Kim Kardashian Archives - Page 37 of 40 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Kim Kardashian Category

2008

Mar

Kim Kardashian Better Be Pregnant of the Day

Kim Kardashian is one of those girls who needs to wear heels because otherwise her legs look think and stumpy like some kind of midget olympic speed skater or some shit, only she’s not nearly as athletic and her thickness comes from lazy overeating because the only weightlifting she does is carrying her fat tits and ass out to do errands and by errands I mean hosting parties at lame overpriced clubs.

There’s a rumor going around that she’s pregnant, and I think that would be a great explanation for her maternity shirt covering her fat but reality is that she’s been this big for as long as I remember her so maybe the secret to her fat tits is to get knocked up and to hold onto the baby for as long as she can, aborting it at the last possible moment and doing it all again…

I guess the good news is that she likes to go out an do errands for herself like buying light bulbs and getting pedicures but she’s a media craving whore and it’s safe to say this is all for a photo op because she’s addicted to flashing lights. I guess that’s what happens when you’re the fat, unibrow, horsehead girl no one wanted to talk to growing up and slowly found a way out of insecurity by doing porn hoping that one day everyone will love you or some shit so that she could go back to the people who teased her and say “look at me now” or some shit.

Posted in:Ass|Fat|Kim Kardashian|Pregnancy Rumor

2008

Mar

Kim Kadashian’s got a Fat Ass of the Day

19 Comments »

The Friday Guessing game of the day is what size jeans Kim Kardashian wears. I am going with a size 32, which may not sound too big if you’re a dude and buying a new pair of Dockers for the company picnic, but women are a size 27 on average, proving my point that she’s fat, by not proving anything because I have no idea what her actual size is, I am just speculating because this girl has a fat ass and needs to stop being the useless lazy whore I saw in her sex tape and start being a little more active, since obesity is the number one killer today and if the rest of her body follow her asses lead, she’s in for a mess, I’m just trying to save her. I’m a hero like that.

Just the other day I saw a girl frantically searching for a tampon because she didn’t have one and we weren’t near any stores and she had no money on her even if there were stores near by. So, I offered her my penis, mouth and fingers to help her out, sure they aren’t absorbent, but I figure if you’re going to stick anything in your vagina it might as well be me. She ended up agreeing to taking my dirty sock, because I guess she thought it was better than nothing. In the next 4-6 weeks, she’ll realize that it definitely was the wrong choice because lets face it, I am not the most hygienic and even my feet try to keep me from wearing socks with all the scabs, blisters and rashes and god only knows if any of those are contagious…..

Posted in:Ass|Fat|Kim Kardashian

2008

Mar

Kim Kardashian in Her Panties of the Day

21 Comments »

In case you didn’t know, Kim Kardashian has an official site that I won’t link here because she’s already too famous for her own good and she’s promoting it the only way she knows how, but posting slutty pictures of herself on it. She’s in panties and that’s a little bit more than what she was wearing while Ray J pissed on her face in their sex tape. As much as I hate on her for being 20 pounds overweight and a talentless whore who offers nothing to the world, you gotta give some love to a girl who lets you videotape you pissing on her. I am not entirely into treating my women like toilets, unless they deserve it, but seeing a chick with no self respect because letting that happen means she has no self respect but a need to get attention, opens up so many possibilities of the things she’d be willing to do to you if your dick was big enough to get around that ass and if your sister was her employer. She’s in these pictures with that Audrey O’Day or whatever the fuck her name is from Danity Kane if you were wondering, which you probably weren’t because you’re too busy crying.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Panties

2008

Mar

Ray J Tells Tyra About His Kim Kardashian Sex Tape of the Day

12 Comments »

Ray J says that the whole reason he did the sex tape was because he was bored, something I’d expect when you’re stuck hanging with Kim Kardashian because big tits and a big ass is gets boring once you’ve already seen them a couple dozen times and she’s got about enough substance to entertain a 3 year old for about 2 minutes before it starts begging for the Teletubbies because her tubby ass isn’t even good enough for them.

So Ray J says that he watched the video to improve his sexual performance and Tyra asks about his big dick because her pussy is fuckin’ hungry for some cock and this video is about as interesting as spending a night with Kim Kardashian. So watch it.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Ray J|Sex Tape

2008

Mar

Kim Kardashian is a Fat Chick in a Bikini…of the Day

43 Comments »

You motherfuckers are crazy. I constantly get Kim Kardashian supporters bitching me out for saying that she has a fat ass because she eats too fucking much and doesn’t exercise, and that all you fuckers are just confusing sloth lazy over-eating fat with sexy natural booty bullshit because she doesn’t have cellulite because her fat is so compacted that the skin looks smooth, when really it’s just tryin’ to hold it all in there without exploding all over the place. It is the same reason your 300 pound beer belly is harder than Reggie Bush’s 6-pack and I think it needs to stop because I think it’s giving her an ego.

Most fat chicks swim in their t-shirts, but this bitch seems to think it’s ok to wear a bikini. She also thinks it’s ok to pose for Playboy. What bitch needs to do is spend some time with her boyfriend’s personal pro-athlete trainer, not more time thinkin’ her body is good enough to flaunt, even though I’m still checkin’ it out, but I am a easy to please. If you’ve seen my wife you’d know why.

Either way, if she doesn’t put an end to this shit now, I can guarantee 5 years from now, things are going to be fuckin’ messy, and I am not just talking about her shit stained designer panties because she can’t reach around her stomach far enough to get in between her ass and wipe properly, I am talking about her whole fuckin’ body is going to be consumed in disgusting. I guess the good news for her is that she is rich enough to hire someone to wipe for her, and I would rather be doing that for work, than doing it here on my wife for free a couple of times a day.

I guess there will always be dudes who like fat chicks and fat chicks in training and here are the pictures to look back on when you see her being craned out of her house for an episode of Oprah in a few years while she’s pushing 700 lbs and some of you will still be jerkin’ off to her big ol’ ass, but that’s because you’re a sick fuck.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Fat|Kim Kardashian

2008

Mar

Kim Kardashian’s Beauty Secret of the Day

18 Comments »

So girls, the key to getting a fat set of tits and a fat ass according to Kim Kardashian is to eat as much junk food as you can while keeping physical activity to a minimum because she has enough money to hire people to do the exercising for her.

The only flaw in this system is that it only works for a handful of girls who gain weight in the right places and that it is possible to eat just a little too much of the shit that your slow metabolism just leaves you fat. A route Kardashian seems willing to take based on these pics. The good news is that no matter how fat you are, there will always be a ridiculously tall skinny white dude and a ridiculously large penised black dude willing to give you some loving.

Either way, here is Kim Kardashian and her big ol’ tits eating ice cream while lookin’ like fuckin’ shit, I guess her no matter how big her tits get, her testicles never seem to disappear.

Posted in:Fat|Huge Ass|Huge Tits|Kim Kardashian

2008

Feb

Kim Kardashian’s Tight Dress of the Day

7 Comments »

I just woke up and don’t feel like writing this site. What I do feel like doing is saving the world so I decided to report some suspect website that had naked under 18 year olds on it. I contacted my local authorities and gave me an email address to report what I found. This is what I wrote:

I just came across this family nudism website.

I know there is no harm in nudism and all that – but I fear they are attracting the wrong kind of audience – who look at this kind of thing sexually.

I bet a lot of predators are signed up to that site!!!

ps – there’s a really hot girl who is barely 18 on there.. What I wouldn’t do to be 16 again and get that drunk for her first time and show her a good time when my parents are out of town ! Let me know if you can find any information on her, I’d love to make her famous and she’s already willing to get naked so we’re halfway there. Thanks!!

Now, I will probably go to jail for trying to be funny about under 18 year olds naked. But before I do, here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian in some GoGo dancer lookin’ dress hugging her big ass like you wish you could do. In case you were wondering, Kim Kardashian is not under 18, it takes many years of eating to make an ass like that. Cuddles.

Related Posts:

Kourtney Kardashian’s Bikini in Miami
Kim Kardashian’s Armenian Ass
Kim Kardashian Wearing a Bra for Her Big Boobs
KIm Kardashian’s Got Some Crazy TIts

Posted in:Ass|Kim Kardashian|Tight Dress|Tits

2008

Feb

Kim Kardashian’s Big Tits and Ass on Valentine’s Day of the Day

4 Comments »

My wife just came out of the room wearing some kind of silk sheet as a dress and told me that she’s decided to become a plus sized model at 40 years old. I told her that plus sized models are just a lazy disgusting version of regular sized models and they only get work because America is fat as fuck and offended by regular sized models, calling them too skinny and boney and all that other hurtful shit that is a hell of a lot better than being plus sized. It still gives fat girls the opportunity to get work pretending to be normal and attractive and not lazy slob freaks of nature they are….and that said my wife’s got no chance because she can barely get out of bet let alone fit into a pair of plus sized pants for people to take pictures of.

I went on to tell her that what we don’t see after jerking off to those plus sized lingerie catalogs that I know you’re so fond of, is that it’s not all that glamorous. It’s all about a whole lot of fabric and elastic bands, reinforced runways and chairs, emergency crews at the shoots in case of heart attacks and most importantly all you can eat buffets. That’s when I lost my wife’s attention and she hit up the kitchen for her own all you can eat party involving her and her best friend Oreo.

Here’s some Kim Kardashian from last week showing off her plus sized tits and plus sized ass at some plus sized event because she’s luxurious like that.

Posted in:Big Ass|Big Tits|Kim Kardashian

2007

Nov

I am – Kim Kardashian’s Apple Bottom Like Apples of the Day

2 Comments »

I think she did this shit on purpose. What are the chances of a bitch with an apple bottom posing with fuckin’ apples? It’s like she went out with her on staff paparazzi and was like, people always freak out over my ass, how about we get a shot of me bending over with an apple in hand, it’ll be so funny and ironic and creative and reality is that it’s none of those things, it’s just lame and her ass isn’t comparable to an apple, but more to apple pie and way too much of it. Bitch needs to hit the stair master in a big way, and by big I mean, she’s fat.

I am pretty sick today, been in bed all day, so writing about Kim Kardashians fat ass is about as exciting as waking up with a snot covered face and pillow making me feel like I was just in a gay orgy or some shit.

I don’t know why she’s wearing two different outfits in these pics, I can only assume it’s because she shit herself. I guess that would also explain her shit smeared skin color….it comes with the territory when your ass is that massive. It’s like wondering why your hummer burns so much fuel, not that you have a hummer, you’re too busy being unemployed to ever really afford much more than a skateboard, even though you aren’t even cool enough to skateboard…you’re more of a rollerblader like DJ AM, only he does that shit in bicycle shorts and is so gay that he makes them shorts look straight.

Related Posts:

Kim Kardashian’s Pussy Preview
Kim Kardashian’s Tits are Insane
Kim Kardashian’s Tits Blow Out Candles

Posted in:Apple Bottom|Ass|Booty|Kim Kardashian|Unsorted

2007

Oct

I am – Kim Kardashian’s Tits at an Event of the Day

8 Comments »

So I ran into this 19 year old girl I used to finger bang and hang out with in the park because she liked my sense of humor. She’d do dances for me in a leotard and touch her toes on command every time we hung out. I hadn’t seen her in a while but she was with some dude I could tell she was banging. When I asked if she was doing him, she denied it because I guess she didn’t want me knowing how much of a dirty little girl she is because she is convinced that one day I will leave my wife and we will get married even though my dick doesn’t work. Since I am pretty good at knowing what’s up and people are all pretty much all the same I could tell that she was lying about it and that they were actually having sex just by the way they were acting together. For some reason, girls like to think they can pull a fast one and get away with being “naughty” or keeping secrets but it’s always been so fucking obvious to me. I have always been able to tell when a girl cheats on me or when a girl’s been doing dirty things she doesn’t want me to know about. It’s like a sixth sense, without Bruce Willis or that Joel Osmond freak, so I decided to write her an IM saying “i know you’re banging that dude”, not that I care, I just like knowing the truth, like I am the X-Files and her vagina is the paranormal. Either way, she finally admitted it to me and wrote this:

hes like how i am with you, only theres sexual attraction

I just wanted to post it because it really boosted my non-existant self esteem. Speaking of self esteem here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian putting the fat ASS in KardASShian at some premiere, thinking she’s got it goin’ on, because too many people tell her how hot she is, when they should really be telling her she’s just a waste of fucking tits, only she doesn’t realize it yet. The truth may hurt but at least people know where they stand or in my case sit.

Related Posts:

Kim Kardashian Blowin Dicks Not Candles Pictures
Kim Kardashian’s Big Ol’ Tits
Kim Kardashian Mom Jeans
Kim Kardashian’s Pussy Preview

Posted in:Dress|Fat|Kim Kardashian|Tits|Unsorted