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Archive for the Bikini Category

2008

28

Feb

Bijou Philips and Some Shitty Bikini Pictures of the Day

In case you were wondering why my site has AIDS, it’s because some piece of shit cocksucker fucked with it last night without a condom and now they are laughing about how they brought me down with his other internet buddies who helped him right now because they have nothing else to do…since they aren’t getting laid or anything. Either way, I am okay with the downtime because it gives me time to practice my sitting, while eating a bag of chips that I snuck in the house because I knew my wife wasn’t home to steal them from me.

Speaking of AIDS Here are some boring pictures of Bijou Phillips in a bikini and she’s with her DJing that 70s Show boyfriend at the beach which is more interesting than what I am doing right now, which is writing about how boring their lives are and last time I checked when you write about how boring someone’s life is, you’re life isn’t a whole lot better.

I wonder how many dicks that rebellious daughter of a Momma Cass’ ass has seen during her coke fueled, hanging with Paris Hilton, modeling days. I am guessing more than one. Maybe Masterson should let her soak in the ocean a little longer, or does the salt burn the wounds too much and that’s why she’s running out like she just got bitten by a shark… I don’t know what I am talking about, but give me my site back hacker. Thanks in advance.

Love Me or Hate Me? Give me a Call and Let Me Know How You Really Feel….Don’t Hack My Site Again
GO

Posted in:Ass|Bijou Philips|Bikini|Tits

2008

25

Feb

Linda Hogan Bikini Pictures of the Day

In a poor trashy family, when the daughter turns 18 and decides to follow their mom’s footsteps into a lifelong career of stripping, she gets the mother’s implant hand me downs when the mom decides it’s time to upgrade because the only way she’ll land a lap dance is if she has cartoon like tits.

In a rich trashy family, they just get the daughter a set of implants for her 16th birthday because having a flat chested daughter would make people question how real her mom’s tits were, and no one wants to be outted as the middle aged woman with fake tits in the neighborhood, it’s better to keep people wondering….That is until you go out in a bikini and prove to the world that the only thing faker than these tits are your hair and maybe your divorce since it’s a good way to take attention away from your car racing son and his crippling driving skills.

I was always a fan of hand me downs when I was a kid and was forced to wear my foster sister’s jogging pants. I never really complained, sure the pink pants didn’t make me many friends, but I could still get off to the period stain she left behind and at the time that was better than jerking off to National Geographic or Three’s Company. I guess I’ve just always had a thing for fertility….a Fertility that Linda Hogan hasn’t seen in quite a few years, sure she may look good enough to fuck because washed up strippers turn me on, but I know that the steroids have left her barren and there’s nothing hot about pre-mature menopause, except for the whole not being able to get pregnant part and not getting sentenced to the bitch for life, or until the kid dies of a birth defect caused by my broken down sperm that’s seen it’s fair share of toxins and now is seeing the world in human form, makes for a good time.

Posted in:Bikini|Implants|Linda Hogan|Tits

2008

25

Feb

Jennifer Morrison Bikini Gut of the Day

Her name is Jennifer Morrison and these are some pictures of her this last weekend in a bikini because I guess she wasn’t invited to any Oscar parties, because the industry doesn’t know who she is either. So instead of staying at home crying about it, she decided to show us all how she can afford a trip tot he beach with all the money she makes being on the show House. Unfortunately, instead of showing us up, she showed us how bad of a body she has. So unfortunately for her, I am not posting these pictures for you to jerk off to and to help her establish a new perverted fan base, I am posting them to inspire her to go on a fuckin’ diet and take up working out. My theory is that if you want to be on TV, you’ve gotta have the body for it, because if I wanted to see a bitch who looks 2 months pregnant, I’ll just stick to hanging outside the abortion clinic, because I know that those sluts are easy.


Related Posts:


Ivana Trump’s Old Lady Gut in a Bikini
Britney Spears Dancing in a Bikini
Nicole Richie Pregnant Bikini

Posted in:Ass|Belly|Bikini|Jennifer Morrison|Tits

2008

25

Feb

Elsa Pataky Bikini Like’s Big Nosed Oscar Winners of the Day

You know when you see a hot fucking young piece of ass walking down the street with some old ugly motherfucker and you don’t understand what the hell they are doing with them until you see them both get into a convertible Porsche and drive off with smiles on their faces and the wind in their hair, then it all makes sense….The hot slut is a gold digging whore and can see past the dudes obvious deformities by convincing herself that they are charming or cute because they fuckin’ deformity comes with a platinum card.

Elsa Pataky is the pretty much the same story only instead of a convertible, dude’s got an academy award and instead of being old and ugly, dude looks a fuckin’ cartoon sketch you get drawn of you at the fair. I guess that academy award comes with a whole lot more perks than just Porsche, like star treatment internationally, or maybe vacation houses everywhere and lots of down time to fuck and that’s a pretty good trade off for this hot pussy.

So if you’re tired of being a piece of shit loser no one gives a fuck about, you should just go out there an win an academy award and all the pussy will just fall in your lap without anywork despite your ridiculously small penis.


Related Posts:

Elsa Pataky in a Bikini Lookn’ Hot

Posted in:Bikini|Elsa Pataky|Tits

2008

25

Feb

Brooke Hogan’s Bikini Pictures of the Day

I was going to live blog the Academy Awards, then I realized that it would be more exciting to Live Blog a a fucking funeral because shit is equally depressing but at least at a funeral you can seduce a mourning new widow to get in your bed and suck your dick in her recent vulnerable state.

I tried to watch 5 minutes of the shit, but turned it off because I don’t have a TV and was forced to go to this queer 80 year old neighbor’s house, when dude pulled out his dick and started jerking off to Jane Russell or some other hot pussy from his day, I figured it was time to book.

To lighten the post Oscar depression, here are some pictures of Brooke Hogan acting a fool with her fake tits that she tries to pretend aren’t fake tits on the beach. Despite her amazing beach dance moves, she will never win an Oscar, but at least she’s already won our hearts. Right….

Related Posts:

Brooke Hogan in a Bikini Top
Brooke Hogan Dancing Around in Her Underwear on Stage
Brooke Hogan in Assless Pants
Brooke Hogan’s Bikini Ass
Some More Brooke Hogan Bikini Pictures

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Hogan|Implants|Tits

2008

21

Feb

Gemma Atkinson Blue Bikini Pictures of the Day

Gemma Atkinson is some kind of Glamour model which basically means a big breasted whore who lets shitty magazines take pictures of her half naked for people like you to jerk off to because you’ve watched too much real porn in your life and it’s getting played out.

She manages to always pop up in bikinis on beaches, like she’s got nothing better to do but that makes for a good life compared to all you fuckers who are sitting in front of a computer. I guess whoever she’s dating, has a pretty good life too because he is probably a footballer and it seems like they are in high demand. Every slut in the UK is jumping on footballer dick like they are some kind of fashion accessory that determine whether you’re a real UK slut or just a try hard.

It’s some kind of trend, like when the strippers I knew all went out and saved up for breast implants because everyone else was doing it and if you didn’t have them you wouldn’t get invited to any of the exclusive stripper parties and all the other strippers would look down on you and make you feel like you weren’t the real deal.

Either way, here she is in a bikini.

Related Posts:

Gemma Atkinson’s Big Beer Drinkin’ Tits
Gemma Atkinson’s Hairy Stomach in a Bikini
Gemma Surfing in a Bikini
Gemma Atkinson Bikini Action

Posted in:Bikini|Gema Atkinson|Tits

2008

19

Feb

Girls Aloud Bikini Pictures of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

So it turns out that the Girls Aloud sluts from the UK have a new album out, not that I’ve ever heard their other album, but I think it’s safe to say that it wasn’t award winning and either will this. They are just a group of party sluts with a Spice Girl dream and it worked out for them because here they are celebrating their accomplishments in their bikinis, instead of working at the topless diner like they should be….at least Cheryl Tweedy Cole should be while the ugly one stays in the back and does the dishes….no one wants to look at that shit.

Posted in:Bikini|Cheryl Tweedy Cole|Girls Aloud

2008

18

Feb

Laetitia Casta in a Bikini of the Day

Here’s ex-Victoria Secret model named Laetitia Casta in a bikini. She obviously hasn’t had much work in the last 5 years based on her shitty lookin ass and it turns out that her career peaked back then when everyone told her she was the hottest bitch in the world and she got cocky and decided that she didn’t have to work for it anymore and let herself go.

I’ve always thought she had a stupid lookin’ mouth and bad teeth because I remember a time when I couldn’t visit a celebrity porn site without seeing a gallery of her topless and now she’s a nothing and nowhere to be found.

I have nothing else to say right now, I am going to get a drink. Happy President’s Day you Americans, I assume you’re all too busy getting dressed up as or jerking off to pictures of George Bush and all the other past presidents to waste your time reading this site. Cuddles.

Posted in:Bikini|Laetitia Casta

2008

18

Feb

Eva Longoria’s Bikini Ass Pictures of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

If I wanted to see a Mexican in a a bikini, I’d just sneak into my stepdaughter’s room and squeeze into one of hers, again. Unfortunately, I am not very pretty to look at, otherwise I’d be pursuing a career as the first man to grace the cover of Sports Illustrated, but instead I am just humiliating myself in front of myself, which coincidentally is also in front of all my friends. I guess the good news is that watching me in a bikini, despite being pretty fucking homo, is more entertaining than seeing this bitch on all fours.

I know some of you like her, because she’s the second hottest girl on Desperate Housewives, which is like saying she’s the second hottest girl at the burn victim ward of the hospital because she only lost 40 % of her face. If that didn’t make sense, maybe this will….If you put a decent looking girl amongst old hags, you’re going to naturally want to to fuck her and wrongfully think she’s hot.

It’s some brainwashing that TV does to us that make it impossible to reprogram our brains back to normal and part of the reason why you still think Katie Holmes is a hot piece of ass and you still have Dawson’s Creek posters on your wall. Weirdo.

Regardless, I know she is still hotter than anything you’ve ever fucked, but that’s mainly because you’ve only had sex once and it was with a dog, So I know you would still fuck her, even though you think she’s damaged goods for marrying and getting knocked up by a black guy and his basketball playing penis, You’re racist but not racist enough to turn down vagina….

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Eva Longoria|Tits

2008

14

Feb

Jami Gertz Bikini Pictures of the Day

Her name is Jami Gertz and she is in a bikini for Valentine’s Day, is a mom of three, is 43 and despite her monkey-like posture looks a hell of a lot better than Ivana Trump.

I’ve never heard of this girl, but then again I’ve never heard of many people. I am an idiot. I do know that she played Gilda Radner in some made for TV movie and if that’s not hot, I don’t know what is. Gilda Radner may be seen as some kind of legend, but I don’t think I’ve ever got busy with myself to old episodes of her on Saturday Night live. She may have made people laugh but her character had as much sex appeal as my Aids ridden neighbor’s ass, who is also annoying and has stupid jokes and will die before his time, but this Jami Gertz won’t be playing him in a made-for=TV movie, because no one cares about him since he wasn’t on Saturday Night Live. He’s just a heroin addict who used dirty needles and could never hold down a job or lasting relationships. If only he was on Saturday Night live, then maybe he would go down as a legend. Now the only going down he does is to the pharmacy for his meds and down the stairs everyday to find that I’ve stolen his paper. I figure he doesn’t need it.

This post seems depressing – I guess this is proof that you really shouldn’t joke about some things. Happy Valentines Day.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Jami Gertz|Tits