SFW Archives - Page 1156 of 1171 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2015

08

Jun

Salma Hayek Maximizes Tits of the Day

Salma Hayek, like most women who haven’t had breast cancer…has tits…but unlike most women…her tits have given her a career as the goto Mexican seductress in movies she’s never won an Academy Award for, but that she has pulled her tits out for, because her tits are the whole reason she’s in the fucking movie in the first place…our system is still dated like that…

Well…here she is with her tits at an event…only this time with more wrinkles…since she’s probably pushing 60 by now..but still doing what it is she’s been doing for a long time…because you can’t teach an old dog new tricks and why would you want to when they are so big and round and lovely like this..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Salma Hayek|SFW

2015

08

Jun

Charlotte McKinney’s Ass Crack of the Day

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When Charlotte McKinney’s done with her premature TV Stint…up on some Emrata replacement tits…in a world where you need very little to be famous..or at least “known”…but a lot to be sustainable, since people lose interest fast as there is always another vapid busty cunt who fucked the right people to take your place…

I mean she did Guess once thanks to meeting the Guess photographer in Florida…then she booked one Superbowl commercial as a reminder of who she was to the 10 people who knew who she was after doing Guess…and I’m not counting the instagram followers since all that shit is just that…shit…only to get on TV, on a huge show, a mainstream show, that may not be a good show…but still something trash everywhere love…a show she didn’t really qualify being on…as she is not a star, not even low level..at least Joanna Krupa had modeled 10 years for FHM and Maxim before her bottom feeding on TV happened…..

Not that it matters, but I guess what does matter is that she’s going to events, trying to make noise with ass crack, because there’s no where else really for her to go…she’s peaked…it’ll be a sex tape too many months too late in a year or two…a rich husband…forgotten…

And the real amazing is that she’s made it this far…being average at best..but more importantly, where are her tits…those are what matter…what’s this boost of confidence that they do

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Charlotte McKinney|SFW

2015

08

Jun

Beth Behrs and the Worst Kind of Panty Flash of the Day

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Nothing ruins a potential panty upskirt like a pair of SPANX…

I am all for shape shifting underwear to make a girl look better than she does thanks to the aging process, bad diet, laziness…if those shape shifting underwear are never seen, but rather just a took to cover up a girl’s laziness..

I am not for shape shifting underwear in my porn, in my sex, or on girls I want to bang….or get back to my house to bang…because it is a lie that perpetuates a lie and it is too affordable and accessible…like the push up bra…anyone can get one..when fake tits used to be something that involved more commitment..and not just slippng into bike shorts like a suasage…

This Beth Behrs chick is from 2 Broke Girls…but not broke at all..but I guess not overly secure with her body…trying to tighten up shop…instead of just doing squats…rich people..so lazy.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Beth Behrs|SFW

2015

05

Jun

Selena Gomez Near the Breaking Point of the Day

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So Selena Gomez apparently wrote this status….

I know for a fact, mainly due to her uneducated, high school drop out, education, that she didn’t in fact write this, but rather, her team of publicists and probably well paid, Ivy League educated staff put it together for her, to help her position herself in the market…

To assume that Selena has any depth whatsoever, would be to assume any vapid puppet thrown into the industry and blinded by cash and horrible stage parents are anything more than puppets…and to date, not one child star who has been whored out by their parents has really done anything substantial…and have really just self destructed from the inside…whether they are rich for life, still working or just broken drug addicts or not..

So knowing that Selena didn’t write this cry for help, or cry for attention, or lie that she’s positioning as bieng THE TRUTH…go fuck yourself…THE TRUTH…is unfortunately, not really her at breaking point, about to jump, yet just another angle to monetize…THE TRUTH….

Sometimes I get frustrated when I hear lies about who I am. The Internet is meant to keep you “updated” but it just takes old news and freezes it like it’s now. You have watched me in pain and I’ve owned up to it through my music and actions. I grew up with you. I am beyond excited to show you the next chapter, the TRUTH. I’ve been keeping so many secrets… I’m reborn in every moment so who knows what I’ll become.. As long as I’m happy with me

The above is her drunk and singing bullshit…

Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW

2015

05

Jun

Kendall Jenner Ass in Leggings of the Day

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As an old as fuck pervert, I don’t think I will get fully comfortable, or bored of, or acclimatized to leggings, because I remember an era of ill-fitting jeans, and leggings being worn with an oversized sweatshirt…meaning this movement, that is over a decade old at this point, thanks to American Apparel making it accessible, is almost magical, especially when girls size down and the shit is see through….often times pantyless and supportive enough to make shape their bodies right…even fat chicks who shouldn’t wear leggings are awesome to me….because leggings..

That said, here’s Kendall going to the gym, to stay in shape because she’s superficial thanks to her modeling career her 70,000 dollar faced father turned mother probably didn’t pay, but rather had paid by Ryan Seacrest, to help make this shit show happen, and stage parent mother, who really only cares about her kids when she’s not too busy whoring at least one of them out, which is never, because her vagina, like a DUGGAR has shat out some shit…literally…in what is clearly the worst STD to haunt the fucking world…

Apparently, Kendall is in Montreal this weekend because either she, or her friends are fucking Lewis Hamilton and it is an F1 Race…meaning there’s a small chance that Kendall and I will make sweet love…because sometimes you can’t fight destiny…even if I hate her family, what she represents, I don’t hate this ass enough to let it sit on my face…for a few hours…even if she’s less of an ass and more of a cunt…

Posted in:Kendall Jenner|SFW

2015

05

Jun

Pia Mia Perez in a Music Video of the Day

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Pia Mia Perez is some obnoxious product of stage parents from Guam or some other bullshit..that turned her into some tumblr, instagram, superstar with a huge fan base…that I guess she has converted with her team into a record deal, because I guess, like most girls who want to be whored out to the media, can sing…as well as get naked or half naked for fans and followers…something that is both amazing and the problem with the world we live in..

Well now she’s being absorbed in the hip hop world…and she’s slated to be the next Rihanna, Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj…who all fuck big black dick…because in case you didn’t realize Drake and Kanye are basically today’s “Christina Aguilera Genie in the Bottle”…and to make them seem like less faggot than they are…they need to pepper their shit with choruses by twats like this…tiny body, but the twat of a big girl…who can fill it up with hopes and dreams…

Here some of her shit music:

Here she is covering Rihanna

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Pia Mia Perez|SFW

2015

05

Jun

Rita Ora’s Cleavage Sucks at Singing of the DAy

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Rita Ora did a cover version of some pop song I’ve never heard of…in a jumper with her sloppy tits…kind of spilling out…because that’s what having sloppy tits you use to make you famous is about…

I find it interesting that she’s doing a cover version of another song…like a aspiring Bieber on youtube trying to use other people’s search results to get her views…

Seems a little desperate…but I guess that sums up her career as the next Rihanna, who hasn’t become the next Rihanna…but has probably banged a lot of people promising her to be the next Rihanna…..

If you listen to the song…you will also see it seems a little painful…to listen to…squeals and squawks that rape my brain…

Here the oriignal…that is substantially better but still shit…

Next time, she should take that other cover song girl’s lead and do it in push up bra…

Here are 3 Cover versions better than Rita Ora’s

This post is not sponsored by King – Years and Years….before today I’ve never heard of them or their 40 million view video…

Posted in:Rita Ora|SFW

2015

04

Jun

Kendall Kylie Jenner Shorts of the Day

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A video posted by King Kylie (@kyliejenner) on Jun 3, 2015 at 2:37pm PDT

When you’re dad comes out to the world as a woman in his big reveal…like this was Extreme Makeover before it became Extreme Home Makeover to mask how terrible the fucking show idea was…taking mom away from the kids to give her 3 months of extreme surgery turning her into another person…because the world is a vapid, superficial place, not that Bruce Jenner was ever really present for the kids, he was too busy cash grabbing and whoring them all out, because people love attention…

You should always wear short enough jumpers to show the world your ass cheek…it’s not only today’s fashion, but encoded in your hooker DNA…

I’m into this.

Posted in:Kendall Jenner|SFW

2015

01

Jun

Kate Upton in a Make-Up Campaign of the Day

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When dealing with a fat girl with fat tits for a make-up campaign that probably paid her over a million dollars to be part of…despite her being a fat chick…or maybe they signed her on before she was a fat chick…when she was the most important model around….

This is how you crop the images…so that you can maximize her maximum size…while featuring on the two things people like about her….face and tits…get rid of the other shit…like gut and dumpy everything….

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2015

01

Jun

Taylor Swift With Gigi Hadid and Martha Hunt of the Day

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Taylor Swift attaches herself to models. I don’t really know why, I am assuming it is because she wants to be a model, or is technically a model, or she wants you to see that she’s taller and skinnier than models, or maybe the models adopt her because they want the press of being Taylor Swift’s best friends….and ultimately who gives a fuck…

I’m more interested in the Taylor Swift Cameltoe, because I fucking love cameltoe, especially when I know it is caused by a slutty vagina being slutty and having a mind of it’s own…

The idea of these girls having pillow fights, just isn’t graphic enough for me to want to jerk off to, I just find it weird….

Posted in:SFW|Taylor Swift

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