Sex Archives - Page 4 of 5 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2006

16

Feb

Kid Rock's Sex Tape

In typical white trash celebrity behavior, the Kid Rock Sex Tape has finally surfaced. I don’t mean that in a good way, because I have not been sitting here dick in hand waiting for the Kid Rock tapes, I just figured he was one of the low class rockstars who loves strippers, fake titties and fucks disgusting bitches. It was kinda made obvious when fucking Pam Anderson’s Hep Pussy.

I like strippers too, but only to look at, if I was in Kid Rock’s position, I wouldn’t invite the sluts back to my trailer, I’d invite the overwhelmed 18 year old who’s never done anything like this before, but sice she loves my music so much, she get a little while. I guess breaking girls in is a lot hotter to me than getting AIDS from the town whore of every town I go through.

I think that’s why porn bores me, I don’t want trashy sloppy thousands, most girls fuck the same, and I am not convinced that a stripper looking girl with 4 kids is any better than someone who’s vagina is still internal.

The lesson of the day is that the more money you have, the easier it is too land orgies with your loser buddy who is the lead singer of creed. HI-FIVE motherfucker, not only are you famous and rich, but the whole world’s gonna see your cooter.

IMPORTANT LINKS

Watch Trailer/ 45 Second Clip Here
Read Article Here(AVN)

Posted in:kid rock|Sex|Sex Tape|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

16

Feb

Kid Rock’s Sex Tape

3 Comments »

In typical white trash celebrity behavior, the Kid Rock Sex Tape has finally surfaced. I don’t mean that in a good way, because I have not been sitting here dick in hand waiting for the Kid Rock tapes, I just figured he was one of the low class rockstars who loves strippers, fake titties and fucks disgusting bitches. It was kinda made obvious when fucking Pam Anderson’s Hep Pussy.

I like strippers too, but only to look at, if I was in Kid Rock’s position, I wouldn’t invite the sluts back to my trailer, I’d invite the overwhelmed 18 year old who’s never done anything like this before, but sice she loves my music so much, she get a little while. I guess breaking girls in is a lot hotter to me than getting AIDS from the town whore of every town I go through.

I think that’s why porn bores me, I don’t want trashy sloppy thousands, most girls fuck the same, and I am not convinced that a stripper looking girl with 4 kids is any better than someone who’s vagina is still internal.

The lesson of the day is that the more money you have, the easier it is too land orgies with your loser buddy who is the lead singer of creed. HI-FIVE motherfucker, not only are you famous and rich, but the whole world’s gonna see your cooter.

IMPORTANT LINKS

Watch Trailer/ 45 Second Clip Here
Read Article Here(AVN)

Posted in:kid rock|Sex|Sex Tape|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

10

Feb

Post-Pregnancy: Britney Tit

1 Comment »

I have said it before, I like to repeat myself, because I never remember who I said it to. It could have been on this site, but my archives got fucked in the move, unlike me, I never get fucked, and when I do, it’s by something you wouldn’t want to get fucked by and it’s really not by choice, but that’s no the point of this story. Pregnancy is the worse STD a bitch can get, I know all you anti-abortion jesus lovers are thinking “pregnancy is beautiful, it’s what keeps our religion alive”. But I come from a different school of thought and that is that kids follow you around for life, they mooch off you and cost you money, you have no control as to whether they are going to be cute or not, they never respect you and most importantly, they destroy your body, there’s no full recovery. I’m talking nothing ever fully whips back into shape, not the assaulted cooter, not the milk-bag feeding sack titties, not the belly or the ass…it may look like it does sometimes, but that’s just smoke and mirrors. Now, look at Britney’s nipple, the fucker is bigger than my head. You can’t tell me this shit’s sexy, in two years from now, she’ll write a memoir and in it, it will say “I wish K-Fed only gave me herpes, not herpes and a baby, ya’ll”. That’s my fucking story.

Posted in:Boob|Britney Spears|Pregnancy|Sex|Unsorted

2006

08

Feb

Scary Sex Doll Of The Day

15 Comments »

Everyone’s got fetishe, but I have always been against this sex doll bullshit. It’s not because I am a fucking born again, or against fucking inanimate objects, shit last week I shoved my dick in the toaster, hoping I’d feel something. Unfortunately, I had no luck and I’ve been applying polysporin to my dick all week, the burns just won’t go away and I think it’s infected. Either way, if you look at the pics of the above sex doll, the bitch looks like a dead body I saw on CSI, only bald. Anyone who fucks this shit’s got serious issue, unless they are drunk, but the dude who baths her, and changes her panties/wigs is always a little more fucked up. I wonder what his mom thinks when he brings this shit to x-mas dinner. “Hey Mom, I want you to meet my wife…” You are a creepy motherfucker, use your hand like everyone else. I am drunk.

Posted in:funny|Sex|sex doll|Unsorted

2006

07

Feb

Evangeline Lilly’s Boyfriend’s Shirt

6 Comments »

I like british people, because they always stand out like a coldsore at beaches around the world. When I was a little younger, I worked as a janitor at a Club Med. I know it doesn’t sound that glamourous, but I figured if I am gonna be a janitor anywhere, it might as well be on a beach somewhere. I guess the benefit of the experience was that the single women thought the “Maintenance” crew were there to act out porno fantasies with them. You know, these crazy bitches with a little money, who run off with their kids on a family vacation, with hopes of giving a serious pooning to someone with brown skin. Anyway, I only did it for a season, but the point of this post is that British travellers on the beach don’t fit in. They are pastey and usually wearing a fuckin’ snowsuit as to not get a sun burn. Evangeline Lily’s boyfriend is no acception to the rule, even though he lives in Hawaii, motherfucker stills swims with his shirt on, unless it’s a way to cover up some deformity, like a third nipple, or no nipples, or anything that involves the nipple.

2006

07

Feb

Evangeline Lilly's Boyfriend's Shirt

No Comments »

I like british people, because they always stand out like a coldsore at beaches around the world. When I was a little younger, I worked as a janitor at a Club Med. I know it doesn’t sound that glamourous, but I figured if I am gonna be a janitor anywhere, it might as well be on a beach somewhere. I guess the benefit of the experience was that the single women thought the “Maintenance” crew were there to act out porno fantasies with them. You know, these crazy bitches with a little money, who run off with their kids on a family vacation, with hopes of giving a serious pooning to someone with brown skin. Anyway, I only did it for a season, but the point of this post is that British travellers on the beach don’t fit in. They are pastey and usually wearing a fuckin’ snowsuit as to not get a sun burn. Evangeline Lily’s boyfriend is no acception to the rule, even though he lives in Hawaii, motherfucker stills swims with his shirt on, unless it’s a way to cover up some deformity, like a third nipple, or no nipples, or anything that involves the nipple.

2006

01

Feb

Foreign Big Brother Sex Scene

3 Comments »

Picture 3.jpg Picture 2.jpg Picture 1.jpg

This is a clip from some foreign Big Brother. Don’t ask me what season or what country, cuz I don’t speak European. The clip is hysterical because it looks like the girl just propositions the guy to fuck, even though he’s dressed like a circus performer, but I guess it’s the whole “Last Man on Earth” scenario. Anyway, they go to the room, they try to set up a “Safety Wall” so that they aren’t spotted on camera, all while the camera man is zoomin up on them in all their glory, and by glory I mean disgustingness, but glory is a nicer word than disgustingness.

Watch the Video Here

Posted in:Big Brother|Sex|Slut|Unsorted

2006

24

Jan

Colin Farrell Sex Tape

1 Comment »

The good thing about being a useless website that no one reads is that when I post a link to a celebrity sex tape that was submitted to me, and that I couldn’t actually watch because I don’t know shit about codecs, but assume it’s legit so download it and let me know how retarded it is… I totally lost my train of thought, oh right, I won’t get sued for posting this like that fag perez hilton did. That’s the good thing about being a useless blog that no one reads.

Download sex tape HERE

This is old news, I got it days ago, but forget to post it. Sue me. Get it…Cuz everyone is getting sued over this….anyway download the fucking sex tape and leave me alone.

Posted in:Colin Farrell|Sex|Sex Tape|Slut|Unsorted

2006

19

Jan

Lohan and Leto

No Comments »

I really don’t know where I am going with this. But this is probably old pics of Leto and Lohan on the set of the John Lennon Murder Movie. I posted this pic because Lohan has had sex with Leto and this is a picture of them together. If that doesn’t excite you like it does for me, I understand, nobody cares about this but me.

Posted in:hook up|Jared Leto|Lindsay Lohan|Sex|Unsorted

2006

18

Jan

Creepy Sex Doll Pics of the Day

7 Comments »

I was inspired by my Beckham is a sex doll post, so I went on a quest to find a man and his doll in romantic love affair. This is what I came up with. I think the pictures speak for themself, dude’s in love with his doll, an unhealthy obsession but he’s got a beard and that in itself is creepy. I would say that I hope this guy is none of your dad’s but a man who loves a doll probably has very little real vagina, so little that knockin a bitch up isn’t an issue, either is STDs. If we’re lucky, this motherfucker is your teacher, or neighbor or manager at Best Buy. Because that would make this post funny.

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