I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Bikini Category

2008

02

Sep

Britney Spears in Her Bikini on Labor Day of the Day

3 Comments »

So Britney is on some diet to try and get her body back into her original teenage goodness, I don’t think it’ll happen because she’s had a bunch of kids, but I do think she looks better than her sloppy crazy covered in dirt and probably stinky self of a few months ago, despite the fact that I like sloppy dirt covered girls because it usually means they have given up and when a girl has given up she usually lets guys like me inside them, knowing that it’s something they’d never do if they were of sound body as mind, but it makes no difference to me, except for the whole trying to ignore the tears running down their face so I can focus and finish what I’ve started and having the girl I’m inside crying is a buzzkill, but definitely not a deal breaker, once I get going, there’s no way I’m stopping, if you know what I mean.

Britney is actually inspiring and I figure if she can do it, so can I, so yesterday, I decided to do some moderate exercise to start the day in hopes of getting fit so I can leave my wife for some hotter, richer, older lady lookin’ for a Mexican who doesn’t pass out walking up a flight of stairs, so there I was trying to do jumping jacks, naked, with no blinds when my psycho eastern European neighbor who constantly yells at her dog and kids like they were back in communist country and has even threatened to call the cops on me at least 40 times for various insane reasons, saw me. She didn’t turn away, like I would if I got busted lookin at a chick naked from her fire escape, she just stared, laugh and shook her head, I think she even went to get her camera to post the shit on youtube, but I had done my 5 jumping jacks at that point and decided to give up on the whole exercise, but thankfully Britney hasn’t and here’s her new body.

Posted in:Bikini|Britney Spears

2008

29

Aug

Katie Lohman is in Her Bikini for Charity of the Day

11 Comments »

Katie Lohman is some kind of actress and I don’t know whether she has been in Playboy but I assume that’s the next step for her because it looks like up until this point, her biggest movie role was in a National Lampoon straight to video movie called Dorm Daze. I just read her bio and the biggest mistake of her career was that her mother didn’t let her join the Mickey Mouse Club show that she got casted for because her mother thought it would be more important to get a shitty high school education at a public school instead of one by the very same tutors who made Britney Spears the academic that she is. The reality is that she would have been lined up with Timberlake, Aguilera and all the other Mickey Mouse club trash with a lot of money, instead of struggling for attention in a bikini at some charity event last week. I guess who really cares, but it’s one of those opportunities Eminem told me about in the movie 8 mile and I guess a desperate girl is a lot more appealing than an established one, like just the other day I got to talking to some hot slut who just had her phone and purse stolen and was crying and she hugged me in her moment of despair and as her firm tits pressed against me, I realized that I could have totally banged her, so next week’s goal is to try to steal as many purses as fucking possible from as many hot chicks as possible only to move in on them like the shark that I wish I was. Next week’s reality is that I will be here sitting on the shit smelling couch like I always do, but I think it’s nice to dream sometimes.

Posted in:Bikini|Charity|Katie Lohman

2008

28

Aug

Keely Shaye Smith Bronsan is Still Fat in Her Bikini of the Day

14 Comments »

[ Images removed in compliance with DMCA Notice ]

Keely Shaye Smith, although not as fat as my wife, is still not the woman Pierce Bronsan married. We should give her some recognition of the achievement that is wearing a bikini, not because she is defying the norm and embracing her really fat flaws that are more laziness and overeating than actual flaws, like a woman accepting who she is and not letting her stop her like she’s some kind of amputee going for a jog or some shit and doesn’t deserve that kind of acknowledgment or reward, but the mere fact that she managed to find a bikini in her size is legendary and one for the fuckin’ books. She’s disgusting, has no business getting out of her elastic waste band fat chick jeans, but does it anyway and I’d thank her for encouraging other fat chicks to do the same, but the last thing I want is to see more obesity scantily glad, so instead I’ll just tell her to fuck herself.

[ Images removed in compliance with DMCA Notice ]

Posted in:Bikini|Fat|Keely Shaye Smith Bronsan

2008

28

Aug

Madonna is a 50 Year Old in Fishnets and Lingerie in Concert of the Day

8 Comments »

I am sure I am not the only person who has masturbated to Madonna in their lifetime. Whether it was the movie Truth or Dare or her Sex book, she was always a driving force in being a naughty little girl. Unfortunately, like all naught little girls, they grow up and now she’s 50, on tour and trying to hold onto the fact that we all jerked off to her at one point in our lives, without realizing that her vagina has expired. She is pretty fit for an old lady but still an old lady and I, along with the front row at her concert are happy her underwear bottoms and fishnet outfit she’s wearing are tight enough to keep her shit in place, because I’d hate to see her uterus fall on the stage, actually I’d probably love it, but it would still be disgusting to see. This is her at her concert in Nice France and shit’s definitely not as Nice as it could be. You liked that shitty play on words, admit it.

Posted in:Bikini|Concert|Lingerie|Madonna

2008

27

Aug

Julia Roberts is in a Bikini of the Day

11 Comments »

Everyone has those days where they feel like they look like shit. In Julia Roberts’ case, she’s actually got a reason to, because she does look like shit. I mean all the movie magic, make up, body doubles in the world can’t make her something I’d ever want to have sex with when sober, booze on the other hand makes me do a lot of things I regret and the fact that her womb is worth millions, kinda counterbalances the fact that she’s busted.

Lucky her, the paparazzi were there to snap off these pictures of her in a bikini, normally the only time a guy looks at her in a bikini is when she writes a check to the dude she promised an exuberant life of luxury to under the condition that he knocked her up

It is beyond me when she was such a big deal in the 90s, I have no idea how this homely cow went from rags to the highest paid actress in her time, but I can only assume her blowjob is spectacular, because it is really the only way.

Posted in:Bikini|Julia Roberts

2008

27

Aug

Elisabetta Gregoraci and Her Hot Ass with her Old Husband of the Day

8 Comments »

Elisabetta Gregoraci is some model who is married to some almost billionaire old guy who is the president of the Grand Prix race car races. She’s got a hot fuckin’ body, one that would cost 5,000 dollars an hour or 30,000 dollars for the weekend under normal circumstances, but because she has a career of her own, she likes to keep her high class escorting masked as a marriage. Everyone shits on her for being a wallet fucker and no one shits on him for being a pervert who likes young pussy and gets young pussy using her wallet and is just another example of how we live in a man’s world and it’s just not fair for fleshy crotched sister, but the way I see it, there are a whole lot of rich young guys out there. The kind who have rich parents, trust funds and even successful careers of her own, so callin’ this bitch out on marrying for money not love, when she has other options, is wrong when it’s pretty obvious that the root of all this is Daddy Issues. Something I fully support because without daddy issues, going to the stripclub or meeting sluts craving attention by flashing her tits at the bar wouldn’t exist and they are things I pretty much need to live.

Posted in:Bikini|Elisabetta Gregoraci

2008

27

Aug

DeAnna Pappas and Her Fake Husband on the Beach of the Day

6 Comments »

DeAnna Pappas and the guy who won her heart from 20 other guys on the Bachelorette last season were out showing the world that they are in fact in love and are no way contractually obliged to stay together or seemingly stay together after the show by making random photo op outings all to to make the legitimacy of the show seem more than just a cheap ploy to manipulate the public, who are bored in their own life and need these reality shows to connect with people they think are like them and live vicariously through. Advertisers love it, producers make more money because the cast are just average attention craving joes who don’t demand celebrity prices and everyone’s a fuckin’ winner in the end, even the dudes who lost out to this asshole are winners, because they got their 5 minutes on TV that they can tell their kids about, they also got to get up in this bitch, without having to spend a year pretending they love her fat spic ass. She’s definitely nothing special but better than nothing and that’s pretty much the same way I feel about these bikini pics.

Posted in:Bachelorette|Bikini|DeAnna Pappas

2008

26

Aug

Danielle Lloyd’s Got an Orange Bikini of the Day

6 Comments »

This Danielle Lloyd Bitch busted out a bikini as she often does when she’s not drunk in the club. I guess the goal is to get some sun on her pasty British body and to spend some of the money she’s made as a UK model. If anything, Danielle gives hope to average lookin’ chicks that their dreams of being slutty models can come true all they have to do is move to the UK because clearly becoming a model in the UK doesn’t really take much more than having a decent set of tits. If this girl was in any other market, she’d get laughed out of the photographer’s studio, unless of course he was a snuff photographer who never turns down a girl he thinks no one will miss when she’s gone. Here she is in her bikini.

Posted in:Bikini|Danielle Lloyd

2008

26

Aug

Hayden Panettiere’s Got a Bikini on for her Birthday of the Day

7 Comments »

People have contacted me concerned that I haven’t updated the site and it is already 2 pm, well the reason for that is simple, I was out celebrating Hayden Panettiere’s birthday, not because I find her hot or interesting, or because I was invited to her seemingly boring as fuck get together with her dog, her most loyal of friends, but because I like any excuse to get wasted. Tonight’s excuse is College Frosh Week.

She looks like a fuckin’ clown with her party hat perched on her big midget head and her rippling muscles are something only a really horny guy or gay dude would find sexy, but she’s rumored to be having a nipple slip that I can’t make out, which shouldn’t be anything to get excited over considering she’s the kind of girl who can pass off going topless at a non-topless beach because people wouldn’t know whether those muscles were a man or a woman, but they are good enough for me because I have low standards and that makes them good enough for you.

Posted in:Bikini|Hayden Panettiere|Nipple Slip|Uncategorized

2008

25

Aug

Ali Larter Has Some Hard Nipples in Her Bikini of the Day

7 Comments »

Ali Larter is some Heroes actress you all want to fuck and she’s wearing a bikini. Before Heroes, she was in a whole pile of shitty movies you’ve never seen including some National Lampoon piece of shit called Homo Erectus, where she met her fiance, proving that shitty movies, despite not making money, going straight to DVD and being an embarrassment to an aspiring writer, director or producer’s career, can still bring a lifetime of happiness to some people. Another thing that brings a lifetime of happiness: the bikini, and here she is with her hard nipples in one.

I could go on about how drunk I got, how I almost got in a fight and all the other weirdness that went on this weekend but I have a whole week of writing to do, so I’ll leave you with these pictures and the hope of more things to come for now…..

Posted in:Ali Larter|Bikini|Nipples