Ass Archives - Page 27 of 44 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

13

Nov

I am – Demi Moore Bikini Pictures of the Day

I once randomly met a dude who decided to open up to me about how he fell in love with a girl in a picture. I am not talking about you perverts who print up these celebrity pics and scrap book them to cum on at a later date when your mom’s out of town on business, I am talking about a girl who was on a picture at a bed and breakfast he was staying at in the South of France, I guess he’s a romantic like that and I joked about whether his picture went to the beach and got topless with him and if they had sex while having a picnic eating baguette and cheese while drinking cheap bottles of when and he wasn’t laughing, he was lookin’ traumatized.

He went on to tell me that day after day he would see this picture of a beautiful girl and he would obsess over it, like lying in bed at night thinking about who the mystery girl was. By the fourth night he cracked, and snuck down and got the picture and jerked off to it, because he was in love and wanted to consummate their relationship. The next day he had decided to ask the woman who owned the bed and breakfast who the girl in the picture was and she said it was her daughter when she was 20, the summer before she died in a car accident 10 years earlier.

I feel like that jerking off to dead people, is kinda the same feeling you’d get having sex with Demi Moore. Here are her bikini pictures.

Related Posts:

Vintage Demi Moore Nudes Before She Launched Her Career Cuz Naked is the Way to Fame
Ashton Kutcher’s Mustache
Demi Moore’s Nipple
Rumer Willis is Lookin’ Good Sweetheart

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Demi Moore|Unsorted

2007

01

Nov

I am – Coco Shows Off Her Ass on Halloween of the Day

2 Comments »

I was always a fan of dudes who would make or support their girlfriends when they flash their asses or tits in public. Those are the kinds of guys I am happy to be around because they just don’t give a fuck about much and like having a good time and because I usually get to see their girlfriend slutting out in some way or another. I fucking hate overbearing dudes who get all raging when their girl talks to me, or when I ask them if I can see their girlfriend’s pussy. Like last night I was talking to some girl in sexy lingerie just about random bullshit and her boyfriend just stared at me like he wanted to kill me, when I asked her who her bodyguard she told me it was her boyfriend, and I wished her good luck because for the rest of the time together, she’s going to have some asshole looking over her shoulder everytime she talks to another dude and that shit leads to spousal abuse. My theory is that just because you’re in love with the bitch and are fucking the bitch, doesn’t mean the bitch can’t show me a little especially if I have no plan on touching. Maybe I don’t care because I’ve never really had a girlfriend I had any respect for and no one wants to see my wife naked because she’s disgusting, even her doctor asks her to keep her clothes on when she gets her gynecological exam.

Either way, Ice-T should be my friend because he makes his girl flash her ass or if it’s her own doing, he’s totally having fun with it and that’s a lot better than seeing him hiding in the corner planning on how he’s going to beat the fuck out of her without leaving any bruises when they get home.

Related Posts:

Coco Strips in VIdeo
Coco Showing Off Her Retarded Tits
Coco Showing Off Her Retarded Tits Again

2007

01

Nov

I am – Britney Spears’ Ass of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pictures of Britney Spears’ flashing her ass in her Halloween costume, not because I like her ass, but because I like ass in general and I don’t discriminate, except against black people like I’m Dog the Bounty Hunter. I don’t even understand why anyone is so surprised he used the word “ni**er”, just look at his fucking hair. I think half the members of the KKK are rockin’ that look while drinking beer in their backyards building crosses to burn or fixing motors.

But that’s not the point the point is that I got really drunk last night and I am just waking up, so I figure what better way to start our day together than lookin’ at some Spears Ass. I am sure that anyone who has woken up next to her after spending a night in her septic tank doesn’t feel the same way, but who cares what other people think. It’s all about you and me baby.

Related Posts:

Britney Spears Thong-Bikini Ass
Britney Spears’ Bikini Ass
Britney Spears Drunken Panties
Britney Spears’ Fat Ass Grocery Shopping

Posted in:Ass|Britney Spears|Halloween|Unsorted

2007

01

Nov

I am – Britney Spears’ Ass of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pictures of Britney Spears’ flashing her ass in her Halloween costume, not because I like her ass, but because I like ass in general and I don’t discriminate, except against black people like I’m Dog the Bounty Hunter. I don’t even understand why anyone is so surprised he used the word “ni**er”, just look at his fucking hair. I think half the members of the KKK are rockin’ that look while drinking beer in their backyards building crosses to burn or fixing motors.

But that’s not the point the point is that I got really drunk last night and I am just waking up, so I figure what better way to start our day together than lookin’ at some Spears Ass. I am sure that anyone who has woken up next to her after spending a night in her septic tank doesn’t feel the same way, but who cares what other people think. It’s all about you and me baby.

Related Posts:

Britney Spears Thong-Bikini Ass
Britney Spears’ Bikini Ass
Britney Spears Drunken Panties
Britney Spears’ Fat Ass Grocery Shopping

Posted in:Ass|Britney Spears|Halloween|Unsorted

2007

31

Oct

I am – Shauna Sand Bending Over of the Day

3 Comments »

Shauna Sand has no ass and that’s the reason why she flaunts her tits everywhere they are go like it’s her last day out with them before they get removed or some shit. I just thought it was because she’s a whore and likes to show off what she thinks are god’s gift to the world, even though got was a $5,000 charge on her credit card. Then I thought maybe she was just a victim of breast implants, where girls who get implants end up going crazy as fuck with their new tits and pull them out everywhere they go, because their relationship is more of one you have with a new car than one you have with your body parts. Now I realize that shit is just a way to divert male attention from the fact that she has no ass at all and she’s more like a hot chick who hangs with fat chicks to make herself look skinnier or like when I go out drinking with bigger drunks than me, because people notice what you want them to.

That said, you all have to realize that today is Halloween, I don’t dress up because I am a downer and find that shit lame and don’t believe in holidays, but I know that if you’re looking for love or to get laid, this is the best time to go for it. All the girls dressed slutty are going to be horny as fuck because dudes have been lookin’ at their asses like they are a brand new fleshlight all day and you already have an opener. All you have to do is go up to whoever it is you’re lookin’ at and comment on their costume, or come up with a costume that you’ve set up to make girls come up to you and talk to you. I know a dude who went as an AIM contact list and had 15 girls lined up to add their contact info on the buddy list. So do something creative and funny and if you follow my advice, you’ll have a great fucking night. But you won’t because you’re just going to stay home and cry yourself to sleep like you do every night, like the poor fucker who takes Shauna Sand home only to realize she’s got kids and when he flips her over to fuck her from behind – that she’s got no ass and will be struggling like he’s on Survivor to get her back on her back so that he can focus on her tits and trick or treat all over her face.

Related Posts:

Shauna Sand Dressed Classy Pictures
Shauna Sand Showing Off Her Nipples
Shauna Sand See Through Shirt and Implants
Shauna Sand’s See Through Shirt and Implants Again

2007

31

Oct

I am – Danielle Lloyd’s Halloween Ass of the Day

1 Comment »

I don’t really know if these Danielle Lloyd pictures are new or old, mainly because I don’t spend that much of my time thinking about Danielle Lloyd or following her non-existant career, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. I am not trying to imply that I’ve got better things to do with my time because I don’t, but I like to think just sitting and staring at the wall is more interesting than keeping tabs on this slut, except that this slut shows up to events the way all girls should show up to events, everyday of the week and all my wall does is stare right back at me.

They say this is her on Halloween, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this was her on everyday of the week, her half naked body is what makes her money, so it’s kinda her job to dress like this, now make it your job to look at it, because we all know it’s better than your last job bagging groceries that you got fired from because it was too complicated for you to figure out. Don’t worry, I don’t think you’re a loser, everyone else probably does, but not me. Cuddles.

Related Posts:

Danielle Lloyd Skis and Bikinis…
Danielle Lloyd’s Hairy Armpits
Danielle Lloyd’s Bikini Ass
Danielle Lloyd Flashes Her Ass

2007

31

Oct

I am – Danielle Lloyd's Halloween Ass of the Day

1 Comment »

I don’t really know if these Danielle Lloyd pictures are new or old, mainly because I don’t spend that much of my time thinking about Danielle Lloyd or following her non-existant career, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. I am not trying to imply that I’ve got better things to do with my time because I don’t, but I like to think just sitting and staring at the wall is more interesting than keeping tabs on this slut, except that this slut shows up to events the way all girls should show up to events, everyday of the week and all my wall does is stare right back at me.

They say this is her on Halloween, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this was her on everyday of the week, her half naked body is what makes her money, so it’s kinda her job to dress like this, now make it your job to look at it, because we all know it’s better than your last job bagging groceries that you got fired from because it was too complicated for you to figure out. Don’t worry, I don’t think you’re a loser, everyone else probably does, but not me. Cuddles.

Related Posts:

Danielle Lloyd Skis and Bikinis…
Danielle Lloyd’s Hairy Armpits
Danielle Lloyd’s Bikini Ass
Danielle Lloyd Flashes Her Ass

2007

24

Oct

I am – Bar Rafaeli on the Runway in Lingerie of the Day

18 Comments »

I don’t know when these Bar Rafaeli lingerie pictures were taken, but I figured they were worth posting because she’s Israeli and she proves that some Jewish girls are actually decent looking and not the product of inbreeding with their droopy dog faces that only daddy’s big bank account can fix with plastic surgery.

I am not trying to be an anti-semite or anything, I am just saying that Jewish guys always run after non-Jewish girls for a reason. At first I thought it was a power trip, like having the power to lock a hot non-Jew down and making her convert for you and your lifestyle, because I hear converting to that shit takes at least a year, but then I realized that Jewish girls just don’t really have it going on for the most part. Sure they are all good at giving blowjobs because of their teenage years at summer camp trained them right, and usually the Jews who are good looking are just smoke and mirrors, you know the right clothes and make-up and constant maintenance and hair salon appointments. But they are just as high maintenance as their Jew hair and Jewish guys realize that if they just run after some poor non-Jew that they don’t respect, they can get what they want because they give them a taste of the “Good Life” all while being dicks to them, because in their mind they are never going to marry the bitch because she’s not one of them, until they prove that they are worthy.

The whole thing is weirder that David Copperfields elaborate pick up strategy and I guess none of that really matters, because they are getting the bitches and you aren’t, but these pictures of Bar Rafaeli prove that their is still hope for the Jews…..

Related Posts:

Bar Rafaeli in a Wife Beater and Shorts
Elle Macpherson is Surfing in a Bikini
Gisele’s Bikini Ass
Petra Nemcova’s Hot Tits

2007

23

Oct

I am – Britney Spears Bikini Dance of the Day

2 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Britney that hit yesterday but I didn’t bother posting them because they were tagged to shit from whoever took the pictures, so I am posting them now, a day late. I think Britney is fucking awesome, not because she’s a wreck and making huge money off being a wreck or because she’s not talented and her new album is robotic as fuck and still number 1 everywhere even though it doesn’t sound like her, but because she’s an exhibitionist and gets naked all the fucking time. I think hanging out with Britney would be a lot cheaper than hanging out at a strip club, even though it seems that a big part of Britney wishes she was hanging out with you at a strip club as one of the dancers. I really don’t have much more to say other than I hope she is influencing today’s youth to help brighten my future, because there’s nothing like watching a dirty girl cleaning and dancing in some skimpy bikini and makes me wish I could afford some nude cleaning service, even though those nude girls don’t do a very good job cleaning, but my house smells like my wife’s dirty underwear and it’s making me sick to my stomach.

Related Posts:

Britney Spears Ass Cleavage
Britney Spears Cleavage
Britney Spears Vagina Shot
Britney Spears Upskirt Pictures

2007

23

Oct

I am – Gisele Bundchen’s Bikini Ass of the Day

2 Comments »

I like skinny chicks and I know that pisses off fat chicks, but it’s just the way it is. My theory is that I am fat enough for the two of us or maybe even fat enough for four of us and what it really comes down to is that the thought of two fat people banging disgusts me. I have been with fat girls and my vaginal penis just couldn’t make it’s way into all the right places, our stomachs or her fat ass kept getting in the fucking way, so god knows why the fuck I married a fat chick, because I hate them so fuckin’ much, but I guess I was lonely and found it comforting to have someone pay my rent for me.

Now here is the sequel to yesterday’s Gisele bikini pictures, where we get a solid look at her small, tight ass, and it may not make black people or white people who pretend to be black people excited, it works for me because bitch is skinny and that’s kinda my thing and as a follow up to yesterday’s question about whether she had a dick or not, it looks like she’s got some vagina definition, so either she’s legit or she’s just good at tucking things in and taping them down.

Related Posts:

Gisele’s Bikini Pictures from Yesterday

Gisele’s Mountain Bikini Thong
Adriana Lima at the Airport

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