SFW Archives - Page 937 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2016

14

Mar

Nina Dobev Underwater Tits of the Day

Nina Dobrev is some actor from some show about vampires, because Hollywood likes to milk trends harder than I like cheap hookers to milk my dick, or harder than I like to milk girls who crave fame and think I’m some conduit to that, when really, I’m not, just don’t tell the girls licking my ass that…

Either way, she’s from Canada, at least that is what I think, which in and of itself is really fucking fascinating to very few people, since no one cares about Canada more than just saying it’s where they will go when Trump gets elected…

She’s producing “artistic” bullshit tit pics in a bikini for her social media..which I guess is what all these slutty girls who want you to jerk off to them are calling their nudes…”art”….

BONUS: Here are Nina Dobrev and Sarah Hyland doing fitness together because all these tricks are puppets together in their insular garbage world that will one day be obsolete…seriously this “joke” is offensive…

Posted in:Nina Dobrev|SFW

2016

11

Mar

Bella Thorne in Lingerie of the Day

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Bella Thorne is 40 and I like to promote anything she’s doing. Not because I like her or think she’s all that hot or great or interesting. She’s pretty fucking basic, standard and her tactics are obvious….but for some reason I have this fantasy I obsess over, where she’s 40 and a mom, and this is her trolling us in some documentary on how dumb we are as a people, buying into some slutty pics of some girl who claims to be 18…

I keep saying the same story, but yes, that’s what obsessing is. I mean I could go into her career, some bullshit stories about her fitness routine, or what her diet or love life is. I could help perpetuate her, or I could talk about the sexual things I would do to her when she was asleep at a college party, knowing I wouldn’t get expelled from college, because I’m not even a student there…I watched some college rape documentary last night that Lady Gaga wrote the song for…and she’s rumored to be college age…but college and college rape doesn’t apply to her…when you can just focus on the superficial self promotion…who only fucks to get ahead…her hippie stage parents taught her right…

I’d much rather look at her thinking she’s a soccer mom who likes fitness…

Either way, she’s in lingerie for some magazine…that may not be an authentic magazine, you never know with all these instagram accounts…but that is something…that gets her half naked which excites everyone….mainly you…

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2016

11

Mar

Irina Shayk’s Body in Some Italy Magazine of the Day

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Irina Shayk is a brilliant hooker…

What an amazingly strategic use of her amazing fucking body…and it worked out for her.

From homosexual soccer stars to Hollywood A-List womanizers, this girl knows how to leverage her vagina into opportunities.

I guess all models are capable of this type of behavior, and most pull it off with as much ease, since rich guys fucking love models.

But I just really like it when the model in question is a Russian, because I know their evil core, their manipulative communist trained torture tactics that she uses to get ahead…because if a hot Russian came at me, I wouldn’t stand a fucking chance, but then again if any girl came at me, I wouldn’t stand a fucking chance, as long as they aren’t my wife, that is..so it’s not that impressive, but when she can pull it off with people with options…like Brad Cooper…it’s fucking great…it’s power…this body…is killer…and she’s fucking killin’it…I guess what I am saying is…I love her.

Posted in:Irina Shayk|SFW

2016

11

Mar

Kate Upton’s Comeback for V Magazine of the Day

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Kate Upton has been working out…so I guess it was a good opportunity for her to release all her hard work, while reaffirming to her fans that she’s still got her tits, because she knows as well as we all know, that her tits are all that fucking matter when it comes to Kate Upton….

The amazing thing in her is that at 23 years old, she’s been able to accomplish so much as a fat sloppy chick, that people believed was hot and amazing, all because they were told she was as they were stuffed with her tits in their face…

This shoot is “Housewife”…which makes sense, because she’s built like a 45 year old mom on her way to pick-up the kids at the school dance…she’s got a GUNT and all…I thought only menopausal women got that…

Either way, keep up the good work superstar I’ll never understand…

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2016

11

Mar

Selena Gomez Paris Fashion Week Skin of the Day

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It’s Selena Gomez against the clock. Dying of LUPUS. Getting CHEMO to treat that LUPUS. Pretty much not debilitating her from going to all the parties she wanted to go to.

She’s like a Make a Wish Foundation bald headed kid at Disney pre-death riding every fucking ride because she knows this may be her last.

Which makes sense because of that whole terminal illness managed by CHEMO thing….

So she’s out there, dressing aggressively sexy, working it for the paparazzi, because she knows Taylor Swift is pregnant and this is her window of opportunity to make her move and solidify herself in the industry using all those Disney taught skills…

Not because she’s not famous, but because she’s not Taylor Swift, and that is where she wants to be, because it’s money, glory and everything…and when you’re on that timeline, you know with that CHEMO that doesn’t make you lose your hair, because it’s such a small dose…you fucking work it…as cheesy as you can….and I’m ok with it…because of hard nipples, ass pics, I don’t care the quality, just that they happened…it’s like a baseline of how desperate a bitch is, and I like desperate….especially when it is fighting for it’s life…dying…

TO SEE MORE SELENA GOMEZ DRESSED SLUTTY IN PARIS CLICK HERE

AND EVEN MORE MORE SELENA GOMEZ DRESSED SLUTTY IN PARIS (WITH PANTY FLASH) HERE

Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW

2016

11

Mar

Gigi Hadid’s Big Dopey Head and Inner Thighs of the Day

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Gigi Hadid wants you to look at her inner thighs, she’s been starving herself all year to get them to the level of acceptable for a model, even though this is the era of the fat model, no girl wants to be fat, except fat chicks…it’s her only hope faking it, it also distracts people from her weird arab bobble head…

Seriously, the most celebrated model, with no business being a model, but is hired as a model thanks to smart marketing and a social media audience, is just a teen dream of a vapid cunt in a vapid cunt family…and it worked…depsite having a really large weird monster head…

Here’s her sister in a see through shirt, with a see through bra, showing some nipple….because she’s in the shadow of the bobble head and trying to shine through as her own “model”..or “celebrity”…with no marketable skill, I mean except her tits…because the tits are good, even if what they are attached to is a pile of very expensive shit.

Posted in:Gigi Hadid|SFW

2016

11

Mar

Bella Thorne’s Fitness of the Day

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Bella Thorne is a solid 40 year old who is always in the gym, who fucking loves to have people take pics of her from behind…it’s so casual…organic…barely crying for attention when clearly crying for attention and it’s working. People are talking. Her fans are masturbating to her and she can play off that she’s not being a suggestive cockteasing slut, and that this isn’t actually a butt shot, but rather just her at the gym…not calculating or calculated at all…bullshit…obviously…but this is the only way these characters can make money and exist…thanks to the feminist movement, we can’t judge her for using her body, showing off her body, that she clearly takes care of, to inspire other girls to get in the gym, so they too can post butt shots to gain traction in entertainment….

Works for me.

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2016

11

Mar

Alison Brie in Some Magazine of the Day

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Sitcom star Alison Brie….in a show I’ve never seen, but that apparently everyone has seen, making her a huge fucking star…

I’ve done posts on her before, including brilliant analysis of her as a talent, as an actress, as an inspiration to us all…like:

“She’s got tits I’d like to smear on the cracker that is my penis like they were a nice slice of creamy brie”…

Unfortunately, her last name is actually Schermerhorn. Sexy how it rolls off the tongue…either way still brilliant at least in terms of explaining why I have never been offered a job writing a sitcom of my own, because that kind of joke is garbage…but you can see a bunch of her tits, the tits I was referencing in THIS POST ….

Tits…that she’s not showing off in this photoshoot, which would be weird

Posted in:Alison Brie|SFW

2016

11

Mar

Caitlyn Jenner Playing with Sex Toys of the Day

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Here’s some weird product placement…featuring Caitlyn Jenner being introduced to a vibrator like he’s never been in a situation where he’s filled his ass up with random household objects – remninding him of the Locker Room days while fantasizing about being a woman..

There is no way Kris Jenner didn’t fuck him up the ass their entire fucking marriage, leading to abuse that turned him into a fucking woman…

After posting VIDEO OF A POST OP MASTURBATING , I don’t even find humor in Caitlyn pretending to learn about female masturbation…for the sake of her show and an ad this sex toy company paid for…because what better place to advertise than with some tranny porn fantasies to the 1 person who has a Caitlyn Jenner tranny porn fantasy…that you know exists but don’t want to find out is your relative.

I am just blown away that this kind of television exists…the end of TV..clearly happening…here’s the proof…

Posted in:Caitlyn Jenner|SFW

2016

11

Mar

Daphne Joy is the Instagram Hooker of the Day

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Daphne Joy is one of those cheesy fucking instagram hookers that you’ve all seen before.

They all post the same cheesy pictures of them in the gym, or by the pool, holding boxes of tea or detox shit…

It’s fucking ghetto, but people fucking love them, and in Daphne Joy’s case, one of those people was 50 cent who she didn’t waste anytime getting knocked up by, because despite his being “broke”…she will still get a solid 20,000 dollar a month check to raise their baby, until the kid is 18, even if she ends up with this dude she’s in a bikini with named Jason Derulo, also black….

I guess she’s got a type. Rich dudes who like cheesy hooker looking asian bitches with cheesy fake tits…and an instagram following based on lies and bullshit.

What Cheesy staged paparazzi pics of a bitch I doubt anyone cares about, even after they pay her for anal.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Daphne Joy|SFW

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