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Archive for the Ass Category

2008

29

Oct

Aisleyne Horgan Wallace is a Busted Up Party Slut of the Day

Her name is Aisleyne Horgan Wallace and you’ve probably never heard of her, but I have. She’s some rich kid socialite from the UK, who has some important stepfather, who wanted to get a career of her own as a model, actress, Paris Hilton, so she signed up to some reality show, and showed off her ability to have pretty much no self respect while craving a lot of male attention. She’s showed up to events with her tits out, her underwear showing, and has done all she can to have people talk about her, her fake tits and heer used up pussy.

The truth is that she’s a pig faced waste of fucking space, but like all party sluts with the same self worth, she’s managed to show off her ass and fake titties again, it’s pretty much the core of her person and the only reason she gets work, and I’m going to support that, in hopes that one day we’ll meet and she’ll be nice enough to support me for being part of her quest to draw attention to herself. I am not very expensive, I just want out of this hell that I am living.

On a side note, there is a trendy club here, that I have managed to work my way into a couple of times with friends who knew people, not that getting into any club in this city is hard, everyone is relatively broke and useless, and the city is small enough to know a couple of key people, but that’s not the point, the point is that it has a similar balcony that looks over the dance floor and when I saw it for the first time, I thought i was in heaven. I looked up to the Gods while totally wasted and lookin back at me was young girls in short skirts wearing all different kinds of panties, some weren’t wearing panties at all, and as pussy, ass and thongs were being showered over me, I felt like I was in heaven, taking it all in, until a bouncer grabbed me and escorted me out for being a creep, never to be allowed back in again with nothing but memories to remember that glorious days, memories that are unfortunately sparked by this ugly slag.

Posted in:Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace|Ass|Slut|Tits

2008

28

Oct

Nicolette Sheridan’s Bikini Bottom of the Day

Nicolette Sheridan went out in a bikini and showed off her ass this past weekend and I liked it. I think her body is amazing and hope for all you people who plan on getting married, despite the sad truth that the reason she looks like this is because she’s not married and trying to keep work coming in, but delusions is pretty much what go you into this whole marriage mess to begin with, so what’s another one to the pot that makes up your false sense of happiness…..

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Nicolette Sheridan

2008

20

Oct

The Sun is Setting On Tara Reid’s Permanent Spring Break of the Day

Sloppy skinny girls, or what I used to call “Slim-Fats” are usually a hell of a lot worse to fuck that fat chicks, paritally because they are false advertising and I hate being led to, but mainly because they are just these loose skinned dumpy things being held together with tight clothing and when your hand gets lost in saggy ass cheek between bone and anus, it’s hard to stay hard. At least with fat chicks, you know what you’re getting from the start and usually you don’t care what they look like naked, as long as they have a vagina, because you are horny enough to even be talking to them in the first place, and once you get their clothes off you realize that shit may be disgusting, but her obesity feels a lot firmer than you expected because her skin is so taut, like the skin of a drum working overtime to keep her fat from busting out at the seams. It’s the difference of putting a condom on a huge dick, versus a pencil dick, not that I have experience in either, but I was trying to find something you could relate to, like the guy I know who used to jerk off with condoms to get used to using them provided a girl every slept with him….

Either way, it looks like last call is around the corner for Tara Reid, the pool swim up bar is closing, the sun is setting and hurricane season is moving in. The resort is closing and the patrons have all gone back to their every day lives with nothing but memories and herpes, both last for life, but one is a lot more of a mood killer during first date conversation over dinner, Spring Break is over, for most it lasts a week, for Tara Reid, it’s lasted 10 years.

She’s past her prime and she’s had her time. Now she’s just the sloppy lookin’ fake titty whore with a tan at the public pool while her kids are taking swimming lessons, remember the good ol’ days at Club Med where she had her first gangbang and got on stage naked after too much tequila, and it’s a pretty sad day for all of us, because she was living the dream, an inspiration to us all, and it’s done. RIP Tara Reid Motherfucker and your slaughtered ass, the real casuality of this lifestyle of excess.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Tara Reid

2008

14

Oct

Nicolette Sheridan’s Ass in a White Bikini of the Day

There’s nothing like seeing a little Michael Bolton sloppy seconds strutting her old lady body that puts most 20 year old bodies to shame around in a bikini, knowing that he ruined her like he ruined Frank Sinatra’s Music back in 2006. I do know that her body is definitely the kind of body you can try to pretend is still a virgin when you get with her, despite knowing that the only reason she’s on TV is because she’s not a virgin, if you know what I mean. If you don’t, bust out your mom’s Desperate Housewives Season 1 DVD boxset and see her trying to act, not that that would be too hard of a task for your lazy body, considering you keep it hidden under your bed for those lonely nights alone….which are pretty much every night…..

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Nicolette Sheridan

2008

19

Sep

Nicole Scherzinger in a Tight Slippery Dress of the Day

Nicole Scherzinger went to an event in some fetish gear that she’s passing off as fashion because she’s classy like that. The truth is that I never understood the logic behind dudes with PVC obsessions, I thought it was really kinda creepy and comic book collecting of them, you know with this whole second layer of skin kinda vibe, but I spoke to the dude who owns American Apparel once in a bar, he has a place in the city I live in and he has a line of shiny and slippery clothes and I asked him why they were so popular and he told me because of how amazing it looks when you watch your cum slide off of it.

I don’t know if that’s what the love for this kind of fabric is all about, but I do know Nicole Scherzinger is half Filipino and if I was rich I would have no problem hiring her to clean my house and run errands for me while mistreating her for very little money because if she acts up, I’ll report her ass to immigration. Unfortunately, she was born in the USA and those are the Filipinos you can’t fuck with, but I am guessing her mom was the kind of hired help you can knock up when your wife is at the tennis club and that’s the reason why we have these Scherzinger pics today.

Posted in:Ass|Nicole Scherzinger|Tight Dress

2008

18

Sep

Jennifer Aniston’s Big Fat Greek Wedding Ass of the Day

I know there’s nothing more that Jennifer Aniston wants in her life than a Big Fat Greek Wedding than maybe a Big Fat Greek baby, but since that time has come and gone for her, and her life is destined to be spent alone, where the closest thing she will ever have to kids of her own are when her breeding friends ask her to be the Godmother, I have trouble understanding why because she’s not disgusting looking. I am sure there are Greek men out there from shipping families, with enough money for this greedy bitch with unrealistic standards to accept into her vagina, that would be happy with the fact that unlike their mother’s, her ass isn’t 300 pounds, but maybe that genetic guarantee that she will turn into their mother once a baby pops out that is keeping them away, or maybe it has to do with her desperation to get knocked up and her constantly going after the wrong guy, but I predict in a few months she’ll either be at the sperm donor clinic or raping homeless men at night to get that fetus goin’, or even worse, dating someone who isn’t a famous heart throb. She’s gotta realize that whole Brad Pitt thing was a bad judgment call on his part, and landing the best looking guy in Hollywood according to the media, doesn’t mean she is the best looking chick in Hollywood or deserves anything anyone finds attractive since she’s boring and irrelevant, either way, who really cares, I am only posting these pictures because they were saved on my computer and figured why the fuck not.

Posted in:Ass|Jennifer Aniston

2008

18

Sep

Kim Kardashian’s Dancing With the Stars Ass of the Day

Kim Kardashian looks like she finally got off that big ass of hers and has been working out for this Dancing with the Stars season. I guess that’s good news, becasue she was getting dumpy as shit and people were celebrating her laziness, instead of realizing they were lookin’ at an ass made of ice cream and fast food and sitting and not an ass that’s just big and banging. Sure, in the past I’ve been more supportive of skinny, small assed girls and left the fat ass for the black guys who love fat ass so much more than their fat black wives they accidentally knocked up and can’t manage to escape, but I am still a man, and I still appreciate a hot booty and Kardashian’s ass, despite hating her, does some pretty amazing things and that’s something I guess I shouldn’t ignore, but the only reason i am giving it any love, is because I can tell she’s getting more fit and I am not retracting my original opinion that over the last year she’s been a fucking pig. So here’s to new beginnings.

Posted in:Ass|Dancing With the Stars|Kim Kardashian

2008

08

Sep

Michael Phelps Grabbing Some Ass of the Day

Michael Phelps is some hip hop fan who can now live out his dream of being gangster hustling chicks and not feel like the awkward weird lookin’ guy he is, because girls are sluts and if you are on TV, no matter how wonky lookin’ you are, you’ll still have no issue getting laid and living the hip hop dream, flossin’ his ice after melting down his 8 gold medals into an Olympic Grill and here he is at the Playboy club grabbin’ some random girl’s ass because he can and because every slut wants his water logged dick up inside them and the truth is that I am surprised Phelps can even walk around as easily as he does, I heard that the American government hasn’t let him out of the pool for the last 12 years he’s been training to be the freak that he is….but then againg I have no idea what I am talking about…..but I do know the girl in the green bikini is dumpy as fuck….enjoy…

Posted in:Ass|Grabbing|Michael Phelps

2008

04

Sep

Miley Cyrus’ Mother’s Ass of the Day

If you’re wondering where Miley learned all about boys and how to sleep your way to the top and suck dick proper, you’re lookin’ at her ass. I am not entirely sure if this is Miley’s hot mom who only married Miley’s father because she was a small town girl and it’s not everyday you meet a man you’ve once seen on TV and heard on the radio. She’s the kind of slut who climbs the ladder socially and is obviously easily impressed, because any self respecting person would just laugh at Billy Ray’s success like the rest of us, while she jumped at the opportunity and fucked him because he was way cooler in her town than every other guy she worked her way through with her vagina, from the local bar owner, to the local rodeo champ, to the highschool football quarterback and anyone who seemingly was more glamorous, connected and richer than her. I could be wrong, I usually am, but either way she looks like a fake titty slut and Billy Ray was her salvation from her miserable country life where she was known as Latiticia, a pretty solid stripper name, but now that she’s made it she just goes by “Tish” and this is her skinny Miley Mom Ass.


Bonus that’s not really a bonus – Miley on a Date, which thew me off a little because I expected the only guys she’d sleep with to be a little older, like in their 40s, balding, Jewish and in a suit rockin’ the Disney corporate credit card like nobody’s business, but maybe this is her way of telling us that she’s normal and dates other rich kids in her neighborhood along with the executives at Disney. Who knows or cares, because at least she’s living up to her slut reputation and I should be more supportive of that, even though I don’t think it will last, his car doesn’t even have a leather interior.

Posted in:Ass|Miley Cyrus|Mom

2008

29

Aug

Vida Guerra Takes Her Big Ass and Big Fake Tits Out to an Event of the Day

Vida Guerra is the first slut I can remember who made a name for herself because of her fat ass. I know J.Lo was some kind of fat assed pioneer or some shit, but at least she backed her ass up with her song and dance and acting career that lead to her high profile celebrity cock-riding, while Vida Guerra was just some nobody that had some pictures sent into FHM or some other men’s magazine by her boyfriend and that lead to cover after cover and Top 100 lists everywhere, making her a staple ass guys jerked off to….the good news is that whatever money she made allowed her to afford the set of tits she dreamed about as a little immigrant girl in her poor immigrant household because a girl with a big McDonald’s eating ass is always out of wack without a set of big ol’ titties. It’s nice to see that her money and career have kept her classy as she wears a subtle black dress to an event, I hear it’s the same dress she wore to her father’s funeral.

Posted in:Ass|Fake|Tits|Vida Guerra