I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Bikini Category

2009

10

Jun

Simone Lambe and Michael Ballack at the Pool in Miami of the Day

2 Comments »

Her name is Simone Lambe, she is dating some footballer from Germany named Michael Ballack. She was smart enough to get knocked up by the motherfucker in 2001 and keep the baby, because apparently he’s some kind of superstar over there, and as a groupie, who’s been through the hoops before knows, just fucking the motherfucker won’t keep him around, you need a tangible thing to keep him coming back, and usually groupie pussy isn’t enough of a tangible thing, but for most people babies are. It’s that whole guilt of having them show up on your doorstep 18 years down the road and all the headaches that come with that, so it’s easier to just suck it up and show up and be a dad, I guess.

Anyway, since that first baby they’ve had two more, and even got married in 2008, so her plan fuckin’ worked, it just took 8 years and here is her mom body in a bikini in Miami by the pool…and I am posting it because I am all about posting bikini pictures even if I’ve never heard of the people in them….

Posted in:Bikini|Michael Ballack|Pool|Simone Lambe

2009

09

Jun

Meital Dohan is and Israeli Actress in a Bikini of the Day

9 Comments »

I don’t know much about Israel. I do know it’s a country that was built on some Arab country’s land to give Jews a home because the world felt bad about them during the Holocaust.

I have a few friends from the local Starbucks who got to visit Israel for free because they were Jewish and some organization wanted to brainwash them into feeling guilty that they weren’t in Israel defending their promised land.

I hear they have good beaches, hot bitches, and that Israeli Jews are more hardcore, fun and interesting that North American jews who are whiny, wheezy, wimpy and have this superiority complex and think the rest of the world doesn’t exist, making them annoying to be stuck behind in line, or serving in a restaurant, not to mention a lot of the girls look like rats, with their weird hook noses, eyes that are too close together and health issues all from inbreeding, I mea some of them have dad’s who were smart enough to marry a non-Jew to get some new genes in the pool, or are nice enough to buy beauty with plastic surgery, the right clothes, and weekly hair appointments, so they aren’t ALL gremlin-lookin motherfuckers…

So I have no idea who Meital Dohan is, but she’s an Israeli actress, she’s on the beach and here tit is falling out of her bikini and it’s alright….

Video Via: ProseBeforeHos

Posted in:Beach|Bikini|Meital Dohan|Nipple

2009

08

Jun

Kelly Carlson and Her Bikini of the Day

4 Comments »

I wasn’t in the mood to go to a bar, it is getting too repetitive for me. You know same ugly, depressing, useless people, too much booze, waste of money, horrible hangover is getting boring. So I went to a rich friend’s house instead and motherfucker decided to hire a craiglsit whore. She was this busty blonde girl who was probably 20 years old and whores just don’t work how they used to.

First of all, bitch made us fill out a fucking form, like we were applying for welfare or a fucking job or some shit, I refused and just watched my friend fuck her in some seriously uninpsired sex, while I went over her pricelist and was really comfortable in the fact that she offered bareback blowjobs, deep french kissing, cum swallowing and a whole other list of shit I wouldn’t want to pay for, knowing that that night alone, 10 other dudes probably paid for it.

The whole thing was uninspiring, but Kelly Carlson filming this scene for Nip/Tuck in a white bikini is. It brings me hope that one day I won’t have to pay 100 dollars to cum in a bitch that looks like this and I’ll get it for free.

Posted in:Bikini|Kelly Carlson

2009

08

Jun

Amy Winehouse and Her Bikini of the Day

9 Comments »

I don’t know why Amy Winehouse always seduces me with her scabby pussy. She must know that rotting flesh, lepers and bacterial infections are all my fetishes. It’s like she meets all the requirements I have in a woman, from money, to instability and addiction, to emaciated disgusting bodies with tits, to Judaism, cuz there’s no way I want a non-Jew baby, just because Jews have it easy, you know since that whole Holocaust thing, and none of that matters because she’ll never be mine, but the pictures to jerk off to will, I’ll just have to ignore the chubby normal lookin chick and the underage island girls, cuz otherwise that’d be creepy…

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Bikini

2009

08

Jun

Geri Halliwell in Her Bikini on Vacation of the Day

2 Comments »

I am in the school of thought that a real hot body only comes on an 18 year old girl and when I look at anything older that 25, I usually get turned the fuck off. From the haggard crows feet, to the fat uterus from baby making, to the desperate attempts to keep things sexy, like wearing wedge heels to give the illusion of longer and leaner legs, and I realize that I am pushing 300 pounds and my wife is even fatter than me, so I really don’t have a authority to shit on Geri Halliwell, but I wouldn’t mind if I did, because I may be against scat, but when it involves an ex-Spice Girl, I’ll bring the shit.

Either way, she’s on vacation with some sun burnt dude and these are the pics.

Posted in:Bikini|Geri Halliwell

2009

05

Jun

Eva Longoria in some Bikini Bullshit Part 2 of the Day

3 Comments »

I feel like I’ve already done this post, mainly because I have. I just figured you’d want to see the rest of the pictures of Eva Longoria in her bikini, because you haven’t missed an episode of desperate housewives since shit started, either because you’re a pussy and your wife makes you do it, or because you have a pussy or wish you had a pussy and you’re just trying to relate to what pussy finds relevant and entertaining, or cuz you like lookin at this dirty Mexican’s hot little body.

Posted in:Bikini|Eva Longoria

2009

04

Jun

Rachel Hunter Was a Bikini Model of the Day

14 Comments »

I never understood the Rachel Hunter appeal when she was big in the 80s, I always just assumed it was a glitch in the modeling agency process, like she squeezed in because at the time plus sized models didn’t exist, but SI needed someone with tits and she was eager or some shit, you know a right time, right place situation, but then Rod Stewart swept her up, because one day when he was feeling hetero he picked up the issue of SI and said get me the biggest blonde in here to reaffirm to the public that I am all fuckin’ man, and chose her because she was the one who looked most like his first love he met in a gay bath house named “Roger” but pronounced “RawJay”, like he was french, but really nothing but a poof.

Either way, she’s still around, she looks like hell, and if you jerked off to her 20 years ago, here’s the aftermath.

Posted in:Bikini|Haggard|Model|Rachel Hunter

2009

04

Jun

Tila Tequila’s Bikini Cry For Attention of the Day

2 Comments »

It is kind of funny how simple the world is for a female celebrity. All she has to do is get into a bikini and all the idiot dudes start clicking, giving them the attention they want.

It is a lot like the local party slut with her tits busting out of her low cut top, so that everyone in the bar looks her way, because the world isn’t that complicated, men like pussy and pussy that advertises itself is more interesting to look at than pussy in a fucking turtleneck sweater, girls who seem like they’d put out, seem like less work than girls who keep shit classy.

So even if you just plan on treating that pussy like the slut that it is and never plan on bringing it out in public with you or to meet your mother, or even if you just stand on the sidelines appreciating the show, because you aren’t down with HIV, you can appreciate that Daddy issues don’t seem to be such a bad thing, sure the pussy gets ravaged more than the non-Daddy issue pussy, but in their quest for attention, they end up money makin’ and a hell of a lot more opportunity lands on their numerous abortion lap.

That’s not to say girls in bikini are slutty, but it is to say that girls who pose in bikinis for any attention they can didn’t get enough attention from their dads and have just figured out the marketing mystery to have people notice them and their fake tits.

Posted in:Bikini|Tila Tequila

2009

02

Jun

John and Kate Continue The Publicity Push of the Day

20 Comments »

Here is the fame hungry whore, the one who pushed her husband away, forcing him to cheat on her, because she got caught up in the limelight, and figured if he did cheat on her, it’d make for a good season, because nothing on TV is real and because she only cares about money and other pussy, since there’s no way she’s not a fucking dyke.

Here she is showing off the TLC funded tummy tuck in her bikini because it’s the easiest way to get media coverage and stay in the tabloids, because the internet likes bikini pictures, it’s really the only reason you’re on this site right now, I don’t kid myself into thinking it is for my genius, uneducated writing….

Anyway, this bitch represents the devil and knowing 8 kids have crawled out of that pussy is pretty disgusting but who knows, maybe you’re down.

Posted in:Bikini|John and Kate Plus 8

2009

01

Jun

John and Kate Plus 8 in a Bikini of the Day

7 Comments »

You gotta respect these two. They have managed to do what we’ve all thought about and that’s create their own little army of motherfuckers to take on work and provide for the motherfuckin’ family. You know your own little creation that you can exploit the fuck out of and make millions of fucking dollars off of and now they are releasing scandals, affairs and cheating on a the power hungry, controling cunt, who started out as a lesbian before taking on this money making scheme that has worked.

Here is her boxy body in a bikini, something that may not look ideal, but she’s had 8 fucking kids inside her and her lebian haircut is enough to get all the bull dykes excited enough to get a mouthful of her mom pussy because there’s a lot to go the fuck around….

Posted in:Bikini|John and Kate