cleavage Archives - Page 24 of 28 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

12

Sep

I am – Melanie Brown's Tits are Dancing With the Stars of the Day

Her name is Melanie Brown but she also goes by Scary Spice, Mel B and Melanie B, but I guess it doesn’t matter what she goes by when she’s rocking tits like this. I know she just had Eddie Murphey’s baby which is weird because I thought he banged trannies and trannies don’t have lady parts and can’t get pregnant but either way, she’s is all full of milk and cool enough to show them tits off. The group of mom’s that meet up at my local coffee shop dress like fucking homeless people in over-sized jogging outfits like they have given up on life. These bitches are tired, bored and probably hate each other, but only hang out because all their single friends are out having fun, or working. The closest thing to sexy that they do is lick the icing off the cake seductively reminding us all how they got pregnant and of what they are going to look like in 5 years.

Either way, bitch is prepping for Dancing with the Stars because she’s obviously starved for attention and trying to hold onto that little bit of fame she has and she’s doing it with her tits out because tits are one of the best ways to get attention.

Point of this post is to say that it’s nice to see the progress black women have made in society that to see a set of their tits we don’t have to hit up national geographic.

Bonus – Mel B’s Tits Leaving the Dance Studio

Related Posts:

Scary Spice Upskirt Picture
Mel B Bikini Pictures
Melanie Brown’s See Through Shirt
Spice Girl Reunion Pictures

2007

12

Sep

I am – Elisha Cuthbert’s Sweater Tits of the Day

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I am an Elisha Cuthbert hater and I don’t know why. I just can’t stomach the bitch and whenever I see her in pictures I like to rip into her because it makes me feel better about myself and my hatred for her. She’s useless and since her last/only role she’s let herself go. But I am guessing she’s back in the workforce because these pictures of her out and about make her look pretty fucking good, so I am posting them as a way to retract my hatred for her and channel that shit into love because according the the shitty music my wife listens to, Love can Move Mountains.

You know what else can move mountains….money. I was at the bank machine trying to figure out my wife’s pin number because a man’s gotta eat/drink/see strippers and the motherfucker in front of me left his transaction receipt in the machine and as he walked away gave me an “I’m so much better than you” smirk. When I go to the machine, I pulled out his transaction slip and motherfucker had 72,000 dollars in his bank account. He passive aggressively told me that I am a fucking poor, hurtbag loser and that he’s so much better than me without saying a fucking word. To make the whole night even better, I couldn’t hack into my wife’s account and they cancelled her card I am not eating/drinking or seeing strippers. Thanks asshole.

Here are those Cuthbert looking hot again pictures….

The Sweater Tits:

Bonus – Some White Dress Action

Related Posts:

Elisha Cuthbert Bikini Pictures
Elisha Cuthbert Fat and Pale Leaving the Tanning Salon Pictures
Elisha Cuthbert is a Fat Smoker Pictures

Posted in:cleavage|Elisha Cuthbert|Hot|Tits|Unsorted

2007

12

Sep

I am – Elisha Cuthbert's Sweater Tits of the Day

No Comments »

I am an Elisha Cuthbert hater and I don’t know why. I just can’t stomach the bitch and whenever I see her in pictures I like to rip into her because it makes me feel better about myself and my hatred for her. She’s useless and since her last/only role she’s let herself go. But I am guessing she’s back in the workforce because these pictures of her out and about make her look pretty fucking good, so I am posting them as a way to retract my hatred for her and channel that shit into love because according the the shitty music my wife listens to, Love can Move Mountains.

You know what else can move mountains….money. I was at the bank machine trying to figure out my wife’s pin number because a man’s gotta eat/drink/see strippers and the motherfucker in front of me left his transaction receipt in the machine and as he walked away gave me an “I’m so much better than you” smirk. When I go to the machine, I pulled out his transaction slip and motherfucker had 72,000 dollars in his bank account. He passive aggressively told me that I am a fucking poor, hurtbag loser and that he’s so much better than me without saying a fucking word. To make the whole night even better, I couldn’t hack into my wife’s account and they cancelled her card I am not eating/drinking or seeing strippers. Thanks asshole.

Here are those Cuthbert looking hot again pictures….

The Sweater Tits:

Bonus – Some White Dress Action

Related Posts:

Elisha Cuthbert Bikini Pictures
Elisha Cuthbert Fat and Pale Leaving the Tanning Salon Pictures
Elisha Cuthbert is a Fat Smoker Pictures

Posted in:cleavage|Elisha Cuthbert|Hot|Tits|Unsorted

2007

12

Sep

I am – Anna Kournikova In Some Red Dress Showing Off Her Legs and Cleavage of the Day

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Anna Kournikova is probably the most overrated tennis player of all time. I guess she was a nice addition to the sport because she’s pretty hot, and gave men a real reason to watch tennis, because seeing dykes screaming and grunting while flashing their panties isn’t as hot as some young tight bodied Russian chick. Here she is at some event with some fat chick because I the fat chick makes her look skinnier and prettier by comparison in pictures in Miami.

I was at a party with fat chicks the other night too. It wasn’t a very good party and the only reason I was there was because they were part of some group my wife is involved in, like Eating Anonymous or some shit. So here I am in a room full of fat chicks wanting to shoot myself in the head and all their boyfriends and husbands are there trying to have a good time, you know, drinking away their pain of having a wife that looks the way some of these chicks looked. I know some of the dudes didn’t sign up for this shit, but kids and postpartum depression lead to an emotional eating stay at home wife, but some of the other dudes were socially awkward lanky motherfuckers with no self esteem who got in with these chicks who have been fat all their lives because it’s better than being alone and here I am in a room full of them.

My fear was that an orgy was going to be organized, because swinging with obese chicks is when I decide my life isn’t worth living, even though watching it would have been fucking funny. They ended up just doing a conga line and eating more chips than I had ever seen consumed before, and I didn’t have my camera to bring it to you, but I do have these Kournikova pics which are a hell of a lot more interesting than my life and there is a fat chick who would have been considered skinny at the event I was at, but you can pretend.

Related Posts:

Anna Kournikova Bikini Top Pictures
More Anna Kournikova Bikini Top Pictures
Maria Sharapova Stretching Her Tennis Ass Pictures
Chicks Playing Tennis Pictures

2007

11

Sep

I am – Lisa Rinna Grabbing Her Tits of the Day

3 Comments »

I was never really into this bitch because she’s pretty unknown and I was too busy getting drunk and getting in trouble during the Melrose Place years. I did know a group of crackheads who were hooked on the shit but I did what I could to stay away because getting caught up in a TV show is almost as depressing as never having a career after a TV show. Either way, bitch knows what she’s good for and distracts us from her busted chpped up plastic surgery ridden face by playing with her tits like they are nintendo.

I just spent the last 20 minutes watching some hot chick in tight pants trying to change a light bulb in a women’s clothing store. She was standing on a ladder that didn’t reach so her attempt involved a lot of stretching, bending, squeezing and climbing up and down a step-ladder. She didn’t notice me watching for the first 10 minutes but as a crowd formed around me and we all watched her like she was a shitty adult soap opera she realized and wasn’t too happy. Some asshole tried to be the hero and went in to help her probably in hopes of getting her number while ruining it for the rest of us, but it was probably one of the hottest things I’ve seen all day and inspired me to get back to the gym to watch girls taking yoga classes because it is better than porn.

Here are Lisa Rinna Grabbing her fake tits pics while making sex faces, not sex faces I’ve ever seen, when I used to fuck girls would either be sleeping, or clenching their eyes waiting for the traumatic experience to end…not because I raped them, but because they couldn’t really stomach me.

Related Posts:

Lisa Rinna in a Swimsuit Pictures
Lisa Rinna is a Hard Nippled Clown Pictures
Lisa Rinna Tit Pimple Pictures

2007

10

Sep

I am – Natasha Lyonne at the Beach of the Day

7 Comments »

Fuck the MTV Awards and my neighbor who made me watch it with him. I don’t have a tv so I fucking sold my soul to the devil, or at least the creepiest motherfucker in the neighborhood in order to use his cable. I had to watch him eat licorice with his toothless mouth while staring me in the eyes the whole time i was there, stroking his leg and telling me stories about fucking some chick because she looked like his cousin and he always loved his cousin…….It was awkward, but not as awkward as the MTV awards. They were a pile of fucking shit that I didn’t understand, with hotel parties and fragments of corporate strategy made to look like party insanity, that I was going to liveblog because there was a time I was a live blogging champion, but I got distracted with the Sarah Silverman monologue. I have a serious hatred for her and it’s not because I am part of the german Nazi group that got arrested this weekend, it’s because she isn’t funny.

She is like every celebrity blog that I hate with the “crutch joke” of stating the obvious, but she just does it in a way that didn’t maker me or my neighbor who only bangs chicks who looks like his cousin crack a smile. She’s just this shock value piece of shit who likes talking about shit, it makes up 3/4 of her fucking material and then throws in such innovative shit like “Britney Spears Kids are a Mistake or Madonna is a Python she performed with on stage with last time or some fucking Paris Hilton interaction about her orifices”. I can only say that she has a father or uncle in important places because if I hate her this much, I can only assume you do to….

Speaking of worthless, fat, Jewish chicks that are only funny because they are such shitty quality, here’s Natasha Lyonne and her post drug addicted body on the beach in the shittiest quality pictures I’ve ever posted. There was a time I used to finger my ass to her Slums of Beverly Hills tits….but she always had a busted up face, it was just a matter of time before her body took her faces lead….

Related Posts:

Sarah Silverman Kissing Jessica Biel is a Gay Porn Moment in Picture
Live Bloggin The VMA’s 2006
Here’s Some Other Shit I’ve Live Blogged

Posted in:Beach|cleavage|Natasha Lyonne|Tits|Unsorted

2007

04

Sep

I am – Charlize Theron’s Cleavage of the Day

No Comments »

I have a token gay blogger to attract more girls to the site because girls like fags. There was a time when I knew a kid who pretended to be fag to get laid. He would trick girls into taking him shopping and trying on clothes for him. In his 6 month experiment he saw more bare vagina than anyone I’ve met. When he told the girls he wanted to test out vagina, they’d all comply, cuz they thought they were so hot that a gay dude would go straight for them….what they didn’t realize is that was his game and he was running it on so many chicks….

So anyway, if girls like fags and I let fags write for the site, maybe girls will like me enough to send me vagina pictures…so my token gay blogger wrote about these pictures that I wouldn’t normally post about because they are fashion shots and they are boring, but since he’s gay, I’ll let it slide because I know that we’re different and I accept diversity….and because I don’t want him reporting me as a discriminating gay hating guy with a website who doesn’t pay him cuz that will work against this whole getting girls to send in vagina pictures….

Here is his post….

So I was at this bar the other night and it was really boring and this group of cunts are standing around going “You almost spilled you drink on my 3000 dollar suit. C’MON!” and “I asked you to get me another drink. C’MON!” Now, we are all aware that Arrested Development was a really funny show and that it’s a shame that it got cancelled and blah blah blah. But please, don’t sully it’s good name by fucking quoting it to death. If I see one more fucking frat boy doing JOB’s chicken dance in the middle of a bar will actually vomit. You might as well be talking like Borat while wearing a “Vote For Pedro” t-shirt.

Move the fuck on.

Here are some pics of Charlize Theron looking like a whore. She played a retard on Arrested Development.

Smooch!

Julien

Related Posts:

Charlize Theron’s Hard Nipples
Charlize Theron’s Bikini Pics
Charlize Theron and Her Dog Pictures

Posted in:Charlize Theron|cleavage|Photoshoot|Tits|Unsorted

2007

04

Sep

I am – Charlize Theron's Cleavage of the Day

No Comments »

I have a token gay blogger to attract more girls to the site because girls like fags. There was a time when I knew a kid who pretended to be fag to get laid. He would trick girls into taking him shopping and trying on clothes for him. In his 6 month experiment he saw more bare vagina than anyone I’ve met. When he told the girls he wanted to test out vagina, they’d all comply, cuz they thought they were so hot that a gay dude would go straight for them….what they didn’t realize is that was his game and he was running it on so many chicks….

So anyway, if girls like fags and I let fags write for the site, maybe girls will like me enough to send me vagina pictures…so my token gay blogger wrote about these pictures that I wouldn’t normally post about because they are fashion shots and they are boring, but since he’s gay, I’ll let it slide because I know that we’re different and I accept diversity….and because I don’t want him reporting me as a discriminating gay hating guy with a website who doesn’t pay him cuz that will work against this whole getting girls to send in vagina pictures….

Here is his post….

So I was at this bar the other night and it was really boring and this group of cunts are standing around going “You almost spilled you drink on my 3000 dollar suit. C’MON!” and “I asked you to get me another drink. C’MON!” Now, we are all aware that Arrested Development was a really funny show and that it’s a shame that it got cancelled and blah blah blah. But please, don’t sully it’s good name by fucking quoting it to death. If I see one more fucking frat boy doing JOB’s chicken dance in the middle of a bar will actually vomit. You might as well be talking like Borat while wearing a “Vote For Pedro” t-shirt.

Move the fuck on.

Here are some pics of Charlize Theron looking like a whore. She played a retard on Arrested Development.

Smooch!

Julien

Related Posts:

Charlize Theron’s Hard Nipples
Charlize Theron’s Bikini Pics
Charlize Theron and Her Dog Pictures

Posted in:Charlize Theron|cleavage|Photoshoot|Tits|Unsorted

2007

03

Sep

I am – Britney Spears “Upskirt” of the Day

No Comments »

Everyone says that Britney is a wreck because she goes out in short dresses and doesn’t care if her ass is hanging out. I call it a miracle because there was a time that she was a candy-coated popstar we all wished would turn into a dirty slut who gets naked on command and who pretty much walks around naked all the time. It may have taken two kids and an over-eating disorder and lots of paparazzi in her face for a long enough time before realizing that she can’t shit without the world knowing to break her down, but the time has come and we should all fucking embrace it, because it is what we always wanted.

Now this is probably one of the shittiest upskirt ass shots I’ve seen of hers, but like every loser with a celebrity blog, I saw a little ass cheek and that made it worthy of a post. I am trying to convince a group of girls next to me in the starbucks to come back to my place for a hot tub party. They will be disappointed when they find out that the closest thing I have to a hot tub is a kettle and a bucket, but I have them considering coming over and hanging out in their underwear since they don’t have bikinis. I am a fucking awesome considering what I have going for me…which is pretty much nothing. If you’re wondering why I am at Starbucks, it’s because my neighbor who I think killed himself’s internet was cut off,

Point of all this is to say I would love to do Britney, I’d love to smell the kitchen garbage variety of scents that exudes from her box, because let’s face it, I’ve done dirtier, poorer, trashier, fatter bitches that her and comparatively she’s a fucking gem.

Bonus – Some Pictures of Britney with some Hired Friends, Sitting Like a Man at LAX in Vegas, DJ AM’s new Gayer than Bicycle Shorts Club, where he makes all the woman sit like men, cuz it gets him off. He’s so weird.

Bonus – Britney Before going to LA showing a little shitty upskirt and rockin’ some huge cans…

Related Posts:
Britney Spears Smoking and a Bikini Pictures
Britney Spears Panty Pictures
Britney Spears See Through Top Pictures
Britney Spears in Her Bra Pictures
Britney Spears Ass Crack Pictures
Britney Spears Panty Shot Upskirt Pictures

2007

03

Sep

I am – Britney Spears "Upskirt" of the Day

No Comments »

Everyone says that Britney is a wreck because she goes out in short dresses and doesn’t care if her ass is hanging out. I call it a miracle because there was a time that she was a candy-coated popstar we all wished would turn into a dirty slut who gets naked on command and who pretty much walks around naked all the time. It may have taken two kids and an over-eating disorder and lots of paparazzi in her face for a long enough time before realizing that she can’t shit without the world knowing to break her down, but the time has come and we should all fucking embrace it, because it is what we always wanted.

Now this is probably one of the shittiest upskirt ass shots I’ve seen of hers, but like every loser with a celebrity blog, I saw a little ass cheek and that made it worthy of a post. I am trying to convince a group of girls next to me in the starbucks to come back to my place for a hot tub party. They will be disappointed when they find out that the closest thing I have to a hot tub is a kettle and a bucket, but I have them considering coming over and hanging out in their underwear since they don’t have bikinis. I am a fucking awesome considering what I have going for me…which is pretty much nothing. If you’re wondering why I am at Starbucks, it’s because my neighbor who I think killed himself’s internet was cut off,

Point of all this is to say I would love to do Britney, I’d love to smell the kitchen garbage variety of scents that exudes from her box, because let’s face it, I’ve done dirtier, poorer, trashier, fatter bitches that her and comparatively she’s a fucking gem.

Bonus – Some Pictures of Britney with some Hired Friends, Sitting Like a Man at LAX in Vegas, DJ AM’s new Gayer than Bicycle Shorts Club, where he makes all the woman sit like men, cuz it gets him off. He’s so weird.

Bonus – Britney Before going to LA showing a little shitty upskirt and rockin’ some huge cans…

Related Posts:
Britney Spears Smoking and a Bikini Pictures
Britney Spears Panty Pictures
Britney Spears See Through Top Pictures
Britney Spears in Her Bra Pictures
Britney Spears Ass Crack Pictures
Britney Spears Panty Shot Upskirt Pictures

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