I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

02

Feb

I am – Maria Menounos Superbowl Promotional Tits of the Day

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It’s Superbowl weekend and what better way to celebrate it than by sending some useless Entertainment Tonight reporter to some celebrity Superbowl promotional event. I know I am not the target market for the Superbowl, because I am not American and because I hate sports, but even if this bitch was doing this in a micro-bikini, I’d have no interest in watching it on TV.

I do have an interest in posting the pictures of the event, but I haven’t really figured out why. That’s enough of this.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

02

Feb

I am – Jessica Biel Likes to Eat of the Day

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Someone get this bitch a shovel. Either she hasn’t eaten in a month or she’s bulimic. I have an obese wife and even she takes smaller, more dainty bites than this man. I guess the benefit of having a girl witch a big mouth capacity and a firm grip like Biel probably has from all the weight lifting is that she could probably give a solid blowjob.

The problem with blowjobs is that all girls think they are good at them. I have only had a handful of good blowjobs in my life, but every blowjob was given by a girl who thought she gave the best blowjob in town. If a girl felt like she gave a shitty blowjob she’d work on making it better, she’s try a little harder but since everytime she does it all she gets is positive feedback, because after a dude cums, everything suddenly becomes amazing. That means with orgasm comes praise like “baby you’re amazing, that was the best blowjob ever”. Totally inflating the girl’s ego.

It’s like telling a fat girl she looks good in a low cut top cuz her tits spill out all over the place, when in reality you just like tits and she’s got plenty to offer, and now the bitch rocks a low-cut shirt everywhere she goes making the rest of us sick to our stomachs, cuz no one likes a fat chick in low-cut tops or spandex…well maybe not no one, but most people….

I think the difference between dudes giving head and girls giving head is that no matter how much box we’ve eaten, we never really know exactly what we’re doing. We know that we love it because it’s a vagina in our mouth and the chances of that happening to you is pretty unlikely, so when it does you just spend as much time as she gives you playing around down there….until the roofies wear off. Pervert….

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Unsorted

2007

02

Feb

I am – Christina and Mena Jewish Outfit of the Day

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I understand why Christina Aguilera is rockin’ the Jewish outfit of the day. She’s married to a Jewish rich guy and I am guessing she had to convert to make that shit happen, not that she needs his money, but rumor has it that he thanked his parents at his wedding for giving him a huge dick. Christina is one of those girls who needs a dude with a big dick. You can tell by her latina stance that she can take more cock that your local chicken farmer. She’s bow-legged cuz her vagina is so big, it gets in the way of standing like a normal person.

Speaking of big penis, I tried luring the stripper into banging one of my friends. I told her that he had a huge cock, when she asked how I knew, I told her he was in porn, thinking that since she’s a stripper, she’d dig a fellow sex trade person. Anyway, she asked for samples of his work, sent her big dick porn videos and now she’s all into him…She’s probably going to be disappointed, but at least has access to that ass cuz it’s not like she’ll kick him out once his dick is in her mouth…

Point of all this is to say that, if you want to get a girl, just send her big dick porn…If you’re wondering why I call this outfit the Jewish outfit, you’ll have to check this Olsen Post , Lohan Post and Trachtenberg Post . They are probably not good, but it’s where I coined the term. Submit that to wikipedia asshole…


Bonus: Mena Suvari pics rockin’ a Jewish Outfit of the Day

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2007

02

Feb

I am – Fergie Red Pants Crotch Grab of the Day

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I am guessing Fergie is on her period. She’s using her hand to adjust her tampon through her pants and wearing red just in case she spills out of her panties. I know most of you call her a tranny, and trannies can’t get their periods, even when they are post op, but I think she’s got a good body and I’d still stuff her like a Thanksgiving Turkey had I be given the opportunity. I would even do that shit without a rubber while on her rag after taking off her protective red pants, but when you’re impotent the need to fuck is so strong that everyone looks good.

When I was in highschool, I always wanted to witness the white pant period disaster. I once heard a story of a girl, the biggest loser in the school, who is probably now rich to the tits and bangin’ because that’s how irony works, but she apparently had her period in a pair of white pants and didn’t realize. She got out of her chair leaving a puddle behind and looking like she just got shot. One of the jocks pointed and started screaming how nasty she was and she ran to the bathroom crying. Since she lived far away from school she was forced to wear a garbage back the rest of the day. I didn’t see it first hand, so I don’t know if it really happened, but what I do know is that if you scroll down a bit, you will see some Fergie Pics…in red pants…because she’s on the rag….and she doesn’t want any spills. That’s the story I heard.

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2007

02

Feb

I am – Denise Richards Bikini Pics of the Day

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Denise Richards losing her tits is like Aretha Franklin losing her voice. Her career was solely based on those fuckers and I remember them being full and plentiful. Tits that you could feed ethopia with, and even if she wasn’t in the mood to feed the ethiopians, they could still jerk off to her. I don’t know if their mal-nourished bodies would have the ability to cum, I used to have enough trouble busting when I was on a meth binge and hadn’t eaten in 2 days, when these fuckers haven’t eating anything but sand in months….I guess maybe they’d have an old man orgasm where nothing more than a little dust cloud fills the air around their crotch. I would suggest that she stay away from that dust cuz I heard 80 percent of African seed is infected, even in it’s Ethopian dust form.

I don’t really know what I am talking about, but I do know that Richards’ has over-compensated to get her old body back after the pregnancies because her career relied on it, and now she’s lookin more and more like a dude than the bitch you all probably still jerk off too…Wild Things over and over, I went through this yesterday….Fuck you.

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2007

01

Feb

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I have been getting some fan emails lately, which is really weird for me because I have been doing this for the last 2 years and only got hate mail. It shattered my non-existant self esteem and made me feel more worthless than I am, and now all of a sudden, I am getting girls asking me to send them pictures of me cuz they think I am funny and want to see what I look like. They all say “I am shallow like that”.

I don’t know what it’s so hard to believe that I am ratty, I don’t wash, I am obese, and I wear soiled jogging pants. I don’t always brush my teeth, I rarely get off the couch and I am an expert sitter. I don’t have pictures on the internet, I don’t want to have pictures posted on the internet. One day, some asshole who knows me will probably post pictures of me on the internet, and that asshole will be hunted down and shot, so until you start sending me nude pics of you, cuz I am shallow too, don’t ask me for pics of me.

On that note, I found a new way to start an IM conversation….

drunkNstepfather
I just came all over myself for you

Christelle
what?

drunkNstepfather
Oops…wrong window…
Pretend you didn’t get that…

Christelle
Too late.

Here are today’s links…I was told I post too many, so I may be cutting it down to 10 a day. We’ll see. It all depends on you.

DJ Niki Belucci in FHM Naked
GO

Kate Moss Shoots Heroin in Agent Provocateur Lingerie
GO

I lied about the kate moss link but this is – Porn Video From The Past
GO

Cruise Shit Jewish Girl
GO

Kylie Minogue’s Boyfriend is Cheating on Her Cuz She Had Breast Cancer…
: GO

Britney Spears Reminds Me of the Cashier at the Dollar Store Near my House…
GO

Scarlett Johansson Behind the Scenes Scenes of the Fat Cinderella Shoot
GO

DJ AM – Gayer Than Bicycle Shorts Kisses a Tranny – Cuz This Bitch is Too Thick To Have a Vagina
GO

John Mayer and Jessica Simpson’s Love Bus
GO

How about another Donut Skinny…
GO

Candles of the Day
GO

Amy Winehouse Video – Fuck Me Pumps….
GO

Girls Flashing Compilation Video, Cuz Flashing Is What Girls Do If They Are Cool
GO

Haley Wilde is a New Teen Model You Probably Want to Fuck.
GO

Get Laid In Your Home Town By Horny Sluts I Doubt Are Real
GO

Carmen Electra Sex Tape…
GO

Bubble Bath Hot Tub Prank
GO

Hot tits baby
GO

Topless Female Boxing
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Here’s a Sharking Video, That’s When You Pull Down a Girls Panties On the Street
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Stripper Training Video
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Borat’s Fiance’s Thong Pictures
GO

Cocksucker Art from a Reader
GO

Zini’s stepLINK Submission of the Day – AMAZING
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Some Solid Eastern European Nudity, Because These Communists Can’t Afford Pants…
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Hipster Slut of the Day
GO

Lucy Clarkson is in Lingerie and Heels…an Outfit that Only Gets Boring When You’re Wife’s Rockin’ It…
GO

Some Sexy Blonde Shows Her Tits in Public For Money, Cuz She’s a Whore.
GO

Some Sunbathing Blond Starts Undressing…
GO

Big Breasted Japanese Chick Named Yoko Matsugane
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Tara Reid Takes Her Tits To Croatia and Fucks the Bartender Video….
GO

Vagina Picture of the Day – Hot Rash
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Josie Maran Bikini Pics, One of You Hacked My Gmail When I Called Her a Whore.Last March and I never got it back…
GO

A couple of days ago Regis and Kelly Did a Show on Tea Bagging…
GO

Ugly Topless Chick Agrees to Do a Gangbang
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Lohan is Text Messaging Brody Jenner for Sex and Burgers
GO

Apathetic Porn – It’s Pretty Funny even though it’s OLD but it’s new to me….
GO

Live Bloggin’ Fat Tyra
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

If you want to have sex and you have trouble landing girls, this smell will help acording to science and science is never wrong…
GO

Adriana Sklenarikova Karembeu In Her Wonder Bra
GO

Get a Valentine’s Day Gift that Will Get You Dumped
GO

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2007

01

Feb

I am – Meth Addict Before and After of the Day

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Someone sent this picture into me and Perez Hilton was CCed on the email. So I decided to post it, even though I have no idea who this girl is. It said “Meth Does A Body Good” which is true for a fat chick like this. I think she looks a lot better now, she got rid of her gunt, so whatever she took, she did good.

PS Her name is Amy Winehouse – This is what Zini had to say about her:

I’m watching a documentary about a festival on tv. There’s a filthy looking hippy with dreadlocks. He’s explaining to the film-maker that he is making tea inside the dance tent. He says, “I don’t see why I should be deprived of my favourite beverage… you know… just because… I’m like… in a club.”

Jesus,

what? you don’t know who Winehouse is? She got the bomb track with Ghostface innit. Yeah yeah she was pissed up rotten on Jools Holland man it was sensational. She’s fresh. And she’s a sexy jew.

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2007

01

Feb

I am – Sienna Miller's Sex Video of the Day

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I posted the Sienna Miller Sex Scenes from Factory Girl a long time ago. The Weinstein Company emailed me threatening a lawsuit if I didn’t take them down. I don’t have any money to fight the Weinstein company and even if I did no one would pay attention to the site because I was getting sued by them, so I took them down. I am testing my luck with Paris Hilton exposed shit, but at least that will get me some TV time.

Anyway, there’s all this buzz that the sex scene was real and who really gives a fuck. Sex scenes in movies have been real for the last 40 years. I remember reading Jack Nicholson’s sex scenes were always real. But since all you care I am posting the raipdshare link to this video HERE (again) (3 weeks later)

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

01

Feb

I am – Sienna Miller’s Sex Video of the Day

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I posted the Sienna Miller Sex Scenes from Factory Girl a long time ago. The Weinstein Company emailed me threatening a lawsuit if I didn’t take them down. I don’t have any money to fight the Weinstein company and even if I did no one would pay attention to the site because I was getting sued by them, so I took them down. I am testing my luck with Paris Hilton exposed shit, but at least that will get me some TV time.

Anyway, there’s all this buzz that the sex scene was real and who really gives a fuck. Sex scenes in movies have been real for the last 40 years. I remember reading Jack Nicholson’s sex scenes were always real. But since all you care I am posting the raipdshare link to this video HERE (again) (3 weeks later)

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

01

Feb

I am – Bijou Phillips Ass of the Day

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We all know this bitch from a few years ago, when she was all over the fucking press for being Paris’ sidekick and being a hipster model. She’s another kid of a rockstar, if Wilson Philips is considered rock and roll and she used to and do mass amounts of drugs off Carnie Wilson’s Fat Ass while sucking on Sean Lennon’s little asian cock.

That’s not the point, the point is that I always thought she got AIDS from intravenous drug use on the set of BULLY, but after seeing this pictures from Paris Exposed, I can only assume it was from being a little loose in the hips if you know what I mean, if you don’t know what I mean, you’re an idiot, cuz I was just trying to find a nice way to say her cunt was open from business, and that it didn’t care who came in for a visit.

The funniest thing about celebrities is that hey don’t use condoms, because condoms are for common folks. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of your favorite stars were Magic Johnsonning on their AIDS tests. Read this Joe Francis Howard Stern Recap via IDLYITW.

Joe Francis called in to Howard this morning to “discuss” his and Paris’s pending lawsuit against Parisexposed.com. While he claims he and Paris are not behind the leak, he mentioned the website name numerous times, and Robin and Howard didn’t buy it for a minute. Joe sounded extremely drugged up, or hungover, or still drunk?? But then again it was around 8 a.m. Howard time, 5 a.m. Hollywood time…Howard got him to admit that Paris was the best blowjob he’d ever received. When asked who gave the better bj, Paris or Lindsey, Joe responded, “Paris,” even though a few statements earlier he claimed, “Lindsey and I are just friends.” When asked who was the worst in bed of all the famous chicks he’s slept with (insinuated in this interview: Paris, Lindsey, Kimbo Stewart, Tara Reid) he said Tara was the worst, and when Howard asked why, he went silent again. When asked to explain why he claimed Tara was so bad, he wouldn’t come out and say it, but merely mumbled, “…well I only used protection with her, so maybe that made it less pleasurable…” Howard then began asking more leading questions like, “So she just laid there?” or “Was it because she had a big smelly loose vagina?” Joe responded, “More or less, yeah.” To conclude such highbrow topics, Joe stated, “Well I don’t plan on having sex with Paris again, especially after seeing the medical documents on the site.”

Either way, she is dating Hyde from That 70′s Show, probably because she gave him the germ and it’s hard finding another AIDs lover. I don’t know if she actually has Aids, that’s just the story I heard.

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2007

01

Feb

I am – Nicole Richie Rumor of the Day

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DJ AM made Nicole Richie lose all that weight because it made his little dick looked bigger against her non-existent ass. At least that’s the story I heard. I also heard that Nicole Richie’s uterus fell out of her one night when they were having sex and DJ AM was so proud because he didn’t think he could reach that deep, but it turned out it was because she had no more muscle tone to keep it in. I guess what it comes down to is that she starved herself and the only thing she ate was cocaine (see paris exposed posts) all under DJ AM’s supervision. I always thought she did it cuz he liked little boys, but what do I know….

Here are some useless pics of Nicole Richie an it looks like she’s been eating a few too many ice cream cones….Fatty.

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2007

01

Feb

I am – Christina Aguilera Down Shit Pic of the Day

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Justin Timberlake’s concert was here last night. I didn’t go and either did my stepdaughters, no thanks to you. The rumor on the street was that he was out partying for his birthday after the show. I have to admit that I was tempted to go out there and get pics of him a Britney making out in the club or pics of whoever the slut he flew in for a little private cake eating, but I don’t have any hook-ups and wouldn’t know where to look. I also don’t have a digital camera or an ability to get accepted into the clubs he’d be at, only because I like wearing my soiled jogging pants and that’s not up to code.

What is up to code are these Aguilera pics that were probably taken a long time ago. You can see her nipples and that’s all I really need to make me happy. I am pretty easy to please, I am just not very good at pleasing you.

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2007

01

Feb

I am – Denise Richards Bikini Pics of the Day

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There’s something funny about seeing a girl you used to bang yourself to everynight before going to sleep, you know playing that threesome scene from the one movie she was in over and over again but only finding yourself really getting into your jerk off session when Kevin Bacon showed you his dick. It’s your gym locker room fantasy, behind closed doors no one is judging you, so wondering if you’re a queer is a waste of your time, you obviously are one.

Reality is she looks hot from the front. She’s had 2 kids and Charlie Sheen’s STDs and she’s still rockin a tight body and she’s probably 40. The problem with double kids besides the obvious vaginal wound is that her ass will never get the bounce that it once had back. Lookin at it reminds me of the time I slept with a senior citizen. That may sound gross but it was probably the best 2 years of my life, non stop baked goods, blowjobs and visits with the grandkids….

Either way, here are those pics.

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2007

01

Feb

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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In running a blog with 15 readers, I end up having a major influence on the world. One of those influences is my “Gayer Than Bicycle Shorts” Expression that has made it’s way onto Wikipedia


DJ AM Publicly Denies that He Is Gayer Than Bicycle Shorts on Wikipedia under “appearances”
GO

And motivated readers to write things like this to me:

Hi Drunken Stepfather,

first of all im a big reader of yours … loved your site since day one ….

Secondly for the record … im not a poofter …. however .. im in some trouble …. i ride my bike alot … i also am starting to ride with other ppl … 80% of these ppl wear bicycle shorts …. ive been advised to get some … but i cant bring myself to do so …

would perhaps buying some of those 3/4 longs called skins and wearing them under some shorts .. would this still be classed as gay ? or is this semi okay – pardon the pun

Avid Reader

I am not a bicycle shorts expert, but I think it’s safe to say that anything spandex is gay…Here are my links…


Alicia Keys Has A Hairy Chest…Nothing You’re Not Used To…HOMO
GO

Very Classy Hair Dirtbag
GO

A Little Compilation Clip From The Paris Exposed Site…
GO

Sienna Miller’s Sex Scene in Factory Girl is Real
GO

Ines Cudna is Working Out Topless
GO

A Little Erotic Dance Video To Get You Through The Night
GO

Some Underwater Naked Swimming Video
GO

Tyra addresses the unflattering bathing suit photos recently in the Same Fat Bathing Suit
GO

Katie Price Big Titties
GO

I used to be a bucket drummer, but wasn’t making money doing that either…I was better than this show off.
GO

This dude’s paintings are of panty covered asses, the kind of art I like..
GO

Bill Gates on the Daily Show
GO

Arnold Schwartznegger Lettin Loose in Rio in the Late 70′s Early 80′s Video
GO

Sienna Miller Swears on the Today Show Cuz She’s a Bad Girl and I love Bad Girls
GO

See-Through Weather Girl Video
GO

Anna Kournikova From Russia To Cuba / Miami
GO

Angelina Jolie Is Being Ripped Off By Jen’s Plastic Surgeon
GO

Lilly Allen Video – I hate that all the bloggers are eating this bitch up, even though there’s enough of her fat ass to go around…
GO

Kelly Hu See Through
GO

User Generated Content Commercial That Made me Laugh and I hate stupid commercials…
GO

Rage Against the Machine Video for All You Assholes Who Beat Your Wives.
GO

A Jew, Some Background Music and White Chicks and Gang Signs
GO

Big Brother Shower Sex Video of the Day
GO

This is the Most Popular Video in Mexico, Proving that We’re Not Very Funny, We’re Just Mean
GO

Have I posted this Lookin’ Good Sweetheart Yet?
GO

Acid Barbie Shows Her Bikini Body
GO

Teenage Pregnancy Picture of the Day
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Michael Alig Interview
GO

Girl in Her Underwear
GO

Collien Fernandes Cures The Flu? Whatever the fuck that means….
GO

Ivanka Trump Takes Her Tits To The Tonight Show
GO

A Group of Asian Girls Teasing You
GO

Some Chick I’ve Never Heard of Named Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace -Who Is Probably Famous in Europe Panty Upskirt
GO

Kristina Loken Gallery – I don’t know who she is
GO

Eye of the Tiger Video That Annoys me
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Joan Rivers and The Club Kids Videos
GO

Nice Shoes…
GO

Flickr Surprise of the Day
GO

Hot Bitch Singing….
GO

Pay To Get Sex Without Hiring a Hooker, It’s a solid investment for your penis….
GO

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2007

31

Jan

I am – Pete Doherty Shooting Up Video

Pete Doherty is a rockstar proven by the fact that he shoots heroin and dates supermodels. People have been shooting up for a long fucking time so who gives the fuck if he’s an addict, he probably has a better life than you do and if he dies prematurely, he’s already seen Kate Moss’ cunt up close and some of you would probably die for that. I don’t like drugs, I don’t like that celeb drug use is hitting the mainstream, I liked it better when they did it behind closed doors, because the last think we need is kids shooting up to be like Nicole Richie. Point is drugs aren’t cool but Pete Doherty is, but not cool enough to want to be like. If you know what I mean…

More info on the tape HERE

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