Model Archives - Page 7 of 9 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

05

Oct

I am – Petra Nemcova Hail’s a Cab of the Day

I like going to Starbucks and positioning my shitty lap top so everyone around me can see what I am doing on my computer. Then I look for some seriously fucked up porn clips, pull out a notebook and notes on the shit like I am Siskel and Ebert, before Siskel died.

I usually do it during the day when the only people in the place are old ladies, new mothers and ready to drop knocked up bitches bored on maternity leave. They are my audience, I figure those sluts know this shit better than most, but that’s just because they’re packin the proof with their old age and post-pregnancy weight.

I’ve been kicked out a few times for being inappropriate, but for the most part people just look the other way in disgust and don’t bother complaining. I don’t know why I get a kick out of it, I guess I just like being around people who are of a normal weight and this is the best way to make new friends without actually having to put myself out there and introduce myself. Reality is, that strategy doesn’t work out so well.

Speaking of not working out so well, here are some pictures of Petra Nemcova communing with regular people by taking a taxi like she couldn’t afford her own driver, but is easily impressed because she’s from communism and in communist Russia, getting a ride on your neighbor’s son’s back was considered luxury.

Related Posts:

Petra Nemcova Upskirt is Better than Rationed Bread and Rationed Bread is Awesome
Petra Nemcova’s Got Some Topless Tits
Petra Nemcova’s Got Some Hot Tits Gettin Out of a Cab
Petra Nemcova Hearts Turbans

Posted in:Hot|Model|Petra Nemcova|Taxi|Unsorted

2007

05

Oct

I am – Petra Nemcova Hail's a Cab of the Day

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I like going to Starbucks and positioning my shitty lap top so everyone around me can see what I am doing on my computer. Then I look for some seriously fucked up porn clips, pull out a notebook and notes on the shit like I am Siskel and Ebert, before Siskel died.

I usually do it during the day when the only people in the place are old ladies, new mothers and ready to drop knocked up bitches bored on maternity leave. They are my audience, I figure those sluts know this shit better than most, but that’s just because they’re packin the proof with their old age and post-pregnancy weight.

I’ve been kicked out a few times for being inappropriate, but for the most part people just look the other way in disgust and don’t bother complaining. I don’t know why I get a kick out of it, I guess I just like being around people who are of a normal weight and this is the best way to make new friends without actually having to put myself out there and introduce myself. Reality is, that strategy doesn’t work out so well.

Speaking of not working out so well, here are some pictures of Petra Nemcova communing with regular people by taking a taxi like she couldn’t afford her own driver, but is easily impressed because she’s from communism and in communist Russia, getting a ride on your neighbor’s son’s back was considered luxury.

Related Posts:

Petra Nemcova Upskirt is Better than Rationed Bread and Rationed Bread is Awesome
Petra Nemcova’s Got Some Topless Tits
Petra Nemcova’s Got Some Hot Tits Gettin Out of a Cab
Petra Nemcova Hearts Turbans

Posted in:Hot|Model|Petra Nemcova|Taxi|Unsorted

2007

25

Sep

I am – Kate Moss Getting Out of Cars With Boys of the Day

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I shoulda married a model. When I look at my wife I always feel like I sold myself short. Then I look at myself in the mirror and realize that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, but if I was to live this life differently, I’d be that dude who bangs models because I think models may not be the hottest bitches out there, but they think they are and that’s makes cumming on their faces way more fun.

Kate Moss is hot, she’s a bit of a wreck, she’s getting older, she has a British Grill, looks a little haggard, she’s spent the last 10 years with lots of money in the bank and little to do with it other than have meaningless relationships, cocaine and going to clubs getting drunk. Models are pretty much retired by 30 and tall skinny party sluts that act a little more glamorous than the whores you see at the bars, because they work in the fashion industry, and the fashion industry is so fucking luxurious….but a party slut is a party slut no matter what and all party sluts take it in the ass this good life isn’t as good as knowing that Kate Moss takes in the ass.

The other good news for me is that it’s never too late to make changes, guys age well and like the drug dealer I saw the other night in his mid-50s with 8 hot model looking girls on his arm, while hustling every girl who walked by him, hot chicks are dumb enough to be bought.

So my goal is to find a way to turn this site into a Perez Hilton type site, end up on TV everywhere and use all that 5 minutes of undeserved fame to bed as many models as I can with my limp useless dick that I will use Viagra to revive, but unfortunately Viagra won’t make it look less like an oversized clit…but who cares, my fame will distract bitches from my big clit/little dick and don’t worry, I know this is all fantasy, the closest thing I’ll ever have to fame is being recognized at the local convenience store.

Related Posts:

Kate Moss Topless on a Boat
Kate Moss in a Bathing Suit Type Thing…
Kate Moss Hot in Agent Provocateur Before They Fired Her and Hired that Fatty Maggie GylenI-I don’t know how to spell their retarded names
Kate Moss Topless in Thailand

Posted in:Hot|Kate Moss|Model|Skinny|Unsorted

2007

19

Sep

I am – Petra Nemcova Upskirt Pictures of the Day

1 Comment »

I saw these pictures last night but was too lazy to post them. I was all about doing it in the morning when I woke up, unfortunately the morning became 2 pm and then after folding laundry and doing dishes I finally get to them. The reason I am folding laundry and doing dishes isn’t because I am the bitch of the household. It’s not because I am neat. I do it out of necessity because shit fucking smells really fucking bad and I can stomach bad smells for a couple of weeks but when they turn really fucking bad I start to think my life is in danger, and despite being aware of my sucking at life, I still like to live it or drive it into the ground. Being poisoned by my wife’s panty stains isn’t really how I want to go. However, being poisoned by Petra Nemcova’s panties is a definite better option and I know that shit is deadly cuz that serial player to the stars Stavros got a piece.

Sometimes I wonder how many dudes some of these girls have bagged. I remember being 20 years old and meeting a 20 year old girl who had banged 30 dudes and I was kinda shocked and grossed out because she wasn’t a hooker and most girls I knew had only been with 10 or less because they were just starting out. She was the first regular girl and I got skeptical about cumming inside without a condom, but figured she’d know what to do if she got knocked up because she had experience in the situation, like hiring an ex cop to find out if your wife is cheating on you, not that I would do that, if my wife was cheating on me, I’d buy the dude a drink and thank him for taking her off my hands, figuratively of course, because if she was on my hands literally, I wouldn’t be able to type this shit because all my finger’s be broke.

Here are the upskirts for you. Asshole.

Related Posts:

Petra Nemcova Body Painted Tits Pictures
Petra Nemcova’s Hot Tits Pictures
Petra Nemcova Loves Turbans
Petra Nemcova’s Bikini Pictures With James Blunt cuz He Keeps Telling Me I am Beautiful

2007

30

Aug

I am – Elizabeth Hurley in Some Photoshoot of the Day

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Elizabeth Hurley

These pics of Liz Hurley are from some fashion shoot which may or not be new, and I don’t know enough about fashion to be able to tell or not, and in the end neither do you. What I do know is that when you get as little action as you do, hot women are hot women, and as much as you would like to hold out for that blonde bikini model who lives up the street from you, we both know thats not going to happen, ever, and it makes more sense to beat off to these photos, old or not.

I’ve always liked Elizabeth Hurley because when you here her formal British accent everyone automatically pictures her sitting at home in a formal floral dress, drinking Earl Grey Tea with her pinky in the air. Truth be told, she’s actually from a pretty shitty neighborhood in Britain and had it pretty rough growing up. She’s filthy rich now, especially since marrying that Hindu rich guy. So I guess on some days she probably does sit at home in a floral dress, drinking Earl GreyTea with her pinky in the air, or she just gets naked and rolls around in all her money. I prefer to think of the latter.

hugs and kisses
Marie-eve Martinez

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Elizabeth Hurley’s Shitty Nip Slip of the Day
Elizabeth Hurley Showin Off Tit of the Day
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Posted in:Elizabeth Hurley|Model|Tits|Unsorted

2007

30

Aug

I am – Elle Macpherson Pure Hotness of the Day

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Elle MacPherson

I was the bar last night and saw a bitchin’ cat fight on the street as I was stumbling home with the random I met who’s name I can’t remember right now. I was pretty drunk, and was paying more attention to the hand up my skirt then the words being spat back and forth as fists were flying and high heels were being removed for weapons purposes. Therefore I have no idea what the fight was about. I’m guessing something really stupid tho, because normal, sensible grown women don’t fist fight on crowded rainy streets at 3am.

I think it’s funny how women hate other women for no other reason then the fact that they are women. Feminists will go and and on about how men purposely turn us against each other in a way to keep us more pre-occupied in our problems with each other versus the problems in regards to how women are treated in this world. It makes sense in some ways, but it always forgets the most important fact which is that women are catty bitches who more often then not need to step down off thier high horses, cut the jealousy, and as I always like to say, get the sand out of their vaginas. I’d like to see that in the next piece of feminists literature some hippy chick that doesn’t shave her legs hands to me.

The reason most women hate women like Elle Macpherson however, is that they are bored house wives with fat asses who spend way to much of their husbands money on make-up and Oil of Olay in hopes to make themselves attractive. Elle Macpherson on the otherhand jet sets around the world being naturally thin with no make-up, unbrushed hair and giving guys around the world everywhere boners that rip their pants.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

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Elle MacPherson Surfing of the Day
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Posted in:Elle Macpherson|Hot|Model|Unsorted

2007

27

Aug

I am – Elle Macpherson Surfing of the Day

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It seems like surfing is the new thing for middle-aged celebrities to learn. I am going to admit that I have always wanted to be a surfer because they get all the bitches and are living the dream, unfortunately I don’t know how to swim, I am drunk too often, and I am too fat for any surfboard to support my weight – but I still like to believe that one day I’ll be living the dream….

Here are some pictures of a SLAMMIN’ Elle Macpherson in a bikini that someone sent in to me. She was one of the original bikini models who opened my eyes to bikini models and I remember spending endless nights curled up to my Sports Illustrated 1988 or 89 video where here nipples were exposed numerous times…..

I came across this story I wrote a while ago and figured I’d post it because I don’t think I have yet and since it’s a true story, you need to read it….

I knew this gay kid who was from a gay family. He had a brother and he had a father and he never really spoke of his mother, but it is safe to say that she is either dead or fucked off on them. They grew up in a good part of town and they had a nice house and a good female influence in the shape of a 250 pound aunt who was the biggest leather wearing dyke in the county. His dad was a fag, his brother was a fag and he was a fag but he was in the closet, his dad was in the closet and his brother was in the closet. They were all in the fucking closet for fear of being judged, disowned or whatever because the dad played the front of the homophobe while doing dudes in his spare time.

The family had an unfortunate experience of finding out that each other were into the cock when they all accidentally ended up at the Gay Sauna on the same night and one brother happened to be on the receiving end of the Glory hole and another brother ended up on the left side glory hole and his dad ended up on the right side of the glory hole and dude ended up servicing each of them to completion unknowingly until the meet at greet in the hot tub where the dad decided that it was time for a sit down and talk about him being a faggot and the faggot way of life.

So the point of the story is that the gay kid I knew sucked off his dad and his brother in one sitting, one night, a series of unfortunate events and that story is more fucked up that these pictures of Elle Macpherson could turn any man straight…..

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Elle Macpherson is Insane
Elle Macpherson and her STD
Jennifer Garner Paddle Surfing
Courtney Cox Surfing

2007

24

Aug

I am – Alena Seredova is 6 Month Pregnant Model on the Runway of the Day

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Here are some pictures of model Alena Seredova modeling her underwear collection 6 months pregnant and full of milk. She is a Czech model and Czech girls are known for being pornstars so this bitch proves us right by showing us how fertile she is when dude dropped load in her 6 months ago…so off….

I remember one night when I was stuck in the rain and a car pulled up next to me and this Eastern European family offered me a lift. I thought it was fucking weird but I got in anyway because I was drunk and I wasn’t in the mood to get yet. The problem with not washing your clothes is that getting them wet brings out all the smells I tried so hard to cover-up.

Either way, the people seemed harmless,that was until I was sitting in the van and noticed they had about 5 kids in there all cramped in and the creepy glazed over eyes of the wife made me realize I was in over my head. The music started going and it was some freaky bible shit that they were all singing along to and that’s when I tried to get the fuck out of the car but they had used to child locks and I was locked in. They drove the complete opposite direction from where they said they would take me and at first I was trying to be polite about the whole thing and believed the asshole when he said he was lost. Then I started thinking that these psycho Christians wanted to either save me by kidnapping me and taking my drunken ass to their compound or they were going to eliminate me because I represented what they hated in the world or what Jesus hated in the world. I don’t know how I got out of the whole mess, I think I may have conspired with one of the girls who turned out was not even their kid but was someone they picked up too but I don’t really remember, because I don’t even know if this shit happened to me or if it was just a dream I had while wasted 10 years ago that I took for truth…But I survived…

Much like Alena Seredova’s baby will survive, not because she didn’t get an abortion but because she’s broken from the communist regime, has made money and will be able to feed it more than rationed meat and potatoes…and because she didn’t get an abortion…I don’t know what I am saying just click the fucking pictures asshole…

.

Related Posts:

Alena Seredova Getting Knocked Up on the Topless Beach
I am – Eva Herzigova Eastern European Upskirt
Petra Nemcova Makes Hearts With People in Turbans
Petra Nemcova and James Blunt Swim Together

2007

06

Aug

I am – Eva Herzigova Upskirt of the Day

2 Comments »

Eva Herzigova

I have this sorta-friend I met while drunk at a bar, who’s also a party-slut. I texted her to see if she wanted to get drunk and felt up. She said yes. I call her SallyYuki because she is Japanese and I can barely understand what she says, and she doesn’t mind that i can’t pronounce whatever her name is. We get picked up by three Romanians who are fairly hot and most importantly, ready and willing to shower us with top-shelf liquor.

We tell them we want to move to a club (aka grind and make-out), so we all hop into their beamer and head to some place I can’t fucking remember, but it cost $20 to get in, and they paid. While SallyYuki was occupied with Romanian #1, I was busy sandwiching with Romanians #2 and #3. At one point #2 and #3 hoisted me up onto the DJ’s stage, where I shook it and whipped off my shirt until security escorted me down. Later, while #2 was getting more drinks, I let #3 slither his fingers down my pants and into my soft slit. The next thing I know, SallyYuki taps me on my shoulder and is waving her arms in the air, screaming in Japanese, then storms off in some bizarre spaztic fit of rage. Whatever.

We dance and I divide my time between #2 and #3 till closing. I ask if they can give me a ride home. They oblige. As we’re waiting for the car, the 3 Romanians make a proposition: a foursome. Now I wouldn’t do that shit as a hooker, and I am not about to break my old hooker standards. I did a three-some once (two guys and me) under pressure from my pimp, and I didn’t like it: too much of a balancing act and the guys didn’t realize how homo-erotic it was for them, which is pretty fucking funny. I said no thanks on the foursome, but I WILL blow them all in the beamer on my way home. They were like kids on Christmas day. So about every other block, they stop the car and play musical chairs, only there are no chairs, just me deep-throating various Romanian cocks. In the end, they got a free ride, and so did I. Hurray.

Here is Eva Herzigova at the opening of Chopard’s store (yeah who the fuck knows, sounds expensive). She is Czech, which is pretty close to Romania in my geographically challenged mind. Eva is giving you a free peak up her dress and plenty of cleavage. I wonder if she had to sucks any cocks to get where she is today? I feel like it’s a right of passage in the modeling, acting, and general slut industry. Now go let on fly and pretend it’s shooting up her cooch.Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE

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Posted in:cleavage|Eva Herzigova|Model|Unsorted|Upskirt

2007

31

Jul

I am – Sophie Anderton at Some Fashion Show of the Day

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Sophie Anderton

Iâ€™ve been trying to figure out to do in regards to this guy I have been dating on and off for the last little while. Heâ€™s alright and I like him, but I tend to get cold feet around the 2-3 month mark, because I like to have the option to just go fuck who ever I want to, when I want to (cause Iâ€™m a bit of a whore like that) and most guys just donâ€™t understand that. They usually pretend like they are fine with it for the first little while, then all the sudden we have to start “talking” about things and the “future”. My future goes as far as what am I going to eat for dinner, and am I going to the bar tonight?

He also developed this annoying fucking habit of calling me all these cutesy names which I guess are some sort of terms of affection, but I donâ€™t stay in relationships long enough to usually experience this type of shit.

This guy I know, a good friend and a self confirmed life-long bachelor, is telling me to get the fuck out and get the fuck out NOW. Unfortunately, this isnâ€™t as easy as my one night stands, where I can just climb out the fire escape to freedom and never look back, my hair blowing in the wind. I made the mistake of not only giving him my phone number, but showing him where I live. Fuck.

Hereâ€™s Sophie Anderton. She understands where Iâ€™m coming from.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez