Lindsay Lohan Archives - Page 43 of 51 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

20

Nov

I am – Lindsay Lohan’s Not Drinking Designer Water of the Day

I blame celebrities for making a lot of stupid shit popular. One of those things is expensive bottled water that assholes feel the need to drink in public to look like they are ballin’. I remember last summer seeing Fiji water in every asshole kid’s hand at 4 dollars a bottle, then Fiji became too normal for showboating assholes that they went with Voss at 10 dollars a bottle or something insane like that.

Now I realize that rich kids are assholes who get free money to do what they want with and I realize that poor people that are trying to maintain some kind of rich image because they think that shit gets them respect are assholes too, but I also realize that drinking bottled water is for fucking homo’s, If you’re dehydrated from a night of drinking, there’s nothing wrong with hitting up the water fountain at the local bus stop, you can probably land some teenage runaway pussy there, who is impressed if you buy her a fuckin’ chocolate bar because she hasn’t eaten in a week, but when you’re dropping more money on water than something with booze in it, you’re clearly a fuckin asshole too because bottled water will not get you pussy.

Here are pictures of Lohan drinking some Whole Foods house brand water, and despite Whole Foods sounding like some pretentious hippie lesbian organic shit, I can only assume this water isn’t anything designer and is the equivalent of wearing a pair of sneakers that you got a Wal Mart because you suck at life.

Related Posts:

Lohan Hanging With Her Lesbian Cock
Lohan’s Nipple
Lohan’s Always Hot
Lohan’s Hot Tit From The Side

Posted in:Hot|Lindsay Lohan|Tits|Unsorted|Water

2007

13

Nov

I am – Lohan is Hanging With Her Lesbian Cock Ronson of the Day

1 Comment »

So it seems like Lohan’s fallen off the wagon or is at least about to fall off the wagon and that gets me excited because she’s going to be more accessible. I don’t actually think she’s ever been on a wagon, but that’s only because her parents turned her into a money making machine when she was a kid and when you’re a money making machine, there’s not time to play and also because I am sure the rehab center she was at were letting her do whatever fucking drugs she wanted because she was a great marketing tool for them.

That said, she’s back with the Lesbian Cock Ronson and where there’s lesbian cock there’s cocaine, especially when that lesbian cock is a bad DJ, because she needs that shit to get the confidence to go on stage and make a fool of herself without realizing it. Powdered Courage baby…you should try it.

Bonus: Steve Aoki – Lohan’s Homey is in some videogame and it made me laugh

Related Posts:

Lohan Lookin’ Wrecked
Lohan is Partying Drunk
Lohan Lookin’ Wrecked
Lohan Doing Cocaine Screen Shots
Lohan is a Drunken Party Slut

Posted in:Lesbian Cock|Lindsay Lohan|Samantha Ronson|Unsorted

2007

12

Nov

I am – Lohan’s Shitty Upskirt Pictures of the Day

1 Comment »

I was hanging with some Native American girls this past weekend as I sometimes do, because I like to keep things multicultural and I don’t remember the night at all, but I do remember one of them hated me more than I hate myself and I like when that happens, because it reaffirms that I am right in thinking what I think about myself…it’s like getting an “A” on a test.

When I found out that she wasn’t as native as her friend and was what they call non-status and pay taxes, I decided that would be a good theme for the night. So instead of learning her name or asking her to Huff Gas with me, I decided to name her non-status and try to encourage her to fuck every white guy in the place, because they’ve already fucked her. Everytime she bought a drink, I’d be like “sweet deal, you didn’t have to pay taxes on that shit, maybe I should get you to buy my drinks for me” then I’d correct myself saying “oh shit, that’s right you’re non status”.

I realize that this story is way less funny than the actually experience, I guess you’d have to have been there to get it, but I am too lazy to edit myself and I like to document how I piss off new minorities and this weekend was dedicated to the non status people….

Either way, here are pictures of Lohan having a shitty upskirt, that isn’t an upskirt and is really just a pair of shorts. She may have gone to rehab, but didn’t go to finishing school, so I am pretty sure that her freckled vagina isn’t done being willing to get raped and pillaged like a Native Village, but the status she’ll land is some STD shit, that I am willing to bury my face into, because she’s worth the pain.

Related Posts:

Lohan’s Vagina Pictures
Lohan’s Nipple in a See Through Shirt
Lohan is Hot From Every Angle
Lohan’s Hot Tits

Posted in:Hot|Lindsay Lohan|Uncategorized|Unsorted|Upskirt

2007

09

Nov

I am – Lindsay Lohan’s Nipple of the Day

6 Comments »

I got these pics off some virgin’s site who thinks there’s nipple in them, but I don’t see nipple, maybe you have to have some virgin super desperation “computer eye” to see her nipple, kinda like a homeless man who thinks he finds a thanksgiving feasts in the dumpster when shit’s just garbage or a how a drunk horny motherfucker thinks the bitch he’s talking to is worth fucking when she’s really got testicles or maybe how everyone on welfare goes to the casino on welfare check day in hopes of winning big but instead end up broker than when they walked in ….if you know what I mean, which you probably don’t because you’re already jerking off to these because you think you see nipple.

In reality, I am more concerned with her legs being wrapped in Christmas Wrapping paper, shit makes me want to unwrap her with my penis but that’s just an old Martinez family tradition….At least I know I’d be getting her herpes, because I hear it’s the gift that keeps on giving, which is a lot better than the can of creamed corn my wife got me last year, when I clearly asked her for a divorce and a couple younger hotter girls to replace her.

But that’s not the point, I am fucking hungover, I think I drank enough to kill a cow, too bad I didn’t bring my out wife with me….get it…cuz she’s fat…and I hate her, yeah this is what happens when I’m licking my vodka smelling sweat in hopes of making this alcohol withdrawal less shaky.

Related Posts:

Lohan’s Got Hot Tits
Lohan Touching Her Toes
Lohan Parties Like a Lesbian in Japan
Lohan’s Tit in a Bra

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Nipples|Unsorted

2007

30

Oct

I am – Lohan Lookin' Hot of the Day

3 Comments »

Lohan is my dream celebrity and I think she still looks hot when the paparazzi take shitty pictures from shitty angles that make her look like a big headed/small footed freakshow dressed like a bee in stupid pants getting ready to perform at the local carnival, but this isn’t the circus, she’s actually preparing for some weird Tango Dance movie she’s in that will definitely be Academy Award nominated, and by Academy Award I mean straight to fucking video. That was a pretty long sentence.

The thing I love about dirty girls is the risk taking involved in having sex with them. When you have sex with a standard chick, all you have to worry about is knocking her up, and that fear only lasts a couple of days around when her period is supposed to hit and if it doesn’t hit, you just abort mission. With a dirty girl, you got all kinds of other concerns that may take 6 months to discover, like you’re some kind of Indiana Jones motherfucker and your penis is the cup Jesus drank from….not this Jesus, that’s not how I’m living, but it seems every dude under the age of 20 is bi and fucking other dudes and then fucking girls at teenage sex parties and since girls have a vagina but are not smart enough to use them properly, no one uses condoms. Now STDs are the new Black (plague) and all these little sluts are going to be rockin’ herpes/HIV/HPV in the next 10 years, so I figure we should all just jump on that train and be the trendsetters because every loves the people who start a movement and take it to the mainstream. We’ll be heroes in our own right and they will make Stamps and trading cards with our pictures on them. Maybe we’ll even get invited to be on Kimmel.

Lohan is already up on this and is an inspiration to us all, so I figure it’s my duty to go to the source of all that fun. When I do, I can see past her flaws, like her belly while she’s sitting in the car, just as easily as I can see past her 21 year old haggard face from all the hard living, because that shit it all part of what we’re all trying to work towards.

Related Posts:

Lohan’s Hot Tit
Lohan Touching Her Toes
Lohan’s Bikini Ass

Posted in:Hot|Lindsay Lohan|Tights|Tits|Unsorted

2007

30

Oct

I am – Lohan Lookin’ Hot of the Day

3 Comments »

Lohan is my dream celebrity and I think she still looks hot when the paparazzi take shitty pictures from shitty angles that make her look like a big headed/small footed freakshow dressed like a bee in stupid pants getting ready to perform at the local carnival, but this isn’t the circus, she’s actually preparing for some weird Tango Dance movie she’s in that will definitely be Academy Award nominated, and by Academy Award I mean straight to fucking video. That was a pretty long sentence.

The thing I love about dirty girls is the risk taking involved in having sex with them. When you have sex with a standard chick, all you have to worry about is knocking her up, and that fear only lasts a couple of days around when her period is supposed to hit and if it doesn’t hit, you just abort mission. With a dirty girl, you got all kinds of other concerns that may take 6 months to discover, like you’re some kind of Indiana Jones motherfucker and your penis is the cup Jesus drank from….not this Jesus, that’s not how I’m living, but it seems every dude under the age of 20 is bi and fucking other dudes and then fucking girls at teenage sex parties and since girls have a vagina but are not smart enough to use them properly, no one uses condoms. Now STDs are the new Black (plague) and all these little sluts are going to be rockin’ herpes/HIV/HPV in the next 10 years, so I figure we should all just jump on that train and be the trendsetters because every loves the people who start a movement and take it to the mainstream. We’ll be heroes in our own right and they will make Stamps and trading cards with our pictures on them. Maybe we’ll even get invited to be on Kimmel.

Lohan is already up on this and is an inspiration to us all, so I figure it’s my duty to go to the source of all that fun. When I do, I can see past her flaws, like her belly while she’s sitting in the car, just as easily as I can see past her 21 year old haggard face from all the hard living, because that shit it all part of what we’re all trying to work towards.

Related Posts:

Lohan’s Hot Tit
Lohan Touching Her Toes
Lohan’s Bikini Ass

Posted in:Hot|Lindsay Lohan|Tights|Tits|Unsorted

2007

27

Oct

I am – Blocked in Germany While Lohan Leaves Dance Studios of the Day

9 Comments »

So it looks like the Germans are like Paypal and don’t like me very much.

it seems like the ISP AliceDSL (www.alice-dsl.de) blocked access to www.drunkenstepfather.com

Since a week a two, I am not able to access one of my favorite websites and it’s only your website. I can perfectly access it through anonymizers such as Tor or by using other ISPs but this certain ISP blocks access to Drunkenstepfather.com.

Maybe you want to investigate further or make it public somehow…

I thought German’s were into shitting on each other and beating each other up. I didn’t realize that they were still Nazis, only instead of hating the non-aryans and fags, they hate me. Here are some pictures of Lohan leaving some dance studio prepping for some tango movie, because she probably hates me too, even though I plan on knocking her off the wagon with my dick. It may be small, limp and useless but that just means it’ll take more effort.

Related Posts:

Lohan’s Hot Tits
Lohan’s Hot Tits Again
Lohan Brings the Sunshine into My Day
Lindsay Lohan Touching Her Toes

2007

19

Oct

I am – Lindsay Lohan's Hot Tit of the Day

No Comments »

I love Lohan and I love her tits. I am not sure why, because I don’t find her that hot, but for some reason I decided to stalk her years ago and since then have wanted to K-Fed her. It probably won’t ever happen, because I am lazy and she’s pretty much untouchable but it’s a good idea in theory.

The good news is that she has no standards either and is dating some fat snowboarding cunt that no one’s ever heard of who was left his fiance to starfuck Lohan, without realizing that Lohan will be onto the next dick as soon as it falls inside her unprotected. Leaving him alone, heart broken and HIV Positive.

I found his fiance that he left for Lohan and tried to convince her to work with me on destroying this couple, because I have personal interest in seeing this never amount to anything. This is what I wrote her:

i run drunkenstepfather.com. I’ve been stalking lohan for years and I am capable of ruining lives through my site. We could do some SERIOUS damage if you’re up for it…it will be funny.

Let me know because I would totally marry you or be your rebound if it mean good publicity and let’s face it, it’s not like you’re getting married to anyone else anytime soon. Think about it.

With Love

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

She never answered back.

Check Out The Fiance’s Myspace

Related Posts:

Lohan’s Hot Tits in a Blue Dress Pictures
Lohan’s Hard Nipples in a T-Shirt in Rehab
Lohan Pickin Her Wedgie and Showing Off Her Tits in a Bikini
Lohan Tits in a White Bikini

Posted in:Boob|cleavage|Lindsay Lohan|Tit|Unsorted

2007

19

Oct

I am – Lindsay Lohan’s Hot Tit of the Day

1 Comment »

I love Lohan and I love her tits. I am not sure why, because I don’t find her that hot, but for some reason I decided to stalk her years ago and since then have wanted to K-Fed her. It probably won’t ever happen, because I am lazy and she’s pretty much untouchable but it’s a good idea in theory.

The good news is that she has no standards either and is dating some fat snowboarding cunt that no one’s ever heard of who was left his fiance to starfuck Lohan, without realizing that Lohan will be onto the next dick as soon as it falls inside her unprotected. Leaving him alone, heart broken and HIV Positive.

I found his fiance that he left for Lohan and tried to convince her to work with me on destroying this couple, because I have personal interest in seeing this never amount to anything. This is what I wrote her:

i run drunkenstepfather.com. I’ve been stalking lohan for years and I am capable of ruining lives through my site. We could do some SERIOUS damage if you’re up for it…it will be funny.

Let me know because I would totally marry you or be your rebound if it mean good publicity and let’s face it, it’s not like you’re getting married to anyone else anytime soon. Think about it.

With Love

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

She never answered back.

Check Out The Fiance’s Myspace

Related Posts:

Lohan’s Hot Tits in a Blue Dress Pictures
Lohan’s Hard Nipples in a T-Shirt in Rehab
Lohan Pickin Her Wedgie and Showing Off Her Tits in a Bikini
Lohan Tits in a White Bikini

Posted in:Boob|cleavage|Lindsay Lohan|Tit|Unsorted

2007

12

Oct

I am – Lindsay Lohan's Hot Tits of the Day

1 Comment »

I think Lohan is the hottest thing out there. I don’t really know why, because she’s really not all that hot, but there’s just something about her that makes me feel like a natural woman and by natural woman I mean pervert who wants to see her naked.

I was talking to some girl last night who was wasted and she asked me if I liked to fuck donkeys because I was fat and Mexican looking, I responded by saying that I don’t fuck donkeys but I wouldn’t mind fucking her because her cunt probably smells like a barn, but in reality I am a married man and would much rather make out so I could taste the cum from the last 5 dudes she’s fucked that day on her mouth, not cuz I am into other dude’s cum, I am not gay like that, but I am all about sluts.

Here are some pictures of Lohan’s Big Fucking Tits in Utah where she’s moving for some snowboarding dude she met in rehab, but I am sure it’s just a phase and she’ll relapse soon enough, let’s just hope that relapse happens on my dick.

Related Posts:

Lohan Brings in the Sunshine
Lohan Gets a Pedicure
Lohan Touching Her Toes
Lohan Pickin’ Her Wedgie

Archive for the Lindsay Lohan Category