DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Kendall Jenner’s Asshole Behind Thong of the Day

Dakota Johnson Not Fanning on a Slutty Hike of the Day

Leni Klum or her Friend has Her Ass Out in Tight Shorts of the Day

Christina Hendricks Still has her Tits of the Day

Anna Paulina Luna in her Bathing Suit of the Day

2021

Aug

The Ratio Tuesday of the Day

No Comments »

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, I asked some new wave feminist, probably about 10 years ago, what her RATIO was, because I thought it was a funny ice breaker, you know I got all kinds of pick-up lines…and this bitch went nuts…

You know, the kind of nuts that discounts a joke and reduces it to some misogynistic or woman hating, sexist and offensive storyline that it never was…

I think Andrew Cuomo would call it “ASCRIBING MEANING TO MY WORDS THAT WERE NEVER INTENDED”…which is what he said in his briefing on sexual harassment that was timed perfectly after NYC announced mandatory Vaccine passports, which is illegal….but yeah, that guy’s probably toast at this point, too much at stake in a woke and woman power, believe all women situation….not that I do politics…it was just relevant to my fucking story you cucks.

Anyway, my response to her was that asking a girl her ratio is not objectifying her, it’s just believing the science, and like some girls don’t like to fuck micro dicks even if it’s discrimination to only fuck the big dicks and to laugh at the small dicks….I like to fuck a girl with the right fucking ratio…it’s a free fucking country…

MOREOVER…sex is a physical act, so obviously PHYSICAL attributes contribute to that physical act…we can have mind sex if you’re deep enough, but if you’re not, I’d rather make sure you have a good ratio….

MOST IMPORTANTLY…it was just friendly banter, provoking, shit disturbing, cuz I knew she was a new wave feminist, which was not as popular as it is now, which is also code for a bullshit feminist who gets naked on the internet and calls it feminist…meaning, i wasn’t even trying to fuck her, it was small talk…

NOT TO MENTION…and maybe this is the most importantly, I preemptively already MOST IMPORTANTLY-ed….the RATIO is a dimensionless ratio of the circumference of the waist to that of the hips….I pulled that shit from MOTHERFUCKING fake information site WIKIPEDIA…but it’s relevant here…you can be a 42 inch waist fat pic, so long as your hips are 60 inches…motherfuckers will find you hot….the RATIO isn’t me asking “How much you weight fatty”….it’s asking “how feminine are you dyke”….

So there…SCIENCE…Believe it…and by that I mean actual science, where people prove something, and conduct further experiments to disprove it…and not the science they tell us is science which is “make a claim and call it science”….but you already KNOW that.

(more…)

Posted in:The Ratio

2021

Aug

Lea Michele Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

FAKE NEWS!!! Look at this propaganda put out by puppet Lea Michele, who I think we’ve done a good enough job investigative reporting on all these years, to determine that she was born a dude, and had parents who knew that girls had more longevity in acting, provided they get their start young enough, so re-gender her before she’s trendy and stick to the fucking storyline…

I saw SLEEPAWAY CAMP at a young enough age to know that this shit HAPPENS…yes, B-Movie Horror movies is my scientific foundation….I mean it’s probably more authentic and pure than the CDC…those people are fucking nuts…

Anyway, when she was pregnant, I was like ‘Sure sure’ we’ve seen actors play realistic pregnant chicks often….

Well today, she decided to pull some bullshit, happy mother posturing, where she continues to pretend she’s had a kid, this time by C-Section that is barely visible, in a story that’s been postured as being about C-Section empowerment, NORMALIZE C-sections, all while being bikini clickbait…it’s a win fucking win….and she even addresses you can’t see the c-section, but it’s there, because if they say it is there, and you can’t see it is there, then it must be there, because we don’t have brains, eyes, or an opinion of our own….TELL US WHAT TO THINK like the shills that we are..2+2=5!…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Lea Michele

2021

Aug

Julianne Hough Wet Ass of the Day

No Comments »

In a world where basic family values have been thrown out the fucking window, despite all the young people still being supported by their families, at least financially, so you’d think they’d feel less offended by the idea of straight people raising children together and doing things like celebrating Christmas together, but instead they’re restricted and pumped up as the new normal….

It’s not that I’m some weird Evangelical Christian, but I do like listen to Christian radio when driving, because it’s really not that bad, can even be inspiring….

It’s that I do think the general population was better off when they had god, instead of this meaningless existence they’ve chosen for themselves…

So when I see someone like Julianne Hough who has traded Mormonism for soulless Hollywood disgustingness because she either hated her church because she got molested by her brother in the church, they were uncomfortably too close to each other, or maybe she’s got some other reason, but I’ll think it’s because she doesn’t actually think Modest is the Hottest, since she’s a sexualized dancer who still poses half naked in slutty dancing poses, that could double as sex with Ryan Secrest, which she’s done poses…

It would be interesting to see at least one of the evil freaks of Hollywood being into something other than themselves, but this is what we’ve got, you can’t turn a society Atheist without their leaders being heathens I guess…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Julianne Hough

2021

Aug

Frida Aasen Braless of the Day

No Comments »

Frida Aasen’s got her titties out in this dress for a selfie, some bikini pics, I mean when you’re some hot blonde model bitch, you best be working it on social media better than the fat chicks and trolls who are doing the same fucking content, and surprisingly get the same fucking results, because that’s how society works…we have very low fucking standards and take what we can get….and more importantly are conditioned to not know the difference between quality and garbage….keep them MINDLESS…

Plus, they can’t celebrate a body like this, I mean a skinny as shit, long bodied, hot tit, with amazing faced model…that’s MEAN to the other girls, it pushed UNREALISTIC body expectations, even though I don’t expect any bitch to look like this, hence the excitement when I see this bitch look like this…not to mention how unrealistic can it be when you’ve got yourself a girl pulling it off…and there may be others out there….

What’s unrealistic is men getting pregnant, removing gender from Birth Certificates so we are all the genderless same, and all that other crazy shit that’s going on…but a hot thin model from a Nordic country being better than trolls…is bad..

I mean makes no sense to me…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Frida Aasen

2021

Aug

Dua Lipa Wet Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Dua Lipa was born in England and not in a Kosovo refugee camp where they housed all the Albanians I originally thought she was human trafficked from. I admit my lack of information on Dua Lipa, I am an old man, nothing these people do is impressive, and assuming I care enough to dig deep on some puppet used as a diversion, you’re wrong….not that you assume that, I am well aware no one reads this site, but I am speaking in broad strokes…high concept over here….

She does have a really irritating backstory that is perfect for this generation of losers….who celebrate being losers, or being victims, and coddle them, because it’s not their fault, even if it is…

So apparently she was told she couldn’t sing, yet now she’s a singer…what a story of victory….a real fucking hero…

Then she was told she was too fat to model, yet here she is in a bikini, and she consistently poses half naked, and doesn’t look too fat to model…has she met Ashley Graham or the other fat models making millions, she’s not one of those….BUT WHY NOT play victim, it makes people easier on your shitty fucking music…

Anyway, she came to fame from doing cover songs on YOUTUBE, it was that fucking easy to get famous back in 2010, because they’d clickbait off people searching the actual song, I’ve told many girls I was trying to get my dick inside to go to YOUTUBE to sing cover songs of hit songs, if they wanted to get famous…

I don’t think it works that way now, I don’t even think it works that way with DUA LIPA, because it can all be bough, placed and manipulated…meaning someone with connections saw her tits, said “We can do something good with these”….”let’s get her big on Youtube” and the public will think she’s organically famous and not some planted talent marketed to them….which she is, cuz nothing is fucking real, organic, it’s all PAY TO PLAY motherfuckers and this one happens to be on the receiving end…

It is funny, while looking at her self produced smut, to think just how uneventful and uninspiring she is…I mean is it because they all reduce themselves to bodies, tits and ass half naked for likes, or is it because their music actually sucks…

There was a time that some famous musicians were impressive and made actually good music, but I guess when you celebrate mediocrity, you get mediocrity….and here’s the world’s most famous popstar being mediocre.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Dua Lipa

2021

Aug

Tight Pant Tuesday of the Day

No Comments »

For those people who still leave the house, because why bother, everything you need can be shipped to you, and going outside is scary…you know there’s a virus out there, but we all know that you’ve been conditioned to be a reclusive weirdo for the last 10 years or more, I’ve been on the internet, I’ve seen all the social awkward, anti-going out, agoraphobic, stay safe in the comfort of your own home your parents pay rent for, or that are still your parents home, you spoiled cuck….

But yeah, if you leave the house, there are as many tight pants in real life as there is on the internet….just today I’ve seen two mom’s, one with huge tits who was also in a tight shirt, walking with their pants GRIPPING their asses so hard I could see the anus throbbing unless it was winking at me….it’s one of those was it constipation or was it saying hello moments…I also saw at least three girls who were under 30 in bike shorts so short I could see their feminist bush hanging out the sides and top…unless that was my imagination, but I definitely saw the pillow the bush forms…because bush is finally mainstream again…thanks for that…

All this to say…Tight Pants are a great trend for the whores of the world which happen to be all women…it’s not their fault, they’ve been groomed by the algorithm to be the distraction from what’s actually going on….true heroes.

(more…)

Posted in:Tight Pants

2021

Aug

Charli XCX Panty Flash of the Day

No Comments »

Obviously, I don’t trust any of these celebrity puppets or anything they say. They are mo different than us, besides having enough confidence in themselves or their perceived talent, to sell it the fuck out as soon as an opportunity presents itself, basically losing any semblance of their self, and repacking themselves as whatever they need to be to keep up the momentum….and all it takes is a large sum of money…

For example, Charli XCX is relatively unknown popstar, the kind of popstar who I think toured nightclubs not actual concert venues, you know super low level…but then I saw some hype around her buying someone like Calvin Harris, or another Rita Ora fucker’s house, which could probably be countless houses, and I am sure Charli XCX, also from the UK is not far behind her on that quest to the top…but yeah, as you can imagine, the Calvin Harris house was sold for fucking millions, which means these tits, and I guess panties being glashed in what is real high concept content production, has millions of dollars…

So an uneventful, barely famous, failure in pop music, is worth millions, because that’s how the system fucking works…reward them so long as they are on the right side and can push whatever needs to be bushed…selling the fucking soul and it happens on all levels because society is based on money…so you can only hope that inflation makes money worthless, so a lot of these idiots end up on the street busking, or offering cheap blowjobs in our dystopian hell, the way they were meant to…and when they do, let’s hope she keeps this outfit for the job cuz she’s looking way less fat than she used to be, maybe from fitness, or laxatives, or eating disorders, who cares…PANTY FLASH!

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Charli XCX

2021

Aug

Ashley Benson Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Ashley Benson’s a tween star who got her acting start when she was 14 years old….on Days of Our Lives, in what I call porn acting without the sex, but with all the middle aged women masturbating just as hard as a bunch of genderless weirdos jerking off to ass licking videos because they are also genderless, assuming people still watch Soap Operas, I mean white trash, people on disability, lazy fucks who don’t work but sit at home and collect government money and teens on sick days, or in the past year, sick years….have other options…this is not sick days from the 80s where I had no choice but to watch that low level shit…

Anyway, she quit acting for Bring It On, I don’t remember her being onthat show because her fame happened with Pretty Little Liars…a Disney produced, so you know she’s been groomed and it’s paid off nicely….then she did Spring Breakers and disappeared for 6 years but had that social media and I guess the money’s too good for the elite with their social media…to not post smut to their social media.

The good news is that she got Cara Delevingne’s skinny model gut flora from eating her ass, Lesbian Sex you know, and now she’s thinned the fuck out, unless this is some weird carnival mirror that slims her out, I’m not a scientist, just a celebrity reducing themselves to bikini pics commentator…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Ashley Benson

2021

Aug

Olivia Holt Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Olivia Holt must be a very important because she has 5 million instagram followers, and thanks to the vapid and narcissistic way these selfish humans, who are overcompensating by pretending to care about each other, or about society as a whole, or other marginalized people so long as they are maginalized white people, they’re still vapid, narcissistic and selfish fucks…so they are doing it for themselves…their virtuous concepts not so virtuous at all…it is all about self gain….

So Olivia Holt, and her 5 million instagram followers, who we will assume are real instagram followers and not bought from the Philippines for about 5,000 dollars, which is nothing compared to how much they get for. one post on their instagram, is more than just an instagram tit and ass in a bikini, even though girls have reduced themselves to being NOTHING more than tits and ass in a bikini on instagram….

Olivia Holt, along with being an instagram sensation, is a Disney Kid who moved to LA at the age of 12, because the GODS had plans for her / her parents wanted to sell her off to an evil industry to PROSPER…

Either way, she’s tits and ass in a bikini..the way all Disney Kids are….creepy, but she’s in her 20s…so not creepy at all…think of it as “well trained”…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Olivia Holt

2021

Aug

Tiny Tits Tuesday of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t know about you, but I like tits. I think tits are a wonderful thing to stare at until both parties feel awkward. I think tits are friendly even when their host body is not. I think tits are spiritua, like the kind of thing you could pray to and expect nothing but great things from, you know there’s no evil in tits, not even ugly tits or hot tits that want nothing to do with you, except maybe to grab your money to finance their titty life. I even like the function of titties because if I’m in a doomsday bunker, you best be sure I’ll have some lactating bitch I’ve abducted to provide the dairy….they smell better than cows and are more fuck to suck on than utters.

In loving tits, treating tits like my spirit guide, I can say, small tits are titties too and you should give them the attention they deserve because guess what….THEY ARE TITS.

(more…)

Posted in:TINY TITS