – Amy Adams' Cleavage of the Day

Amy Adams

When I was a little kid, we would drive 7 hours north to a lake that had only a few feet of water during the great late 80’s California drought. My grandparents lived up there for a while because lakes with no water have cheap property. What I remember best is this hick named “Blaze.” Blaze lived in a trailer down the hill and had a ravine filled with over a thousand beer cans–his own homemade landfill. Us kids liked to go down and play at Blaze’s because he let us swim in this huge metal drum he filled with water. Our parents would compaire shotguns while we bobbed in 3 feet of liquid rust. If you had to pee, Blaze had an authentic outhouse, and the walls were papered with porn. I never looked down inside the hole in the seat–the smell of years of piled-up shit was enough to fulfill my curiosity. Blaze always seemed to have a new wife every time we visited. One was fat and jolly. One was oily and petite. Another was thin and liked to paint animal skulls. My uncle recently told me that they found out Blaze had died, and that he had been a pimp. I wonder how many “wives” he buried beneath those beer cans out back…

Here is Amy Adams at the “Underdog” premier last night. She has great cleavage and is as cute as a motherfucking button. As a child, I’m sure Amy Adams never swam in a big barrel of tetanus in the yard of a hillbilly pimp, and she never grew up to have an angry Turkish pimp. For these reasons, along with the red hair, I want to be her. So I present you with her cleavage. Now go wallpaper your bathroom with porn.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE


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Posted in:Amy Adams|cleavage|Unsorted

2007

31

Jul

I am – Elisabetta Canalis Almost Nip Slip of the Day

Elisabettz Canalis

My friend just broke up with his girlfriend so I’m supposed to go out for a beer with him this afternoon. It was one of those situations where no matter what he did nothing was good enough for her. He would take this bitch shopping at Burberry and Gucci and all those other overpriced bullshit stores and then they would get home and she would tell him what a useless motherfucker he was etc. I fucking hated her anyways so I’m kind like whatever.

He was also a drug dealer for a long time, and made as much money in 1 month as you probably so in 6, but stopped because she was all like “I love you and I don’t want you to go to jail.� etc. Then when the money stopped rolling in and he couldn’t take her ass out for $400 dinner and wine anymore, it turned into “You are a useless piece of shit.� etc.

I always thought she was a stupid ugly bitch with no fucking brain anyways so I’m pretty happy to be honest cause this means I don’t even have to speak to her again, and I can ignore her when I see her from now on.

He was fucking so many other girls while he was with her, that I think this whole “I’m going to miss her thing” is such bullshit. I don’t think he’s going to miss her, I think he’s going to miss fucking her in the ass and fisting her while taking pictures. Pictures which, by the way, I suggested he make copies of and post around her hood for revenge, that’s another story tho.

Here’s Elisabetta Canalis. When I first saw these pics, I thought they were nip slips, but upon closer inspection realized I was wrong. I figured I would post them anyways, since I know you are a virgin and this is probably the closest thing you will get to see to a tit this week, except for when you’re spying on your sister when she showers.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


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2007

31

Jul

I am – Elizabeth Berkley in a Bikini of the Day

Elizabeth Berkeley

I drove back to LA from San Diego Monday morning for my last “pay-date” with WR. Things were awkward after I left fingernail imprints on his balls and messed up his back in a fit of angry sex Friday night. So I wasn’t sure what to expect for our last tryst, or what the tone would be, or if he would be able smell that blonde-virgin i slammed Saturday night (men are animals after all).

WR came to the hotel a little skittish. He gave me a Tiffany silver chain bracelet with a heart. You know, that crap every 13 year old girl from Long Island gets before her Bahtmitzvah. Hi, what the fuck? Do I look like a barely pubescent JAP? I’m sure his bitch girlfriend gets gold and rocks. I am smelting that shit down as soon as I get home.

Long story short, I let him know I was calling the shots. I told him he could bend me over the balcony off my room until I got tired, and then we could fuck in the bed. He complied. I bit his nipples, hard. He liked it. I allowed him to sleep with his head nuzzled between my tits. When I awoke, WR was gone and a check filled his place…

I don’t think WR will offer a cross the country money-fuck again, but if he does, I won’t do it. I’m no longer an emotionally cut-off teen-hooker. Sugar Nell’s all grown-up, and won’t take orders from cunts, which makes for a pretty poor prostitute, but an excellent bar slut and back-alley bang.

I am too tired from sliding up and down several cocks across Southern California to connect these pics of Elizabeth Berkeley (Showgirls) to the end of my affair with old trick WR. But here she is recently in a Bikini, looking like an Amazon. She’s got back, and by the time you finish reading this post, I will be back in NY ready again to choose who I fuck and how I fuck them, and all you douches need to do is water me with drinks.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE


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2007

31

Jul

I am – Madonna Pretending She is Still Young of the Day

Madonna

I quit my job at Dairy Queen last night, which is okay with me in the end, cause it was pretty shitty. They asked me to clean out some fucking garbage thing at the back and I got the new kid to do it instead, which I thought was delegating and showed leadership. My boss didn’t agree.

In addition, I had been pretty much showing up late everyday for the last month, reeking of booze most of the time. I would sit in the back alley talking on my cell phone while the manager was out in his car getting blowjobs from the jailbait girls who stop in to get Blizzards. Free ice cream goes a long way. It had gotten to the point where I couldn’t have possibly stole more shit or fucked up things anymore then I already had. The only upsetting thing is that I had developed an excellent way to skim off the top from the cash register, which made the job, shitty as it was, pretty fucking lucrative on a good day.

Still I think I’m getting a bit to old for that gig anyways. All good things some to and end I guess and there comes a time when you know you have to let the past go, move on and live in the present. Kind of like Madonna here, who needs to realize that she is not fucking 18 anymore and that she is, in fact, a borderline senior citizen.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


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2007

31

Jul

I am – Sophie Anderton at Some Fashion Show of the Day

Sophie Anderton

I’ve been trying to figure out to do in regards to this guy I have been dating on and off for the last little while. He’s alright and I like him, but I tend to get cold feet around the 2-3 month mark, because I like to have the option to just go fuck who ever I want to, when I want to (cause I’m a bit of a whore like that) and most guys just don’t understand that. They usually pretend like they are fine with it for the first little while, then all the sudden we have to start “talking” about things and the “future”. My future goes as far as what am I going to eat for dinner, and am I going to the bar tonight?

He also developed this annoying fucking habit of calling me all these cutesy names which I guess are some sort of terms of affection, but I don’t stay in relationships long enough to usually experience this type of shit.

This guy I know, a good friend and a self confirmed life-long bachelor, is telling me to get the fuck out and get the fuck out NOW. Unfortunately, this isn’t as easy as my one night stands, where I can just climb out the fire escape to freedom and never look back, my hair blowing in the wind. I made the mistake of not only giving him my phone number, but showing him where I live. Fuck.

Here’s Sophie Anderton. She understands where I’m coming from.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


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2007

30

Jul

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

stepLINK July 30/07

My ex called me and told me he is coming into town for the weekend and asked if he could stay with me for a few days. We had the the most crazy animal sex I have ever had in my life when we were together. Everyguy I have slept with since has pretty much been a let down, so it is pretty much granted that we are going to fuck if he comes here.

Im usually against having sex with exs, especially if they broke up with me (as is the case with this dude) I’m not interested in dating him anymore, but if there is one thing and one thing alone I miss about him, its letting him fuck the shit out of me for hours.

To top it off I have been working on this site way to much, and watching way too much god damned porn. I need to be dealt with properly by someone who knows how to do it. Needless to say I’m in quite the dilemma over here. What do you guys think?

Click these links in the meantime, ad make me smile…. 🙂

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


Boob Match
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Insane bike crashs
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Blonde Hair, Big Tits. Do I really have to say anything else?
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Me so horny!
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More Britney Bullshit
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Megan Fox needs to dump David Silver
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Still fantasizing about TWINS?
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Cars + Half Naked Women = Very Nice
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Trapped in the Drive-thru
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Cash Warren = Idiot of the Day
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Live cow fed to tigers
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Two hot brunettes going at it
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Ingrid Coronado bikini shoot
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Girl caught masterbating. This is actually kinda creepy, but you’re probably into that
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Kelly Osbourne looking hot, for a fat chick
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Amazingly bad special effects
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Jade Goodie pokies
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Lola Ponce and her thong bikini on the beach
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My kind of kid
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Michelle Pfeiffer is hot
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Deleted Showgirls scene youve probably seen already, but whatever
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Skater versus Priest
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Scarlett Johannsson to play Jenna Jameson?
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Whats wrong with this picture?
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Magic Trick goes terribly wrong
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Do you take it?
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Make you friend think they have an STD!
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Fake blood guts and gore, but still pretty funny
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Home Dominatrix
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Simpsons celebrity cameo quiz
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Crazy trick pool shot
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Naked roller coaster record
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And MORE Britney Drama
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Lookin Good Sweetheart
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Karen dreams her first
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Rare Arab beauty pagent
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Ali Sims sings
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Store clerk gets shot by teenaged girl
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Faith Hill gets pissed at ballgrabber
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Shayla in the pool
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Cow crap kills the planet?
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Wild Eva and friends
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Paris Hilton to star is Space Opera
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Angie Everhart engaged to Joe Pesci. Wow.
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Gwen Stefani is fucking weird
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Usher didn’t get married
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Stephen Colbert reunites with the Bush Administration
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Wannabe webcam girls
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Some hot chick strips down
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Naomi Watts finally popped
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Paris Hilton looses inheritence
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Adriana Lima takes it all off
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Get laid, you know you wanna.
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Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

30

Jul

I am – Thirsty Rollerblading Pedophile of the Day

I don’t think I am ever going to have kids, mostly because the though of something growing inside me makes me want to throw up all over my keyboard, but if I did I would keep such a fucking short leash on them, they would hate me forever. And when old dudes at the park came up to them and gave them bottled water, I would spray them with my pepper spray and kick them while they were down.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

30

Jul

I am – Britney Spears, Still Crazy of the Day

Britney Spears

I really just don’t even know what to say this. Wow….just…wow.

I read that her new “video� cost $30 000 of her own money, which by today’s standards of videos and how much they cost, is the equivalent of shooting it on a fucking Sony Handicam. I wouldn’t be surprised if she gave Sean Preston some scissors and tape to edit the fucking thing.

I honestly can’t wait to hear the song and watch this piece of shit and yell at the TV. I’m getting giddy just thinking about it!!


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