SFW Archives - Page 1158 of 1171 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2015

17

Apr

Miley Cyrus Headstand with a Leotard Wedgie of the Day

I used to know and party with girls who were just into being weird for the sake of being weird. They were actually normal as fuck, and I guess that’s why they did it, it gave them something to get noticed for or to talk about…whether it was with costume…or whatever….

They were the kind of girls who would go to the gym in a snowsuit…or bikini or really anything to get a laugh…out of boredome or whatever…

They’d be the girls you’d go to their houses or on a trip with and they’d just be dressed crazy in leotards or whatever for the sake of being crazy and in leotards…it made no sense…but it all stemmed from boredom…which I can assume Miley is all about…

It’s like she’s chilling at home, figures “I’ll put on this silly crazy thing”….gets high…cuz it’s almost 420 and tthat what people do…and thinks it’s so great that she should do yoga poses…all her little leeches laugh at the joke…and snap pics and since it was the highlight of her boring, secluded, alienated life…she posts it to the internet…

So her getting weird identity crisis, is really just her being bored and sad…but at least it comes with leotard jacked in ass crack…which happens to be the kind of Gets weird…I like..

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|SFW

2015

17

Apr

Chrissy Teigen Stretch Marks of the Day

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Chrissy Teigen is the fucking worst. I am not just saying that because she targeted me on her blog and called me a rapist..I am saying that because everything about her, from career, to social media comedy, to weird freakouts to her realtionship and marriage is a fucking joke….the only thing I wish wasn’t a joke was when she mentioned her suicidal thoughts…because maybe they’d get the best of her in a drunken, bloated rage…

People in the mainstream, I call them suburbanites, or peasants, are buying into her nonsense..and last night I even saw people celebrating and commedning Chrissy Teigen for being so brave by posting a pic of her stretch marked thighs…likes it is revolutionary to be disgusting…

Girls have stretch marks…and I think it is safe to say based on even her photoshopped pics that this pig faced, pot bellied, obscure ethnicity was imperfect…a photoshop lie…that wasn’t even that great, but good enough to secure her funds by gold digging smart, with a guy right before he got super fucking rich…so that he thinks it’s true love…

She’s high maintenance, high strung, irritating, and shouldn’t even be on anyone’s radar…

So only models because she’s positioned herself properly and her rich as fuck husband likes it for his ego..and she’s just doing this for attention…because she sucks and loves attention…and pparently so do her fat inner thighs.

All this to say…I think she’s got a dick…no, that’s not what I wanted to say….what I wanted to say is stop encouraging her…there is nothing good about this oversharing, look at me “fans”…”it’s like you’re in my room with me as we drink because I have no friends, let’s talk about our insecurities” behavior…it’s the worst.

Posted in:Chrissy Teigen|SFW

2015

17

Apr

Eliza Dushku and her Ass Eating Dog of the Day

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Eliza Dushku posted this picture of her dog sniffing her ass…which I guess is because she’s on her period…

I know, I through she’d be too old to get her period too. It seems like it was 20 years ago that she had a 6 month career making movies as the hot chick…

I wonder what she’s up to, I mean with her promoting herself in obvious ways that scream “i want you to ask what I am up to, so I’ll put up some me with my doggy erotica weirdness”…but luckily not too weird…she clearly left the peanut butter out it this time…

All this to say…she apparently dropped out of Hollywood, moved to Boston because Hollywood is shit, and is actually in college following her dreams of doing whatever it is she put on hold to do this hollywood nonsense…before realizing that it is just that…nonsense…so good for her…and keep the dog in ass pics coming…cuz I don’t care if she’s over 35…or that she fucks black guys…she’s still Eliza Dushku to me and I’m all about letter her sit on my face….to celebrate that…l

Posted in:Eliza Dushku|SFW

2015

16

Apr

Is This Selena Gomez in a Bikini of the Day

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I don’t know if this is actually Selena Gomez in a bikini…it could just be any fucking Mexican who has eaten one too many corn torillas..because if you’ve ever seen Mexicans…and I am saying this as a Mexican…most have kids by 16, and are 180 pounds by 18….

So if this is actually her, I can assume that she’s emotionally eating, or maybe her metabolism is just slowing down, because she’s old and Mexican or maybe her lupus medication is bloating her…

But she’s definitely wearing the wrong cage bikini…cuz shit is spilling out where it shouldn’t….and not the good kind of shit…like actual shit from losing control of her bowels thanks to all the mexican food she’s been eating to make her fat….or her labia slipping because she hasn’t factored in the weight gain forcing her battered vagina to hang out of the much too tight fabric…

No matter what the reason….She probably shouldn’t have let the paparazzi get this…

TO SEE ALL THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW

2015

04

Feb

Emma Watson Sex Scene in Regression of the Day

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Emma Watson was in a movie called Regression that I assume all of the Emma Watson fans, who are some of the creepiest of creepy dudes, very into the whole Harry Potter thing, watching her grow up before their eyes, while falling in absolute love with her, despite her being 14…

Well this is apparently her sex scene in the movie where she’s fucking her dad…not her real dad…but I could be wrong, I don’t care about these things..

Posted in:Emma Watson|SFW

2014

03

Apr

Rosalind Lipsett Modelbombing Public Places of the Day

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Rosalind Lipsett is an Irish model you’ve probably heard of, because she’s all over the blogs and internet in bikinis and non topless photoshoot. I feel like she’s a diplomat sent from Ireland to LA to show the world that Irish girls aren’t all fat, drunk, red headed weirdos with beer bellies. It’s good for PR and tourism.

That said, she’s come up with a clever new thing she calls “Modelbombing”, which is the act of turning the world into your own fashion photoshoot or runway and anyone can do it.

She’s campaigning to get it into the Webster’s Dictioary as the new #selfie or #twerk or whatever the next trend on the internet is…and her campaign involves outrageous, flamboyant, over-the-top, extreme modelling amongst the peasant normals in public places, like McDonalds, Walmart, Dominos Pizza and anything that gets a babe in her bikini for any reason…from viral video ideas, to creating new words is something I’ll promote.

The song is called “Pink Bikini” by John West of Public School, Produced by Mike Dez & George Robertson, who is one of the writers of LMFAO’s Sexy and I Know It.

That’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Rosalind Lipsett|SFW

2013

03

Dec

Today in Selena Gomez Cleavage of the Day

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I guess someone told Selena Gomez that she had good tits…because something happened recently where all she wants to do is show her tits…

Is it a distraction from her weird chipmunk face with weird fake lips…or is it just because tits is what people want…I mean did she change her birth control pill and turn that A-Cup to a B-Cup or did she just eat her way to a B-Cup…who fucking knows what the strategy or reason behind it is…but it’s happening and I am watching even if cleavage bores me and I’m more into hardcore sexuality…if you know what I mean…like spread eagle ass shots…but Disney girls gone bad, always a good storyline, even when you know they’ve been polluted with Bieber’s dick, a dick that is rumoured to be huge, which makes the whole thing far fucking worse…

This is some Christmas event, seems like an appropriate outfit…nothing says Christmas at my house like tits…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW

2013

03

Dec

Fake Ski Viral of the Day

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I don’t know if this is a viral video yet, or if it every will be, because german dudes in the alps is not very American, and America runs the internet, except maybe with that what the fox says video…but I’m going to assume that there is no scientific way that a dude doing weird stunts with his skis would be filmed doing weird stunts with his skis…and even if he did the chances of it flying 20 feet in the air through a bus window is as bullshit as the Jimmy KImmel twerk…but I like the fact that the public are idiots…and buy into everything they see…and I like to perpetuate the lie….and that’s why I am posting this…

Posted in:SFW|Videos

2013

03

Dec

Aly Michalka in Some Bikini Goodness of the Day

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I still don’t really know who Aly Michalka is, I know she has a sister, I know they were in a band, I know they had a Disney show and I know one of them had a lot of plastic surgery, yet I don’t know much more about who they are, what they do…and what they are all about…I mean after looking at these pics of her ass in a bikini posed over her balcony in St Lucia that she posted to the internet…I really want to get to know her at her core…literally…I’m romantic and perverted like that….but then again, these vapid celebrity really don’t have that much substance, so maybe this is all we need to know…and luckily for me, that’s enough…I mean sure a sex tape would be a more interesting approach…but I have low standards and expectations…I can deal with bikini pics.

Posted in:Aly Michalka|SFW

2013

03

Dec

The Kardashian Christmas Card is a Photo Series of the Day

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I saw this horrible Kardashian Christmas card, as tacky as you’d expect, yesterday but apparently it’s a series of pics, obviously, these over the top assholes just don’t stop…even though they should be stopped with an elephant gun…

Apparently, they hired David Lachapelle to shoot their Christmas card, and by The Kardashians I mean E!, as the Kardashians have E! by the balls and make them pay for all the over the top shit they do, because spending their own stupid money they made being the worst humans on earth would just be crazy, when they can trap other idiots to do it for them…they’ve got it all figured out, but it’s too bad that these Dancing Monkeys aren’t just Dancing Monkeys that their trainer can put to sleep because they’re all danced out…

The only thing nice about this over the top shoot it is that Bruce Jenner let his Tranny hair out…not you tranny lovers can really throw down to him…if you know what I mean…

Garbage

Posted in:Kardashians|SFW

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