Kim Kardashian Archives - Page 37 of 40 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Kim Kardashian Category

2008

Apr

Kim Kardashian Takes on the Paparazzi of the Day

These are the fuckers I am up against and I am really not all that worried about taking each and everyone of them out. I am not threatening to kill them or anything psycho, cuz the photographers are not my enemy, it’s the people who they are working for who I don’t like. I figure the best way to ruin the paparazzi agency is to start up some kind of union to protect the workers rights as paparazzi photographers. I figure they are freelance, don’t have medical insurance and work long hours for shitty pay while making the same fuckers who run after me rich by giving them the rights to sell their photos. I know you don’t give a fuck about this quest to take these fuckers down, but I do know that I messaged Kim Kardashian awhile ago to help me take out these fuckers and it looks like she’s partnered up with someone else to do it because no one likes me.

At least she’s found a use for the cheap video camera skills that got her famous in the first place. This could be a glimpse into the future of Kim Kardashian when her 5 minutes of fame have dried up and the only person left caring about her is herself. That way she can feel like people still think she’s relevant by being her own paparazzi. I don’t know if she’ll be too good at running after herself without running out of breath and passing out from her emotional eating obesity, but it would be funny to watch her try to jump over a fence to get an exclusive picture of herself in her backyard, but that’s just cuz it’s always fun watching a fat guy struggle….

On a side note, it looks like she’s got some hip hop bling around her neck, and I guess her future also involves dating and getting knocked up by rappers (not rapists) and pro athletes….she’s got a fat ass like that.

Bonus – Paris Hilton’s Apology to Kim Kardashian for Saying Kardashian’s Ass is Fat
GO

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Paparazzi

2008

Apr

Kim Kardashian Knows She’s Fat of the Day

14 Comments »

So Kim Kardashian continues to offer absolutely nothing of substance to the world as she sits around in a bathing suit taking in some sun like the useless whore that shit is. It’s like some of us slowly wait for death to save us by hiding behind our computers or going to our shitty jobs or occasionally by doing something life changing for sick kids or AIDS or some shit, and people like Kim Kardashian just live a life of vacation.

The good news is that bitch realizes that she’s a fat slob and decides to bust out the sarong or whatever the fuck those wraps chubby chicks use to cover their asses when they rock their bathing suits because they aren’t fat enough yet to justify swimming in a T-shirt. I know some of you like this whore and her ability to eat lots of food and stock that shit on her ass, so I am posting it, but I think the reality is that I just like outing “sex symbols” or at least bitches who think they are sex symbols for the sloppy bodies they are. I’ve known my fair share of fat chicks who like getting fucked on video because they have no shame and don’t want to admit they are fat and because they like the extra money it gives them to put into their eating habit and I guess Kim Kardashian is just like them.

In a few months, I predict her stomach catching up to her ass and tits and I’ll be posting pictures of her sitting on her couch eating a bag of chips watching Soap Operas or pictures of her struggling her way up a set of stairs. Obesity isn’t a disease, it’s just laziness and I hate all of you who try to argue with me that she’s not fat because I think shit’s pretty obvious or at least obvious enough to Kim Kardashian to cover her ice cream eating ass up. This is just a taste of what’s to come and Kim is probably excited about that, but then again she seems like she’s excited to taste pretty much everything that crosses paths with her and that’s the reason she’s got into this whole mess.

Posted in:Bikini|Fat|Kim Kardashian

2008

Apr

Kardashian Sisters Teach Their Young Sister About Her Period of the Day

3 Comments »

I didn’t know that the Kardashians had a younger version, but then again I don’t watch the show and have pretty much no interest in this family, but thought it was funny that Kim Kardashian wasn’t teaching her sister about shoving things in her vagina or bleeding from her uterus because you’d think it was something she was good at, but instead she just sat there under her blanket like the diva cunt that she is. So if puberty is your fetish, this videos for you. I am just waking up and late as per usual, something Kim Kardashian is also probably used to and probably another reason why she doesn’t want to teach her sister about her body.

Bonus: Here are the Kardashian Sisters on Chelsea Lately Because I’ve Seen Her Show and She’s Kinda Funny even though I am too sad to laugh and expect to be on her show one day because she’s pretty low budget.

Part 2:

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Period|puberty

2008

Mar

Kim Kardashian’s Got No Make-Up On But She’s Got an Eyebrow of the Day

8 Comments »

These pictures were listed as being Kim Kardashian with no make-up on, something I am pretty convinced doesn’t exist because she’s more into make-up than a drag queen trying to trick me into letting him suck my dick because he’s a girl and it gets me every time because I always fall for it….

Either way, I can’t tell what her deal is because I am too busy worrying about that eyebrow she’s got living on her forehead and I have a feeling that it is slowly trying to take over her face. Maybe it’s her dad’s reincarnated some new growth on her unibrow and he’s trying to make her look vile because he’s tired of her draggin’ his name through the mud by having nature channel sex on video but I guess that theory is pretty unlikely and it’s just her Armenian genetics, something a lot less exciting that my original theory.

Posted in:Eyebrow|Kim Kardashian|No Make Up

2008

Mar

Kim Kardashian Better Be Pregnant of the Day

12 Comments »

Kim Kardashian is one of those girls who needs to wear heels because otherwise her legs look think and stumpy like some kind of midget olympic speed skater or some shit, only she’s not nearly as athletic and her thickness comes from lazy overeating because the only weightlifting she does is carrying her fat tits and ass out to do errands and by errands I mean hosting parties at lame overpriced clubs.

There’s a rumor going around that she’s pregnant, and I think that would be a great explanation for her maternity shirt covering her fat but reality is that she’s been this big for as long as I remember her so maybe the secret to her fat tits is to get knocked up and to hold onto the baby for as long as she can, aborting it at the last possible moment and doing it all again…

I guess the good news is that she likes to go out an do errands for herself like buying light bulbs and getting pedicures but she’s a media craving whore and it’s safe to say this is all for a photo op because she’s addicted to flashing lights. I guess that’s what happens when you’re the fat, unibrow, horsehead girl no one wanted to talk to growing up and slowly found a way out of insecurity by doing porn hoping that one day everyone will love you or some shit so that she could go back to the people who teased her and say “look at me now” or some shit.

Posted in:Ass|Fat|Kim Kardashian|Pregnancy Rumor

2008

Mar

Kim Kadashian’s got a Fat Ass of the Day

19 Comments »

The Friday Guessing game of the day is what size jeans Kim Kardashian wears. I am going with a size 32, which may not sound too big if you’re a dude and buying a new pair of Dockers for the company picnic, but women are a size 27 on average, proving my point that she’s fat, by not proving anything because I have no idea what her actual size is, I am just speculating because this girl has a fat ass and needs to stop being the useless lazy whore I saw in her sex tape and start being a little more active, since obesity is the number one killer today and if the rest of her body follow her asses lead, she’s in for a mess, I’m just trying to save her. I’m a hero like that.

Just the other day I saw a girl frantically searching for a tampon because she didn’t have one and we weren’t near any stores and she had no money on her even if there were stores near by. So, I offered her my penis, mouth and fingers to help her out, sure they aren’t absorbent, but I figure if you’re going to stick anything in your vagina it might as well be me. She ended up agreeing to taking my dirty sock, because I guess she thought it was better than nothing. In the next 4-6 weeks, she’ll realize that it definitely was the wrong choice because lets face it, I am not the most hygienic and even my feet try to keep me from wearing socks with all the scabs, blisters and rashes and god only knows if any of those are contagious…..

Posted in:Ass|Fat|Kim Kardashian

2008

Mar

Kim Kardashian in Her Panties of the Day

21 Comments »

In case you didn’t know, Kim Kardashian has an official site that I won’t link here because she’s already too famous for her own good and she’s promoting it the only way she knows how, but posting slutty pictures of herself on it. She’s in panties and that’s a little bit more than what she was wearing while Ray J pissed on her face in their sex tape. As much as I hate on her for being 20 pounds overweight and a talentless whore who offers nothing to the world, you gotta give some love to a girl who lets you videotape you pissing on her. I am not entirely into treating my women like toilets, unless they deserve it, but seeing a chick with no self respect because letting that happen means she has no self respect but a need to get attention, opens up so many possibilities of the things she’d be willing to do to you if your dick was big enough to get around that ass and if your sister was her employer. She’s in these pictures with that Audrey O’Day or whatever the fuck her name is from Danity Kane if you were wondering, which you probably weren’t because you’re too busy crying.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Panties

2008

Mar

Ray J Tells Tyra About His Kim Kardashian Sex Tape of the Day

12 Comments »

Ray J says that the whole reason he did the sex tape was because he was bored, something I’d expect when you’re stuck hanging with Kim Kardashian because big tits and a big ass is gets boring once you’ve already seen them a couple dozen times and she’s got about enough substance to entertain a 3 year old for about 2 minutes before it starts begging for the Teletubbies because her tubby ass isn’t even good enough for them.

So Ray J says that he watched the video to improve his sexual performance and Tyra asks about his big dick because her pussy is fuckin’ hungry for some cock and this video is about as interesting as spending a night with Kim Kardashian. So watch it.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Ray J|Sex Tape

2008

Mar

Kim Kardashian is a Fat Chick in a Bikini…of the Day

43 Comments »

You motherfuckers are crazy. I constantly get Kim Kardashian supporters bitching me out for saying that she has a fat ass because she eats too fucking much and doesn’t exercise, and that all you fuckers are just confusing sloth lazy over-eating fat with sexy natural booty bullshit because she doesn’t have cellulite because her fat is so compacted that the skin looks smooth, when really it’s just tryin’ to hold it all in there without exploding all over the place. It is the same reason your 300 pound beer belly is harder than Reggie Bush’s 6-pack and I think it needs to stop because I think it’s giving her an ego.

Most fat chicks swim in their t-shirts, but this bitch seems to think it’s ok to wear a bikini. She also thinks it’s ok to pose for Playboy. What bitch needs to do is spend some time with her boyfriend’s personal pro-athlete trainer, not more time thinkin’ her body is good enough to flaunt, even though I’m still checkin’ it out, but I am a easy to please. If you’ve seen my wife you’d know why.

Either way, if she doesn’t put an end to this shit now, I can guarantee 5 years from now, things are going to be fuckin’ messy, and I am not just talking about her shit stained designer panties because she can’t reach around her stomach far enough to get in between her ass and wipe properly, I am talking about her whole fuckin’ body is going to be consumed in disgusting. I guess the good news for her is that she is rich enough to hire someone to wipe for her, and I would rather be doing that for work, than doing it here on my wife for free a couple of times a day.

I guess there will always be dudes who like fat chicks and fat chicks in training and here are the pictures to look back on when you see her being craned out of her house for an episode of Oprah in a few years while she’s pushing 700 lbs and some of you will still be jerkin’ off to her big ol’ ass, but that’s because you’re a sick fuck.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Fat|Kim Kardashian

2008

Mar

Kim Kardashian’s Beauty Secret of the Day

18 Comments »

So girls, the key to getting a fat set of tits and a fat ass according to Kim Kardashian is to eat as much junk food as you can while keeping physical activity to a minimum because she has enough money to hire people to do the exercising for her.

The only flaw in this system is that it only works for a handful of girls who gain weight in the right places and that it is possible to eat just a little too much of the shit that your slow metabolism just leaves you fat. A route Kardashian seems willing to take based on these pics. The good news is that no matter how fat you are, there will always be a ridiculously tall skinny white dude and a ridiculously large penised black dude willing to give you some loving.

Either way, here is Kim Kardashian and her big ol’ tits eating ice cream while lookin’ like fuckin’ shit, I guess her no matter how big her tits get, her testicles never seem to disappear.

Posted in:Fat|Huge Ass|Huge Tits|Kim Kardashian