Kate Upton Archives - Page 13 of 27 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2013

19

Dec

Kate Upton’s Boobs in Slow Motion for a Trailer of the Day

I am sure I posted the behind the scenes paparazzi pics of this movie, because I remember seeing them, but feel a little uninterested in looking for Cameron Diaz and Kate Upton on the beach, but I don’t mind posting the edited footage of Kate Upton’s tits on the beach, not because I like her awkward shitty ass body and shitty acting….or even because I like her tits…but because you do…and I’m accommodating like that…I mean if anything this is a massive fucking Judd Apatow joke…thanks to an Sports Illustrated swimsuit joke….the worst….but tits…sloppy or not…are tits…

Posted in:Kate Upton

2013

26

Nov

A Couple More Pics of Kate Upton at the Horrible Photoshoot of the Day

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I posted some of these pics of FAT PIG UPTON yesterday…when I was in a state of shock that they happened…because FAT PIG UPTON is an enemy of the site, and really an enemy to the nation…

If a girl of this size and level of disgusting can be celebrated, where is the motivation for girls to get fit, to not eat like cows, because apparently cows are what all you sick fucks want to fuck…cuz I guess hot girls are boring to you and you’re going down that slippery slope of weirdness…

I think she’s been issued by the government to encourage obesity, to be a beacon of hope for fast food companies, and to create a sick and lazy nation…

I don’t understand how seeing a fat girl rolling around in the sand is anything hot, or positive, if anything, these fuckers are just playing a sick joke on us…

She is the worst.

TO SEE ALL THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Upton

2013

25

Nov

Really Weird Kate Upton Photshoot Pics of the Day

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I have no idea what’s going on here…I don’t know when it is from…or what it is of…all I see is farm animals and a lot of skin…it’s confusing me and reminds me of every drunken slut I’ve ever brought home…no, my drunken sluts aren’t models…but they are pigs..some would ever call them cows…if they saw their udders…

BOOM. This should punish you – but unfortunately, not for her, or for SI, you like it..you fertile, well fed bitch, loving piece of shit.

Posted in:Kate Upton

2013

07

Nov

Kate Upton Gets Body Painted of the Day

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SI is trying to generate Buzz by releasing the world record winning body paint video in the category of “Most Paint Used To Cover The Massive Vagina of this Cow of a Model”…I heard they went through thousands of dollars of the paint..and craft services..that’s a whole other story..feeding this girl on set the 14 hours it takes to body paint her…was more food than an african village consumes in a month…money better spent hiring actual HOT bikini models…but no one listens to me…they just hate on someone calling a huge girl who shouldn’t be in a bikini out for tricking the world in the weirdest way with sloppy tits….

Posted in:Kate Upton

2013

05

Nov

Kate Upton Cleavage in Australia of the Day

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Kate Upton squeezed her fat belly and awkward shaped ass into a red dress at the Melbourne cup that we can assume has four layers of SPANX under it…which is almost erotic for anyone not bringing her home at the end of the night to see her gut spill out all over the place..when the lights and cameras turn off….which is never erotic for a Bikini model who should be fit as fuck…to teach the people about health and fitness and celebrate a good healthy body to prevent people from eating chips….

The Melbourne cup, for those of you who don’t know, is the horse races, where we can safely assume Kate Upton was to meet her biological mother.

That joke never gets old…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Upton

2013

09

Oct

Kate Upton Has Sex with a Hot Pocket for Money or Hot Pockets of the Day

5 Comments »

This hot pocket campaign with Snoop and Kate Upton would make sense if Kate Upton wasn’t an awkwardly shaped fat girl in training….a model who despite all her fame and success is plus sized…because seeing her have sex with her hot pocket…hits way too close to home…it reminds me of when she’s alone in her apartment and no one is watching all eating her feelings…and the worst thing in all this is that Upton actually begged for the gig and offered to do it for a lifetime supply of the pizza treat…no money…just cheesy meaty goodness…because you know this is how she actually gets off..right?

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Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2013

03

Oct

Kate Upton’s Pregnancy Glow of the Day

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I don’t know if Kate Upton is sweating like the pig that she is because she just walked up a flight of stares, or if her face is just shiny because she shoved it in a trough of french fries, I just know she looks disgusting, so disgusting that you’d expect her to not leave her house without a mask on, or maybe some cover-up make-up, cameras are high res and no one wants to see your fast food eating break-out, especially not when you’re an overpaid, overrated, fat model who doesn’t deserve the success she has…she is just a set of tits that went viral and that people attached themselves to to get hits…but this cow needs to be taken to pasture and forgotten…the milk’s gone sour…which is good because she’s probably pregnant and hormonal hence the reason she has a baby bump and bad skin….you heard it here first people…Drunkenstepfather.com News Maker….yo

If you’re more into her posing in a baseball uniform all thick legged and loose shirt cuz she’s got a shitty bloated water retaining from too much salt body…here is a photoshoot SI did with her….cuz SI loves this silly girl…she’s put them back on the map…

She looks awful….Anna Nicole Smith in training, only Anna Nicole Smith pulled off fat and busty a lot better…

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2013

02

Oct

Kate Upton is Pregnant of the Day

4 Comments »

I think Kate Upton is pregnant…that or just fat…

Now fat girls, I know you are out there, and you are mad that I would call Kate Upton fat, while you’re way fatter and indirectly that insults you….but hear me out…you are fat, and that’s ok, because you’re allowed to be, you don’t put yourself out there, and magazines aren’t eating you up like you ate that cake last night, because you were feeling sad…..you aren’t celebrated and making millions, being the highest booked model, even though you aren’t built like a model, and I don’t mean like a skinny anorexic, I mean like a girl who isn’t 165 pounds and ready to mud wrestle…

I just think it is wrong, and telling our youth it is ok to be fat, which I can only assume is a government play cuz they want us eating shitty foods, they want us sick, tired and unable to think clearly….on our couches watching their shows and buying their garbage…so why not slow transition a fat girl like Lena Dunham or this one into idiol status…

This is a war I think we collectively need to fight…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2013

19

Sep

Kate Upton By James Webber of the Day

1 Comment »

I think it is safe to assume that these pictures of Kate Upton that have been circulating the last couple of days are a few years old…because she doesn’t have the bloated fat girl face the world seems to love and not realize is a bloated fat girl face…but rather market aggressively because her tits get hits…even if they are sloppy and just fat girl in training tits….

She’s got an awkward body, she’s overrated and overexposed, she proves that to go viral or to be popular, you don’t need to have any real talent or skill, you just need the right media outlets brainwashing their retards…and everything about her pretty much annoys me…because she doesn’t deserve all this..but ultimately, I can step back from that rage and look at her tits…in a bra..I’m talented like that….