I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2010

24

Feb

Bar Refaeli Does Jersey Shore in a Bikini of the Day

These are pictures of Bar Refaeli doing a photoshoot for Interview Magazine in a bikini with Mike “The Situation” of Jersey Shore and the whole thing is pretty fucking funny, not because Bar Refaeli is doing Interview magazine in a bikini, that shits just obvious and part of what she does, but because the cast of Jersey Shore are included in this, despite being one of the bigger jokes America has thrown at us in recent years, I mean other than George Bush, the Iraqi war and Ugly Betty…I’m sure these dudes are loving every second of it and really who wouldn’t, rockin’ a supermodel on your shoulders, where her pussy is rubbin up against your neck, is a serious step up from the fat Jersey chicks they are used to. So these pictures are a celebration and bring hope that ANYTHING is fucking possible…

Posted in:Bar Refaeli|Bikini

2010

23

Feb

stepLINKS of the Day

Marie Eve Martinez here.

I walked into our disgusting apartment at around 4:30 today to see Jesus stumbling around in a drunk stupor that could only means it’s Tuesday, because Tuesday afternoon drunk wreaks of desperation of trying to get through the week, while Friday afternoon drunk is more rejoiceful thanks to the onset of the coming weekend. Defining Jesus’ level and type of drunk is less science and more art, if you ask me, which you didn’t.

He mumbled something about going Germans and the Olympics, shoved his way past me, and went out the door leaving it open behind him. In any event, he will probably return tomorrow with some story about a Geman whore shitting all over his face in exhange for a sac of chocolate coins he mistook for Gold medals he could hawk on ebay.

Until some sort of story materializes, click these links.

Hugs and Kisses

Marie-Eve Martinez

Bar Rafaeli is a Fucking Whore
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Now THAT’S What I Call a Sore Loser
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Unexpected & Accidental Celebrity Sex Icons
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Cheaper Than a Tuesday Night Movie
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Abigail Clancy Hotness
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In Case You Forgot: Aubrey O’Day Is Really Slutty
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I Love a Good World of Warcraft Freakout – VIDEO
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Sienna Miller Pantyhose Upskirt
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Juggalo News – VIDEO
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Renee Zelwegger and Her Squinty Eyes Are Lookin Half Bangable
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Ebony Pussy on the Cam – VIDEO
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Celebrity Rehab: Family Edition
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Miley Cyrus is a Cheap Hooker of the Day
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Nude Sledding in Germany – VIDEO
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Meet Monika. She’s Worth It
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The Game In Studio With Travis Barker…
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Topless Sonia Wild Will Drive You Well, Wild
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Kristen Stewart is Like a Less Hot Version of Wednesday Adams
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Prinzzess Sasha
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Olivia Wilde in ELLE Magazine, March 2010
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Alexis Carpi Is Perfect In A Bikini
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Delaware Pediatrician Accused Of Molesting Over 100 Children, Including Babies!!!
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Whitney Houstan, We Have a Problem
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Cute Teen Has Some Alone Time
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Jimmy Kimmel’s Take on We Are the World for Haiti – VIDEO
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OMG SPENCER PRATT I HATE YOU
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Kesha, WTF Are You Wearing?
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Web Came Fail – VIDEO
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Stripfilm of the Day
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Rhian Sugden Naughty Nudes
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Teen Babe Yulia Studio Shoot
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WTF Bikini – Gallery
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Janet Jackson, What the Fuck Happened to My Face
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Follow Me, Fuckers!
FACEBOOK and TWITTER

BONUS – RAY J On A Magazine Cover With Booty
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Posted in:Uncategorized

2010

23

Feb

Plenty of Fish Spokesperson of the Day

There are three things you can learn from this Indiana man and his use of Plenty of Fish. The first being that it is a place where you can get easy fucking pussy because the second a bitch signs up to the shit, she is ready for cock. That is why anyone you know who has no standards will tell you just how good the site is for getting laid….The second thing you can learn from this is that with easy pussy comes dirty pussy cuz they aren’t out there insisting on using condoms…the third thing you can learn from this is that if you’re HIV positive they can arrest you for just trying to have a good time because you are considered a deadly weapon, but not the cool kind everyone wants to play with, but the bad kind that no one wants to shake hands or share drinks with…..as if getting HIV wasn’t bad enough…even though you can leave 30 years with the shit…now they gotta stop the fun even though you got HIV so you wouldn’t need to use condoms anymore cuz you got the worst of it, in some catch 22 bullshit….I guess this is just more proof that life sucks for more people than just me….

Posted in:HIV|Plenty of Fish

2010

23

Feb

Rumer Willis and Her Disgusting See Thru Shirt of the Day

Rumer Willis is the thing that made Demi Moore look into herself and realize she needs seriously extensive plastic surgery, because if her womb can produce this thing that represents every possible thing that could be wrong on a person, other than being fat. It’s like every single one of her features was exposed to radiation, or was deprived of nutrients and oxygen in the womb, because mommy was doing heavy drugs, or cuz daddy’s sperm was half retarded from doing heavy drugs, and the whole thing brings one question to mind and that question is whether she is really human or not, or if I’m just lookin’ at a caricature you get done on the boardwalk that’s come to life in some kind of Voodoo shit that Demi and Bruce are stuck claiming as their own, cuz they sold their souls to the devil for fame and fortune in exchange for this….I just don’t really understand how this is a human, or how this gets laid, or how Demi didn’t drive it out to a field somewhere on the way home from the hospital to burry like it never happened, but I know Demi knows that it is no Rumor that Rumer’s a monster….but as a vain bitch, I guess she probably knows how to pretend she’s not seeing what everyone else is seeing cuz it came out of her….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Disgusting|Rumer Willis|See Thru

2010

23

Feb

Hilary Duff Got a Million Dollar Engagement Ring of the Day

This Mike Comrie dude is a real fucking idiot. I guess he feels like he needs to wine and dine his bitch cuz she’s some high maintenance popstar teenie bopper he used to jerk off to and now she is his. So dude’s trying to keep her happy and feeling special as long as he fuckin’ can, and he’s doin’ that by buying her a 1 million dollar engagement ring….

Now, I understand that dude is probably white trash, middle of the road, not used to money, new money, growing up in a home where his dad would spend his whole paycheck random bullshit as new money tends to do, so for him a million dollars doesn’t seem like a lot of money, it’s just a small percentage of what he makes, or what he is going to inherit from his family business, but unless you’re a fucking billionaire and even if you are a billionaire, this kind of excessive spending is just idiotic.

We all know they are going to end up divorced and no ring is worth giving to someone that is that expensive and the fact she would accept it instead of making him take it back just shows what kind of life they will have together. She thinks she’s a fucking princess who deserves this…instead of thinking that 1,000,000 dollars could be put to better use in their life….any woman who accepts this kind of gift is one to stay the fuck away from…there are red flags all over her grubby little hands…as she smiles and giggles and is overjoyed in her greed and excessiveness….it’s disgusting…

Seriously, he would have been better off just spending 10,000 on a ring, or even 100,000 on a ring, and taking the rest to the fucking Casino….but maybe this is just his way of paying her off not to tell the public that he appreciates a good dick in his ass in the locker room whenever his team loses to teach him a lesson….I mean there’s gotta be more behind this than a dude being a moron…because there are a quite few people richer than these two idiots combined in the world….like much richer than these two idiots combined who don’t spend this kind of money on a ring and I just haven’t figured out what the story behind this is, but I will…I will make it my life mission..or I won’t but will pretend I will for the sake of this post. See the sacrifices I make for you, I am even willing to pretend I care about Hilary Duff publicly…That’s some serious commitment on my part….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Uncategorized

2010

23

Feb

Brooke Burke’s “Wild On” Nipple in a Tank Top of the Day

I remember Wild On. A show where Brooke Burke, the host with fake tits in her bikini, would go to some of the cheesiest, lamest, frat boy, All American Spring Break parties Cancun and other dumps had to offer, before switching her life up where the on “Wild On” happens in the playground with her 10 kids, or on twitter when tweeting about how much she loves her fucking family life, or apparently in her white shirt as one of her nipples goes of and plays on its own leaving the other one alone and confused…

Here are the pics…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Brooke Burke|Tits

2010

23

Feb

The Sugababes Know How to Perform of the Day

I made up this theory that British talent scouts look at small town stripclubs to find the best performers for their pop acts. I figure that’s where they found Ginger Spice, Mel B and pretty much any other busty bitch who is famous in the UK, cuz based on the bitches who are famous, they’ve really managed to dig out the trashiest of the trash to flaunt their tits, and I think it makes perfect sense, and maybe that kind of visionary can only come from the hyper evolved people who created North America, who we owe our homes to, instead of the shit like Lady Gaga that we’re putting on stage here, but I guess my opinion means nothing, since it is coming from a guy who would go to the stripclub over pretty much any other place in the world, who thinks seeing hot tits on a bitch on stage is more important than good music or “fabricated creative vision”, it is just what I’ve come to expect when I see a girl on stage….while the ugly ones are meant to be laughed off stage and forced to go back to working the grocery store cash cuz they had no business getting on stage in the first place, even though their boyfriend’s encouraged them and told them they did, if you know what I mean…..and if you don’t, I’m trying to say to America that it is time to bring girls I want to fuck back on video and to leave this Gaga influenced shit in the back alley where it belongs….that was my cry for help, let’s hope someone was listening…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:The Sugababes|Whores

2010

23

Feb

Karolina Kurkova is the Fat Victoria’s Secret Model in Tight Pants of the Day

I thought it was funny when Karolina Kurkova was too fat for a Victoria’s Secret fashion show and they pretty much threatened her to shape the fuck up on TV for the world to see as they struggled to fit her into an outfit. I didn’t find it as funny when she came out with some bullshit excuse like that it was caused by a thyroid disorder like she was the lazy fat lady who lives across the street from me or Precious who blames genetics on her obesity instead of the box of donuts she eats everyday….but I guess it’s not that funny anymore…because that was two years ago and she’s not as fat anymore, even 4 months post pregnancy, making this post totally fucking useless, like most of the posts I write, which is just something I’ve learned to accept about myself …..

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Karolina Kurkova|Tight Pants

2010

23

Feb

Angelina Jolie is a Lost Slut of the Day

Remember when Angelina Jolie was a hot, dark, almost gothic whore who used to show off her hot body, milk her her raw sexuality for all it was worth, leaving us with empty testicles and a dream that her next movie she’ll show nipple. You know the bitch who played a dyke with AIDS in GIA, who made out with her brother with tongue, who carried a vile of blood and talked about how much she loved fucking, who was really just a fucking gimmick who left all that good shit behind to save the world and start a fucking orphanage and pretend she’s a fucking nun sent from God to care for every third world child , totally taking away from the leather clad, thick lipped slut she made us think she was and based her whole career on…

So for every kid she adopts or provides clean water for, I see a motherfucker who robbed me of pussy I wanted to fuck, and who turned her into some “good” person you don’t want to fuck up the ass before cumming in her pussy cuz she’s so wild she doesn’t care about UTIs, because you don’t want to taint the purity that drips off her refined, luxurious clothes….The whole thing is pretty fucking depressing to me and here she is back on set, but instead of wearing PVC and showing off tit, she’s dressed like a fuckin’ lady…very fucking annoying….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Angelina Jolie|On Set|Refined|The Tourist

2010

23

Feb

Ronnie Wood’s New Punching Bag of the Day

Ronnie Wood is a Rolling Stone who got in trouble for beating up some teenager hipster he called his girlfriend, who was really just some weird Russian lookin’ import piece of shit he must have met getting high at some bar, who used him for his money, celebrity and great drug hook ups and that he used for her young, used up pussy, that was not as used up as the old used up pussy he is used to….and the whole thing made sense and balanced out the universe because these kinds of relationships happen all the fucking time..and why wouldn’t they because if you were a fucking old rock star you’d want young pussy to make you feel young and if you were young pussy, you’d want someone to buy you all the nice things you want who can also put you on the map and make you famous by association, which is more famous than you’ll ever be on your own….but apparently he chose one who calls the cops despite all you’ve done for her and that’s pretty fucking disappointing….but here he is with some Brazilian Polo coach he’s currently fucking….concluding my post on weathered old abusive rockstars and the young pussy stupid enough to fuck with them.

Trust me, when I started this post out, I expected it to workout a lot better than this…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Abusive|Rolling Stone|Ronnie Wood

2010

23

Feb

Claudia Schiffer for the Retired Supermodel Pregnancy Fetishists of the Day

Some people have specific needs when it comes to jerking off and getting off. I realized a long time ago that pretty much anything you can think of, no matter how vile, at least one person has got off to it. I like to credit my friend who got off to garbage, because he found the story behind the garbage exhilerating and erotic. The mystery of who the person behind the empty coke can, or the half eaten sandwich, or the dirty kleenex was enough for him to get off….motherfucker would walk around with a garbage bag and gather during the day thanks to umemployment, welfare and insanity, then he’d spread it around his apartment floor and roll around in the shit naked and moaning….so I guess the idea that a percentage of people who used to masturbate to Claudia Schiffer when she was the supermodel who wouldn’t get naked who are also into ready-to-drop porn, that there is a market for and exists, is not that far of a stretch and here are the pictures for that guy.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Claudia Schiffer|Ready to Drop

2010

23

Feb

Pink Goes for a Jog of the Day

I am a man with a very fat, unhealthy, out of shape wife who sounds like she is drowning everytime she breathes, so for a while, I used to jerk off to women jogging outside my apartment window. My fetish for healthy bithces got so bad that I even got a job volunteering at the local YMCA where all the college kids and prozac suburban moms would work out in their really tight pants that showed off their pussy definition. It was like they were in such tight clothes I could visualize them naked, they were sweaty and I could hardly contain my erection no matter how small it actually is…..but every once in a while, a bitch who got addicted to the workout high would become totally jacked and totally masculine, making me wonder if getting off to them makes me gay, or does the fact that they have a vagina, despite not lookin’ like they should have a vagina cancel it out….The point is that Pink is one of those girls that I think you are gay if you get off to her and really fucking messed up if you get off to her music while crying and masturbating in your bedroom closet so no one catches you….

So this is not celebrity workout fetish cuz you have a fat, lazy wife and this brings you hope pics, this is the test of if you are capable of getting hard for an actual man by putting a bitch as manly as they come in tight clothes up to bat….cuz the truth is that sometimes a vagina isn’t enough.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Jogging|Pink

2010

23

Feb

Some Ashlee Simpson Leg in Pantyhose of the Day

Ashlee Simpson was spotted pantsless in public. It can only be assumed that she’s not wearing pants because her husband is a queer and she craves any male attention she can get, figuring that if she’s not wearing pants, people will look at her like they want to fuck her, something she’s not used to since it’s been excuse after excuse after she got pregnant, as Wentz was eager to impregnate her when he was using her as a vessel for his ego to leave a legacy behind in this world, and all that ended once he succeeded because he could go back to fucking boys…..or maybe she’s just airing out he mom pussy cuz since it’s been stretched the fuck out, it gets clammy and uncomfortable when you try to stuff it into woman’s underwear….and what it really comes down to is who the fuck cares and what the fuck do I know about Ashlee Simpson pantless, I just know it’s a hell of a lot better than Pete Wentz pantsless at the gay bar you walked into cuz you didn’t know it was a gay bar and stayed because you really needed a drink.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Leg

2010

22

Feb

stepLINKS of the Day

I spent half my day watching some native presentation at the local native community center because I heard there was going to be free booze, when really all that was free was some obscure meat that must have been baby seal because I guess they prefer to give their people free traditional food than white man’s manipulation juice that left them on the streets and signing over free land.

I ate it anyway, because that’s what being fat is all about and I was lucky enough to meet at least two fat inuit prostitutes who offered me affordable sex, they even had business cards and their entrepreneurial marketing know-how made it hard to say no, but their toothless smiles and skin infection didn’t.

Now here are my stepLINKS….

Paris Hilton Looks Good and Ready to Be Date Raped
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I Wonder What Else She Can Destroy With Those Thighs? – VIDEO
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The 14 Freakiest Serial Killers You’ve Probably Never Heard Of
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Happy Birthday! Drew Barrymore’s Hottest Pics
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Because It Will Help You Get Through Monday Without Putting a Bullet In Your Head
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Sophie Turner Deserves a Good Rogering
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Kate Winslet is Lookin Fully Bangable
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Yeah, I’d Bang Super Saver Lilian – VIDEO
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Catch a Chat Roulette Predator – VIDEO
GO

Peaches Geldof and Her Sloppy, Topless Throwback
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Let’s Make Up Some Stuff About Justin Bieber
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Now That’s a Perfect Ass
GO

Sasha Volkova is Worth Taking a Look At
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Man, It’s About Time Betty White Gets The Respect She Deserves
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Now THAT’S What I Call a Self Shot Babe
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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It’s a Cleavage Miracle! – VIDEO
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Rihanna and a Midget Stripper – VIDEO
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A Topless Katie Downes Will Perk You Up
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Hailey and Tiffany Get It On
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Mila Kunis is Looking good As Always
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Rhian Sudgen and a Whole Lot of Air Brushing Make Her the Perfect Blonde
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Funny or Die Usually Isn’t That Funny, But Here Is a Funny or Die Video
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Lady GaGa and Her Attention Whoredom of the Day
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OMG!!! BONER IS MISSING!!!
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Fucking Machines X Lesbians = Awww Yeaaah!
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Aurelia Gliwski- Victoria’s Secret Lingeri
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Once a Slut, Always a Slut
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Luisa Takes a Shower
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Noni’s Gallery is Something Worth Taking a Look At
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A Gallery of 25 Parents That Are Worse Parents Than Me
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Guess Agan Shit Stain – VIDEO
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The Life and Times of Tim is Pretty Much the Best Show Ever – VIDEO
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That Depends On What Your Definition of ‘Drug Free’ Is
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Jamie is Nude By the Window
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Another Chuck E. Cheese Fight , the Third in a Fucking Week…This Time In St. Louis
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I just masturbated to this picture….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

22

Feb

Sophie Monk is a Cripple of the Day

Sophie Monk was in car accident, I didn’t know, cuz she doesn’t matter, especially since her big constantly cameltoed no matter how thick her pants are vagina was in an accident too, thanks to her ex-future-husband’s wandering dick that went for a swim in Paris Hilton’s herpe-ridden sewage pipe of a vagina, only to taint Sophie Monk and her big vagina, not that herpes have ever stopped me before, but it’s always nice to remind everyone before they jerk off to her newest festish pics, which are of her bruised up, beat up, near death, crippled body that’s easy to rape cuz it can’t run the fuck away.

Bonus – Here’s about as close as I can get to where her pubic hair should be if she didn’t murder it, like Benji Madden murdered her vagina…I guess it’s nice to see she’s not letting that stop her…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Cripple|Sophie Monk