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Archive for the Bikini Category

2009

12

May

I want Heidi Montag-Pratt to Die of the Day

5 Comments »

This is fucking disgusting. No seriously. It makes me fucking mad. I feel the hate in the depths of my bleeding asshole. These motherfuckers play the media in the most obvious way and it works. They know they don’t have to be creative, they can just be annoyingly obvious as they cry for attention as they are pretty much mocking us as they do it and they are getting paid and it is working for them. If only it was this easy for the rest of us, not that I’d ever trade my disgustingly pathetic existence to be this couple, because if I was this couple, I’d do the right fucking thing for society and kill my fuckin’ self. I’m talking murder suicide.

Either way, this is my plea to get you to stop supporting these monsters. Please help make them go away.

Posted in:Bikini|Heidi Montag|Music|Video

2009

11

May

Leighton Meester is in a Bikini on the Beach of the Day

5 Comments »


I saw these pictures earlier, but had no idea who this bitch is, so I didn’t bother posting them, then I realized that everyone fucking posted them and in trying to fit in with other celebrity sites, because they are run by fuckin’ cool people that don’t make me feel uncomfortable, or awkward or a little nervous about their social skills, that exude cool and never desperation as they talk about breasts in a way that makes me believe they may or may not have ever seen a set.

Either way, here she is, next time I’ll let the bikini do the talking and I won’t ignore any bitch who is wearing one. I failed you. Get used to it.

Posted in:Ass|Beach|Bikini|Leighton Meester

2009

06

May

Kelly Ripa is Fucking Ripped of the Day

7 Comments »

I wonder how many sites made the connection with her body being ripped and her name being Ripa. I am thinking 95% of them.

These pictures are disgusting have. Don’t get me wrong, I like skinny girls, but not fitness skinny. I like eating disorder and drug addict skinny, because there’s something nice about skin that looks like it’s an extra large condom dangling off my little penis than skin that looks like it’s about to explode like the seam of my wife’s pants when she tries to sit down on the couch.

Whatever the fuck is going on with her sternum/titties is some steroid shit, that reminds me of the WWF and not in a good way, but what really gets me is the penis that is sneaking it’s way out of her belly button.

Sure, hermaphrodites are one of nature’s great luxuries, but the thought of going down on a bitch and having that shit pokin’ me in my forehead freaks me out but not as much as the idea of a sex tape of her husband jerkin it off while getting her pregnant for the fourth time does.

Here she is in Miami.

Posted in:Bikini|Kelly Ripa|Ripped

2009

30

Apr

Lindsay Lohan Hawaii Bikini of the Day

3 Comments »

A-loha(n). Lindsay Lohan’s still looking good in her bikini in Hawaii. She’s rockin’ out with her sister and her monkey lookin’ friend. I’d post the pictures of her sister, but she is 15 and I have a reputation I’m trying to kill. Just the other day I was walking through the park innocently and some season-pushing teenage girls were tanning in the smallest bikinis ever, it wasn’t even that hot out, but I guess they realize that they are in their prime, guys their own age are jerking off to them, guys their dad’s age are too, and they might as well play it up before puberty makes them fat. When I went up to them to ask if they wanted me to make them famous and if they had any fake IDs in the event we got caught, they told me to fuck off and called me a creep, so I’ve vowed to stick to real 18 year old sluts, not cockteasing teenage sluts….I don’t know where I’m going with this, but I guess it was to say that no Ali Lohan pics, and who’d really want them when Lohan’s body so tight it might as well be 14 and jacked on hormones in the food she eats.

Posted in:Bikini|Hawaii|Lindsay Lohan

2009

30

Apr

Kim Kardashian’s Untouched Bikini Pictures of the Day

40 Comments »

Kim Kardashian had a scandal a month ago, that involved her pretty much being fully rebuilt for Complex magazine through photoshop because she is fat and ugly and they were trying to sort that out for her so that instead of turning off their regular readers and luring in people down with fat trannies, they’ll just help keep her lie alive.

So in efforts to trick us, she’s done an unedited photoshoot with Instyle, while maybe shit’s not as edited as Complex, I know she’s more doughy than this, but I guess that won’t sell her bullshit work out DVD to anyone who isn’t a black dude or white dude pretending to be hip hop who dig fat chicks….

I love the highest heels imaginable to give the optical illusion that she’s not a thick and stalky piece of shit. We’re onto you Kim Kardashian. We know you are swine flu.

Posted in:Bikini|Kim Kardashian|Untouched

2009

28

Apr

Lindsay Lohan Spends Another Day in a Bikini of the Day

8 Comments »


Lindsay Lohan is going to be in Montreal on Saturday. I just saw the facebook event. Let’s hope she walks around my shit hole of an apartment Sunday morning wearing the same thing. You know, making me and my wife breakfast. I figure the mold, the soiled mattress, my wife’s obesity, the fact we haven’t cleaned in years, the dog piss and shit smell, the rotting food, the no TV, the milkcrate furniture and everything ghetto and poor about my life, like my neighbor’s who ask me the weirdest shit like where to find Tranny’s for gangbangs, or overdosing in the hallways, or knocking on my door bitching me out asking for condoms to fuck some hooker who came empty handed will do her some good, keep her motivated and inspired to never become a real life drug addict/alcoholic and keep shit hollywood.

The truth is I have other plans on Saturday that don’t involve going to sketchy clubs, so our paths won’t be crossing, but just knowing she’s in the same city as me brings hope of a better tomorrow.

Yeah, I don’t know what I am saying, but check out these pics of her in a bikini, they are fuckin’ bangin’.

Posted in:Bikini|Lindsay Lohan

2009

27

Apr

Mel B and her Hard Bikini Body of the Day

29 Comments »

Mel B was in a bikini. She has a pretty fit body. A washboard stomach all the boys are envious of. One that if you want to cum all over after fucking her mom pussy, may determine that you may be better off in San Francisco. I know that I fucked a girl with a abnormal muscle tone. I am talking biceps, triceps, abs and pecs and she definitely had a vagina, but everytime I’d be sucking on her tits, or she was grinding her pelvic bone into mine, bruising me up pretty good, I’d look at her 6-pack and would struggle to keep my boner alive. I’d be like “bitch, he’s dying, he needs mouth to mouth” before giving her a fuckin’ t-shirt so that I can finish off, because I’ve learned that you never waste a vagina that’s willing to let you inside, even if she makes you feel gay. True story.

Posted in:Bikini|Mel B

2009

27

Apr

Audrina and her Bikini in Into the Blue 2 of the Day

5 Comments »

Wow. That’s all I have to say about Audrina trying to act. Wow…and not a good Wow…like a look at that body so I don’t have to listen and her horrible rehearsed lines that are worse that the third grade at the Christmas Pageant at the elementary school I go to every year, not because I have kids in it, or know kids in it, but because sometimes you need to divert from the stripclub for a minute and experience other stage performances, and I don’t mean that in a pedophile way, I mean in a single, lonely, desperate mothers during the holiday season being easy to fuck kind of way.

How the fuck does someone like this get work, when so many talented, better looking people are out there are struggling to make it. It just proves that life isn’t fair and fake tits, a fit body, rich parents and connections really do a lot better for you than actual skill. Ridiculous. At least it’s pretyt fucking hysterical…

Posted in:Audrina|Bikini|Into the Blue 2

2009

27

Apr

Lindsay Lohan Bikini Pictures of the Day

13 Comments »

Lindsay Lohan is in Hawaii a week after Samantha Ronson was in Hawaii. This is some Forgetting Sarah Silverman shit only without the whole exes staying at the same resort, so I guess it is nothing at all like that movie, because if this was Forgetting Sarah Silverman, the movie wouldn’t have really been much of a movie, but you get what I am saying…at least I hope you do, because I have no idea what I am saying…and it’s all because I am distracted by how good Lohan looks in her bikini.

For any of you who say this is too skinny, you are fucking insane. She’s got a hot little ass, nice tits, flat stomach, thin legs, and is good to fucking go. More girls need to get on this program because it’s what a girl is supposed to look like.

Not to mention spending the last year being a lesbian, something that I don’t really exists, has given her vagina time to bounce back to the way it was before Wilmer made her the naughty girl she has the reputation of being, not that I really know anything about her or her sex life, or about gynecology, but I do know that when girls I know stop having sex for a few months, their shit tightens up proper. True story.

On a sidenote – I dig that Lohan is reading a book on “Trust” because I guess she’s working on being more trusting. There was a time she had people I sent to see Samantha Ronson DJ out of the club because they dropped the website name and within 4 minutes they were escorted out by 4 bodyguards all while Lohan wasn’t even in Canada.

I guess when your father is a fucking cocksucker, milking you as hard as he can, cheating on the family, because he’s a fucking sociopath self-destructive piece of shit who I hate, it is not easy to really to trust anyone.

Let’s drink to self-improvement…..

Posted in:Bikini|Lindsay Lohan

2009

24

Apr

Amy Winehouse Bikini Pictures Get Me So Hot of the Day

5 Comments »

Amy Winehouse brought her vagina she’s growing on her leg out to the beach again. She’s lookin’ more and more disgusting, but that hasn’t stopped some black dude with a kid to jump on the opportunity to K-Fed this bitch while she’s getting her shit back togther, you know get her when she’s down and out and secure your place in her rotting vagina/vagina she’s growing on her leg, so that when she pulls it together, you get to live the life of a king, much better than bouncing the local tourist club or renting out snorkeling equipment at some resort.

Either way seeing Winehouse with this black baby is funny and as always seeing her in a bikini is worth jerking off to….

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Bikini