What the fuck am I going to say about tanlines, I should put up a poll where you tell me what I should write about tanlines, because I’ve already said it’s hot, it’s slutty, it frames the good parts and reminds us that we’re seeing what the sun didn’t see….it’s the best accessory…like smoke signals saving people lost in the woods….or lights on the RUNWAY….guiding us to the areas of a woman’s body we should probably put our mouths…

But as inspiring and hot as Tanlines are…I have nothing to really say about them because week in and week out it’s just a bunch of fucking tanlines…clickbait for you to click on…so get clicking you click fuck.

(more…)

Posted in:Tanlines

Whether the majority of the USA is under some weird storm or the aftershock of some weird storm….despite being something us Canadians deal with daily….the Tanline LIVES ON…

It is the beacon of hope that the summer will comeback to us, so that our COVID Lockdown bullshit will be replaced with SUNSHINE…while still locked down….and that sunshine will kiss the bodies of girls with nothing better to do than to tan in their bikinis as running an internet business of selling nudes takes less than an hour a day, leaving lots of time to sunbathe.

These TANLINES are either SPRAY TANS keeping the DREAM alive, or girls who live in hot places who can still get tanlines, or TRASHY girls who do the whole tanning bed because skin cancer fear can’t thwart their TANLINE efforts…and I am into tanlines…they are hot.

(more…)

Posted in:Tanlines

I would never have considered myself a Tan Line Fetishists, but Tan Lines are fucking hot….

Maybe it has to do with spending the last year indoors, but I’ve spent years before the last year indoors….so the idea of looking at a healthy, sun kissed body isn’t really a fetish of mine typically….but I guess it’s better than being into vampire bitches…not to mention half these tan lines are probably IMPOSTER tanlines in that they are created by a SPRAY TAN….but does it really matter…TANLINES the second best fashion accessory when taking nude pics of yourself…because the more naked you get the less accessories you have the option of using…the first best fashion accessory in a nude is BUSH….so girls grow that bush out, get those tanlines and here’s some tanlines…on a THURSDAY…CLICKBAIT…

(more…)

Posted in:Tanlines

Tanline Thursday is a wonderful day to remind me that not all bitches are pasty, half dead, meth addicts, who haven’t seen the sun in at least a year, in part because they are half dead, but then there’s the whole covid thing getting in the way of their spray tans that they use to appear less half dead…

Tans look healthy…and tanlines let us see just how white the bitch is…you know because white is not inclusive so we must boycott all these girls in brown face…use tanlines as a way to confirm their racism…or stare at the places bikinis or underwear once were before the spray down, or sunbathe down…who fucking cares, tanlines are hot.

(more…)

Posted in:Tanlines

Canada is talking about upping the travel restrictions, not that I travel, but what an attack on people’s freedoms, if you want to go to the beach with either some bitches you meet on the internet because you can finally afford to pretend to be a baller with your free government money and the travel discounts, so you can take them to an all inclusive resort in cuba to fuck for like 1000 dollars for two…..just make sure they sign that release form / consent form, you don’t want that biting you in the ass…but no…the government doesn’t like you getting fucked, they prefer to be the ones doing the fucking…..so NO TANLINES FOR YOU….

But since we live our new existence through a screen, which isn’t anything new to me, I am actually already over it and hate the screen, but yeah…we don’t need to travel..we can just remain prisoners over a virus that BARELY KILLS anyone, that they are basically just going to phase out because they know it’s all bullshit, and that people will just be so happy to go back to normal that they won’t ask questions…

We are all pawns…tax paying pawns…

But luckily, while living in our own prisons, we can turn to the internet for a bunch of tanlines, because ultimately, you know as well as I do that you’re not going anywhere with bitches who have tanlines, not even the stripclub….so pics work and here they are.

(more…)

Posted in:Tanlines

Canada is planning. Travel Ban, so I won’t be hopping on the private jet to tropical places with models pulling their fake tits out of bikini tops to try to even out that tanline…you know like I do every other year…the internet’s been good to me friends…

THen there’s the whole ban on stripclubs….and me being banned from being a Spray Tan Operator, or do they call them Artists, because they apparently don’t like dudes jacking off while applying the spray tans they are paying for, that jacking off is for their sugar daddies and clients paying them…plus the whole spray tan business is also shut down…meaning they’d have to do it illegally, secretly, the underground RAILROAD to get a fucking Spray Tan….

So I guess the only tanlines I get to see are TAN LINE THURSDAY, where girls share their tanlins, since not everyone is in winter, no spray tans allowed, life…

(more…)

Posted in:Tanlines

You may not be allowed to leave your house, but is that really all that bad, I mean even when you’re a broke ass loser who lives in a basement apartment that smells like death and obese wife…it’s still better than going to fucking work…

Not to mention, you can still hop on the plane and take advantage of those COVID prices that are probably 25% of what they once were when there was no travel…not that you travel, but you get what I am saying, there are options…

Or you can be like me and just stare at chicks who are hotter than chicks I’d normally be staring out without them calling the police on me, showing off their tanlines…one of those side effects of laying out in the sun…or I guess they have friends with a spray tan machine who used to spray tan all the strippers before stripping was banned.

Point being, Tanlines will survive COVID, and here are tanlines to jack off to.

(more…)

Posted in:Tanlines

If you don’t live in a tropical place or if you’re not a politician or a celebrity travelling to all the luxurious tropical places over the holidays, while our broke asses were in lockdown over some bullshit virus that doesn’t kill nearly enough people….then you probably haven’t had solid dose of tanlines, you know after getitng girls back to your room to fuck….not that you do that but it’s fun to pretend…

If anything, you only get translines, which is when you do coke off a tranny prostitutes dick…and you can only afford that once every couple of months…

But I guess, there’s always tanning beds, which are closed here and spray tans, which are closed here, so maybe this is really all the tanline you’ll get…

You’re welcome.

(more…)

Posted in:Tanlines

With less people traveling due to COVID because they are chicken shit and let the government and media influence their fun by guilting people tp stay inside like it is the responsible thing, tan lines may be at risk of being far less abundant this year for people from the north who normally travel south this time of year…..

However, there are obviously still those self involved sluts, sugar babies, and travel influencers who are a bit of both…who still travel, because they have “clients” who need them on their arm for New Years parties as the rich have different COVID rules and restrictions…if anything they have to celebrate all the money they’ve made off the market, bitcoin, or even in their own businesses thanks to the pandemic, and tropical places are good for that.

PLUS there are tanning beds, spray tans and other slutty things for sluts to get that tan line, just to show you where clothes are supposed to go…but aren’t currently….it’s some stripclub stripper shit and I like it….So Tanlines will survive COVID along with 99.8 percent of people who catch it…

(more…)

Posted in:Tanlines

Tanlines are the wonderful hot and tropical vacation that any woman can partake in, any time of year, thanks to tanning beds and spray tans…

People like to see the tanline as a way of highlighting where clothes once were, so they know they are getting the EXCLUSIVE….

I like to use the tanlines to see just how racist a bitch is while partaking in socially acceptable black face…..because despite blackface and a spray tan being virtually the same thing…the spray tan is seen as a beauty industry standard procedure, while black face gets you cancelled….sure some tans are the actual pigment from the sun or machine and I guess going as dark as you can despite brown people facing so much adversity….isn’t seen as black face…but since most tanlines I know are from spray tans, I’ll stick with the racist angle….

Here are some tanlines..

(more…)

Posted in:Tanlines