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Archive for the Bikini Category

2009

22

May

Hayden Panettiere is Still on Vacation of the Day

19 Comments »

Hayden Panettiere is still on vacation, or maybe this is working, considering celebrities live the laziest fucking life, unlike me, who is up all day sitting on my couch, taking beer bottles back to buy more beer, or maybe even a can of beefaroni, because like a celebrity I need a personal chef, unfortunately my chef is named Chef Boyardee and he makes his mass produced shit with the most ghetto ingredients to make it affordable, I suck at life and here’s Hayden ownin’ hers in a white bikini, which coincidentally is my favorite color bikini because I am ususally able to spot pussy and I am sure I’ve said this before, but I am a fan of pussy.

Posted in:Bikini|Hayden Panettiere|Vacation

2009

21

May

Kara Dioguardi Bikini Stunt of the Day

4 Comments »

Kara from American Idol is knows for writing really garbage pop songs that outsell actual good music numerous times over. She’s constantly annoyed me throughout the season of American Idol when I accidentally end up watching it because Ryan Seacrest gives me unhealthy boners. Mainly because she’s a horny fucking cougar on the prowl, ready to eat up any pussy that stands between her and the cock, and last night she tried to put her money where her mouth (that has seen many cock) is and sang her ass off and flashed her bikini body to let the bikini girl know she’s still got it. It was a weird fuckin scene, but I never complain when desperate rich sluts feel insecure, it usually means increased probability that I won’t be cummin’ alone when the lights in the bar turn on. Good times.

Here’s the video….

Posted in:Bikini|Kara Dioguardi

2009

19

May

Hayden Panettiere Getting Rubbed Down By a Bruised Ass in her Bikini of the Day

7 Comments »

More Hayden bikini pics, I felt I had no choice but to post them, not because her little body is lookin’ pretty tight, but because of the bruised ass that’s rubbing her down. I assume that is a product of ill-planned lyposuction, you know a little too last minute to recover from because you couldn’t decide whether you were going to go Cannes or not and when you finally decided it was a “GO” and booked your ass fat suction appointment you knew you’d be bruised up but at least you’re old lady ass won’t be cellulite ridden, so thanks for that lady.

Posted in:Bikini|Hayden Panettiere

2009

19

May

Some Dude Named Jesse Spencer and His Girlfriend Louise Griffiths’ Bad Implants on the Beach of the Day

9 Comments »

I have no idea who these people are, but I am not going to let that stop me from posting this shit. The reason I started this site wasn’t to post about shitty celebrities I don’t give a fuck about, I just did it cuz it was easier than going out on the street with a camera trying to convince random chicks to pull stunts in their underwear, so as the months turned into the years, I slowly became a celebrity site, and since I never had an interest in celebrity, I’ve never really been able to spot them, remember their names, or keep track of what they are in, so this motherfucker could be a fuckin’ star for all I know, and I’m only posting this post because of his girlfriend’s shitty fuckin’ implants.

Now I get why a skinny flat chested girl would get a set of tits. They were teased all their lives and they are tired of fuckin’ with their t-shirts on. They are tired of being insecure from not being able to accept being less of a woman. They tell their friends they wanted them cuz so clothes fit them better, but in reality, it’s cuz they are feel inadequate and think it will be the key to happiness, so they get the shit done on a budget, cuz that’s all they can afford and are desperate to end the pain that comes every nice summer day when they are too shy to get into a bikini, not knowing the aftermath will be two offensively round, hard bullshit tits that look about as real as my Gucci sunglasses that I got in China Town for 2 dollars and that say Gusshy on the shits….if you know what I mean….

Posted in:Beach|Bikini|Jesse Spencer|Louise Griffiths

2009

19

May

Hayden Panettiere’s Bikini is on a Boat With Some Plastic Bitches of the Day

9 Comments »

Hayden Panettiere looks pretty good when thrown on a boat with a bunch of old rich hags who are jacked up on Plastic Surgery and look like annoying cunts to be around. She should do it more often because youth is a pretty magical thing, when on a boat with a bunch of vultures staring you down for still having yours while they try to hang onto theirs.

Normally this troll’s success and look offends me, like whenever I see ugly chicks think they are hot because dudes are perverts who are willing to fuck anything and they let it get to their ugly heads, but in this situation, based on comparison, she’s got it goin’ on. Enjoy.

Here are those plastic bitches….

Posted in:Bikini|Hags|Hayden Panettiere|Plastic Surgery

2009

18

May

Tara Reid’s Got France in her Pants Pics of the Day

9 Comments »

Tara Reid’s heart may be close to death from all the cocaine she’s done over the years. You know, one more line and bitch gets Heath Ledgered/River Phoenixed/Chris Farleyed/John Belushied.

But she’s never gonna be dead to me.

Here she is in a bikini in Cannes showing off that sometimes a set of fake tits are like the cherry on the sundae, even though I hate fake tits, not to mention knowing the kind of partying this bitch has gone through over the years, I am sure their perkiness would be a nice change of pace from her sloppy, mangled, hanging vagina.

Here she is after partying….

Here she is arriving in Cannes….

Posted in:Bikini|France|Tara Reid|Tits

2009

15

May

Holly Madison in Some Bikini Parade of the Day

4 Comments »

Holly Madison is a marketing genius or just a desperate for attention, work, money, exposure or maybe just bored and has a lot of time on her hands.

She hosted the world’s largest pool party, or some bikini parade, or something else that involved average lookin’ chicks getting in bikinis, and accepted the Guinness World Record for it. I guess that’s a great honor for a glorified stripper.

The only record the strippers I know have broken are the standard biggest pussy, most herpes outbreaks in a year, most kids with different fathers, you know shit like that.

I am tired, don’t worry, just warmin’ up.

Posted in:Bikini|Bikini Parade|Holly Madison

2009

13

May

Cindy Crawford Does a Bikini Photoshoot of the Day

5 Comments »

Cindy Crawford is 43 years old. She did a bikini photoshoot. I have seen her in person. Recently, when she was promoting some furniture shit here at some discount store and I tried to get her to sign my penis, only to be escorted out of the store before actually meeting her because security caught onto my plan, mainly because I tipped them off in my excited state, litterally, but shit, she looks fuckin’ good.

Posted in:Bikini|Cindy Crawford|Photoshoot

2009

13

May

Beyonce in Covered Up in a Bikini of the Day

8 Comments »

Beyonce is on some vacation with her mom because her husband is back home going on dates with Rihanna and when he’s not jerking off on her tits, he’s jerking off to the pictures of them that were leaked last week, mainly because he likes the dollar signs them shits come with, but also because anything is better than his cunt of a wife.

The good news is that she’s covered her fat ass up in a men’s shirt so that we don’t have to see it. Maybe it’s to give us the illusion that Jay-Z is her man and he owns her, like the cheerleader with the quarterback’s team jacket in those highschool movies, but the reality is that the rocks on the shoreline are the only hard thing in these pictures. She Sloppy.

Here she is at the airport in heels that can’t be any higher in a last attempt to look tall and lean….

Posted in:Beyonce|Bikini|Covered

2009

12

May

Ashley Tisdale Rocks a Bikini of the Day

6 Comments »


Even from a distance and half naked Ashley Tisdale’s weak chin and Jewish troll face, despite being nose jobbed, makes me fucking sick.

Call me an anti semite if you want, but Jewish girls generally don’t have it going on, their droppy faces, hook noses, eyes that are too close together, outrageous hair all remind me of rats crawling out of the sewer. I assume that is from years of being inbred.

They are really only saved from the curse, when the dad is smart enough to get a hot non-jew to convert for him because he is rich, you know brining in a new line of genes to save his kids from the hell that is being Jew-Faced, or if the get a lot of plastic surgery done on daddy’s dime, because he’s ashamed of what he’s created….

No offense to my Jewish readers, even though you’ll take offense to it, because you’re a bunch of fuckin’ whiners, and you feel like I’ve just insulted your people, a people you are very proud of, but I haven’t, I’m just speaking truth, so maybe you should just relax, pull out your Jewish high school yearbook and try to prove me wrong.

Bonus – If you like High School Musical, Then You’ll Love This stepTV Video I shot years ago…

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Bikini