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Archive for the Lindsay Lohan Category

2009

16

Sep

Lindsay Lohan Lookin’ Tired of the Day

1 Comment »

Lindsay Lohan has really lost her celebrity Flare. Here she is at Fashion Week hanging out with celebrity photographer Terry Richardson,holding on as hard as she can, and she definitely doesn’t look fresh faced and 23.

I know that when it comes to Lohan, it’s all been said before and I’m really not posting this to laugh at her or make jokes about her, I am not even doing it to point out the obvious, I just don’t really understand why she looks so fucking old, I’m talking like a haggard, drug addict who has fucked a solid 20 people more than what’s considerd normal in a given day in efforts to pay for more drugs that I know, when she’s got all the money she needs to live for the rest of her life.

I guess it all stems from the hard life she lived in the public eye, where she had no childhood, where she got paid millions for a month of work, where her mother fed her cocaine while trying to hold onto her youth after exploiting her daughter’s youth and we just don’t understand this poor little rich girl complex, cuz we all wish we were poor little rich girls. So like Michael Jackson she medicates, and like an asshole, I wait for her to hit rock bottom, where I come in as her new “manager” where I exploit her as much as I can to make a little more money than I do stealing 5 dollar bills out of my wife’s purse. But that won’t happen, she’ll be dead long before that, but we’re all allowed to dream…

Pics Via Cobrasnake

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Tired

2009

10

Sep

Lindsay Lohan’s Voicemail Hacked a Year After the Fact of the Day

2 Comments »

There was a time when I first started this site and thought it’d be fun to fuck with celebrities all the way from Canada without leaving the comfort of my disgusting smelling home that is hardly a home and more of a fuckin’ dump that homeless people wouldn’t sleep in. It was a time when they weren’t openly using the computer or really responsive to people they didn’t know, unlike today thanks to twitter and facebook….

I got bored and lazy. I loved stunts but I stopped trying to find celebrity emails and phone numbers to prank them cuz even when I did make progress I never got a big hit from it cuz no one really cared or believed me when I got through to a motherfucker. So it proved to be a waste of fucking time, like everything else I do, only it required more effort than everything else I do.

But some motherfucker didn’t…he went to the trouble of finding an old released screenshot of Lohan’s personal information, and hacked into her fuckin’ voicemail, her password was 1-2-3-4. He recorded the shit and put it on the internet and now I’m posting it here, because part of me respects his effort, the other part of me doesn’t care, but maybe you do….

Really, all this is going to do is make Lohan change her number, breaking our only link, breaking up our one-sided relationship, but it’s still a pretty big story, so I gotta post it….


The Crazy Motherfucker Who Broke This Story is AnimalNewYork – See what he’s saying about it
GO

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Voicemail

2009

09

Sep

Lindsay Lohan’s Lookin’ Hot When Shopping of the Day

2 Comments »

Lindsay Lohan is in New York, probably for fashion week, you know, to feed her fashion addcition, and chronic spending habits, that I don’t really know why I know about, but know that being the first up on the newest designs or some shit is probably a big deal to her.

Sure, I don’t fully understand because if I had my choice I wouldn’t wear clothes out of the house, unfortunately everytime I try that, I get stopped before leaving my building by either a neighbor or janitor or whoever the fuck is hanging around cuz we are a compound of degenerate, jobless bums…..so the whole concept of spending money on clothes is insane to me to begin with and even when I was working a couple decades ago, before the whole alcoholism really took a hold of my life and dictated my future, I never fell for that levis crap back when they were only 50 dollars, so I don’t really grasp how anyone fall for the new scam and spend 1000 dollars on a pair of jeans, even if you’re a bored ex-starlet who gets a nice risidual check on DVD sales from the last movie she did 10 years ago and can afford it. Those gays over in Paris and their Jewish financiers are screwing you woman….and based on these pictures, I wouldn’t fuckin’ mind if I was…you know walk up all secretly from behind and slip it in, trust me you won’t feel a thing, and I probably won’t either, but at least it’ll be a story I can put on my tombstone.

Jesus “Bonertown” Martiez
1970 – 2080
“Here lies a soul officially died in 2000 when he got married to his fat wife, but was revived for a few hours after he surprise-sexed Lindsay Lohan in 2009, She didn’t know it happened, thanks to his small dick/her big vagina but he did and That’s All That Matters”

Enough of that stupidity, here are those hot pics of her…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Breasts|Legs|Lindsay Lohan

2009

08

Sep

Lindsay Lohan’s Fat Lips of the Day

6 Comments »

I like Lindsay Lohan….I really do and I don’t think I’ve ever done anything on the site to prove otherwise. I think that over the last 5 years of doing this, she’s looked pretty hot at least once, she’s brought me some entertainment at least once, she’s “accidentally” flashed her vagina at least once, she’s flashed tit at least once, she’s marketed herself as a sex addict which is something I admire and then she did the whole lesbian thing and over the course of that time, I managed to become best buddies with her, at least best buddies according to me, she doesn’t know I exist….

So when I say that she’s gone really fucking overboard with her lips, I mean it in the nicest way, as a friend would tell another friend that they got a bad haircut, because although fat lips create blowjob fantasies, even when lesbians have them, way too fat lips just bring up spousal abuse fantasies and as much as I love punching my wife in the face, it’s not something I really ever get away with.
Seriously, I’ve read that Lohans’ been having relationship issues with Ronson, not that I ever believed they were actually a couple, but asking the plastic surgeon to do build a swollen pussy on her mouth is no way to lure new pussy, but it is a good way to get the job you always wanted as the clown at the circus.

The good news is that these lip injections are offered at the local spa, and shit will eventually go back to normal, but there’s gotta be some serious self-esteem issues to make a girl do this in the first place, a real fuckin’ issues if they think it’s hot. I guess there’s just a whole lot of pressure on today’s generation, when all they really need to learn is that as long as they put out and aren’t fat, they’re good to go.

Pictures via INFphoto

Posted in:Fat Lips|Lindsay Lohan

2009

28

Aug

Lindsay Lohan Makes Me Horny of the Day

13 Comments »

I don’t know what’s up with Lohan, but she looks angry. Maybe Samantha Ronson’s sticking her dick in some other famous pussy now that she’s gone as far as she can go by riding Lohan’s name and becoming relevant, at least more relevant that her acoustic stage show she was hustlin’ before, or maybe it’s got nothing to do with Samantha Ronson and she’s just having a bad day, and really why do I fucking write about it like I care, when I totally don’t. If anything, I just like how Lohan constantly changes her look to give me different characters to include in my masturbation fantasies, whether it be ex stripper, or strung out stripper, or teen popstar, or whatever, her outfit changes do serve a purpose for me and that purpose is cumming.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Messy

2009

26

Aug

Lindsay Lohan’s Legs After She Got Robbed of the Day

4 Comments »

Lohan was robbed for the third time this past weekend, you’d think that it’d make sense if after the first time she either hired a security company to park outside her house at 10 dollars an hour, or even get a motherfucker to stand next to the door for the same fucking price. Maybe she could even get an alarm system or pretty much anything because getting robbed 3 times in a year is a little fucking excessive and I guess it’s made her paranoid cuz here she is sneakin around, hoping no one sees her….or maybe that’s caused by the prescription drugs…either way I think she looks amazing….

Posted in:Legs|Lindsay Lohan|Robbed

2009

20

Aug

Lindsay Lohan Takes Her New Face Shopping of the Day

6 Comments »

This is like a scene out of that movie Pretty Woman, not becauase Lohan’s lookin’ pretty, but because she’s lookin like a streetwalker who has landed a John dumb enough to give her his credit card to hit up the highend boutiques and buy herself something that makes her look presentable for all his upper class lawyer friends. Not only am I surprised that she still has money to buy all the expensive clothes she buys, but I’m also surprised at why her face looks like a Halloween mask and it’s only August, not to mention the boutique was nice enough to let her bring her Monkey inside to shop with her, which is a lot better than the store owners around me who yell at me when I bring my dog in, I guess because I’m not Lindsay Lohan and I didn’t star in a couple movies 5 years ago. Just another example of how life is unfair…..

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Shopping

2009

18

Aug

Lindsay Lohan Takes Her Pet Monkey on a Walk of the Day

4 Comments »

Lindsay Lohan is such a show off. I know there have been rumors of her going broke and not being relelvant or getting work, but if she was so fuckin’ broke, how the fuck could she afford a pet monkey. That’s on some exotic, eccentric pet collector shit that is really only for rich crazy people like Michael Jackson and here she is showin’ it off, just to remind us that she’s better than us. I wonder if she changes its diapers or if she has hired help to do that for her. I guess I will never know.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Monkey

2009

31

Jul

Lindsay Lohan’s NEW Look for her NEW Job of the Day

13 Comments »

Lohan’s been reported to be desperate for money and here she is with some new look, with new blonde hair and new lips that she claims is for a new part, which is technically the truth, but it’s not gonna be a movie for Disney, shit’s gonna be a fuckin’ porn, at least that’s what I assume because the porn companies are offereing her huge money and everyone knows that girls who jack up their lips and bleach out their hair are into suckin’ dick on camera, or stripping, or just attracting male attention cuz their dad’s were too busy spending late nights at the office…..

Either way, I’m excited for this move and I think it was a great decision on her part. The work is gonna be constant and well paying, the fans are gonna be excited to see her back on screen only doing what she does best and most importanlty she’s really gonna love giving her vagina an opportunity to make up for lost time, you know, this whole lesbian phase left the fucker feelin’ left the fuck out..

Here’s her new porn look for you to get ready to the face you’re soon gonna be masturbating to….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Porn

2009

30

Jul

Lindsay Lohan’s My Kind of Girl of the Day

2 Comments »

Girls who go out of the house lookin’ like shit, with their hair all crazy and covering their face are girls who don’t mind getting dirty in the bedroom and I’m not talking about STD dirty or smelly pussy dirty, although that is likely, I am talking about the kind of girl who lets you fuck her ass while she’s on her period then begs you to shove your shit covered dick down her throat while she fingers her period pussy and smears the shit all over your wall, only to take a load on her face and not bother showering before leaving…I mean that’s what I imagine she’s like when she’s not all caught up in this lesbian pussy grinding bullshit….and imagining is enough for me because I am kinda scared of the real thing.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Messy