I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

15

Jun

Djibril Cisse and his Wife Jude Littler in a Bikini of the Day

I am trying to keep my site alive by posting obscure people as long as they are in a bikini, after going so low as posting some dude named Djibril Cisse and his wife Jude Littler in their bikini, who knows what’s fuckin’ next for me, but I’ll give you a hint in the direction it’s going and that’s me and my wife in our bikinis, cuz you know what, I’m about as relevant in your life as this fucker is in my life.

This is some interracial or IRC shit that would not go down if motherfucker was still living in the fuckin jungle running after lions instead of soccer balls, that’s not racist, that’s based on whatever the fuck his name is and whatever the fuck his hairstyle and tattoo choices are, shit’s gotta be decisions made by someone raised by fuckin’ gorillas in the Congo, or some shit. But even if he worked as a drug dealer or 4 jobs struggling to pay for his 8 kids with 8 different women. My bet is on this bitch being a gold digger status whore….

But I could be wrong…

OHHHHHH SHITTTTTT THEY BUMPED INTO SHAUNA SAND!!!! LUCKY LUCKY LUCK PEOPLE !!!! SOME PEOPLE JUST HAVE IT ALL…..

Posted in:Djibril Cisse|Jude Littler

2009

15

Jun

Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Lookin’ Old of the DAy

There’s something really not magical about aging. If anything shit is pretty fucking depressing. There’s that whole closer to death bullshit, that gets me every birthday that comes and goes, but I’m more concerned about the death of someone’s sex appeak.

I know so many dudes who were in love with this bitch when she was comin’ up, they would talk about how she was the hottest pussy in Hollywood, they’d go on about her slammin’ tits, which would be interesting, if tits weren’t just a mechanism for closet case dudes to re-assure themselves by obsessing over tits that they aren’t gay, but there was always something about her that didn’t interest me and now that she’s older, sloppier and rugged, she’s really something about her that doesn’t interest me and I can pinpoint exactly what it is.

Here are the boring pics for those of you unable to move the fuck on.

Posted in:Jennifer Love Hewitt|old

2009

15

Jun

Hayden Panettiere’s Short Legs of the Day

UGGs make girls look like they have shorter legs than they do, so when they are on thin, long legged, rich girls I want to fuck, shit looks dope, but when you get a short, boxy, muscular troll with no neck rockin’ the shit, because she has lots of money and feels she has every right to dress with the trends, without realizing the trends are doin’ bad things for her, cuz she thinks she is hot and has it going on, like the thin long legged, righ girls I want to fuck, since she’s “Hayden Fuckin’ Panettiere”, but instead looks like my uncle, who used to walk around on his knees, with shoes to look like a midget, to lighten the mood and make me laugh, before sticking his dick in my mouth.

Here’s Hayden and her short legs….

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|Legs

2009

15

Jun

Fergie is Topless in Allure Magazine of the Day

Fergie is showing off the amazing power of Photoshop while topless in Allure.

I hate photoshop, because with online courses, fat and ugly chicks can trick me. Just a couple of weeks ago, I was talking to some girl on facebook because I got nothing else going for me and she told me she was a model. I went through her pictures and bitch looked pretty fucking good, I didn’t agree to meet her, cuz I hate internet pussy the most, but I did find out what bar she was at and pulled a little creeper move on her to see what I was actually dealing with because I knew it was too good to be true, she was just too eager to be hot and it turned out it was cuz bitch had one of those port stain birthmarks on half her face and looked like she was the Phantom of the Opera all the time, something she was pretty good at erasing in post production.

Not that it matters, I’m still gonna fuck her, but that’s just because I like port after every meal, it makes me feel luxurious and Portuguese.

Here’s Fergie.

Here’s some pictures of Fergie a little less boring, a little less photoshopped and a lot more rough around the fuckin’ edges.

Posted in:Allure|Fergie|Topless

2009

15

Jun

Are these videos for Real of the Day?

This is a video by some dude named Imann Faith, who is some Arab dude and I watched it along with a lot other people, so I guess he’s some kind of hero in Muslim countries, because they are all about supporting their own people or some shit, I mean when they aren’t blowing themselves up, but when I watched it I realized that this can not be for real, you have to watch it until you see the dude who sings the chorus, if they didn’t just pull him out of one of those Wayan Brother’s comedies, where he’s the foreign exchange student trying to fit in by dressing so hip hop it’s too hip hop and becomes a joke, shit’s fuckin’ comedy. Seriously the cheesiest music I’ve seen in a while. Good times.

BONUS VIDEO:

Here’s some self produced white rapper who starts his song with a line from Superbad, showing where his originality lies and gives an idea of where this shit is gonna go, but he gets decent lookin girls in their bikinis simulating dick suckin’ for the video, so frat boys everywhere can start listening to this and throwin’ their fists up while chanting it as it comes on in the club, and I really hope this shit doesn’t end up in places I go, cuz I find this kind of thing tedious and not funny at all, but I do it for the Frat Boys….

Posted in:Bad Videos|Rap

2009

15

Jun

Mel B in Her Bikini of the Day

I remember the first time I didn’t get hard for a chick. It was a few years ago and she was pretty fit, like Mel B, only less testicles and more vagina. She was pretty hot and we were pretty drunk and my wife was pretty asleep in the next room. I wasn’t sure how I got her back to my place, but I had and when I was done eating her out for an hour, probably something that was all part of the deal, she went down on me and I couldn’t get hard for the life of me. Here I was with this hot brunette body that had no business being with me and I couldn’t even get anything to happen to take full advantage, and the only good thing about that is that after she left disappointed a disgusting fat guy couldn’t get off to her, she became a fixture in my life for 6 months. She’d keep coming over to prove herself, cuz I guess it really messed with her head, I’d be invited to her place and the whole time I kept up the impotency, making her try harder and harder and harder to get me hard, until that horrible day I was sober enough for it to happen, where we had miserable sex and she got what she wanted, proof that I didn’t think I was too good for her.

That’s go nothing to do with Mel B and her bikini, other than the fact that I have a feeling she doesn’t have that issue, cuz her boners are virile….show off.

Posted in:Bikini|Mel B

2009

15

Jun

Megan Fox Takeover Post of the Day

Everyone loves Megan Fox and she’s starting to grow on me. Maybe as time goes on, I get more and more perverted and less and less delusional about what a hot piece of pussy should look like, because being annoyed at the fact she’s had plastic surgery shouldn’t even be a factor in my feelings towards her, because I don’t know her, plastic surgery made her better than she was and as a man it is my responsibility to fuck her. The only time I shouldn’t be down with plastic surgery is when they are removing dicks, removing tits, or trying to fix burn victims, cuz no matter how much surgery burn victims get, they still look like like horror movie creatures and that’s not supposed to sound insensitive, it’s supposed to sound true.

Here’s some pictures of some Megan Fox cameltoe action….

Here’s some Megan Fox with her titties busting out of her shirt….

Posted in:Megan Fox|Takeover

2009

15

Jun

Rumored Rihanna Sex Tape

This video is going around the internet today, so I have to post it, but I was fighting with myself about it, because their is a myspace profile plastered on the motherfuckin’ thing, and that leads me to believe someone’s trying to get a fake scandal to go viral to make their bullshit get noticed, a pretty simple fuckin strategy, but something that really fucking annoys me. I know this isn’t Rihanna. It doesn’t even look like Rihanna and the lies better get these motherfuckers shut the fuck down and that is the only reason I am trying to draw attention to it, cuz I hope some Myspace moderator sees it and gets his revenge on this asshole who got my hopes up.

Here are some pictures of the Real Rihanna in New York from the past few days…

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Posted in:Rihanna|Sex Tape

2009

15

Jun

Anna Beatriz Barros’ Back of the Day

Here’s a little Victoria Secret back for the guys out there who get off to hot chicks showing off their backs, I’m a little more into vagina personally, I don’t really need that sexually suggestive tease to get me exicted, I need spread eagled vagina quivering like a scared child crying for its mother. I don’t really know what that means, but it made me laugh and I guess this site is all about me. Yay.

Posted in:Anna Beatriz Barros|Back

2009

15

Jun

Anna Paquin in Some True Blood Sex Scene of the Day

I haven’t got into the whole True Blood shit. I am more of a drinker than a TV person and I don’t own a TV because I am the kind of drinker her likes to put all the little money I have into it. I also never really cared for the whole vampire bullshit, I think the whole vampire thing makes girls cum more than it does for guys, I don’t really know why, but I find the whole living forever fantasy shit just that…shit…while girls find it romantic or erotic or something. It doesn’t matter, but what does is that the show has sex scenes and in this specific sex scene is child star Anna Paquin naked with her real life boyfriend and the whole thing didn’t do much for me, but it may do something for you.

Posted in:Anna Paquin|True Blod

2009

15

Jun

Suzanne Somers is Still Alive of the Day

If you’re anything like me, you’ve jerked off to Suzanne Somers at various points in her career, whether it be her Playboy shoot in the 70s, her role on Three’s Company, her late night infomercials with her thighmaster bullshit, so I figured you’d appreciate getting off to her now, in her sunset years, you know as the curtain slowly closes on her, with her amazing hot leather skin, her menopausal mid-section and vagina with the inability to get pregnant, but who really wants that dried up snail, when she’s got those full lips that have been on a whole lot of dick in their years, not to mention the fact that she gets a senior discount on public transit, at the movies and even at the pharmacy by my house, makin’ her all the more amazing. Enjoy.

Posted in:Alive|Suzanne Somers

2009

15

Jun

Shauna Sand’s and her Purse Carrier Bikini Pictures of the Day

Shauna Sand has this hired boy toy who I guess she uses to make herself feel like she’s still got it going on. You know, like the hot Playboy bunny who I guess she once was. The kind of girl who could convince any man to stick their dick inside her, because I guess she doesn’t realize that any girl can get any guy to fuck them, they just have to play the situation right, since most guys are opportunists and if they aren’t fucking someone else that specific time, or if they aren’t these pussy whipped married types, they will go along with it, just because sex is better than masturbating, even if the girl is a monster, it is not in us to turn down vagina.

That said, whenever I see these pictures of Shauna Sand and this chiseled, tanned guy carrying her purse, I get freaked out, it looks so fuckin’ plastic and robotic, maybe even medicated and depressing. It would make sense that this guy is gay and trying to get a head, or maybe even an import from another country, and despite being and an immigrant, can stomach her tight body, because it’s all for a bigger cause, and she looks like a tranny he used to fuck back home in Brazil or some shit, but he just can’t stomach her pussy, cuz like an asshole, it is dry and needs lube, but unlike an ashhole it is loose and has a little too much slack to trick yourself into thinking you’re not in a cunt.

Here are the pics.

Posted in:Bikini|Shauna Sand|Tits

2009

15

Jun

Amy Winehouse in her Bikini Turnin’ Me On of the Day

I was just doing my morning ritual of watching a 30 minute infomercial on leprosy, as I tend to do as often as I can, because there’s nothing more inspiring to get my day started with some rotting, mangled limbs. The weirdest thing about it is that they were playing the shit on the McDonald’s TVs I get my fix from, making my McMuffin scraps I convinced an old lady to buy me, by helping myself to her change purse and telling her I’d fuck her up if she complained, which I think turned her on, because old ladies tend to not get dick, but still have needs, so threatening them with fucking, is probably not the right approach, but none of that matters, what does matter is that Amy Winehouse in a bikini, was the perfect follow up to the leper commercial, because like a leper, parts of her are rotting, mangled and falling off. In her case it is her vagina and seeing her up in this other girl brings me thoughts of them bumping box together with flakes of skin, wetness and the smell of death filling the room, and that is fucking inspiring…

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Bikini|Hot

2009

13

Jun

stepLINKS of the Day

My friend gave me Viagra yesterday. I wasn’t sure if he was coming onto me, but he seemed to think it would change my fucking life, especially if I managed to get a decent lookin whore to invite me back to her house, you know since I have a fat pig who made me impotent out of necessity at my house, so I’m going to give shit a try this weekend and will have a full report on Monday. I am just hoping I don’t pop it like I did with the E pill a few years ago, midday, leaving me in the middle of the fuckin’ street with a boner that just won’t go away, even though it’d make a funny viral video, but I think those dudes at Jackass already did that one…

I am still drunk from last night, it was eventful and inspiring and I hope to share the revelations I had with you one day soon.

I didn’t hang with the Olsen Twin or Hudgens, who are in Montreal. I guess they think they are too good for me. Cunts.

Here are my stepLINKS…

Spend Your Weekend Doing What I Will Be Doing
GO

Betty is Pretty Much Amazing
GO

Boston Hates A-Rod
GO

OLIVA MUNN’S HOTTEST PICS
GO

It Does a Body Good
GO

Ashley Greene Has Some Cleavage
GO

Breakfast Haiku
GO

Megan Fox Should Stop Fucking Her Thumb and Stick It in My Ass Instead
GO

How To: Make an 80’s Action Movie
GO

Doggystyle: A Love Story
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Stephan Baldwin is Probably Gonna Be Homeless Very Soon
GO

Cristino Ronaldo’s Herpe Fest with Paris Hilton is Over Already I Guess
GO

Ahh Let’s Try to Take a Peek At Britney’s Vadge Again
GO

Fergie Upskirt Throwback
GO

Some Megan Fox Photoshoot Outtakes
GO

I Love Eva Mendes
GO

I Wasn’t Aware Carrie Underwood Was a Lesbian. Lesbian Play softball, Right?
GO

Michael Douglas is Starting to Look Downright Scary
GO

What Percentage of Girls Are Bi-Sexual Anyways?
GO

Ashley Bulgaris is Sexy
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Loser Girl Goes Into Shock When She Gets Pierced – VIDEO
GO

Big Tits Get Showered
GO

Nevena, Madi and Candi Get It On
GO

Catrina and The Fucking Machines
GO

The African Baby Snatcher Is Officially Triumphant!
GO

Obama Writes Note To Kid’s Teacher
GO

She’s One Nasty Slut
GO

Miranda Kerr Bikini Pics
GO

Christina Aguilera Dress Cleavage
GO

Lesbian girls in Action
GO

Zuzana Has Some Big Ol’ Tits
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Yeah, I’d Probably fuck Annalynne McCord
GO

kellemarie and sunny leone lesbian lick-fest
GO

DON’T BUY THE LICORICE!!!
GO

The Girls of American Apparel
GO

Nikki Benz is in a Gold Bikini. Then Takes it Off
GO

amanda Paige Playboy Throwback
GO

Bouncer Tosses Girls Out on Their Ass
GO

Double Decker Taco
GO

The Sun is Setting on Heidi Montag’s 15 Minutes of Fame, Thank God
GO

I Nominate Violet
GO

Easy Office Girl
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

12

Jun

Mariah Carey’s Luggage Arrives in London of the Day

If you thought your bitch wife was high maintenance because she packed 5 pounds over the airline limit, or because it takes her an hour to get ready everytime you leave the fucking house, be happy she’s not a budding young starlet, or a weathered up diva, or even a bitch who thinks she’s fuckin’ Mariah Carey, because this level of work that goes into a trip to London pretty much disgusts me, seriously. It is just representative of everything that’s wrong in this superficial, materialistic, disgusting world, and maybe Mariah should be spending less money shipping her gear overseas and more money on liposuction cuz despite all the clothes, make-up, assistants and professionals, she’s still a fat pig.

To make things worse, she even has a hired black dude doing the dirty work, while a fat white guy watches, like some kind of racist plantation owner in the 1800s. Slave driving racist is what she is, half black or not, bitch forgot her fucking roots. Any self-respecting successful black person knows to hire a white man to be the fuckin’ slave, that’s the sweet smell of fucking success….

Posted in:Fat|High Maintenance|Mariah Carey