Kim Kardashian Archives - Page 39 of 40 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

12

Sep

I am – Kim Kardashian and Jenna Jameson Do the Heatherette Show of the Day

I never understood Heatherette, they are some kind of drugged up club kid tranny shit that all these celebrity bitches fell in love with and bought into and now they are making more money than anyone you know being all drugged up tranny club kid outrageousness. Either way, Kim Kardashian and Jenna Jameson were some of the “stars” and I used that term loosely, more loose than both of their porned up twats, who modeled for their fashion show.

I fucking hate porn bitches but I guess there’s something nice about seeing a successful mainstream pornstar and an unsuccessful amateur pornstar hanging out. It’s like seeing the Big Brothers of America teaching some homeless poor kid how to play baseball. I know they are both sluts and that they both put out for money like the street trash drug addicts I used to pay to fuck and they let the people doing them film them like it’s not a big deal which is amazing because trying to convince girls over the years to let me bust out my polaroid never really worked out for me. The best I got was a picture of one of them sleeping with part of her tit hanging out, but I even got busted for that and she destroyed it. So as I suck at life, these girls who seemingly suck at life too, also suck dick on camera and hang out at fashion shows together.

I can only assume that Jenna got casted in the part because bitch looks like a fucking tranny, and apparently Heatherette is into trannies. I love how fucking serious she’s taking this gig like it’s a fucking academy award performance or her first big break onto the fashion model scene because no matter what she does or how she does it, I will always know that she’s nothing but a broken down girl with daddy issues, who used her cunt to get ahead…a cunt that looks like she may soon be turning into a cock. Porn Bitches are trash. I’d rather see everyday girls get fucked any day. That’s the end of that.

Related Posts:

Kim Kardashian Bikini Pictures
Kim Kardashian Pussy Preview Video
More Kim Kardashian Sex Tape Preview VIdeos
Jenna Jameson is the Living Dead

2007

20

Jul

I am – Kristin Davis and Kim Kardashian together of the Day

4 Comments »

Kim Kardishian

Back in Community College upstate, I roomed with a girl with 1.5 legs, we’ll call her Melanie. I am pretty sure she was a closet lesbian because she would stroke me a lot or have a friend spend the night but want to share my bed instead of sharing hers with her friend. She was dating guys off the internet. They were all closet freaks with a prosthesis fetish or something. Since she was a community theater regular, she hooked up with this ‘playwright.’ She paid for dinner (he forgot his wallet) and he asked to ‘borrow’ some sheets of computer paper so he could print his play for her. While she was gimping around collecting it, he starts ranting about his play where the actors fuck onstage. I said ‘oh, like live porn,’ and he said ‘no, it’s raw art.’ Then he gets all hopped up talking about how he will have to play the guy because he is bold and edgey like that, and he is looking for an intense girl, a girl indie and serious enough to have sex onstage. Rehearsals will start soon… He kept repeating the last part, and staring at my tits. Either he was retarded or bipolar. I asked him if it was a paying role. He said no.

I would like to tell you I wouldn’t have nailed this twat in front of his 4 friends for cash, but that would be a lie, and I’m no liar. And Melanie never heard from him again after he ran off with all her paper.

Kim Kardashian has had sex for money in front of people (via video), so I bet she would have nailed this playwright anyway for kicks, or for money if she wasn’t so rich. And Kristin Davis’ career, despite the upcoming ‘Sex and the City’ movie, has been in the tank. I am guessing Davis being seen with Kardashian means she is 5 minutes from a 40 year old sex tape, or she is just inquiring about advice. Pure speculation. Maybe they are planning one together? That’s something I don’t want to see (mostly because Kardashian’s ass-implants scare me).

Obediently yours,

Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE

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Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Kristen Davis|Unsorted

2007

16

Jul

I am – Kim Kardashian Bikini Pictures of the Day

6 Comments »

Kim Kardishian Bikini

What’s up motherfuckers. I am not sure if you remember me. I am that asshole who abandoned you on the internet last week only to get some friends and family to post more content than I ever could, with more skill and style than I ever had. I guess what I did was throw some shit down to make you realize you don’t need me in an attempt to self-destruct the website so that I can spend my life on cruises that my wife wins at the grocery store because bitch is fat.

So far what I have realized on my trip is that I don’t have enough money to travel the way I want to travel. I don’t have any patience for flying and the whole fucking time I am in the air I think the fucking thing is going to drop out of the sky. I am not into places where people don’t speak english because it makes ordering a fucking drink pretty fucking impossible. I do like bikinis and all the hookers that are being thrown my way, not because I can even afford to bang one, or get hard for them and that is like putting a fat bitch in a buffet line where all the food is glued down to the table, but sex trade always makes me happy.

I feel pretty uninspired. Vacations make me stupid, I haven’t written a thing and feel rusty, just not as rusty as Kardashian’s ass after some black hip hop dude stuffs her like a Jamaican Patty without a condom on but I am never too uninspired to look at Kardashian tits in a bikini. This Armenian fashion accessory even haunts me when I am trying to get away from all this bullshit because her big tits distract me from the rest of her uselessness and as I have learned this week, good tits are good enough for me to overlook an ugly bitch….

Point of this post is to say that Internet on a cruise costs money and no matter how good this post coulda been, it’s never going to get there because I am on a budget… Now back to my stepdaughter Marie Eve, who is doing a great job. Cuddles.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com
On Vacation…

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I am â€“ Kim Kardishian is Kinda Famous of the Day
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I am â€“ Eva Longoria Bikini Ass of the Day
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Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Kim Kardashian|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

12

Jul

I am – Kim Kardishian is Kinda Famous of the Day

2 Comments »

Kim Kardishian @ Mercedes Fashion Week.

So it looks like fatass is gone, and it’s just me and the four of you losers until he gets back, lucky me. Thanks for the emails you guys have been sending, its good to know you’re reading. Of course I know it’s just cause you’re all still virgins, and think maybe scoring with an 18 year old will be easy.

Here’s Kim Kardishian, doing what shes does best, which is nothing. Every highschool has a girl like Kim. Drop dead gorgeous but living in the shadow of her manipulitive, popular-for-no-reason best friend (yes, thats you Paris!), who she is also prettier then. She’s forced to follow her friend around, maybe carry her books to class, get the seconds of guys that her friend didn’t want andother stuff like that. But hey at least she’s popular kinda right? She gets to sit at the cool table in the cafeteria!!!

My art teacher is pretty cool and when I told him I was helping Jesus run the blog while he was gone, he told me this quote by Andy Warhol, something about how in the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes. I started thinking about that when I walked home that day and it kind of stuck with me. What kind of a crazy world are we living where merely being friends with somebody famous can make you a star too? Then I realized it’s just like highschool. You run around to be seen with the right crowd, you have wear the right clothes or everyone hates you, and the girls that are sluts get the most attention. So Hollywood is just like Highschool, though I think Hollywood may have better food.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Sluts|Socialites|Unsorted

2007

26

Jun

I am – Kim Kardashian’s Armenian Ass of the Day

4 Comments »

I don’t know when these pictures were taken but they are new to me. What isn’t new to me is how obscene this bitch Kim Kardashian’s ass is. I saw the sex tape, I have seen other pictures out there showing off this massive thing and I know that I don’t like it at all. I know that every hip hop motherfucker out there loves this kind of shit. I have seen many youtube videos of fat asses being shook. I have seen strippers with booty do things I never thought asses could do and I never really fell for it. All I could think about was how many buckets of friend chicken bitch had to eat to make this shit happen. It always represented some nature channel shit to me, like the baboon with the biggest reddest cunt gets noticed by the alpha males, and I guess that never really got me off. What I do know is that Paris Hilton probably could have stuck out her friendship with this Armenian Fashion Accessory because she could hid from the cops between her freakishly big ass cheeks. See I can make bad blog jokes too.

I think the reason I never liked fat ass, even though I married a fat chick, was because I could never get my little penis around the goods and into the right places, it created some kind of barrier that kept people like me out, the reason it worked with my wife was because her ass had no personality, it kind just hung there like a wet towel hanging to dry and was easily moved to the side. It’s a skill I am glad I don’t need to use again.

Either way, today’s not working so well for me, but you can still look at bitches ass and say she should be spending some of Daddy’s inheritance on a personal trainer because one day soon that fucker is going to drop and even though I think she’s fucking dumpy right now, everyone else will too soon and no black dude or white guy trying to be black is going to want to film sex tapes with her anymore and that is pretty much considered failure where this bitch is from…

Posted in:Ass|Booty|Kim Kardashian|Unsorted

2007

26

Jun

I am – Kim Kardashian's Armenian Ass of the Day

4 Comments »

I don’t know when these pictures were taken but they are new to me. What isn’t new to me is how obscene this bitch Kim Kardashian’s ass is. I saw the sex tape, I have seen other pictures out there showing off this massive thing and I know that I don’t like it at all. I know that every hip hop motherfucker out there loves this kind of shit. I have seen many youtube videos of fat asses being shook. I have seen strippers with booty do things I never thought asses could do and I never really fell for it. All I could think about was how many buckets of friend chicken bitch had to eat to make this shit happen. It always represented some nature channel shit to me, like the baboon with the biggest reddest cunt gets noticed by the alpha males, and I guess that never really got me off. What I do know is that Paris Hilton probably could have stuck out her friendship with this Armenian Fashion Accessory because she could hid from the cops between her freakishly big ass cheeks. See I can make bad blog jokes too.

I think the reason I never liked fat ass, even though I married a fat chick, was because I could never get my little penis around the goods and into the right places, it created some kind of barrier that kept people like me out, the reason it worked with my wife was because her ass had no personality, it kind just hung there like a wet towel hanging to dry and was easily moved to the side. It’s a skill I am glad I don’t need to use again.

Either way, today’s not working so well for me, but you can still look at bitches ass and say she should be spending some of Daddy’s inheritance on a personal trainer because one day soon that fucker is going to drop and even though I think she’s fucking dumpy right now, everyone else will too soon and no black dude or white guy trying to be black is going to want to film sex tapes with her anymore and that is pretty much considered failure where this bitch is from…

Posted in:Ass|Booty|Kim Kardashian|Unsorted

2007

19

Jun

I am – Kim Kardashian Parties at Marquee of the Day

2 Comments »

If you were sitting at home last night wondering where Kim Kardashian was out partying last night, you have serious fucking issues. Unfortunately, I know where she was partying last night because I guess I have serious fucking issues. It would seem like I actually care about this Armenian fashion accessory who is trying to make it on her own by breaking free from her criminal mentor while she is in Jail to develop her own career as a useless slut, but at least she’s doing it with tits. But I don’t. Having the best site on the internet that no one reads means I get shit emailed to me.

I am not sure who she’s out with, but it looks like her sister, or maybe bitch is like Sadam and has a group of 10 look-a-likes so that she can be in 11 places at the same time, and they are just meeting up not to exchange notes on where the stand in Kardashian’s gotta go. I am bad when it comes to ethnic people, I am not talking black or white or hispanic, I am talking middle eastern and asian, motherfuckers all look the fucking same.

We have all seen Kardashian get fucked, now we can see her text message friends which is eventually going to become the new porno because everytime I go out that seems to be what everyone in the place is doing. It’s like there was a time when girls would dance, and get drunk and talk to you, but now there are just groups of people at tables text messaging people who aren’t there making the party feel like a gamers convention at the 24 hour internet cafe. I predict that Girls Gone Wild 2010 is going to be a whole lot of naughty text messaging parties and instead of watching girls flash their tits to the camera, they’ll flash their text messages so that we can read all the sexy drunk talk that’s going down.

I am not even going to talk about her fat arms, because I am fat, and who really fucking cares if she has fat arms other than her. I know that her thickness wouldn’t stop you from slammin her, and by slammin I mean jerkin off to her sex tape because you like nature channel shit with haggard tranny pornstar lookin’ chicks in them.

Pictures Via thecobrasnake

2007

18

Jun

I am – Kim Kardashian’s Big Breast Weekend of the Day

1 Comment »

I like tits. I was never one of those guys who was addicted to tits though. I wouldn’t compromise my integrity by slamming a fat girl with big fat tits, but I would compromise my integrity by sleeping with crack addicted prostitutes who were missing teeth and smelled like shit for cheap…at least they weren’t fat.

But as I get older and as my wife gets fatter and fatter, I can appreciate a full figured slut just like you and even though I’ve seen her have monkey sex like watching the nature channel, and even though she lets black dudes piss on her, which is a black fetish because I’ve never got off to that shit, but it seems like all the black celebrity sex tapes include pissing, we could still fit 2 of her into a pair of my wife’s pants.

I was sitting outside with my wife yesterday and some chubby chick wearing some summer tit exposing dress and I couldn’t figure out if her tits were real. My wife was trying to talk about our relationship or some shit I was ignoring and just kept staring and trying to figure shit out like a scientist trying to find the cure to cancer. When my wife hit me and asked me what I was looking at but was too lazy to turn her fat head, I just said “that girls tits”. She got all offended and felt like I didn’t find her sexy anymore, and I had to tell her that I never found her sexy. It was a great father’s day moment….

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Tits|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

18

Jun

I am – Kim Kardashian's Big Breast Weekend of the Day

No Comments »

I like tits. I was never one of those guys who was addicted to tits though. I wouldn’t compromise my integrity by slamming a fat girl with big fat tits, but I would compromise my integrity by sleeping with crack addicted prostitutes who were missing teeth and smelled like shit for cheap…at least they weren’t fat.

But as I get older and as my wife gets fatter and fatter, I can appreciate a full figured slut just like you and even though I’ve seen her have monkey sex like watching the nature channel, and even though she lets black dudes piss on her, which is a black fetish because I’ve never got off to that shit, but it seems like all the black celebrity sex tapes include pissing, we could still fit 2 of her into a pair of my wife’s pants.

I was sitting outside with my wife yesterday and some chubby chick wearing some summer tit exposing dress and I couldn’t figure out if her tits were real. My wife was trying to talk about our relationship or some shit I was ignoring and just kept staring and trying to figure shit out like a scientist trying to find the cure to cancer. When my wife hit me and asked me what I was looking at but was too lazy to turn her fat head, I just said “that girls tits”. She got all offended and felt like I didn’t find her sexy anymore, and I had to tell her that I never found her sexy. It was a great father’s day moment….

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Tits|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

17

May

I am – Kim Kardashian’s Big Ol’ Tits of the Day

114 Comments »

So now that I’ve seen her tits getting assaulted by some dude in her sex tape, I have no real interest in them. It’s that whole theory that if you don’t give a man sex he’ll keep coming back to you until you do and if you give it out on the first night dude will have got what he wants, will never respect you and date you and will lose most interest in you, until he wants to have sex again….There’s an expression that mother’s tell there daughters that sums it up a lot better than what I said, but it’s not coming to me…

Speaking of coming and useless people in useless videos, here are 2 more emails from that GGW girl, who doesn’t like what I wrote about her on the site. This is what she said:

From: Jannel Szyszka
Subject:
Re:
Date: May 16, 2007 9:40:47 PM EDT (CA)
To: info@drunkenstepfather.com

im not kidding .. u heard all wrong on that ggw shit … u best delete that
or i am really goin to sue u .. kk cuddles

From: Jannel Szyszka
Subject:
Re:
Date: May 16, 2007 9:41:58 PM EDT (CA)
To: info@drunkenstepfather.com

im goin to sue YOU for declamation of character …

This was my response:

Jannel,

Thanks for reaching out to me. For the record, what I posted was emailed to me – I quoted it. Nothing I did was illegal. The pictures posted aren’t owned by you. So I don’t think there is any case and there is no such thing as declamation of character, but I know what you were trying to say (defamation).

If you want to write a formal statement with your story, I’ll post it, but until you have a better case, the story is staying up.

In all honesty, you should take the free publicity, I know you’re into getting money for your publicity stunts by issuing lawsuits to asshole video producers who took advantage of you when you got drunk and who made you regret your actions the day you saw it in the DVD, but that’s really not my problem and I haven’t even seen you naked yet or made money of your story, so you’re kinda being unfair here.

Let me know what you’re thinking because I care about you.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

I guess law isn’t her strongest subject in school…To see the first email I got from her click THIS LINK