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Archive for the Kim Kardashian Category

2009

22

Jun

Kourtney and the Monster Kardashian in Bikinis of the Day

24 Comments »


I saw Kim Kardashian in person in Toronto last night. She was wearing horizontal stripes and looked like her and Kelly Clarkson had just finished a week long vacation at an all you can eat buffet, but I guess compared to her monster sister, she looked dainty and that’s why she’s so sad about her recent move to Miami, bitch worked better than a fuckin’ diet and workout plan, and here she is in her dumpy body showing off her high waisted bikini bottoms you’d expect to see on a mom of 5 at her 60th bithday party at a resort in Dominican or some shit. If you’re under 30 and rockin’ the uterus spanx shit, you know you’re in trouble, not that the monster Kardashian didn’t already know she was in trouble, despite the mirrors in her house bein taken down, she still sometimes catches a reflection in a window….I’m a little more down with the other Kardashian, but let’s be real for a minute, I’d fuck them both.

Posted in:Bikinis|Kim Kardashian|Kourtney Kardashian

2009

16

Jun

Lookin’ Down Kim Kardashian’s Shirt of the Day

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Armenian is such a beautiful language, you know, when you meet an Armenian girl and they start talking to you in their soft ethnic accent, and you think to yourself that this really nice complexion girl with her big brown eyes and amazing body had to have been sent to you from heaven, even when she says she needs to take a piss, shit warms your fuckin’ hear, then she picks up her phone only to talk to her other Armenian friend in Armenian and a series of hacks, spits and angry sounds come out of her, shit that sounds vile and like child molestation would sound if it was a language, and when you ask what happened and what’s wrong, thinking she just heard that her father killed her mother or some shit, she says she was just telling her mom she’ll be home in an hour.

That’s not to say Kim Kardashian knows the language or that she really has any substance, other than the shit spilling over her belt, because she is fat, but he does have a deep loving relationship with Armenian food, and really all food for that matter and that’s all that really matters….and like all fat chicks I see bending over, I can’t help but stare at their tits, I’m a man dammit and that’s just what we do.

So here’s the Armenian poster girl, you know the one little American Armenian girls look up to, since not that many other celebs are Armenian, and she is showing off her fatty tits…

Posted in:cleavage|Kim Kardashian|Shirt|Tits

2009

03

Jun

Kim Kardashian’s Fat Ass Hangs with Brittny Gastineau’s Fat Tits of the Day

5 Comments »

One day, not too long ago, a fat ass met it’s soulmate who was a fat set of tits. It wasn’t a conventional love affair, but they somehow knew they belonged together, not that were going to take over the world together, but they would definitely go out for ice cream, because ice cream is really all they have in common, but in this case, it is a match made in heaven and that bond is more than enough, because ice cream and really anything sweet is such a huge part of both of their lives….

Posted in:Brittny Gastineau|Kim Kardashian|Tits

2009

28

May

Kim Kardashian and Her Bikini Top at an Event of the Day

27 Comments »

You’d think a bitch who has the balls to make a fucking workout DVD wouldn’t be ashamed to take her fucking sarong or whatever the fuck those ass covering devices for insecure girls at the beach are called.

I know if I am obnoxious enough to claim I am good enough at something to have an instructional video for the shit, I’m going to put my money where my fuckin’ mouth is, to try to show the world that I am not some money grubbing hack who attaches my name on anything that sells, especially if it is DVDs of me in compromising positions that show off my big ass for black guys to use as fetish porn instead of for the marketed purpose of the shit.

I guess I shouldn’t hate Kardashian for providing a service to dudes, because in writing this post, I realize that no one is going to buy her workout DVD to workout to, this is strictly a PG porn project and that’s work worth recognizing, despite the fact that her look’s not my thing, but her attitude in exploiting herself should be every girl’s thing.

Posted in:Bikini Top|Kim Kardashian

2009

13

May

Kim Kardashian’s Fat Tits for Pepsi of the Day

4 Comments »

I don’t really understand the message that Pepsi is tring to send out to the kids. Not because they have her dressed in PVC with her tits hanging out of the shit, but because they sponsoring an amateur porn whore. Her major claim to fame was having a sex tape released starring her, her big tits, her fat ass and her bald pussy all getting ravaged by a black man.

That’s pretty much telling white girls everywhere that if they want a career, they just need to videotape themselves fucking a black man and next thing you know, they’ll be on TV, they’ll make lots of money, they’ll get corporate sponsors and it’s a hell of a lot easier than having actual talent.

I guess in their defense, it’s only fitting for a junk food company to sponsor and girl who has a junk food addiction and a body that has been affected in a good way from a junk food diet, instead of sponsoring my wife on her sleep apnea oxygen tank, with her insulin needle in arm, sweating while clumps of her hair constantly fall out as she struggles to the bathroom to take a disgusting shit I’ll be forced to clean off the fucking walls….

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian|Tits

2009

11

May

Kim Kardashian on TV Gets Called Fat of the Day

12 Comments »

Kim Kardashian was on some LA morning talk show to promote her bullshit workout DVD because she is fat and has no business telling girls how to maintain their bodies, unless of course this is all some corporate scam that McDonald’s in behind where they try to get people even more obese that they already are, but I doubt that is the case.

The highlight of the video is not seeing Kardashian doing her stupid commonly used exercises, but when the newscaster says that she doesn’t have an anorexic body and you see the pain in her eyes from the gentle dis.

Either way, watch it.

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian

2009

30

Apr

Kim Kardashian and Her Leotard of the Day

7 Comments »

Here are Kelly Osbourne and Kim Kardashian giving each other a hug the other day at some roller skating bullshit event because I guess they haven’t seen each other at the “all you can eat” buffet’s dessert spread since Kardashian decided to try to fool the world in making a workout DVD.

You see, to put things into perspective, I think I called Kelly Osbourne a Sea Pig a couple of weeks ago, so when you pit them up against each other, only to discover that Kelly Osbourne looks like Kim Kardashian can eat her and when Kelly Osborne invites you out somewhere to make her look skinny, you know your workout DVD is nothing more than a fucking joke.

That said, I still have a leotard fetish because I like clothing that touches tits and pussy at the same time like it ain’t a thing. I won’t let Kardashian change that, because even with all her lies, with all the flaws, with all the masculine features, she’s still a better catch than pretty much every girl I’ve slept with. So I can’t pretend to have standards…..

Keep it black Kim, this roller skating shit is like that Bow Wow movie.

Holly Madison and Her Shorts Were at the Same Event….and no one cared….because she was overshadowed by Kardashian….literally…I hate literally jokes…

Posted in:Ass|Kim Kardashian|Leotard

2009

30

Apr

Kim Kardashian’s Untouched Bikini Pictures of the Day

40 Comments »

Kim Kardashian had a scandal a month ago, that involved her pretty much being fully rebuilt for Complex magazine through photoshop because she is fat and ugly and they were trying to sort that out for her so that instead of turning off their regular readers and luring in people down with fat trannies, they’ll just help keep her lie alive.

So in efforts to trick us, she’s done an unedited photoshoot with Instyle, while maybe shit’s not as edited as Complex, I know she’s more doughy than this, but I guess that won’t sell her bullshit work out DVD to anyone who isn’t a black dude or white dude pretending to be hip hop who dig fat chicks….

I love the highest heels imaginable to give the optical illusion that she’s not a thick and stalky piece of shit. We’re onto you Kim Kardashian. We know you are swine flu.

Posted in:Bikini|Kim Kardashian|Untouched

2009

28

Apr

Kim Kardashian and Her Tits of the Day

6 Comments »

Kim Kardashian was on The View pretending she knows how to work out. It was funny hearing her panting out of breath doing some really low impact shit wearing heels, like a typical short legged fat girl trying to come across sexy, delusional about what’s really going on in her pants.

I know a lot of you think she’s the dreamgirl, while I just think she’s Jennifer Hudson, so I’ll post it anyway. The only thing that woulda made this video hot would be if Whoopi was talking about her ass, but I guess it was her day off. Enjoy.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Tits

2009

27

Apr

Kim Kardashian is Turning Black of the Day

13 Comments »

Someone give this bitch a bucket of fried chicken and a watermelon. We get it bitch. You are into black dudes. They love your fat ass. You love their dicks. It doesn’t mean you have to turn yourself into Beyonce. You’re an annoying Christian half white half arab rich girl, you don’t need to take things to the fuckin’ project, just because you’re marrying a black guy. You can’t fool us you fucking try hard. I was at a black club this weekend and seeing all these white girls who are dating black dudes try to shake their asses like a real black girl was a fucking joke. Seeing them thunder-clap and throw their fists up like they were in the black panthers listenting to some Soca song was a bigger fucking joke.

Know your place and just keep showing off them big tits.

Posted in:Black|Kim Kardashian