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Archive for the Ass Category

2008

29

Aug

Shenae Grimes Has a Hot Little Ass in Some Stupid Fucking Pants of the Day

6 Comments »

Shenae Grimes is some Canadian actress who has been on the Show Degrassi that I have seen a few times but only because watching teenage girls have sex makes for good TV. She’s rumored to be some kind of partying coke slut, which seems totally unlikely considering she has minor fame but enough for her to have an ego, she has lots of money and pretty much everyone is doing blow now that shit’s pretty fuckin’ accessible and helps feed her ego, and that all makes sense because you’d have to be on something to wear a pair of pants like this out in public and I am not talking about being on an Indian Reserve, I am talking hard drugs and lots of them because the last time I saw someone in pants like this, the dude wearing them was trying to convince me that huffing gas is part of his culture and he only does it to stay true to his people before asking me if I wanted to pay him to give me a blowjob because I guess inuit prostitutes come with penises too.

Either way her ass is little and hot and she’s about to takeover on 90210 the Next Generation so get ready to see more of her thanks to her new found stardom

Posted in:Ass|Pants|Shenae Grimes

2008

22

Aug

Butts by Hilary Duff of the Day

8 Comments »

I remember a time when Hilary Duff was the Miley Cyrus of her generation, you know on all these stupid shows, rockin’ a shitty singing career and making more money than she knew what to do with, but in the last couple years she’s almost fallen off the map. I know she did a tour and all that but she’s just not as relevant with the kids, but I know that the perverts who remember her at 15 and still reference the pics of her from that era that they have saved on their computer haven’t given up on her like they were the Good Charlotte sister that violated her cervix and ran off with Nicole Richey so here’s her ass.

I am not feeling like writing today and Hilary Duff proves while grocery shopping like a middle-aged soccer mom, that there comes a time that we all lose our momentum…I guess now’s my time…..so just look at the pictures of her boring semi- retired irrelevant ass.

Posted in:Ass|Hilary Duff

2008

15

Aug

Anna Kournikova’s Ass for Maxim of the Day

8 Comments »

[IMAGES REMOVED DUE TO COPYRIGHT]

Here’s Anna Kournikova, one of the better things that has come out of the Soviet since the Cold War. Sometimes I feel like I live in a communist Russia. I have a shitty one room apartment that is more dingy than my whore wife’s period panties that were once white and now, 6 years later, are a weird blue color. I have rationed bread and toilet paper because my wife beats me to the shit, and we don’t have money to buy more. I have no spending money and last week, my wife makes me wear grey prison uniform when I am in the house because I had no clothes and she found it at the vintage store and thought it would be funny.

Today I went to make myself some instant coffee because I am poor and spent 2 weeks worth of spending money last night alone and can’t afford my Starbucks now that my free hook-up decided to move up the corporate ladder and took a job over at a Subway. As I was pouring the boiling water in a glass cup because we don’t have coffee mugs, not even the paper ones I stole from the AA meeting I forgot to write about last week, that turned out to be a depressing party, and the fucking thing just exploded in my hand, like I can’t even make a fucking coffee without God trying to kill me with broken glass and boiling water….

I don’t really know where I am going with this, but here are some pics of Anna Kournikova lookin’ hot in Maxim.

[IMAGES REMOVED DUE TO COPYRIGHT]

Posted in:Anna Kournikova|Ass|Maxim

2008

13

Aug

Fergie’s Ass in Some Military Romper of the Day

9 Comments »

I was looking at these Fergie Military uniform pictures and was thinking going to war and fighting for your country wouldn’t be so bad, you get to kill a race of people you were raised to hate because they flew planes into your buildings, you get to be in the hot weather all the fuckin’ time, you don’t have to worry about making yourself dinner and life would pretty much be like a college spring break party with booze, opiates and a bunch of buddies and then you get to come back to base to deal with your female colleagues dressed like this, the kind of outfit you’d expect on a creative stripper who is tired of the whole school girl thing and onto more socially relevant themes like War, but then I remembered what bitches in the Army look like and the only thing I’d want for them is to put on some more clothes to cover those lesbian bodies, and to be put on the front line like they were Black in WWII and Vietnam, because let’s face it, the world needs less penis hating, masculine, empowered dykes who know hand to hand combat.

Either way, I don’t mind when Fergie and her masculine features do it, because she’s still got a body and ex-meth addict face that brings back great memories of cheap back alley blowjobs…

Either way, she’s dressed like a two year old and doesn’t look like one because she’s had too much cock, but I’d still watch her crawl around like one. There’s nothing like an outfit that touches pussy, ass and tits at the same time. It’s some kind of magical even when Fergie’s penis gets in the way.

Posted in:Ass|Fergie|Legs

2008

13

Aug

Jennifer Aniston is Bending Over of the Day

12 Comments »

[ Images removed in compliance with DMCA Notice ]

The good news for Jennifer Aniston and her babyless ass, is that when you are lonely and feel that you haven’t completed your role as a woman by never having a baby and when you feel insecure because guys don’t want to impregnate you but have no problem impregnating other girls making you think there’s something seriously wrong with you, there is always the pet store to give you some purpose, by adopting a dog who relies heavily on you for survival, giving you a false sense of relevance in the world, allowing you to feel like someone depends on you, loves you unconditionally and will never fuck off on you and run off with another owner because you keep a tight leash on the fuckin’ thing and because it officially belongs to you and doesn’t really have the freedom to make the same choices every other person in your life has been able to make. I am sure it’s a pretty depressing and embarrassing scene everytime she puts this fucker on her lap and tries to breast feed it like it was your own, but at least it’s keeping her from killing herself, something that may not impact society because she’s spent the last few years being a sad case, useless and irrelevant, but I am sure it has a positive impact on her life and I guess that’s all that matters…Here is her lonely, babyless ass….


In the event you were wondering – John Mayer dumped Jennifer Aniston because She’s Not Good Enough to Settle Down With….At Least She’s Got the Dogs…They’ll Never Leave Her…Looks like Life for Aniston Will Involve a Large Sex Toy Collection and a Whole Lot of Ben and Jerry’s….
GO

Here are those pics…


Related Posts

Jennifer Aniston’s Babyless Ass
Jennifer Aniston’s Sad Hard Nipples
Jennifer Aniston’s Bikini Ass Trying To Get Pregnant
Jennifer Aniston’s Hard Nipples in a Pink Bikini

Posted in:Ass|Bending|Jennifer Aniston

2008

12

Aug

Beach Volleyball Olympic Asses Because NBC are Perverts of the Day

24 Comments »

People seem to love the Olympics, I guess it’s because you have some hybrid genetic freak who can swim like an angel on your team and kicks everyone’s ass and that just further massages your patriotism. It gives your feelings of your country being the best in the world, the strongest in the world and the most amazing place in the world some credibility because you have the most gold medals, or at least more than Canada has, and the truth is that I don’t really care.

I don’t try to find hot pussy in the Olympics, I don’t really find freakishly fit girls anything interesting to look at but then again I hate sports and the only kind of athlete I appreciate is a girl who can fuck or suck like a marathon runner, but other people do.

Someone sent in a story on NBC Olympic coverage about the hand signals the beach volleyball girls do. It seemed like a pretty cheap attempt to make a story about exposed athlete asses and it made me laugh that they tried to hide their intentions behind some kind of bullshit story about their hand signals. It’s the kind of genius that I should start doing, so next time Lohan has a vagina slip, I’ll just write about the dress she’s wearing and ignore the fact that there’s a freckled, mangled, slut pussy staring me in the face……

Either way, here are some of the pics I ripped off the NBC site because I try not to hide the fact that I like lookin’ at ass, even if that ass is more muscular than my friend on steroids is…

This Makes Me Laugh – Because It Just Proves That Even Multi-National Corporations are Fucking Perverts and Cashing in On Being Perverts and They Are Just Smarter Perverts Than Me Because They Get Respect and Package Their Perversion in a “Newsworthy” story….
GO

Posted in:Ass|Beach Volleyball|Olympic

2008

07

Aug

Jamie Lynn Spears Teenage Pregnancy Ass Watch of the Day

14 Comments »

I am a fan of Teenage Pregnancy, if I wasn’t I’d be hating on my own mother because she had me when she was 16 and I turned out fine. Sure she was turning tricks in Mexico and I ended up being taken away from her by some Americans when I was 5, but I still have fond memories of her being irresponsible, drunk and contracting the HIV virus all before she turned 20 and if that isn’t considered an accomplishment, I don’t know what is. Everytime I see a teenage girl with her baby it brings back those fond memories of a neglectful mother who was in over her head, living in poverty, being abused and most importantly, sucking off white dudes to pay the rent in front of me.

I am not one of those anti-abortion, right winged, no sex before marriage or god will strike you down and if he doesn’t he’ll make sure you get knocked up and unable to abort because two sins don’t cancel each other out, making you the laughing stock to your peers, pissing off the dude who fucked you without a condom because it felt good and looked down upon by society as a whole as a disgusting pig of a person. I am more in the school of thought that if you get your period you are good to go and if this was 300 years ago, you’d be considered normal. Unfortunately, that excuse doesn’t always hold up in court after getting charged with statutory rape. Rules always ruin a good thing.

Here are some pics of Jamie Lynn and her big ol’ mom titties and big ol’ southern ass with her baby, it’s nice to see how she’s bounced back better than women who wait until they are 30 to breed, because society doesn’t like them following nature’s course and their self absorbed needs to establish a career and have fun get in the way of doin’ what they are supposed to.

Posted in:Ass|Jamie Lynn Spears|Teenage Preganacy

2008

06

Aug

Jennifer Aniston’s Babyless Ass of the Day

10 Comments »

Everyone’s been giving Brad Pitt so much attention because he just had his new babies with Angelina and sold the pictures for millions of dollars and everyone is talking about how amazing they are and all that shit and I figured it was a good time to post about Jennifer Aniston and laugh about all that went wrong in her life and the pain that she is probably feeling. All this ass wanted was to be impregnated by Brad Pitt, and she got pretty fucking close before motherfucker cheated on her and started a new life with someone else while leaving her in the dust. It’s that kind of rejection that leaves Aniston hurting, desperate and ready to let anyone who comes her way knock her up, but for some reason no one ever does, there must be something seriously wrong with her and that’s probably the fact that she’s greek and only knows anal and after volunteering in a few high schol biology classes, I have learned that you can’t get knocked up that way no matter how hard you try, despite what every boyfriend she’s ever dated has told her. I guess when you find a girl who does anal, you don’t want to pollute that by introducing vaginal sex.

Either way, here’s Aniston’s sad, lonley and childless ass in some dress.

Posted in:Ass|Babyless|Jennifer Aniston

2008

05

Aug

Kate Moss’ Ass Crack and Hard Nipples in a Bikini of the Day

5 Comments »

I once knew a drug addicted whore, actually I’ve known a lot of crackwhores, I’ve even dated crackwhores who I didn’t know were actual whores, but would come home to catch her sucking random cock behind my back for money and I’d let her stick around because I was actually squatting in her shitty apartment and I had no where else to go, but that’s really got nothing to do with this post of Kate Moss’ ass.

When I look at it I am reminded of this cokehead I knew who would never shit because she was on this diet coke and cocaine diet. She hardly ate actual food, but obviously had to sometimes to stay alive and about once a month she would take these nasty fucking shits that made my wife’s shit look like a fuckin’ delicious chocolate birthday cake. After partying, she’d sneak off to the bathroom and would be in there for about an hour and within 5 minutes a nasty fuckin’ smell that you could taste would pollute the living room I would be sitting in. It was like a mix of chemicals and death and no matter how hot this bitch was, I just couldn’t bring myself to eat her out knowing the mess that was inside her.

I guess it’s pretty relevant to be talking about shit for such a shitty fucking post, now look at some pictures of Kate Moss on a boat, showing some tit and ass, as she likes to do because she just doesn’t give a fuck because she’s like a modern day hippie, who everyone has already seen naked and who doesn’t mind being naked and that’s something I respect in a woman, except when not giving a fuck means not showering and gaining 60 to 100 pounds in 6 years of marriage.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Kate Moss|Nipple

2008

04

Aug

Tila Tequila Shows Off Her Ass of the Day

10 Comments »

Here’s Tila Tequila showing the world the trick she used to land her first job every pretty much every job since.

Speaking of sluts working, I was at the strippers on Saturday night and I managed to get kicked out because one of the whores came up to me to ask for a dance, right as I was sitting down. I told her that I didn’t want to grab her tits yet and that I needed to get into the mood by watching the other girls, not really because I wasn’t in the mood but because this bitch had a mangled fucking face and a body that was begging to be covered up and had broken out in hives as a protest to her doing exploiting it, when it had no business being exploited.

Either way, she wouldn’t fuck off and I told her that I needed to get some drink in me just to continue the conversation a because beer goggles were the only way I could get through it without turning gay and that I didn’t think they had enough booze in the place to make me want to see or touch her naked and I have low fucking standards so she she should just fuck off and find an old desperate man who is just happy to talk to a 19 year old girl and who doesn’t care about how ugly she is as long as he gets the attention and instead she went to the bouncer like a little cry baby and I was asked to leave.

Posted in:Ass|Tila Tequila