Kim Kardashian Archives - Page 38 of 40 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2008

20

Feb

Kim Kardashian’s Tight Dress of the Day

I just woke up and don’t feel like writing this site. What I do feel like doing is saving the world so I decided to report some suspect website that had naked under 18 year olds on it. I contacted my local authorities and gave me an email address to report what I found. This is what I wrote:

I just came across this family nudism website.

I know there is no harm in nudism and all that – but I fear they are attracting the wrong kind of audience – who look at this kind of thing sexually.

I bet a lot of predators are signed up to that site!!!

ps – there’s a really hot girl who is barely 18 on there.. What I wouldn’t do to be 16 again and get that drunk for her first time and show her a good time when my parents are out of town ! Let me know if you can find any information on her, I’d love to make her famous and she’s already willing to get naked so we’re halfway there. Thanks!!

Now, I will probably go to jail for trying to be funny about under 18 year olds naked. But before I do, here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian in some GoGo dancer lookin’ dress hugging her big ass like you wish you could do. In case you were wondering, Kim Kardashian is not under 18, it takes many years of eating to make an ass like that. Cuddles.

Related Posts:

Kourtney Kardashian’s Bikini in Miami
Kim Kardashian’s Armenian Ass
Kim Kardashian Wearing a Bra for Her Big Boobs
KIm Kardashian’s Got Some Crazy TIts

Posted in:Ass|Kim Kardashian|Tight Dress|Tits

2008

18

Feb

Kim Kardashian’s Big Tits and Ass on Valentine’s Day of the Day

4 Comments »

My wife just came out of the room wearing some kind of silk sheet as a dress and told me that she’s decided to become a plus sized model at 40 years old. I told her that plus sized models are just a lazy disgusting version of regular sized models and they only get work because America is fat as fuck and offended by regular sized models, calling them too skinny and boney and all that other hurtful shit that is a hell of a lot better than being plus sized. It still gives fat girls the opportunity to get work pretending to be normal and attractive and not lazy slob freaks of nature they are….and that said my wife’s got no chance because she can barely get out of bet let alone fit into a pair of plus sized pants for people to take pictures of.

I went on to tell her that what we don’t see after jerking off to those plus sized lingerie catalogs that I know you’re so fond of, is that it’s not all that glamorous. It’s all about a whole lot of fabric and elastic bands, reinforced runways and chairs, emergency crews at the shoots in case of heart attacks and most importantly all you can eat buffets. That’s when I lost my wife’s attention and she hit up the kitchen for her own all you can eat party involving her and her best friend Oreo.

Here’s some Kim Kardashian from last week showing off her plus sized tits and plus sized ass at some plus sized event because she’s luxurious like that.

Posted in:Big Ass|Big Tits|Kim Kardashian

2007

15

Nov

I am – Kim Kardashian’s Apple Bottom Like Apples of the Day

2 Comments »

I think she did this shit on purpose. What are the chances of a bitch with an apple bottom posing with fuckin’ apples? It’s like she went out with her on staff paparazzi and was like, people always freak out over my ass, how about we get a shot of me bending over with an apple in hand, it’ll be so funny and ironic and creative and reality is that it’s none of those things, it’s just lame and her ass isn’t comparable to an apple, but more to apple pie and way too much of it. Bitch needs to hit the stair master in a big way, and by big I mean, she’s fat.

I am pretty sick today, been in bed all day, so writing about Kim Kardashians fat ass is about as exciting as waking up with a snot covered face and pillow making me feel like I was just in a gay orgy or some shit.

I don’t know why she’s wearing two different outfits in these pics, I can only assume it’s because she shit herself. I guess that would also explain her shit smeared skin color….it comes with the territory when your ass is that massive. It’s like wondering why your hummer burns so much fuel, not that you have a hummer, you’re too busy being unemployed to ever really afford much more than a skateboard, even though you aren’t even cool enough to skateboard…you’re more of a rollerblader like DJ AM, only he does that shit in bicycle shorts and is so gay that he makes them shorts look straight.

Related Posts:

Kim Kardashian’s Pussy Preview
Kim Kardashian’s Tits are Insane
Kim Kardashian’s Tits Blow Out Candles

Posted in:Apple Bottom|Ass|Booty|Kim Kardashian|Unsorted

2007

26

Oct

I am – Kim Kardashian’s Tits at an Event of the Day

8 Comments »

So I ran into this 19 year old girl I used to finger bang and hang out with in the park because she liked my sense of humor. She’d do dances for me in a leotard and touch her toes on command every time we hung out. I hadn’t seen her in a while but she was with some dude I could tell she was banging. When I asked if she was doing him, she denied it because I guess she didn’t want me knowing how much of a dirty little girl she is because she is convinced that one day I will leave my wife and we will get married even though my dick doesn’t work. Since I am pretty good at knowing what’s up and people are all pretty much all the same I could tell that she was lying about it and that they were actually having sex just by the way they were acting together. For some reason, girls like to think they can pull a fast one and get away with being “naughty” or keeping secrets but it’s always been so fucking obvious to me. I have always been able to tell when a girl cheats on me or when a girl’s been doing dirty things she doesn’t want me to know about. It’s like a sixth sense, without Bruce Willis or that Joel Osmond freak, so I decided to write her an IM saying “i know you’re banging that dude”, not that I care, I just like knowing the truth, like I am the X-Files and her vagina is the paranormal. Either way, she finally admitted it to me and wrote this:

hes like how i am with you, only theres sexual attraction

I just wanted to post it because it really boosted my non-existant self esteem. Speaking of self esteem here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian putting the fat ASS in KardASShian at some premiere, thinking she’s got it goin’ on, because too many people tell her how hot she is, when they should really be telling her she’s just a waste of fucking tits, only she doesn’t realize it yet. The truth may hurt but at least people know where they stand or in my case sit.

Related Posts:

Kim Kardashian Blowin Dicks Not Candles Pictures
Kim Kardashian’s Big Ol’ Tits
Kim Kardashian Mom Jeans
Kim Kardashian’s Pussy Preview

Posted in:Dress|Fat|Kim Kardashian|Tits|Unsorted

2007

26

Oct

I am – Kim Kardashian's Tits at an Event of the Day

No Comments »

So I ran into this 19 year old girl I used to finger bang and hang out with in the park because she liked my sense of humor. She’d do dances for me in a leotard and touch her toes on command every time we hung out. I hadn’t seen her in a while but she was with some dude I could tell she was banging. When I asked if she was doing him, she denied it because I guess she didn’t want me knowing how much of a dirty little girl she is because she is convinced that one day I will leave my wife and we will get married even though my dick doesn’t work. Since I am pretty good at knowing what’s up and people are all pretty much all the same I could tell that she was lying about it and that they were actually having sex just by the way they were acting together. For some reason, girls like to think they can pull a fast one and get away with being “naughty” or keeping secrets but it’s always been so fucking obvious to me. I have always been able to tell when a girl cheats on me or when a girl’s been doing dirty things she doesn’t want me to know about. It’s like a sixth sense, without Bruce Willis or that Joel Osmond freak, so I decided to write her an IM saying “i know you’re banging that dude”, not that I care, I just like knowing the truth, like I am the X-Files and her vagina is the paranormal. Either way, she finally admitted it to me and wrote this:

hes like how i am with you, only theres sexual attraction

I just wanted to post it because it really boosted my non-existant self esteem. Speaking of self esteem here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian putting the fat ASS in KardASShian at some premiere, thinking she’s got it goin’ on, because too many people tell her how hot she is, when they should really be telling her she’s just a waste of fucking tits, only she doesn’t realize it yet. The truth may hurt but at least people know where they stand or in my case sit.

Related Posts:

Kim Kardashian Blowin Dicks Not Candles Pictures
Kim Kardashian’s Big Ol’ Tits
Kim Kardashian Mom Jeans
Kim Kardashian’s Pussy Preview

Posted in:Dress|Fat|Kim Kardashian|Tits|Unsorted

2007

22

Oct

I am – Kim Kardashian’s TIts Blow Candles and Not Dick of the Day

5 Comments »

I hate the word Douche and Douchebag with a fucking passion. I don’t know why this shit got picked up so aggressively the last couple of years because people have been saying it a long time. The only really experience I have with douche bags is when I worked at a Pharmacy and some old fucking lady came up to me and asked where she could find the 3 Gallon douche bags. I didn’t really know how to react so I took her big vagina to the douche section and could only find her the 1/2 gallon douche bag. She was furious and I said she could just use the half gallon one 12 times and she wasn’t impressed.

Either way, I accidentally dropped the word douche this weekend for the first time, because I guess I am like you and easily influenced by the media and people around me, and when I realized that shit came out of my mouth, I wanted to kill myself.

Speaking of suicide, here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian celebrating her birthday with her tits at Les Deux in Los Angeles. I don’t know how old she is, but another year older means another year closer to death, and let’s face it she might as well just speed up the process because she’s a waste of fucking space and that would only prove she’s not too stupid to realize it. But I do like watching her blow out her candles on her cakes that are even more obnoxious that she is even though it’s not as exiting as her blowing black men, but it’s good enough for monday morning entertainment.

Related Posts:

Kim Kardashian’s Bikini Pictures
Kim Kardashian’s Armenian Ass
Kim Kardashians Big Breast Weekend
Kim Kadashian Wears a Bra

Posted in:Birthday|Kim Kardashian|Slut|Tits|Unsorted

2007

22

Oct

I am – Kim Kardashian's TIts Blow Candles and Not Dick of the Day

No Comments »

I hate the word Douche and Douchebag with a fucking passion. I don’t know why this shit got picked up so aggressively the last couple of years because people have been saying it a long time. The only really experience I have with douche bags is when I worked at a Pharmacy and some old fucking lady came up to me and asked where she could find the 3 Gallon douche bags. I didn’t really know how to react so I took her big vagina to the douche section and could only find her the 1/2 gallon douche bag. She was furious and I said she could just use the half gallon one 12 times and she wasn’t impressed.

Either way, I accidentally dropped the word douche this weekend for the first time, because I guess I am like you and easily influenced by the media and people around me, and when I realized that shit came out of my mouth, I wanted to kill myself.

Speaking of suicide, here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian celebrating her birthday with her tits at Les Deux in Los Angeles. I don’t know how old she is, but another year older means another year closer to death, and let’s face it she might as well just speed up the process because she’s a waste of fucking space and that would only prove she’s not too stupid to realize it. But I do like watching her blow out her candles on her cakes that are even more obnoxious that she is even though it’s not as exiting as her blowing black men, but it’s good enough for monday morning entertainment.

Related Posts:

Kim Kardashian’s Bikini Pictures
Kim Kardashian’s Armenian Ass
Kim Kardashians Big Breast Weekend
Kim Kadashian Wears a Bra

Posted in:Birthday|Kim Kardashian|Slut|Tits|Unsorted

2007

10

Oct

I am – Kim Kardashian’s Tits of the Day

4 Comments »

So it turns out that Kim Kardashian’s got some reality TV show with her sister called “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” and I am sure it’s going to be some next level shit that will change all our fucking lives. I am not really sure what Kim Kardashian does but I can only assume keeping up with her is pretty fucking easy. Other than the fact that we don’t have high powered lawyers as a father, who died and left us a huge inheritance to travel the world and attend events, or the fact that we don’t fuck black men on video for the world to see, or the fact that our asses, despite being 300 lbs aren’t as big as hers, I think the only real challenges this bitch faces is putting on a pair of jeans in the morning.

Reality is that I like to think I am going to the top, and will have my own show called Keeping up with Jesus Martinez, that would involve me sitting on a computer all day and drinking myself into the gutter all night, but not at those trendy clubs, I am talking a bottle of whiskey and a park. I am not going to the top because I am talent or because I have any readers or any prospects but I like to think I am because I have a slutty reader who wants to fuck me and that shit makes me feel like a star. She’s got daddy issues and I am all about daddy issues. She probably has a boyfriend or husband and she is probably 200 pounds and likes videogames and jogging pants, but I don’t care. I like the attention. I am the flavor of the month for her and she’ll be done with this site in the next couple of weeks, but right now I guess she gets off to what I write. It’s too bad that the real me is a lot less interesting and attractive as I make myself out to be. If I ever made my way to California where she lives, which is always possible cuz I hate my wife, and set up a little meeting with her to get her to let me watch her shower, she’d only look at me in disgust and call the police. See you and me really do have a lot in common. Only difference is that bitches aren’t leaving you these kinds of messages.

Listen to the Message She Left Me Today .

Either way, here are pics of Kim Kardashian’s tits at the premiere of her shitty show….

Related Posts:

Kim Kardashian’s Mom Jeans
Some Kim Kardashian Sex Tape Preview Pics
Kim Kadashian’s Bikini Pictures
Kim Kardashian’s Armenian Ass

2007

10

Oct

I am – Kim Kardashian's Tits of the Day

4 Comments »

So it turns out that Kim Kardashian’s got some reality TV show with her sister called “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” and I am sure it’s going to be some next level shit that will change all our fucking lives. I am not really sure what Kim Kardashian does but I can only assume keeping up with her is pretty fucking easy. Other than the fact that we don’t have high powered lawyers as a father, who died and left us a huge inheritance to travel the world and attend events, or the fact that we don’t fuck black men on video for the world to see, or the fact that our asses, despite being 300 lbs aren’t as big as hers, I think the only real challenges this bitch faces is putting on a pair of jeans in the morning.

Reality is that I like to think I am going to the top, and will have my own show called Keeping up with Jesus Martinez, that would involve me sitting on a computer all day and drinking myself into the gutter all night, but not at those trendy clubs, I am talking a bottle of whiskey and a park. I am not going to the top because I am talent or because I have any readers or any prospects but I like to think I am because I have a slutty reader who wants to fuck me and that shit makes me feel like a star. She’s got daddy issues and I am all about daddy issues. She probably has a boyfriend or husband and she is probably 200 pounds and likes videogames and jogging pants, but I don’t care. I like the attention. I am the flavor of the month for her and she’ll be done with this site in the next couple of weeks, but right now I guess she gets off to what I write. It’s too bad that the real me is a lot less interesting and attractive as I make myself out to be. If I ever made my way to California where she lives, which is always possible cuz I hate my wife, and set up a little meeting with her to get her to let me watch her shower, she’d only look at me in disgust and call the police. See you and me really do have a lot in common. Only difference is that bitches aren’t leaving you these kinds of messages.

Listen to the Message She Left Me Today .

Either way, here are pics of Kim Kardashian’s tits at the premiere of her shitty show….

Related Posts:

Kim Kardashian’s Mom Jeans
Some Kim Kardashian Sex Tape Preview Pics
Kim Kadashian’s Bikini Pictures
Kim Kardashian’s Armenian Ass

2007

26

Sep

I am – Kim Kardashian’s Mom Jeans of the Day

3 Comments »

I was at a bar the other day and I saw 2 chicks making out with each other. They were like half-breed lesbians who didn’t think it was funny when I moved in and asked for a 3-way kiss. They were too busy being into each other and it was pretty much a waste of a hot chick. She looked really hot in her tight skirt and cleavage exposing shirt and the way she moved made her look like a dirty little fuck. She on this sexually liberated experimental kick that girls go through, but she wasn’t in the mood for any cock. Not that I had any cock to offer but they were blowing off dudes from every angle. I don’t think they were pulling the whole frat boy chick making out thing to get guys to look at them but I do think they were legitimately into each other and not doing it for attention, but because they were drunk and horny and were going to go home to fuck the shit out of each other in the scissor stance. I didn’t find it hot to watch and refused to watch the spectacle because I can’t deal with hot lesbians who turn down cock. I can deal with lesbians who look like dudes and wear leather because they are just man hating rape victims and shit, but hot lesbians who I want to fuck but who don’t want anything to do with me or any other penis for that matter but hot chicks who who are into other hot chicks and refuse dick just piss me the fuck off.

Either way, Kardashian may not be into girls and she may be into black dude cock, because black guys are good at working the huge fucking asses but she’s rockin’ a pair of mom jeans, that make her ass look even bigger than usual and that remind me more of the man hating lesbians who work construction and drink been than the hot little sluts who don’t like dudes who I saw the other day. Both are equally annoying.

Related Posts:

Kim Kardashian and Jenna do Heatherette Fashion Show
Kristen Davis and Kim Kardashian are Friends
Kim Kardashian Bikini Pictures
Kim Kardashian’s Armenian Ass

Archive for the Kim Kardashian Category