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Archive for the Bikini Category

2008

27

Jun

Oksana Andersson Rocks Out in a Bikini of the Day

Her name is Oksana Andersson and she’s some import wife of some Soccer player I know nothing about because I don’t watch sports and if I did, soccer wouldn’t be one of them, because seeing a bunch of dudes running around in the grass, all light on their feet, trying to get the ball in the net, without touching each other is just a little too reminiscent of the Gay porn I starred in. I was stuck for cash and instead of a field, it was a back alley and instead of a group of dudes trying to get the ball in the net, it was a group of dudes trying to get the balls deep in the anus, so I guess it really isn’t anything like that experience, maybe it’s just that since that horrid night, groups of men just make me feel uncomfortable, or maybe it’s because the only soccer coach I ever knew in life used to rape the little boys, giving a whole new dimension to the sport.

Either way, Oksana Andersson is obviously a mail order bride dude picked out of a catalog and modified to his liking by throwing on some tit like she’s some Japanese car in desperate need of some sub-woofers, and she is probably very grateful he helped her get out of war torn Russia that she won’t stray and if she acts up a bit, he’ll just show her pictures of people lined up for their rationed bread to keep her in check.

Here she is in a bikini….

Here she is topless…..

Posted in:Bikini|Oksana Andersson|Topless

2008

26

Jun

Michelle Huziker Bikini Ass Pictures of the Day

This is some Model who I’ve never heard of and who is less important than the girl who works at your local drug store, but that’s just because she hands out Methodone, HIV Cocktails, Valtrex and Birth Control to the people while all this girl does is prance around in her ass leading the public to need HIV Cocktails, Valtrex and Birth Control to deal with the poor decisions they make after getting horny from hanging out on the internet watching porn.

Posted in:Bikini|Michelle Huziker

2008

26

Jun

Coleen McLoughlin Honeymoon Bikini Pictures of the Day

Here’s yet another dumpy chick from the UK in her bikini, not because all chicks from the UK are Dumpy, but because she’s married to a soccer player and with this whole Euro shit going on, I can’t leave my house without running into some fucking immigrant carrying his team’s flag and it’s starting to annoy me.

What doesn’t really annoy me is the fact that soccer players land the trashiest girls out there, they are like the pussy you fuck when you are out of town on business and you leave the wife at home with the kids and feel like it’s time for new pussy and conveniently a drunk girl in a messed up party dress on the verge of passing out or throwing up falls up on you and mistakes you for her boyfriend who was actually just a random dude from the same bar the previous week who had his way with her, but she doesn’t know the difference, her timelines are all messed up and she’s been this drunken mess for the past 6 years so she ends up showing you the same good time she’s shown many men. But for some reason, one night while out, they win the fucking lottery and some rich soccer playing dude falls in love with them because she gives a better blowjob than his teammates and next thing you know, you’re honeymooning in Vegas, showing the world your fat ass that is only going to get fatter. It’s really one of life’s great mysteries.

Posted in:Bikini|Coleen McLoughlin|Honeymoon

2008

26

Jun

DeAnna Pappas is the Bachelorette in a Bikini of the Day

The show the Bachelorette pretty much advocates STDs and a polyamourous lifestyle. It’s like before the eyes of America, you test out as many men as the network will throw at you, to decide which one you are going to pretend to fall in love with and pretend to date for a year because it’s all written in your contract that you had to sign the job to be the next piece of ass who basically whores herself out on TV by hooking up with differnent dudes everynight while they sit and wait around for her to decide if they are worthy, like a bunch of assholes. Seems like a good enough concept for a show and here is the star in her bikini.

Posted in:Bachelorette|Bikini|DeAnna Pappas

2008

25

Jun

Minnie Driver and Her Pregnant Bikini Pictures of the Day

Whoever said the miracle of life is a beautiful thing was wrong. That’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Bikini|Minnie Driver|Pregnant

2008

25

Jun

Tea Leoni Bikini Pictures of the Day

I used to find myself oddly attracted to Tea Leoni, that was up until today. I remember she used to be on some TV show before the dude for X-Files knocked her up and she fell off the map but she definitely had her window, a window that has been closed and remains closed but in honor of her year that she calls her glory days, here she is in a bikini top with her little STD.

Posted in:Bikini|Tea Leoni

2008

25

Jun

Britney Spears Stalker Bikini Pictures of the Day

The paparazzi are after me again, so I’ve been laying low. I got hit for every single post I did yesterday. You’d think they’d be too busy running after celebrities to bother with people like me, but I guess they’re making so much money off these fuckers they can afford a staff to cover all angles, and by all angles I mean climbing trees in Britney’s backyard to snap off these pics of her.

Either way, she’s in a bikini and people say she looks pregnant, I say she just looks fat, but the good kind of fat that isn’t floppy and cellulite ridden, so she’s not disgusting to look at. What is disgusting is that I heard that she’s still got an unborn 6 month old dead fetus in her from the last pregnancy that hasn’t been removed because she is emotionally attached to it or some shit and that story may be a lie but it at least it also explains the smell she’s been exuding. It’s one of those kill 2 birds with one AIDS dick situation.

Posted in:Bikini|Britney Spears

2008

24

Jun

Katherine Heigl is in her Bikini Again of the Day

This is the third set of pictures that hit of Katherine Bell in her bikini on vacation and it’s come to the point where it is just gratuitous. I guess she figures the more she puts herself out there the more likely we’ll get used to the mess that is her ass and decided that she’s hot and worth fucking. It’s like the immediate shock we once had of her cellulite ridden legs is behind us and we’ve come to terms with things, digested them and are ready to cum on her face. It’s a decent strategy that reminds me of everytime I show a girl my penis and she looks at it with disgust but after a few months and a few drinks and some sweet talking she decides small or not it’s worth taking for a ride because there’s nothing else around at there’s a gun pointed at my head. Nothing like being the enforcer of good times.

Posted in:Bikini|Katherine Heigl

2008

24

Jun

Cheryl Tweey Cole in her Animal Print Bathing Suit of the Day

I read somewhere that Cheryl Tweedy Cole is trying to save her marriage and in doing that she’s decided to go on vacation with her husband to re-connect which basically means spend a couple days together fucking. I figure that since this bitch’s life is a vacation since she barely works and married a rich athlete and since she’s been spotted by the pool in her bathing suit so many fucking times in the last 2 years, that running off to the pool won’t do much for them.

I guess what it comes down to is that when the novelty of the big dick and dreams of being with a rap superstar wear off, they are just two people from the opposite sides of the tracks and I don’t know who they were trying to fool in this union, I knew it was only a matter of time before racism would prevail and their little fairytail union would fall apart and now no white dude’s going to want to get a piece because she’s damaged goods. Interracial relationships just don’t work, White Power.

Posted in:Bikini|Cheryl Tweedy Cole

2008

24

Jun

Orlando Bloom’s Naked Ass of the Day

Here are some pictures of Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom on a vacation tanning naked as they are supposed to. The highlight of the pictures have to be finally seeing Orlando Bloom’s ass. Dude was so dreamy in Pirates that I’ve just been waiting for this day for the last 5 years. It’s days like today that I want to take off my Crocodile Dundee Hat, put my pet Kangaroo back in his cage, drink a couple of Beers and sing Waltzing Matilda to celebrate Australia because I support all things white trash and Australia was pretty much built on that shit and deserves some fuckin’ love for their naked exports that are a lot more worthy of love than Vegemite or Steve Irwin.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Miranda Kerr|Naked|Orlando Bloom|Topless