I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Tits Category

2008

06

Jun

Ice T’s Coco Has Some Huge Fucking Tits of the Day

1 Comment »

I hate fake tits but offered some slut I met in the bar the other night a set because she didn’t know I was poor and joking and I figured it’d be a good excuse for her to show me her current tits and I was right. The psychology is simple, she was offended that I offered her fake tits, implying that her tits now were inadequate and she went onto tell me how amazing she is and how every guy she’s ever been with think they are the hottest tits ever and that’s when I chime in with the “If they are so great, prove it” and she did. The unfortunate thing with my plan was that this bitch’s body looked like a sock full of jello and was dumpier than the shrapnel my wife left in the toilet, but I saw nipples never the less and that’s good enough for me.

Here are some pictures of Ice T with the retarded fake tits I can only assumed he financed for his ex-stripper wife, just because they are freakier than that time I dressed like a pedophile on halloween and handed out candy in the park out of a van I rented.

Posted in:Coco|Ice T|Tits

2008

04

Jun

Mel B and Her Retarded Tits for Some Bra Company of the Day

13 Comments »

Mel B proves that you don’t have to have much of a face to get high paying jobs promoting lingerie which makes total sense because bras are for tits and only look good on faces when they are covering the ugly bitch you and you don’t want to make it too obvious or turn her off by using a pillow to cover her face so that you can keep your erection and finish what you started.

Her tits are retardedly big and have probably paid for themselves a bunch of times over proving that implants can be good investments especially when your beauty is fleeting and you need a distraction that allows dudes to still masturbate to you

It’s girls like Mel B that make me wish the monkeys of the jungle were stacked like this because it would make jerking off to Animal Planet a hell of a less challenging.

Posted in:Mel B|Tits

2008

29

May

Topanga Hit’s Up a Bar of the Day

7 Comments »

I was trolling through facebook when I got in this morning, because I had to pretend that I was up all night working so my wife wouldn’t find out that I was out doing drugs and trying to do 18 year olds. I came across some dude’s pictures of a girl who looked a lot like Topanga from Boy Meets World only fatter and more troll-like and I decided to reach out to find out what the deal was. It turned out that it was the real Topanga and this is what he wrote:

Me and a few of my buddies went to McFaddens in Worcester MA one night and it happened to be Topanga’s guest bartender night. One of my buddies used to work at the bar when he went to school and knew a bunch of the bouncers and bartenders. We got to be at the front of the bar where she was hanging out and she gave us a bunch of shots to take with her. She wanted to dance and started grinding me and the girl i was with, I did my best for being a white guy with no rhythm and the three of us grinded for a solid hour… the type of moves that would make Cory Mathews jealous as a mother
fucker. Even the DJ at the bar tried to get with her.

At the end of the night me and my buddies tried to get her to go to the party we were going to but she had to go back to Boston or some shit to catch an early flight back to LA.

I guess it’s good to know that despite being a child star for some successful ABC family show, she still manages to get work, sure it’s hosting lame parties where she bar tends in small New England cities, but I guess it’s a lot better than having a successful acting career where she is the most desirable thing in Hollywood that gets so many jobs that she doesn’t know what to do with herself, because I’m sure deep down inside she wants none of that. She’d much rather be a nobody, she just goes to all those auditions she gets rejected from for jokes, her true passion lies in partying with commoners.

Posted in:Bar Tending|Tits|Topanga

2008

27

May

Melanie Brown’s Jungle Ass in Bikini of the Day

23 Comments »

Here’s some Spice Girl Melanie Brown in a bikini all bent over and showing off her body in what is probably one of the classiest paparazzi angles out there. I know that shit makes her ass look good enough to perverts who like seeing girls on all fours because they never get girls on all fours in real life but for me, these spying camera shots are uninspired and boring. I think it’d be a lot more interesting if the paparazzi hired obscure artist photographers instead of stupid immigrants with a camera, at least that way I’d be able to post something a little more stimulating to look at.

Either way, it’s nice to see Mel B getting back in touch with her roots in a jungle print bikini, as some sort of tribute to her people that used to run from crazed jungle animals on a daily basis because it’s nice to know that despite having made it and having lots of money and a life of luxury, she doesn’t forget the tribe she came from.

Posted in:Ass|Melanie Brown|Tits

2008

23

May

Petra Nemcova’s Got Some Big Aids Tits of the Day

1 Comment »

Petra Nemcova brought her tits out to an Aids charity because she knows the one thing people with Aids want to see is a hot set of tits they can’t fuck because girls like Petra don’t like having sex with dude’s who have Aids. Not to mention most dudes with Aids are gay and those who aren’t are for the most part stuck banging the ex-heroin addict crackwhores no one wants because hot put together chicks Aids are hard to find.

Not that Petra really needs to worry because no one with Aids will actually be at the event. Their disease just funded it for celebrities to show off how much they care and probably cost millions of dollars to produce all paid for with money donated to the chairty that would probably be better suited going to the cause than throwing parties for people who don’t eve have Aids, but do have a lot of unprotected sex. I guess it’s because celebrities don’t want to go to Aids parties with Aids patients because it’s a bad look for them, even though someone like Petra is from the Czech, which probably has the highest Aids rate in Europe since it’s got a pretty heavy sex and porn trade goin’ down there.

Either way, here are her tits.

Posted in:cleavage|Petra Nemcova|Tits

2008

20

May

Jessica Simpson’s Got Some Shorts and Tits of the Day

1 Comment »

*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*

I like how the circle of life works, one person dies another is born, one couple breaks up and another one ends up getting married because gay marriage was finally legalized and all their fabricated commercial emo shit can go down under the legal contract that locks them together called marriage. I am talking about how Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson right before Ashlee and Pete Wentz got married and how this probably ruined Jessica Simpson on the inside, kinda like how Tony Romo did to her insides while he had her vulnerable vagina crying on his bed, only with a lot less semen.

Either way, here are some pictures of Jessica Simpson before the wedding showing off some tits because she’s back on the market and knows that dudes like tits.

*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*
*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*
*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*

And here is Jessica Simpson after the wedding in Cabo to Deal With Her Jealousy of Her Sister’s Wedding and She Isn’t in a Bikini Yet….But Probably Will Be…so keep yourself posted.

*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*
*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*
*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*
*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|Shorts|Tits

2008

20

May

Jenny McCarthy is a Hot Man of the Day

10 Comments »

Jenny McCarthy has never been hot in my world, but then again, my world is a scary place and girls who were in Playboy don’t exist in it, but when I look at her now, I feel like she’d fit in nicely amongst the trannies I roll by and want to befriend because I am fascinated in their big hair, bad make-up, fake tits and penis, not in a sexual way, I am not creepy like that, despite knowing that tranny porn is watched mostly by straight dudes who think it’s less gay to watch a chick with a dick bang a chick than watch a dude bang a chick, because at least the dick’s got a hot set of fake tits, but I find it a little too unnatural to be down with. I do know that someone who has done that to themselves is probably a lot of fun to hang with because they obviously don’t give a fuck about what other people think about them.

The point of all that was to say that Jenny McCarthy may have big tits, she may live a life as a girl but until I see a spread out pussy, I am calling dude on this shit. Her freaky face is just too much like one of my homeboys than one that comes stock with a vagina.

Posted in:Hot|Jenny McCarthy|Man|Tits

2008

20

May

Alessandra Ambrosio has Some Hot Pregnant Tits of the Day

No Comments »

Alessandra Ambrosio is part of the reason I want to get a model pregnant, even though that dream is not possible for me since my good years are far behind me and because my good years weren’t all that good, I was just a little more put together and about 10 years farther away from my impending death. I know that if I made other life choices I could have ended up with a model’s baby, like if I never got fired from that old folks home, maybe one of the girls coming to see their dying grandmother was hot, or even if I became addicted to dance instead of addicted to drinking, I could have found myself performing at some model conference. The truth is you just never know, but I do know that it wasn’t written in my cards.

The reason I would want to get a model pregnant, is that despite having a disgusting little parasite eating off her and growing inside her, she is still hot enough to fuck and not worry about how gross the experience actually is and just follow your balls direction in cumming inside her again. It’s like give something worth eating as my load showers it’s little developing head.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|cleavage|Tits

2008

20

May

Reese Witherspoon’s Shitty Bikini Pictures of the Day

8 Comments »

*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*

Reese Witherspoon is boring as fuck and looks like a boring fuck and I have always felt that way about her. Sure she’s had a bunch of kids making you think she’s worth fucking, but she just did that to lock in the teen heartthrob who knocked her up when they did a movie together and the other kids were just used as a distraction to how boring she was and dude figured that at least babies give them some laughs and something to do with their time and something to talk about to divert their attention from each other because she pretty much had nothing to offer.

These bikini pics prove that. She looks like a Southern Fat chick who has been lucky enough to not work in the diner where she was supposed to and moved to Hollywood where she won an Academy Award all while fighting off the demons of her past as they try to make her ass as fat as it was supposed to be if she hadn’t ran away to Hollywood all in hopes that it doesn’t win, but it will. It always does. You can’t beat genetics, trust me, I’ve tried.

*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*
*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*
*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*
*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*
*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*
*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*
*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*
*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*
*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*

Posted in:Bikini|Reese Witherspoon|Tits

2008

16

May

Christina Aguilera’s Got Some Big Ol’ Tits of the Day

7 Comments »

Christina Aguilera seems to be repetitive in her dressing like a neurotic old Jewish man who owns 14 pairs of the same shoes, 10 pairs of the same jeans and 4 pairs of the same glasses because he knows what he likes. She was seen yesterday wearing the same fuckin’ dress, with the same fuckin’ tits just in a different color yesterday. I blame her husband.

The beauty of Christina Aguilera’s tits is that she got them because of insecurities. She was always less popular than Britney and she probably spent nights up in bed trying to figure out why and all she could come up with is that guys like Genie’s in a Bottle better when they are stacked. Now she probably thinks she made all of our dreams come true, while lookin’ like Pam Anderson or a porn slut that was considered hot back in the 90s than the little 16 year old hispanic girl with a voice we all wanted to fuck, when all she really had to do was release her birthing video, but that’s just because I get off to girls giving birth, since birth is the product of sex and reminds me of the success I feel after taking a huge shit after eating at a buffet.

BONUS – Christina Aguilera and her Weak Chin Showin Some Big Tits in an Animal Print Bra

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Tits