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Archive for the Breasts Category

2010

07

May

Tori Spelling Gets Felt Up for Mother’s Day of the Day

Nothing says “I love you mom, thanks for bringing me into the world and being here for me all these years” like grabbing her fucking tit as the paparazzi stage pictures that Wal-Mart would call the authorities about if we were still a “printed film” generation, back when inappropriate pictures of kids had to be run through a middle man, before the digital era made catching the motherfuckers a question of how well an FBI agent could mimic the typing style of a 7 year old in a Sponge Bob Square Pants chatroom…..but I digress…. this post isn’t about the disgusting dark world of kiddie porn, it’s about the beautiful bond a child has with his mother that I’ll never know because my mother died when I was a kid, but that I do know if she didn’t, I woulda made them tits mine for life, cuz I figure if you give me the shit as a kid, they are rightfully mine, otherwise you’re an indian giver, making Thanksgiving Dinner very awkward for the guests when my 40 year old ass busts out her tit for desert, but so beautiful for me, cuz mother and son bond is so strong that it just can’t be torn apart…especially when there’s titty involved…cuz I love tit and any excuse to play with tit so Tori Spelling’s kid has right idea, and really Tori Spelling should embrace it because she used to have the scariest fucking fake tits around so it’s nice to see someone finally appreciate the shit….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Breasts|Mother's Day|Tori Spelling

2009

13

Oct

Susan Surandon’s Slut Named Eva Amurri Topless and Stripping of the Day

Susan Surandon’s daughter’s name is Eva Amurri and she inherited her mom’s amazing tits, not that I remember Susan Surandon’s tits being amazing, but I do know that she is known for being busty, at least that’s what the weird Rocky Horror Picture re-enactment actors who come out of the woodwork every halloween in every city I’ve been in, have told me.

This is a clip of her showing that shit off on Californication, and they are pretty fucking amazing. Unfortunately, they don’t save her from her shitty face, but they are good enough to ignore her face where the camera didn’t do it for us….

Posted in:Breasts|Californication|Eva Amurri|Stripping

2009

09

Sep

Lindsay Lohan’s Lookin’ Hot When Shopping of the Day

Lindsay Lohan is in New York, probably for fashion week, you know, to feed her fashion addcition, and chronic spending habits, that I don’t really know why I know about, but know that being the first up on the newest designs or some shit is probably a big deal to her.

Sure, I don’t fully understand because if I had my choice I wouldn’t wear clothes out of the house, unfortunately everytime I try that, I get stopped before leaving my building by either a neighbor or janitor or whoever the fuck is hanging around cuz we are a compound of degenerate, jobless bums…..so the whole concept of spending money on clothes is insane to me to begin with and even when I was working a couple decades ago, before the whole alcoholism really took a hold of my life and dictated my future, I never fell for that levis crap back when they were only 50 dollars, so I don’t really grasp how anyone fall for the new scam and spend 1000 dollars on a pair of jeans, even if you’re a bored ex-starlet who gets a nice risidual check on DVD sales from the last movie she did 10 years ago and can afford it. Those gays over in Paris and their Jewish financiers are screwing you woman….and based on these pictures, I wouldn’t fuckin’ mind if I was…you know walk up all secretly from behind and slip it in, trust me you won’t feel a thing, and I probably won’t either, but at least it’ll be a story I can put on my tombstone.

Jesus “Bonertown” Martiez
1970 – 2080
“Here lies a soul officially died in 2000 when he got married to his fat wife, but was revived for a few hours after he surprise-sexed Lindsay Lohan in 2009, She didn’t know it happened, thanks to his small dick/her big vagina but he did and That’s All That Matters”

Enough of that stupidity, here are those hot pics of her…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Breasts|Legs|Lindsay Lohan

2009

17

Apr

Mary Cary is Disgusting of the Day

I guess Mary Cary proves that you don’t have to really have much going for you to do porn, you just have to be willing to suck dick, because there is no way that this bitch was every worth fucking, she just had big enough fake tits, blonde enough fake hair, and a willingness to get fucked on camera and sometimes that is enough, because I know I’ve put out ads to get girls to fuck on camera and the talent is usually pretty shitty, but when you need to get a video done you take what you get and that’s obviously how Mary Cary got her start.

Posted in:Breasts|cleavage|Mary Cary|Pig

2009

01

Apr

Boris Becker’s Big Breasted Skinny Assed Fiance of the Day

Her name is Sharley Kerssenberg and she’s a “model”. I guess by model they mean ex-stripper with the stupid fucking tits, which is more than I’d expect from a pro tennis player, since you know those white shorts make them look like breasts are the last thing on their mind, you know because they are so distracted thinking about the after game shower with their doubles partner. I used to work at a tennis club and people who play tennis piss me off. They treat the migrant work like shit and they can all go fuck themselves. Including Boris Becker, when he’s not too busy trying to overcompensate with tits to prove he’s not into ass fucking men.

Posted in:Boris Becker|Breasts|Sharlely Kerssenberg|Skinny Ass|Slut

2008

10

Sep

Hayden Panettiere’s Feeling Herself Up of the Day

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I am guessing these pictures came out yesterday and they are of Hayden Panettiere adjusting her tits since no one she knows wants to do it for her for fear that their friends will call them gay and you know how hard it is to live down that rumor. The truth is that I don’t really understand why she has to turn to masturbation when there are a lot of perverts with no standards out there and the truth is that we all grew up with Tonka Trucks and she’s just the real life female version only instead of filling her up with sand in the sandbox, you can fill her up with cum in her manly box, that is rumored to still be a box despite the fact that it’s got a six pack, knows how to do chin ups and can crush a can of beer with it’s clit hood, at least that’s the rumor.

Truth is this post is stupid and so am I so I’ll keep it up anyway because I like the direction I tried to go with this, I just didn’t really deliver as well as Hayden did with her titties, ya homo.

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Posted in:Breasts|Hayden Panettiere|Uncategorized

2008

10

Sep

Jessica Simpson’s Titties Play With Microphones of the Day

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Jessica Simpson rocks the mic like she rocks a dick and that’s not very well, otherwise she’d be the one pregnant and married and not her ugly, useless sister. I don’t really have anything else to say about that because the quality of Ashlee Simpson’s baby daddy is seriously questionable, but I know that the old maid of sister is jealous and that keeps me goin’ because other people’s pain is my fuel…

Posted in:Breasts|Jessica Simpson|Uncategorized

2007

27

Oct

I am – Blocked in Germany While Lohan Leaves Dance Studios of the Day

lindsay_lohan_dance_studio_top.jpg

So it looks like the Germans are like Paypal and don’t like me very much.

it seems like the ISP AliceDSL (www.alice-dsl.de) blocked access to www.drunkenstepfather.com

Since a week a two, I am not able to access one of my favorite websites and it’s only your website. I can perfectly access it through anonymizers such as Tor or by using other ISPs but this certain ISP blocks access to Drunkenstepfather.com.

Maybe you want to investigate further or make it public somehow…

I thought German’s were into shitting on each other and beating each other up. I didn’t realize that they were still Nazis, only instead of hating the non-aryans and fags, they hate me. Here are some pictures of Lohan leaving some dance studio prepping for some tango movie, because she probably hates me too, even though I plan on knocking her off the wagon with my dick. It may be small, limp and useless but that just means it’ll take more effort.


Related Posts:

Lohan’s Hot Tits
Lohan’s Hot Tits Again
Lohan Brings the Sunshine into My Day
Lindsay Lohan Touching Her Toes

Posted in:Breasts|Hot|Legs|Lindsay Lohan|Tits|Unsorted

2007

12

Oct

I am – Lindsay Lohan's Hot Tits of the Day

lindsay_lohan_tits_top.jpg

I think Lohan is the hottest thing out there. I don’t really know why, because she’s really not all that hot, but there’s just something about her that makes me feel like a natural woman and by natural woman I mean pervert who wants to see her naked.

I was talking to some girl last night who was wasted and she asked me if I liked to fuck donkeys because I was fat and Mexican looking, I responded by saying that I don’t fuck donkeys but I wouldn’t mind fucking her because her cunt probably smells like a barn, but in reality I am a married man and would much rather make out so I could taste the cum from the last 5 dudes she’s fucked that day on her mouth, not cuz I am into other dude’s cum, I am not gay like that, but I am all about sluts.

Here are some pictures of Lohan’s Big Fucking Tits in Utah where she’s moving for some snowboarding dude she met in rehab, but I am sure it’s just a phase and she’ll relapse soon enough, let’s just hope that relapse happens on my dick.


Related Posts:

Lohan Brings in the Sunshine
Lohan Gets a Pedicure
Lohan Touching Her Toes
Lohan Pickin’ Her Wedgie

Posted in:Blue Dress|Boobs|Breasts|Lindsay Lohan|Tits|Unsorted