I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Tits Category

2008

09

May

Tori Spelling’s Got Some Hot Mom Tits of the Day

One of the stranger things that I remember from TV in the nineties was trying to make sense of Tori Spelling’s breast dent after her dad bought her a set of tits on 90210. I think it had to do with her being pigeon chested like this dude I know who was born pre-mature to a drug and alcohol addicted mother and grew up to have the weirdest shaped borderline crippled body that lead to him wearing numerous braces and harnesses so that he wouldn’t fall apart when he banged his wife. She told me it was like fucking a cyborg…a very frail asthmatic cyborg.

One of the stranger things that I remember since the nineties is that some meal ticket motherfucker actually got it on with Tori Spelling to the point of knockin’ her up twice. That’s about the level of knocking up, where using the “I was drunk” excuse doesn’t fly.

I’d still bang her and her saturated womb, but that’s cuz she’ll always be the virgin on 90210 for me and I kinda have a crush on virgins. The truth is that I don’t actually like virgins because they are either too young or too socially awkward but I pretend I do for the sake of posts, that’s just how versatile I am.

Posted in:Hot|Tits|Tori Spelling

2008

07

May

Ashlee Simpson’s Tits With Her Girlfriend of the Day

I wonder if Ashlee Simpon’s boyfriend resents her while watching her walk around the house in her underwear or naked. It’s like no matter how hard he tries to dress like a girl and be a girl, he just will never be a girl. No matter how many prosthetic breasts he shoves in his bra, or how creative he gets when folding his dick into his scrotum to make a vaginal lookin’ fleshy mess and no matter how many dicks he sucks, songs he writes, nights he cries himself to sleep like he’s PMSing, he will never be a girl. He’s just forced to look at her tits and hate them for being something he will never have and when he tries to fuck her and gets mad that he isn’t the one getting fucked because she’s too wholesome to explore shoving things in his ass and he’s too concerned with his image to go gay he just flips her over and shoves it in her ass to teach her a lesson for having a vagina that he will never have.

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|cleavage|Tits

2008

01

May

Halle Berry’s Creepy Stalker Cleavage Pictures of the Day

I am going to the dentist today, but not just any dentist. The student dentist because it is free and a lot more risky than going to an actual dentist and I am all about risk. That’s why I always tried to get hookers to go bareback but they never feel for it, which is kinda weird considering I am the one who should have been concerned about where their pussies have been and not the other way around….

Speaking of bareback sex, here’s Halle Berry’s big pregnant lady tits taken from some creepy paparazzi photographer who likes climbing trees to get his shot because it reminds him of his previous career which wasn’t really a career but more of a hobby he spend as much time as a full time job on before the police intervened and that was stalking his ex girlfriend.

Either way, seeing virgins get excited over pregnant tits is weird to me, because of the whole process of being pregnant and having a ruined body, but I figured I’d post them anyway, since I am in a rush.

Posted in:Halle Berry|Tits

2008

01

May

Jennifer Tilly’s Big Dumpy Tits of the Day

Jennifer Tilly Big Tits Cleavage

Jennifer Tilly’s got big tits but the kind of big tits that aren’t spectacular enough for you to ignore that she doesn’t have it going on. I am all for girls who have shit to offer physically, going out of their way to make themselves feel attractive by showing off their fat tits, but that’s just because I like lookin’ at tits busting out of the dress and have the ability to focus on the good and not on the bad. I am not as good at it as my friend who always fucks the nastiest looking sluts and when I ask him why, his answer is always that she had tits “like this”. Maybe I am not man enough to put my penis through hell just to stare at a nasty bitches tits while I fuck her, and prefer just getting her to show them to me in the bar by giving her a little attention and asking politely. Lonely ugly girls always fall for it.

Posted in:Jennifer Tilly|Tits

2008

25

Apr

Denise Richards Bikini Pictures of the Day

Denise never had much to offer the world other than her sex scene with Neve Campbell in Wild Things. As much as I hated that movie, there’s just something about seeing two sluts get it on for Kevin Bacon that would make me think shit was overlooked for an Academy Award. It’s that kind of cinematic history that is only remembered by perverts and dudes who rent movies based on the level of nudity they have in them and it’s too bad that shit was the peak of her career because way back then, she was actually hot. Here she is trying to hold onto that sex appeal by running around in a Bikini in some staged photoshoot to draw publicity to her new show. If I was on the beach, which I am not and haven’t been on in years because I don’t live the celebrity life of luxury, I wouldn’t mind lookin’ at her in hopes of a vagina lip hangin’ out but the second a younger, tighter body walks by this hag, I’ll be getting my creep on elsewhere. It’s one of those better than nothing situations like the time you jerked off to your sister on a family camping trip because it was between her and your mom and jerking off to your mom just felt too wrong…

Posted in:Bikini|Denise Richards|Tits

2008

25

Apr

Neve Campbell’s Hot Tits of the Day

I never watched Party of 5 because I have a penis, I don’t really have one anymore, it’s more a useless fleshy mound that I pee out of but can’t use to fuck because my wife has destroyed my sex drive by being the most disgusting thing I have ever seen naked and smelled. I guess there’s some serious psychology behind fucking a woman who’s ass you have to wipe because she can’t reach….but that doesn’t really matter because I don’t fuck her…

Speaking of useless fleshy mounds, here are some pictures of Neve Campbell’s hot tits, It’s one of those situations where you try to figure out why it was that you used to jerk off and be so into this chick back in the 90s because when you see her inverted nippled saggy disaster 10 years later it just doesn’t make sense. Then you notice her lesbian haircut and realize that she’s not the kind of girl you should still be getting wood for, she’s the kind of girl you should getting wood with, like at the Home Deopot…because lesbians like construction….and since you won’t be staring at her tits the whole time, you’ll probably be pretty productive…I don’t know where I am goin’ with this….just look at her tits because they are exposed.

Posted in:Nasty|Neve Campbell|Tits

2008

23

Apr

Gisele Bundchen’s Tit in DT Magazine

I just wrote about how Alessandra Ambrosio being a pregnant Brazilian with big pregnant lady tits is nothing to get off to, but Brazilian tranny porn is. Part of me hates saying that this slut Gisele is a tranny because everyone says that shit all the time and it’s repetitive, but the truth is that no one I know finds her hot and like to reference Leonardo DiCaprio’s time with her as an experimental time in his life. I also like to say that she reminds Tom Brady of the those college football initiation days, when he would shove a broom stick up his ass while jerking off for his teammates before showering in their cum in the lockerroom before washing up together and goin’ out for a beer to fuck bitches together….Either way, this tranny has a tit and it’s distracting us from her busted up mug, so enjoy it, cuz it’s not gay if she looks like a girl, at least that’s what everyone I know who’s been sucked off by trannies have always said to me and I believe them….because they have no reason to lie to me, it’s like once you openly tell someone you’ve got off to a tranny you’ve pretty much divulged your deepest darkest secret and there’s little worse than that…I don’t know what I am talking about but I do hate you…and if that doesn’t make this post better…I don’t know what does.

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Photoshoot|Tits

2008

23

Apr

Alessandra Ambrosio’s Pregnant Tits of the Day

I love how all these fuckin’ virgins get all excited when a pregnant chick shows up with her cleavage exposed because her tits are miraculously bigger. It’s like seeing a teenage kid who just hit puberty on the beach amongst girls in bikinis. Their excitement makes no fuckin’ sense to me, maybe it’s because I know the condition her pussy will be in in 9 months, or maybe it’s cuz I don’t like lookin’ at fat chicks with big tits because I don’t like fat tits or maybe it’s because big tits usually mean sloppy asses. The truth is that getting off to a pregnant chick is some twisted shit and a losers sport. I have a hard enough time fucking a hooker knowing she slammed a guy an hour before me so thinking about a dude beating me to the prize and the proof is showing in her fat uterus that I am trying to cum inside really messes with my head.

The good news is that despite how twisted I am and how much I enjoy watching girls breast feed their babies in public, I can die knowing that I am not as sexually fucked up as I am accused of while all these other sick seemingly normal virgins fucks are jerking off to knocked up Brazilian bitches and I’m at home watching Brazilian tranny porn, because there’s nothing more normal than watching a hot chick with a dick getting sucked off by another hot chick.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Pregnant|Tits

2008

22

Apr

Jodie Marsh Does Cleavage of the Day

Jodie Marsh is another one of those sluts who doesn’t mind being a slut because she realizes that it pays more than being a prude who works at the local dinner and dies at 40 when she decides to hang herself because she’s 10,000 dollars in debt from an unnatural crotchet addiction and she feels so alone in this scary world. Her life could have been saved had she spent that 10,000 dollars of credit on a pair of fake tits, 15 years earlier, but instead she took the sad path. It’s one of those what if situations where you look at your life and wonder how different it would have been had you taken a different course, only in this case, that conscious decision isn’t really an unknown but her moral Christian upbringing just skewed her from making the right decision….

Either way, I was at the strip club, this slut was all trying to get me to get a dance with her and I pawned her off on my friend, who ended up rejecting her. I told her that if she was really serious about getting a dance, all she had to do was tell us “I want to grab your tits”, it’s this psychological thing where guys walk down the street everyday wanting to grab every tit they see, but girls never just offer it up, they play all hard to get and take work and when at a stripclub we don’t want to have to put ourselves out there, we want shit handed to us but for some reason strippers try to retain their dignity and in doing that end up rejecting my advice, call me and asshole and move onto some other sucker. I know that I can’t say no to a girl who asks me to grab her tits and I assume you feel the same way and that my advice was sound, but unfortunately for the slut she just didn’t value my opinion so fuck her. Here’s Jodie Marsh with her retarded cleavage.

Posted in:cleavage|Jodie Marsh|Tits

2008

21

Apr

Fergie Bikini Pictures of the Day

I met a girl where I meet all the girls I know and that’s at the stripclub this weekend. Strippers always act like they are celebrities, or unattainable, or more important than they are and try their best to avoid having to talk to me and when they do they try to make me feel like I’m lucky to be talking to them, but the truth is that it’s one of the only places where 10 dollars puts that ego aside and leads to me grabbing their tits within about a minute of approaching them. The are just high volume shitty prostitutes that try to convince themselves that they are celebrities and I like to single out the one with the most attitude to use.

Either way, this weekend, the stripper was some fitness bitch who was more acrobatic than the other lazy sluts. She was bouncing off the walls, flipping herself in all ways possible and knew how to work the crowd because she spread her ass apart on stage like it was a cheap porno shoot. She had a hard face from years of smoking, drinking and drugs and her body was fuckin’ tight and she was doing it all to a Fergie song and I thought that I just witnessed some kind of ironic moment, but don’t know what the word ironic means so can’t be too sure….

Here’s Fergie in a bikini from this past weekend with her tight body and hard face….unfortunately she’s not spreading her ass like my Fergie was, but I guess this is as close as she gets….since she’s famous and doesn’t need to do it to pay her rent which is really too bad because Fergie was a drug addicted child star who burnt through all her money and could have either gone deeper into the gutter, but somehow managed to get out that makes us the real losers in this whole recovery shit…

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Fergie|Tits