DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

25

Jun

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

I have a new email buddy who writes me stories about how her boyfriend fingerbangs her and how she once accidentally made out with a dog. She told me about going home with some random dude who had fat chick porn mags sprawled out all over his shitty apartment and how she woke up not knowing whether he raped her or not. I find this kind of shit inspiring. I’m thinking I should go out there and live more than sticking to a computer and reading/writing useless drivel, but I really have no where to go – so I’ll just keep relying on the few of you who actually aren’t too scared to venture out of your house…like this bitch who passes out on creepy dude’s floors and wake up wondering whether dude stuffed her or not….

This is shit that I was sent or that I went to today. Doesn’t mean shit’s amazing but I think it’s worth checking out. If you’re wondering why it is long, it always is because I am compensating for a short cock.

Here are the links:

Hot Chick Jumpin Around in a Bikini With Her Huge Tits and a Hot Ass Shake in Slow Motion
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Rosario Dawson Likes Chicks Because She Has a Dick
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Jenna Jameson’s New Tranny Look at Erotica Show in LA
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Megan Fox Maxim Photoshoot Video Cuz You Want to Fuck Her
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Fill in the Blank Homer Simpson – Test Your Simpson Knowledge Because You’re Bored and Lookin for a Good Time in all Different Ways.
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Kate Beckinsale’s Got Legs
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More Christine Lakin I want to Fuck
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Petra Nemcova Shows Off her Tits
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Busty Blonde Named Trixie Flashes
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Julia Stiles With Her Topless Friend
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You don’t need a seatbelt with these airbags…
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Spoiled Cunt Get Mad Wen Her Mom Gives Her a Lexus
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Girls Flashing at a Party
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John Tavolta’s Got a Lace Front
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Big Brother Brazil Gets Good Pool Footage, Hot Asses and Nip Slips
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Angelina Jolie Skinny and Out With Her Kid and by kid I mean Tits
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Ashton Kutcher Checking Out his stepDAUGHTER’s tits
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Brandon Davis Gets Pussy From This Chick in a Red Bikini
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Masturbation – Temporary Sexual Pleasure with Many Dangers….
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Rose McGowan in Arena Magazine
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Missy Peregrym is from Montreal and I want to See Her Naked
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Rebeca Cabral is a Brazilian Bikini Model Posing Video
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Hugh Hefner Says He’d Still Pay Paris to Pose….But Her Mom Won’t Let Her…
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Hayden Panettiere Pumping Gas
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Cameron Diaz Offends Peruvians
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The Evolution of Burt Reynolds from 1960 to Today
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WWE Wrestler and His Family Found Dead…Weird
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Penelope Cruz and Her Asian Friend
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More Christina Aguilera Big Ol Tit Pictures
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Rachel Hunter Hard Nipples..
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Dita Von Tease – Topless and Body Painted
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Kerri Russel’s Post Pregnancy Ass
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Playboy Photoshop’s Model’s Belly Button Out
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Megan Fox at the Screening of Transformers
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Flashing Girl Causes a Car Accident
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Posh Spice is Going to be a Cheerleader
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Eva Mendes Wanted to be a Nun and Now She’s A Slut You Jerk Off To…
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Kate Moss Has Some Crazy Floppy Skin on her Legs I Want to Lick
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Britney No Bra Spears
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Paris Exposed Tags Paris’ House – Amazing…WHy Didn’t one of You FUck’s Do that For me?
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Drunk John Stamos Interview….
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Bridget Fonda Tits in Video
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Some Fat Chick Named Beth Ditto Performing With Her Fat Tits Because She’s Doing All She Can Before the Stroke Hits.
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Neo Nazi Dude Who Shot People Up in Utah after Escaping Prison…Has Nice Tattoos…
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Ben Affleck Penis Action
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Some Shemale Cut Off It’s Legs Because It’s Supposed to be Some Kind of Insane Disorder and It’s on Jerry Springer…It’s fucking disgusting…
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Indiana Jones on Set in Costume Reminding Us He’s Too Old to be in Movies…
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Sarah Silverman is Ugly and in her Bra in Rolling Stone
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Brad and Angelina think “I LOVE YOU” is for Pussies…I think Angelina Jolie is For Pussy Too.
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Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace Topless Photoshoot
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New Amy Winehouse Video Because There Won’t Be Many Before She Dies of a Drug Overdose
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The First Feature Length Movie on Youtube Sucks
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart – Picture 2
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K-Fed’s Baby Momma Shar Jackson has a 16 Year Old Son…She’s 30
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Use This Site to Find Pussy
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Use This Spray to Get Laid
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Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

25

Jun

I am – Brooke Hogan is Trash of the Day

1 Comment »

So it turns out that Brooke Hogan got fake tits. I figured that was the next step for her and you can tell by the scar in the armpit and from the fact that her tits are bigger than they were before. I remember when this slut was just a small breasted fat chick with a dream and now she’s pretty much no better than the whores I dream about getting lap dances from in my local strip clubs. The reason I call them whores is because they let you grab their tits for money and if you don’t have money they really want nothing to do with you and that would piss me off if I was lookin for love, but I am not, so I can handle the fact that they walk off pissed off when I tell them I have no money after making them chat me up for an hour. It’s actually one of the only things I find joy in these days. Because if I was a stripper I wouldn’t be working the loser in the corner who has been nursing one beer for the last 5 hours while wearing joggin’ pants….but I guess strippers aren’t known to be geniuses at least not at the places I go to.

The one thing that drives me crazy about strippers these days is their stupid legwarmers. The only reason I am posting these pictures is because of her fucking stupid pants. I got issues with these things and I see them everywhere I go. I don’t find them hot, I don’t care that a bitch is walking around with her ass hanging out and her legs covered up, I like full nudity or half nudity, but not no nudity, just annoying glimpses at what could be, from behind of retarded pants that distract me from wanting to see her naked because I am too focused on wondering what the fuck bitch is wearing.

I don’t care that Brooke Hogan thinks being sexy is being a stripper, it’s a pretty general mentality. A lot of girls and strippers think being a stripper is sexy and they all take notes from each other, making all girls run the same tricks. I go to fucking strip clubs all the time so I guess I partially feel the same way, but I like to believe the real reason I go to strip clubs is to try to figure out what drove these whores into becoming whores. What kind of daddy issues, broken homes, poverty and addiction did they face to resort to making a lot more money than they would working the checkout counter at the supermarket an to see some naked chicks, but not to be seduced by stuidity.

Either way, Brooke Hogan has access to money, comes from a big house with big cars and a big father, but for some reason she’s following her whore mother’s footsteps and taking this shit to the stage, big fake titties and semi-nudity, the only problem is that cunt isn’t showing her cunt and that to me is a waste of a stripper or someone who is so obviously inspired by strippers but is too pussy to take it to the level needed making her nothing but a failure to me…at least SHE’S been consistent on her quest to the pole….

2007

25

Jun

I am – Jade Jagger’s Upskirt of the Day

52 Comments »

Jade Jagger is the daughter of Mick Jagger and Bianca Jagger. She’s about 36 and I think I love her. These are pictures of her having a pretty weak upskirt that make me question why I do this site. I don’t understand why the fuck I bother writing posts about people I don’t ]give a fuck about, even though I’d love to stuff them like a turkey, but I do it because they are showing off a little panty. It’s a pretty fucking pathetic existence, because I would be a lot happier being out watching upskirts and nip slips happen in real life. Unfortunately, I am too poor and lazy for that shit.

What I am not too lazy for is harassing girls on myspace and facebook. Today’s question is when did you have your first orgasm. So far no one has answered me but 10 people have deleted me as a friend. I guess I am good at turning people off.

Posted in:Jade Jagger|Unsorted|Upskirt

2007

25

Jun

I am – Jade Jagger's Upskirt of the Day

No Comments »

Jade Jagger is the daughter of Mick Jagger and Bianca Jagger. She’s about 36 and I think I love her. These are pictures of her having a pretty weak upskirt that make me question why I do this site. I don’t understand why the fuck I bother writing posts about people I don’t ]give a fuck about, even though I’d love to stuff them like a turkey, but I do it because they are showing off a little panty. It’s a pretty fucking pathetic existence, because I would be a lot happier being out watching upskirts and nip slips happen in real life. Unfortunately, I am too poor and lazy for that shit.

What I am not too lazy for is harassing girls on myspace and facebook. Today’s question is when did you have your first orgasm. So far no one has answered me but 10 people have deleted me as a friend. I guess I am good at turning people off.

Posted in:Jade Jagger|Unsorted|Upskirt

2007

25

Jun

I am – Coleen McLoughlin Bikini Pics of the Day

17 Comments »

Her name is Coleen McLoughlin, she’s obviously not that famous because I have never heard about what she does. I have posted These Bikini Pics of her in the past, which means that the dudes who rock the message boards I steal my pictures from seem to care about her when she’s rockin a bikini….

I was out of town this weekend and not near a computer. It was me and the trees and beer and it wasn’t much of a holiday just more of a random adventure that wasn’t very adventurous. I came back to find emails from some people about a comment someone left posing as me that was dissing one of the sites I like. I generally don’t censor my comments, I don’t edit my comments, I barely even read my comments because I don’t really care about what you have to say. I know that people like HornyLohanWanker write creepy shit that has probably put me on the FBI’s list of sites to monitor and I still give him free reign.

Either way, I don’t dis other sites in my comments, I do it within posts because I am uninspired most of the time and if I am going to bother writing anything, I generally do it in a post. I do like somethings some people are doing out there and the site in question is one of those sites that I dig as far as celeb shit goes and I refer people to check him out if they want to know what’s going on in the world of celebrity.

That said, I didn’t rip into him, I didn’t say he was a third rate version of me, because my site sucks so hard that a third rate version of me would be some weird homeless dude with a calculator and women’s panties on. I don’t really appreciate whoever it was who pretended to be me, you’re an asshole. Ripping into people on the internet is what I do, so I am not going to be a bitch and cry about that, but next time try to do it with your own name, or with some fake name that you like, or with the handle Perez Hilton, or something. Just don’t pretend to be me because I have to deal with the backlash and I only like dealing with backlash to shit I actually wrote.

Here’s that bitch Coleen McLoughlin in a bikini. The pictures are dull but so am I, so it’s a match made in Internet heaven.

Posted in:Bikini|Coleen McLoughlin|Unsorted

2007

25

Jun

I am – Demi Moore Nipples of the Day

88 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Demi Moore running into her hotel in a see through shirt. We’ve all seen her tits in that Stripper movie of hers so I am surprised it’s taken her this long to expose the fake fuckers again. I don’t think nipples are a big deal and I don’t understand why I am considered porn for openly posting nipples, but Americans are pretty fucking conservative, and thanks to Demi Moore I am considered a Smut Peddler….

I was talking to some dude in the US Army this weekend while wasted on the campsite about banging older ladies. He told me that whenever he goes out drinking he tries to find the places where cougars hang out. He just likes the way they fuck better. He was going on about how young girls get all attached to his shit and one night stands with them take a bit of work and getting them to leave the hotel he happens to be at that day is always awkward. They get hooked to him and want to spend the day with him, where as MILFs just want to get the fuck out and back to their husband and kids or if they are divorced want to avoid any emotional involvement because their hearts have already been broken once and now they just want to cum…

I never really had that mentality, I always thought that old chicks were kinda gross, but I guess finding someone to make my bed for me and act like my mom would have been a good thing, but since my wife never gets out of bed, there’s no real need for that.

Either way, here are her nipples until the paparazzi companies email me demanding I take them down. So take it all in motherfucker…cuz this shit’s porno according to google.

Posted in:Demi Moore|Nipples|See Through|See Thru|Unsorted

2007

25

Jun

I am – Kate Moss is Fucking Skinny of the Day

1 Comment »

There was a time when I would post pictures of an obviously anorexic looking girl and say how she’s fat…It would always get a rise out of people. Then that got boring and obvious, so I would write shit about normal looking girls and say how they should stop eating to look a little more like an anorexic lookin’ girls who are so fucking hot.

I guess I was just saying it as jokes but I do like small tits and I do like skinny girls because my wife is fucking disgustingly fat and it’s one of those things where you want what you don’t have, like dudes who date small tittied girls and they go to strip clubs and get lap dances with huge tittied girls, or dudes who date a short girl and go to the strip club to get dances with the tallest bitch in there, or dudes who date waspy girls and get dances from the hot black/spanish/asian girls…it’s just what people do.

It seems like people also like fucking girls who are the opposite of them, that’s why anytime you see an obese chick, her boyfriend is the tallest skinniest motherfucker out there, or the other way around. As a fat man, I know dating a fat chick causes masses problems in the bedroom and I am not just talking about breaking bedframes for being too heavy a load for it, but I am talking about trying to get the dick past the deep ass cheek doors.

Either way, I know I love Kate Moss and find her fucking hot. But this whole Amy Winehouse crystal meth addiction skinny obviously made her feel insecure about her weight so bitch had to do something about it and this is the result. I hate saying it, but she looks kinda disgusting, but at least she’s drinking a beer to make up for how bad her ass, legs and tits look now.

2007

25

Jun

I am – Christina Aguilera at a Press Conference in China With Her Big Ol’ Tits of the Day

2 Comments »

I was out of town all weekend, like Christina Aguilera, only she was in China promoting something with her fat pregnant tits and I was up in the woods with no internet connection.

It’s called a low cost family vacation and what you do is hitch a ride up to the country with your neighbor and set up a tent he provides in the backyard of the shitty trailer park camp ground he’s been going to for the last 25 years and spend 2 days drinking his beer and eating his potato chips but the most important thing is to leave your fat wife at home and not tell her where you are going because she’s fat and wouldn’t fit in the tent, or be able to bend down and crawl in, but also becaue she is annoying and would constantly want me to babysit her while I want to do other things like sleep all day, try to spy on other campers all night in hopes of listening to them bang.

I always hated camping, even though it was cheap. I just found the whole concept stupid and I like beds more than sleeping on the ground in the woods getting eating by mosquitoes. But I guess as time goes on you realize that being at one with nature while drinking free booze and watching young french girls in bikinis is a hell of a lot better than sitting at your shitbox apartment eating ground beef.

When I was a kid, I was sent to some bible camp by my “foster/adoptive” parents in texas. The fucking thing was a week of Jesus but on the second night there, I snuck out to wander the grounds and shit, I came across 2 of the councillors, who were probably 16 or 17 going at each other like rabid raccoons, bitch was sprawled on all fours and dude was slammin her like it was an order from god. He was committed to her shit, and I sat and watched as it was my first time seeing people bang and I was loving it. The rest of the week, when dudes told me to be good or filled me up with that religious propaganda I knew that they, like me, were full of shit….

I guess all these camping stories kinda suck, but so does the fact that Christina Aguilera is married and knocked up to some dude who may not be much of a looker, but is more successful than you’ll ever be, so I guess you can shit on him all you want or just accept that she is a wallet fucker and start earning for your chance in. Good news is that she doesn’t use condoms….

2007

25

Jun

I am – Christina Aguilera at a Press Conference in China With Her Big Ol' Tits of the Day

2 Comments »

I was out of town all weekend, like Christina Aguilera, only she was in China promoting something with her fat pregnant tits and I was up in the woods with no internet connection.

It’s called a low cost family vacation and what you do is hitch a ride up to the country with your neighbor and set up a tent he provides in the backyard of the shitty trailer park camp ground he’s been going to for the last 25 years and spend 2 days drinking his beer and eating his potato chips but the most important thing is to leave your fat wife at home and not tell her where you are going because she’s fat and wouldn’t fit in the tent, or be able to bend down and crawl in, but also becaue she is annoying and would constantly want me to babysit her while I want to do other things like sleep all day, try to spy on other campers all night in hopes of listening to them bang.

I always hated camping, even though it was cheap. I just found the whole concept stupid and I like beds more than sleeping on the ground in the woods getting eating by mosquitoes. But I guess as time goes on you realize that being at one with nature while drinking free booze and watching young french girls in bikinis is a hell of a lot better than sitting at your shitbox apartment eating ground beef.

When I was a kid, I was sent to some bible camp by my “foster/adoptive” parents in texas. The fucking thing was a week of Jesus but on the second night there, I snuck out to wander the grounds and shit, I came across 2 of the councillors, who were probably 16 or 17 going at each other like rabid raccoons, bitch was sprawled on all fours and dude was slammin her like it was an order from god. He was committed to her shit, and I sat and watched as it was my first time seeing people bang and I was loving it. The rest of the week, when dudes told me to be good or filled me up with that religious propaganda I knew that they, like me, were full of shit….

I guess all these camping stories kinda suck, but so does the fact that Christina Aguilera is married and knocked up to some dude who may not be much of a looker, but is more successful than you’ll ever be, so I guess you can shit on him all you want or just accept that she is a wallet fucker and start earning for your chance in. Good news is that she doesn’t use condoms….

2007

22

Jun

I am – Juggling Man of the Day

46 Comments »

I am all for showcasing talent on my website, even when that talent creeps the fuck out of me. I don’t know what turns a person into a juggler, but I am glad to know that there are some people out there who see a set of balls and grab them and teach themselves how to use them properly.

I remember hearing about a jugglers club a while ago, where a group of street people and hippy freaks would get together on friday nights to train and master the art of juggling. I was tempted to tip off the FBI because I am pretty sure that a man who juggles is a man who may be inclined to diddle little boys.

I am not saying that this dude is a ped, I wouldn’t want to get sued, I am just saying that maybe he likes hanging out with kids a little too much and from what I’ve been told, being able to dazzle them with a solid juggle is much more effective than asking them if they like candy or if they want to come see your puppy.

That said, here’s Mr Juggle Man, seen on the streets locally but I am sure you can book him to perform at kids birthday parties, school activity days, maybe even hire him as a babysitter or for your bachelor party, if you’re into this kind of thing. Remember there is nothing funny about pedophiles or abusing little kids and I am sure this dude’s a nice talented guy but there is something funny about a grown man who juggles….and he’s just going have to come to terms with that.

I put this song in the video because of that annoying juggling viral video that was huge a year ago. It’s my attempt at being funny. I never said I was good at it.

Posted in:Juggler|stepTV|Unsorted