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Archive for the Doutzen Kroes Category

2010

21

May

Doutzen Kroes by Terry Richardson for June’s US Vogue of the Day

9 Comments »

I don’t know how I feel about Terrry Richardson because I know that he’s a bullshit rip off artist who did nothing innovative, he just did it right, because he had rich friends and tricked the fashion world into thinking he was this fucking visionary, when all he was doing was taking amateur style borderline softcore pornographic pictures, which is nothing innovative but it is fucking awesome….leaving me confused as to whether I should hate the guy for being an obvious rich kid trying to be some deep artist/hipster/idiot I can’t stand, or if I should appreciate the fact that he gets most bitches he shoots posing semi-erotic because he’s tricked them into thinking shooting with him is “huge’ for their career making them willing to do anything for him, and unfortunately for us, he’s gone soft and corporate, cuz pics of bitches laying gold eggs are too hardcore for fashion mags, so Doutzen Kroes didn’t feel obligated to show some fucking nipple or pussy lip, but nude at the beach, even if covered up is still a decent starting point of a fantasy….so I’ll post it anyway…

Here are some pictures of Doutzen in Vogue Russia that actually show off her big model body….

Posted in:Doutzen Kroes|Terry Richardson|Vogue

2010

28

Apr

Doutzen Kroes in Her Bikini for Bazaar of the Day

5 Comments »

Doutzen Kroes is another one of those models who is owned by Victoria’s Secret because Victoria’s Secret found them in some obscure country, kidnapped them and forced them to sign their “agency” for life, or until they are done with them, and if they don’t, their family gets killed off or some shit…the only non Victoria’s Secret shit they can do is SI, or any other bikini/lingerie work, to keep people wanting to fuck them, so that there is a reason for the Victoria’s Secret catalog, or some shit….

So here she is in Bazaar, and the pictures don’t have as much Vagina lip as I’d like to see, but it’s better than nothing….

Posted in:Bikini|Doutzen Kroes

2010

12

Apr

Doutzen Kroes Gets Sexy for Numero Tokyo of the Day

5 Comments »

Fashion pulls through again…it’s like they convince these hot chicks to get half naked with a little thing called money and a false sense of quality, class, shit I don’t understand because the only thing I ever tried to do in fashion was crotchless panties I made from panties I picked up at the Salvation Army…

Here is Doutzen Kroes proving that models are nothing but whores who only fuck you if you’re a billionaire, but will get naked for you if you offer them enough money and pretend you work in the industry…Good times…

Posted in:Doutzen Kroes|Fashion|Model

2010

27

Jan

Doutzen Kroes Takes my Advice to Heart of the Day

7 Comments »

I just posted about how fat and lazy Doutzen Kroes is and how she needs to hang with Precious to look skinny and hot like a model is supposed to look, and I guess she took my advice to heart, cuz here she is doing a workout between takes at the Victoria’s Secret photoshoot…at least I like to think I have that kind of impact, when really no one knows I exist, but here she is working out to remind you that it is never too late to change your life around….

Pics via LFI

Posted in:Doutzen Kroes|Fat

2010

27

Jan

Doutzen Kroes Hanging With Pregnant Chicks in Bikinis of the Day

4 Comments »

Doutzen Kroes is big and she doesn’t really prove that she’s not as thick as she seems when standing next to a pregnant chick in a bikini, an tool used for generations to make bigger girls look skinny by comparison, because this pregnant chick looks like something Doutzen could eat for lunch, or even a snack to muster up the energy to get back on the beach running, cuz these pics of her being sitting, scratching her fat ass and recovering between shots is lazy because lazy is what got her this big in the first place, and once you get this big it makes not being lazy impossible because your stamina is down, your energy level is down, and just getting out of bed is a struggle.

Seriously, I know from experience, I just rolled out of bed, dry heaved in the bathroom after having what must have been an asthma attack, before shitting myself when I got outside to walk my stupid dog cuz I thought it was just a fart. I figure that hard drinking may be reason, but obesity probably plays a factor, or maybe it’s just all in my fucking head, but what I do know is that if I was pretending to run on the beach and if I didn’t die of a heart attack in the process, I’d be doin’ the Doutzen and taking a breather too…..

Either way, she’s a bit of a monster I’d like to fuck, I can’t hold the fact that her fingers are bigger than my penis against her, since most women fingers are bigger than my dick and I’d leave my life womanless…..She should just step up her shit and stop hanging with pregnant chicks and start hanging with Precious cuz I guess since winning Golden Globes isn’t her specialty, making bitches who stand next to her look skinny is.

Yes, I’ve posted other pics of this shoot, but these are new ones….seriously…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Big|Doutzen Kroes|Model

2010

26

Jan

Doutzen Kroes and her Thick Body in a Sports Bra of the Day

8 Comments »

Doutzen Kroes was doing some Victoria’s Secret modeling and she looked like she was getting ready for the superbowl, seriously, this bitch is jacked and I’m sure it’s a nice change of pace from the other skinny bitches Victoria’s Secret exploits, especially for the gays who don’t know they are gay yet and the blacks who have dicks designed for “thick” bitches….and I guess for me who likes anything that claims or is marketed as having a pussy….and ehre are the pics…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Doutzen Kroes|Sports Bra|Thick

2009

14

Dec

Boring Bikini Model Party You Weren’t Invited to of the Day

1 Comment »

Doutzen Kroes and Alessandra Ambrosio were kickin’ it after their really stressful day standing around in a bikini and getting paid hundreds of thousands of dollars, so they hit the bottle….and shit looked really fucking boring. I prefer model parties to end with lesbian sex orgies because they had a little too much to drink….

My only really question is what happened to Adriana Lima? She was always my favorite one and her wholesome viringity was a lot more fun than watching washed up mothers drinkin’ themselves stupid cuz they’ve got nothing better to do with their time while the baby is with the sitter and they’ve got 5 minutes to their fucking self to let loose and play charades or whatever the fuck she’s doing…all this party is missing is for one of these sluts to bust out the Scrabble board….cuz they’re so fucking wild.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Doutzen Kroes

2009

10

Dec

Doutzen Kroes in Some Bikini Photoshoot of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t want to ruin your excitement about bikini models, because I know they look amazing in pictures, like their bodies are fucking slammin’ and that’s why they are bikini models. The reality is that I’ve been next to some low level bikini models in my life and bitches are fucking tall and wide, like freaks of fucking nature, that make my 300 pound frame look like a premature kid on his 12th birthday, too weak to open my presents or some shit….

So everytime I see these photoshoots, I know that we’re dealing with some King Kong, caged animal on stage shit for all of us to gawk at in awe of their size…only the kind of King Kong, caged animal on stage I’d want to perform a live sex show like we’re in Thailand with….

On a sidenote I love the action shot I posted as a header to this post, it’s like they are in crisis mode and the hair girl is running as the water girls makes Doutzen wet and knowing these people are the top of their game, like that bitch in the shirt is the best water pourer in the biz, and that they make more than all of us is fucking hysterical, because the core of what they do is really fucking useless in the grand scheme of things…not that you care…go back to masturbating…asshole.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bikini|Doutzen Kroes

2009

19

Nov

Victoria’s Secret Girls Not in Lingerie of the Day

2 Comments »

This may seem obvious to you, but obvious it isn’t obvious to the people at Victoria’s Secret, but if you have a team of lingerie models who work for you on a full time basis and who are the core of your marketing of your brand, you have a responsibility to the people who jerk off to these women and in turn to your brand, who make all your execs rich and allow you to afford the expensive photoshoots and to afford the scouts traveling the world kidnapping hot pussy and greasing government officials to bring to America to exploit for their hot tits, and that responsibility is to always keep the bitches in their fucking panties or bikinis, not in jeans and pink t-shirts.

We dont give a fuck about seeing these whores in everyday clothes, we have enough women in our lives who we are forced to see in everyday clothes cuz we can’t afford to bribe them into getting half-naked like Victoria’s Secret has done for us and this is pretty rude on their part, you know the whole giving us a taste and not following thru making this the biggest cockteasing company out there…assholes…

Here are some extra pics of Marisa “the body” Miller’s face lookin’ old.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Clothed|Doutzen Kroes|Marisa Miller|Victoria's Secret

2009

30

Oct

Doutzen Kroes in Some One Piece Bathing Suit of the Day

3 Comments »

More Victoria’s Secret staged behind the scenes pictures aren’t a bad thing, but the ego that it creates within the women who are signed to Victoria’s Secret piss me off, because it is very hard to make a bitch like that feel like a worthless whore and that’s been my strategy all these years to get pussy…..but at least I can jerk off to them….sometimes more satisfying because it is less work, less physical activity, less sweating and dealing with less bullshit from her trying to get in her pants, and maintaining her when you have got in her pants but most importantly cuz she won’t be finding out you gave her herpes….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Doutzen Kroes|One Piece