Ass Archives - Page 28 of 44 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

23

Oct

I am – Gisele Bundchen's Bikini Ass of the Day

I like skinny chicks and I know that pisses off fat chicks, but it’s just the way it is. My theory is that I am fat enough for the two of us or maybe even fat enough for four of us and what it really comes down to is that the thought of two fat people banging disgusts me. I have been with fat girls and my vaginal penis just couldn’t make it’s way into all the right places, our stomachs or her fat ass kept getting in the fucking way, so god knows why the fuck I married a fat chick, because I hate them so fuckin’ much, but I guess I was lonely and found it comforting to have someone pay my rent for me.

Now here is the sequel to yesterday’s Gisele bikini pictures, where we get a solid look at her small, tight ass, and it may not make black people or white people who pretend to be black people excited, it works for me because bitch is skinny and that’s kinda my thing and as a follow up to yesterday’s question about whether she had a dick or not, it looks like she’s got some vagina definition, so either she’s legit or she’s just good at tucking things in and taping them down.

Related Posts:

Gisele’s Bikini Pictures from Yesterday

Gisele’s Mountain Bikini Thong
Adriana Lima at the Airport

2007

19

Oct

I am – Hilary Duff’s Ass at the Latin Music Awards of the Day

10 Comments »

What can’t this girl do? She’s acting and she’s singing and running her stupid business and making all kind of money at least she knows that showing off her ass and panties while performing is good for business and leads to a lot more money that she probably doesn’t need, but who cares, because you get to jerk off to her.

We all like sluts and the only thing better than banging a slut is banging a slut with a boyfriend because a single slut could be out trying to live the empowered woman Sex in the City lifestyle and meaningless sex makes her feel like she’s got it going on, but a slut with a boyfriend, isn’t supposed to be a slut because she’s supposed to be hooked to her boyfriend, and making her break that code, proves that she’s got no self-control and under the bullshit lie that is her relationship is really a slut and making that happen is even more exciting than seeing a girl flashing her junk.

Point of all this is to say, that it’s nice to see that Hilary Duff showing the world that despite being cursed with a busted up horse face you can still make it, because she’s like the Phantom of the Opera and all it took was a slutty dress and a pair of black underwear to make it happen.

Related Posts:

Hilary Duff On Set “Acting” Pictures
Hilary Duff Eating Ice Cream
Hilary Duff Does stepTV
Hilary Duff Bikini Pictures

2007

19

Oct

I am – Hilary Duff's Ass at the Latin Music Awards of the Day

No Comments »

What can’t this girl do? She’s acting and she’s singing and running her stupid business and making all kind of money at least she knows that showing off her ass and panties while performing is good for business and leads to a lot more money that she probably doesn’t need, but who cares, because you get to jerk off to her.

We all like sluts and the only thing better than banging a slut is banging a slut with a boyfriend because a single slut could be out trying to live the empowered woman Sex in the City lifestyle and meaningless sex makes her feel like she’s got it going on, but a slut with a boyfriend, isn’t supposed to be a slut because she’s supposed to be hooked to her boyfriend, and making her break that code, proves that she’s got no self-control and under the bullshit lie that is her relationship is really a slut and making that happen is even more exciting than seeing a girl flashing her junk.

Point of all this is to say, that it’s nice to see that Hilary Duff showing the world that despite being cursed with a busted up horse face you can still make it, because she’s like the Phantom of the Opera and all it took was a slutty dress and a pair of black underwear to make it happen.

Related Posts:

Hilary Duff On Set “Acting” Pictures
Hilary Duff Eating Ice Cream
Hilary Duff Does stepTV
Hilary Duff Bikini Pictures

2007

19

Oct

I am – Katherine Heigl Pickin’ Her Ass of the Day

2 Comments »

I told a girl over the internet that I loved her and wanted her to get me pregnant so that I could get her abortion. She never answered me back and it broke my heart that such genius statements get overlooked by people. It makes it hard to get to the top when people just discount that shit, without actually considering the poetic beauty of the shit I say, but I guess it doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that Katherine Heigl is picking her wedgie or scratching her badly wiped ass because it’s starting to burn, itch and make her feel uncomfortable.

When I was growing up, I knew a girl who constantly scratched her snatch. I never really understood, because we were in High School, but every change bitch got she’d be going at her crotch like shit was on fire and she had to put it out. She wasn’t very popular with the other boys, but I was committed to finding the source of the problem, I am a humanitarian like that. One night after drinking a bit too much, I started giving her attention she never got before and getting her pants off was about as challenging as taking off my own pants, I almost regretted it when I saw her greenish/yellow stained panties and smelled death, but then I came and forgot about it and decided to keep her around for the next couple of years.

Related Posts:

Katherine Heigl Showing Off Her Dumpy Ass in Bikini Bottoms
Katherine Heigl Bikini Top Photoshoot
Katherine Heigl at the Emmy Awards

Posted in:Ass|Katherine Heigl|Picking|Unsorted|Wedgie

2007

19

Oct

I am – Katherine Heigl Pickin' Her Ass of the Day

No Comments »

I told a girl over the internet that I loved her and wanted her to get me pregnant so that I could get her abortion. She never answered me back and it broke my heart that such genius statements get overlooked by people. It makes it hard to get to the top when people just discount that shit, without actually considering the poetic beauty of the shit I say, but I guess it doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that Katherine Heigl is picking her wedgie or scratching her badly wiped ass because it’s starting to burn, itch and make her feel uncomfortable.

When I was growing up, I knew a girl who constantly scratched her snatch. I never really understood, because we were in High School, but every change bitch got she’d be going at her crotch like shit was on fire and she had to put it out. She wasn’t very popular with the other boys, but I was committed to finding the source of the problem, I am a humanitarian like that. One night after drinking a bit too much, I started giving her attention she never got before and getting her pants off was about as challenging as taking off my own pants, I almost regretted it when I saw her greenish/yellow stained panties and smelled death, but then I came and forgot about it and decided to keep her around for the next couple of years.

Related Posts:

Katherine Heigl Showing Off Her Dumpy Ass in Bikini Bottoms
Katherine Heigl Bikini Top Photoshoot
Katherine Heigl at the Emmy Awards

Posted in:Ass|Katherine Heigl|Picking|Unsorted|Wedgie

2007

19

Oct

I am – Britney Spears Ass Cleavage of the Day

No Comments »

The thing I like about Britney is that she proves that people love trainwrecks. She’s done everything in her power to make the world hate her or feel sorry for her, or laugh at her, or want to fuck her and she’s still got the number one song out there, so no matter what you say about her being a bad mother or drug addict or crazy, none of that really matters because she’s famous and successful and that shit goes a lot farther than being a good parent.

The other thing I like about Britney is that she’s a fat chick I want to bend over and smell like we’re a couple of dogs in the dog park. I just have a thing for trying to figure out what she ate for dinner the night before.

The thing I don’t like about Britney is that she’s untouchable. She’s one of those celebrities who you will never be able to seduce, not because she isn’t a desperate stupid girl that would probably be impressed with by a shiny new quarter, but because K-Fed has damaged her and from this point on it’ll be impossible to be the next K-Fed, which is too bad because it was kind of a retirement dream of mine.

She prove that so much can change in a person from the age of 16 to 25 and she’s pretty much doing everything we all hoped she would do, like showing off her tits and pussy and rockin’ jeans that don’t fit because she’s living the dream that she’s still a size small. Unfortunately it’s about 10 years too late, but I usually take what I can get.

Here she is with some ass cleavage.

Related Posts:

Britney Spears Fat Chick Cleavage Pics
Britney Spears Vagina Slip
Britney Spears Ass Crack in Some Bra Outfit
Britney’s Birthday Panty Ass Flash

Posted in:Ass|Britney Spears|cleavage|Jeans|Unsorted

2007

17

Oct

I am – Hilary Duff on Set of Greta of the Day

3 Comments »

I originally planned on posting these pictures because they show off how hard Hilary Duff’s working life is, you know having to run around like an asshole and crawl on the ground after wrestling a bitch for her bag like she was a 10 year old kid in the park fighting over a chocolate bar, which is probably where this fat ass got her inspiration from, because her ugly sister used to emotionally eat all the chocolate in the house when they were growing up and before developing an eating disorder, because food heals a broken soul who is jealous of her sister’s success….and Hilary sometimes just wanted a Milky Way baby.

But then I checked my email and the paparazzi are after me for the last set of Hilary Duff I posted, so I decided to let them know that I am like Gangster like T.I. and don’t give a fuck cuz I found this shit on a message board.

Hilary Duff Nipples and Stupid Tights of the Day

You are posting these images of Hilary Duff illegally.
We hold the copyright and you have not obtained a license to use this photo.
Please remove all Splash images immediately or legal action will follow.
If you would like to discuss rates and feature splash material legally please contact me at 310 821 2666 ext 117.
Cheers Griff
—
SPLASH NEWS
333 W. Washington Boulevard, Suite 508
Marina del Rey – CA 90292 – USA
Tel 001 310 821 2666 – Fax 001 310 396 5152

Andrew Griffiths
agriffiths@splashnews.com
Splash News Sales

I am offended that they didn’t open up with this email with some greeting. I replied telling them I have no money and can’t pay them and would like them to pay me for the damages all their harassment is causing me emotionally. Either way, here are the Hilary Duff getting paid to play in some Oscar worthy performance that will be overlooked because the movie’s going straight to fucking video and if it’s not, it should. Cuddles.

Related Posts:

Hilary Duff Wet Nipples
Hilary Duff Eating Ice Cream
Splash News Slanders My Website in the Comments

Posted in:Acting|Ass|Hilary Duff|On Set|Unsorted

2007

12

Oct

I am – Chanelle Hayes and Bianca Gascoigne in Spain in Bikinis of the Day

2 Comments »

They say that you are the company you keep…or that people who pray together stay together or I don’t know what I am fucking getting at here but I have never heard of this Chanelle Hayes bitch from Big Brother UK, but I can only assume she’s a useless party slut who takes all the dick thrown her way while drunk and disorderly because she hangs out with this Bianca Gascoigne slut.

I was talking to a some girl who pretends she wants to fuck me yesterday about her sexual history. She was in some bible group until she was 20 and then decided to lose her virginity to her long time boyfriend because the pressure was on. Since losing her virginity she’s been a cock tease to every guy who crosses her path, showing off the right amount of skin and talking the right kind of sleazy smack to make them want to fuck her, but never putting out because she felt her pussy was a prize that was only for deserving people. She’s now 27 and has only been fucked by 2 cocks and is sending me cock teasing messages about how bad she wants me and I decided that I like a girl who hasn’t been violated by every dude who gives her a little attention, I like that she cock teased them and made them suffer while sitting at home jerking off to thoughts of her, I like that she could have fucked 100s of men like almost every woman out there because guys are horny and she chose not to.

What I am getting at is that there’s this fine line of being slutty enough to make me want to fuck you in how you dress and act and not actually being a slut who takes every cock that comes your way but knowing how to fuck like a slut behind close doors for me because I am the fucking prize and all that really matters is whether bitch takes it up the ass or not….

Too bad I am impotent…

Related Posts:

Bianca Gascoigne Nipple Slip in a Bikini
Bianca Gascoigne Topless
Bianca Gascoigne Pantyless Upskirt
Bianca Gascoigne Lingerie Pictures

Posted in:Ass|Bianca Gascoigne|Bikini|Chanelle Hayes|Unsorted

2007

10

Oct

I am – Joanna Krupa 2008 Topless Calendar Pictures of the Day

No Comments »

Joanna Krupa is a model who has been on the cover of a ton of magazines and has been in Playboy because she is hot and looks good naked. I have no idea what else she’s done as far as work goes but I do know that these topless calendar pics are a good fuckin’ move because she is hot and looks good naked. She was born in Poland so I can only assume she got her career started at a young age as a contortionist who would balance on a Ball with a bear during the communist years when Poland was known for their circus performers, or maybe she was a Gypsy, like the cunt who lives in the next building over from me. The other day I was walking down the street and she stopped her car next to me and started screaming at me about shit I didn’t understand and could only assume was some kind of relapse into WWII concentration camps. Unfortunately she ended up trying to run me over but missed, because I could have used the insurance settlement and I don’t really need my legs anyway because I like to sit….on Joanna Krupa’s face…because she’s hot and looks good naked.

Related Posts:

Joanna Krupa at an Event in a Nightgown
Joanna Krupa in Lingerie at an Event
Joanna Krupa’s Tit’s Out in Miami
Joanna Krupa at the SI Swimsuit Party

2007

08

Oct

I am – Gisele Bundchen Goes Mountain Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

I am a pervert and as a pervert I fucking love watching girls on bikes. It’s probably got something to do with them staying fit and fitness is like some kind of myth in my life as I watch my wife eat donuts while watching tv, so I think my love for bikes comes from the position a girl is in when she’s riding. You know all bent over ready to take it while the seat gets eaten up by their crotch and their asses just kinda stick out in a way that allows you to stare at them as they ride into the distance, because you know they are too busy watching for traffic, or catching their breath to turn back and catch you jerking off to them. I guess I also like the fact that their tits hang out but you can never get as good of a look because they’ll catch you, and when they do you gotta smile and ask if the seat feel good or if they’d rather replace it with your face.

The other day I was sitting on a bench and this hot chick rode past me in a mini skirt, and I saw pretty much everything she had to offer and it made me feel like I won the lottery, kinda like Gisele. Her thong may not be like winning the lottery unless that shit was left in your hotel room after slammin her, but that’ll never happen to you because just getting into Gisele’s pants is like winning the lottery, and since you’re a loser, winning’s never really been your thing.