One Piece Archives - Page 2 of 2 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2009

19

May

Paris Hilton is Not Cute in Her Bathing Suit of the Day

There comes a time when a girl turns 28 and it is no longer cute or interesting to see her talk like a baby, pout her lips or try to pose all cute, like a little fuckin’ girl, if anything it is just fucking creepy.

There also comes a time when a girl turns 28, when it is our duty as the public to stop giving her anymore fucking attention because she has tricked us into giving her far too much over the years.

Paris Hilton is still a useless cunt, she’s just older now, and our only hope is that her plane home from Cannes crashing and she survives so that she spends the rest of her days suffering until she ends it all one night when she just can’t take anymore.

Not that I wish pain on anyone, but in this case I think it is deserved from the pain she has caused a whole generation.

Posted in:One Piece|Paris Hilton|Ugly

2009

18

May

Eva Herzigova in a One-Piece of the Day

5 Comments »

The one-piece has always been a favorite article of clothing for me, mainly because I have a soft spot for a piece of clothing that forces a girl to get completely naked everytime she has to take a pee. There’s no pullin the crotch to the side, because of the potential mess, so the only real solution is full fuckin’ naked.

That comes in handy when spying on public bathrooms by the public pool.

So all you haters, who whine when you see a girl who would potentially look amazing in a bikini rock her one-piece. You lack foresight and creepiness. Your perversion is basic, one dimensional and doesn’t scratch the real surface. It takes a situation for what it is at face fuckin’ value, instead of making it work for you. Step up your fuckin’ game son.

Her name is Eva Herzigova and she’s eating food before modeling possibly the reason for her one-piece but it’s still hot to me….

Posted in:Eva Herzigova|One Piece

2009

29

Apr

Lindsay Lohan in her One-Piece Bathing Suit of the Day

6 Comments »

Lindsay Lohan is still in Hawaii and she’s keeping me on my toes. It’s like I don’t know what bathing suit she’s going to hit the beach with, it’s like will she wear the bikini, will she wear the one-piece, will she wear the microbikini, will she go topless, will she get caught skinny dipping, I just know she’s gonna be caught on camera as long as she’s there. I figure she likes it, because if she didn’t, she’d be vacationing in Southeast Asia, or somewhere removed where the people have no idea who she is, because despite this whole internet thing, I’m convinced there are places where there are no paparazzi, like in my shithole apartment, I mean if she’s lookin’ for a safe haven when she gets into Montreal this weekend, no one will think to look here.

On a side note, I’ve been getting email after email about how Lohan is going to be in Montreal. I am being asked if I am going to try to sneak into the event and get some exclusive content, because Lohan in Montreal is seemingly a huge deal. I’m not really planning on it, but she is in the same venue as my Paris Hilton hustle….

Check Out the Story Behind the Video at I am – Paris Does Montreal

So you never know what will happen, but assume nothing, because I hate crowds and I am lazy, have no hook-ups and don’t really care. But the event is going to be fucking nuts. Perez Hilton wrote about it and all the little girlies around town are out buying their Lohan dresses hoping to be her new pussy. It is all too weird to me. I think I’m going to go bowling instead.

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Hawaii|Lindsay Lohan|One Piece

2009

19

Feb

Pam Anderson’s Old Ass for Some Gay Club Kids of the Day

2 Comments »

I don’t know what it is with Pam Anderson, but she’s one of those girls that gay dudes seriously relate to. Maybe she’s a dirty fag hag, but I think it’s most likely got to do with the hope she brings them by being living proof that all you need is a lot of money for surgery to be an accepted sex symbol to straight men everywhere, that or because she brings all the coke to the party and free coke is the best kind of coke.

So when clubkid Richie Rich and his clothing line had their fashion show, I wasn’t surprised to see Pamela Anderson there, especially now that her ass hit menopause and is jacked with testosterone and slowly lookin like one you’d find on a tranny on estrogen therapy, seeing this bitch is like taking a human biology class and like I am just as confused as I was when I took it in the ninth grade because I don’t know if getting off to this makes me a faggot. Enjoy.

Tranny Amanda Lepore Showed Off Her Finally Better than Pam Anderson Body

Slut Aubrey O’Day Was There With No Pants On and Brought Her Playboy Cover So People Won’t Forget Her High Point….

Coco Kept the Whole Event Classy

Posted in:Ass|old|One Piece|Pam Anderson|Saggy

2008

12

Dec

Pam Anderson’s Thong One-Piece of the Day

6 Comments »

I thought today was Saturday and I didn’t realize that it was Friday, just like Pamela Anderson didn’t realize she’s in her fucking 40s before putting this one piece thong shit on for her creepy Magician friend, and look how that turned out for her…pretty fucking sloppy and since sloppy is what I do…and the real magic trick in all this is slowly watching the Pamela Anderson you all grew up making love to in your mind disappear….

Posted in:One Piece|Pam Anderson|Thong

2008

09

Dec

Helen Mirren One Piece Bathing Suit Seductress of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some pictures of Helen Mirren proving that the one piece bathing suits aren’t just for fat insecure 12 year old girls at the public pool, but also work out pretty nicely for menopausal, busty, older actresses. So I guess you’re never too old to cover up that sloppy body while still managing to turn me on. It could be my fever talking but I like to think it’s got more to do with those tits. What I would do to change that diaper….

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Helen Mirren|One Piece|Tits

2008

18

Aug

Isla Fisher’s One Piece Bathing Suit of the Day

10 Comments »

Looks like my site’s been hacked again. For some reason when people land on it they are re-directed to the Game Show Network corporate site. I don’t know what the fuck is going on but I do know that I blame some virgin with computer skills who got offended cuz i called his girlfriend a slut and by girlfriend i mean a celebrity he thinks he is dating because he watches all her DVDs over and over and has photoshopped himself in every paparazzi shot he can find of her and printed them up and put them in frames around his house.

I get really frustrated with the constant hacking, I get it, you don’t like me, you think I am offensive, I hurt your feelings and go against things you stand for and you think I deserve to be taught a lesson, but no lesson is taught, it just proves that you have better computer skills than me and it’s not going to put an end to what I do, what does put an end to what I do, is if you stop coming to the site and stop reading it, it’ll be like I don’t really exist anymore and that’s a lot cooler than your vigilante nerd shit that just causes minor headaches for my hosting company, and reminds me that the internet is still a place for fucking losers, like it was designed to be…..

What doesn’t cause headaches is Isla FIsher in a one-piece bathing suit doing gymnastics for Borat and their baby, because she knows as a new mother bouncing back into shape, it’s best to keep that stretch-marked mess of your stomach covered up….now if only she covered up that vagina when having unprotected sex with Borat, because the world didn’t need to be polluted with another Borat, there are enough of those assholes still bars and still quoting his movie when approaching girls like shit didn’t hit theaters 2 fuckin’ years ago…and to my amazement, girls still laugh at the shit and take off their panties for that shit and is just another reminder that I suck at life because I just can’t conform to that garbage.

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Isla Fisher|One Piece

2007

19

Jun

I am – Katie Holmes Bathing Suit Pictures of the Day

6 Comments »

I hate posting tagged images, but since I can’t find these anywhere and have no budget to buy the rights to use pictures and even if I did have the budget to buy the rights to use pictures I doubt I would pay because I think paparazzi are scummy pieces of shit who exploit people and I don’t support scummy pieces of shit who exploit people financially.

Either way, this is Katie Holmes on the beach somewhere with her daughter that she had with Tom Cruise. The whole scientology thing and his whole insanity thing doesn’t really bother me as much as the gay rumors. Living in Montreal, I’ve met many gay dudes over the years whether it be one of my friend’s wive’s hairdresser or just some random washed up fags in the places I drink who all have the same story about this fucker in the 90s. It goes a little something like this. Tom Cruise would fly into the city on a private jet, discreetly make his way to the gay village in the city and have sex with little french boys for days at a time. I have no real proof to back this shit up, because I wasn’t one of those little french gay boys and I don’t know anyone who directly stuffed this fucker like a turkey, but I do know that the story is always told the same by everyone who ever brings it up.

That said, here’s the vagina he had sex with at least once rockin’ a one piece because she knows that no one wants to see her post pregnancy ravaged stomach or the proof that there was no pregnancy at all, and that her 9 months were just a series of pregnant bitch costumes. They say she’s pregnant again but it doesn’t look like it in these pics. That’s pretty much all I have to say about that.

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