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Archive for the Bikini Category

2008

01

Apr

Janice Dickinson is 50 and Rockin’ a Bikini of the Day

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Plastic surgery seems to work because Janice Dickinson is in her 50s and the only thing that scared me a little was her old flat ass, but I can look past that considering I am the same guy who used to get hard sponge bathing old ladies when I worked as an orderly at the old folks home before getting fired and I can’t forget my roots. Not to mention that pretty much every girl I’ve slammed has had a worse ass than this mess, but I am the kind of guy who takes whatever I can get even if it was disgusting because my penis could always see past that. I have a feeling that getting with someone like Janice Dickinson is that bitch has seen more cock than my uncle Hector who was a chicken farmer, yeah that joke sucked but it’s not really a joke because it’s true and I bet she is the closest thing you sick serial killer readers can get to fuckin’ a real live corpse that’s vagina still gyrates because it has a life of it’s own and the body is still kinda warm . I am not sure what I am talking about but I am hooked on these pics.

More Pictures from Her Vacation….

Bonus – Janice Dickinson Does a Commercial for Orbit that I don’t Understand

Posted in:Bikini|Janice Dickinson|Tits

2008

31

Mar

Sarah Larson’s Drunken Party Pics of the Day

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George Clooney met a cocktail waitress in Vegas and made her his girlfriend and everyone is so fuckin’ shocked that she was some kind of slutty party girl. The way I see it, if any girl moves to Vegas, it’s usually because she’s slutty, likes money and likes partying. So they go to the best city in the USA for that and end up making money some way or another with their tits, whether it’s working the Casino’s in costume, working the clubs as GoGo dancers or being some kind of escort to high profile rich guys who are on a weekend getaway from their wives. It turns out that Sarah Larson was paid to get drunk and slutty by a club as some kind of entertainment for their guests and here are the pictures.

People may be criticizing Clooney for dating this kind of trash, but when you are in your 40s, are accomplished in your career and have all the money in the world, it’s like a breath of fresh air to meet a young, energetic party girl who likes to fuck. She doesn’t want to go back to her old lifestyle and wants to keep dude happy so that he keeps paying her to be his own personal party slut and that’s a better life than what she was living for tons of random dudes who would just leave her in Vegas when they were done with her and had to go back to their middle managment lives after their spent their 10,000 dollar weekend party budget. So what that means is that she will suck Clooney off wheever he wants her to, and there’s really not much better than that when you’ve already made it.

If I was Clooney, the last thing I’d want is a high maintenance, whining actress who is too obsessed with her own stresses and career and money to get on all fours by my pool at my Villa in Italy forcing me to bang every other slut I meet behind her back, because despite that being more fun, it’s not a healthy way of life and comes with a whole other barrel of problems, so you might as well just lock down a slut to begin with because you know bitch isn’t going anywhere. Not to mention, she’s got a pretty hot ass, especially when crawling all up on her friend while her pussy lip is hanging out.

Posted in:Bikini|Drunk|George Clooney|Sarah Larson|Slut

2008

25

Mar

Simona Fusco Stratten in a Bikini of the Day

2 Comments »

Her name is Simona Fusco Stratten and these are some pictures of her in a bikini that hit the other day, I am slow on posting this shit but figure you like lookin’ at girls in bikinis because your life probably lacks that so I am doing them anyway. I think lookin at her pretty hot body is a lot better than the girls I get stuck lookin’ at every time I hit the beach I go with high fuckin’ hopes, like that maybe there will be some young girls tanning topless and playing volleyball or tanning with their hot bodies, but it always seems to end up being a beach for the elderly women who aren’t scared of skin cancer.

You know in one piece bathing suits that instead of drawing attention to their tits, draw attention to their huge stomachs that if lucky enough leave a gap big enough for you to see some old lady vagina because of the stomach overhang, because let’s face it, there’s not always enough fabric to cover a fat bitch up proper. The good news is that at least you get to see some box and they don’t really mind because they like the male attention, it reminds them of their younger years and feel like they still have sex appeal and take that home to their husbands that night with a nostalgic blowjob….

Either way, here’s Simona Fusco Stratten.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Simona Fusco Stratten|Tits

2008

25

Mar

Emma B in a Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »


Her name is Emma Balfour and I don’t know what she does. I feel like posting some pictures of girls in bikinis because I got nothing better to do todayand I figure all you virgins who email me telling me you use my site to jerk off, which by the way makes me feel uncomfortable, are lookin’ for something worth jerkin off to.

I know that I wouldn’t be getting off to this shit if my dick worked but that’s just because she looks like this drag queen I once did shots with at a club, you know long skinny legs from being a marathon runner on his spare time when he wasn’t wearing panties and retarded fake tits that look like bowling balls on a mini ass.

My theory is if you get off to this bitch, you pretty much are gay but I’m just basing it all on the balls she’s got stuffed in that bikini bottom, who knows maybe she just has a low hanging vagina.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Emma B

2008

21

Mar

Penelope Cruz Boring Bikini Pictures of the Day

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Boring as Fuck…..

Posted in:Bikini|Boring|Penelope Cruz

2008

17

Mar

Tara Reid Does Spring Break in Cancun of the Day

6 Comments »

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Sure Tara Reid never went to college, but she played enough roles in movies as the all-american college girl, and that’s probably just as good of an education as American colleges offer. Reality is that half the population already think she’s some college graduate because they saw it happen on screen and to them that is reality because no one has ever taught them the difference between real or fake. This are the same people who are taping pictures of their favorite stars to their pocket pussies and bringing them home to meet their parents when their mom’s bug them enough to finally meet their girlfriends…..

Reality is that Tara Reid doesn’t need an education, she has more money than most people who work all their lives and she has the luxury of living the college party girl until she dies of alcohol poisoning at 40 and here she is in her early 30s rockin’ out in Cancun during Spring Break like she was 18. Sure she’s not flashing her tits, or eating pussy on stage like the other college girls but she’s a seasoned veteran there to offer support to the fresh meat on their first encounter with STDs from multiple sex partners in any given day because she’s already been there and done that. The good news is that she’s not a fat mid western wreck like most Cancun party goers, so here she is in a bikini sobering up before the big nights she has ahead of her hosting Middle Aged Women Gone Wild…because that’s pretty much what she is and that’s why I want to see her naked.

The Paparazzi Made Me Take Down the Pics But You Can See Them Here
GO

Posted in:Bikini|Cancun|Spring Break|Tara Reid

2008

17

Mar

Jennifer Aniston’s Bikini Ass of the Day

5 Comments »

I was reading some women’s magazine the other day, as I like to do, to keep in touch with the other gender. I feel like it fills me with useless information that I can use to seduce women into getting naked for me on webcam because I generally don’t leave my house. My theory is that if you understand what the other species is reading and being fed, you can understand what they are thinking and in turn use it to your advantage in getting a hot young vulnerable girl to flash her tits for the sake of flashing her tits, as long as you use a language they understand.

So this week I learned that there are more men than women in the world so something like 4% of women will never get married, never have a family, never grow old with someone and will instead just die alone. My initial thought was that the 4% of girls who never get married were ugly, fat, disgusting women that no dude would want to end up with, but it turns out that a lot of them are hot, successful and just missed the fuckin’ boat. Maybe they were just saying that to make the lonely, vulnerable, fat disgusting readers feel better about themselves so that they don’t go jumping off any bridges, but maybe it’s true and if it is, Jennifer Aniston is one of those. The only difference is that she was already married, she just wasn’t good at it and forced her man to leave her.

So all the money in the world, all the re-runs of friends with her hard nipples, a hot bikini body still don’t help her lock down a cock, but the reality is that you’d all wait in line to get up in this, she just thinks she’s too good for you because Brad Pitt gave her unrealistic self-worth, even after destroying her on all levels, her low self esteem and rejected self still thinks she’s too good for you…..so stare at her ass and show her who’s boss in the privacy of your own room in your mom’s basement.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Jennifer Aniston|Tits

2008

14

Mar

Teresa Palmer on Set With Adam Sandler in a Bikini of the Day

4 Comments »

Her name is Teresa Palmer and I have no idea who she is, but assume she’s hit her big break starring with Adam Sandler in his new movie. I am not going to admit that I like Adam Sandler, because I don’t, his smile and stupid voices piss me off, but a lot of other people seem to think he’s worth wasting 2 hours of their life over, so I can only assume this is a good career move for her, not that she had the choice, because with roles like “Pool Party People” in Wolf Creek and some secondary role in The Grudge 2, which was a second rate movie, so it’s safe to say bitch has some credit card debt racked up while working towards the dream to pay off….She is from Australia, she’s in a bikini top and I just have to say it’s unfortunate she didn’t take the route of many other failed girls with a dream who ended up suckin’ dick on camera, because I’d like to see how she handles a cock.

That was a long fucking sentence ….Grammar Police where are you, because I think you need to arrest me for slaughtering the English language.

Posted in:Adam Sandler|Bikini|Teresa Palmer|Tits

2008

14

Mar

Melanie Brown Bikini Action of the Day

5 Comments »

I know that I used to love watching the Spice Girl videos back in the day because I didn’t have money or the internet so porn was less accessible and Scary Spice’s tits were retarded. The fact that she did that for me back in my times of needs makes me have a warm sport for her, and that warm spot is not the same kind of warm spot my wife tries to make me touch at night, it’s more the kind that’s in my heart. So despite being 10 years older, a mom and pretty much damaged goods, I’ll still look at her in a bikini and if I could I’d jerk off to it, just for old times sake….

Posted in:Bikini|Melanie Brown|Tits

2008

13

Mar

Ashlee Simpson Bikini Lesbianism of the Day

18 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Ashlee Simpson kissing a topless chick. I wonder what her religious molesting father thinks of this shit.

I know I am sucking today. Someone offered me a free trip to Cancun for Spring Break leaving tomorrow night and I have been doing everything I can to make it happen.

Unfortunately everything was smooth sailing this morning but the travel agent the dude’s booking through cancelled it on us because the resort is over-booked or some bullshit. All my romanticized dreams of a vacation to the motherland where girls flash me while throwing their herpes at me are slowly being flushed down the toilet….I should have expected everything to go wrong for me because nothing ever works out and I suck at life…I’ve been fighting with them on the phone for the last 3 hours but the good news is that at least I am not Pete Wentz.

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Bikini|Tits