Here is Cristiano Ronaldo’s ex girlfriend slutting out on the beach with her fake tits. I assume he only likes fake tits on his trannies and when he found out she had a vagina it turned him off and made him run like he was playing soccer, because whatever she had going on in her underwear wasn’t anything he had seen in the locker room before and he knew whatever it was, he didn’t like it.
I am not just hating on him because every piece of pussy out there wants his shiney, shaved and tanned thighs gently squeezing their ears and I am jealous because girls always give more attention to a fag because fags are well put together and like doing the same things as they do, like talk about boys, get their hair done and shop and are so sexy because they are unattainable and girls always like what they can’t have, but I am hating on him because I am homophobic.
Either way, here are her tits in various states of movement.
Jess Origliasso is a member of The Veronicas and these are supposed to be her tits. I got the pics emailed to me a couple of days ago and the person who sent them in claimed they were fake, I didn’t know the difference because I have no idea who The Veronicas are, but when I saw shit hit the internet on a bigger scale, I decided to post them because whoever is in the pics has hot tits.
This is some amateur erotica that keeps me going and that makes me happy that some pervert invented the webcam and pawned it off as a business tool, or whatever the fuck he did to get them into every household in America, because everyone I talk to tells me about how girls send them nude pics or get up on cam and masturbate for them like some kind of homemade pornstar for their eyes only because I guess everyday girls are sluts when they like the guy on the other end of the conversation enough. The only thing depressing in all this is that despite starting the site to get girls to send me nudes, I haven’ managed to score any, but I still have hope….because maybe a fan of The Veronicas will follow by their idol’s lead and start snapping off pics that they accidentally send to me, at least that’s what I am hoping these pictures do….
I am convinced that the only reason people try to become famous, pick up a guitar, start writing songs or movies, or start acting classes is not because of the passion for the art, or even for the money because there’s really no guarantee things will work out to make you money, but 100 percent for the pussy. It’s like even if you’re some loser rocker who plays local bars, or some shitty actor in local car dealership commercials, or even if you’re a male model for your friend’s clothing shitty t-shirt company, there will be girls willing to bang you because you are seemingly more important that the other dude that’s trying to get their pussy.
That’s why seeing James Blunt with sluts sucking each other’s tits, riding his friends, or simulating doggy style like some kind of private spring break party, doesn’t really come as a surprise, it’s easy fuckin’ pickings for this weird lookin’ clown because he’s a star and even your wife would throw her vagina to get with him because he writes songs strictly to remove panties. So whether these pics are new or not doesn’t really matter, because I am just posting them to remind you where you’ve gone wrong in your life.
Nylon is some piece of shit, too cool for school magazine, that is supposed to be on the pulse of the art, music and fashion scene and pretty much fuels the hipsters, indy rockers and electro DJs i hate by telling them what’s cool and what they should be into for the moment in their quest of trying to be cool.
It’s these pretentious elitist club of rich kids and actors who have no idea what’s up but are trying to live this bullshit fashionista lifestyle because they are empty and I have a feeling that Mischa Barton is probably friends with one of the editors or some shit and agreed to do a photoshoot because she really isn’t doing much more with herself and because it gives her that stamp of approval cuz she thinks being in the Nylon club means that she’s cool.
I think the whole thing is a waste of fucking energy and people should be worried about more important things in life. Trying to stay on top of things so that you come across as cooler than fuckin’ God is totally the opposite of being cool, because as far as I am concerned being cool means not giving a fuck about pretty much anything and naked chicks.
That said, I guess that means that Mischa Barton is halfway cool, so that means she’s on her way to being cool, but doesn’t mean she made the cut. Keep on tryin’, you sloppy fucking whore.
I am a huge Davina Taylor fan and have been one for as long as I can remember, which is about 3 minutes. Not only is she a slut who starred on the UK Soap Hollyoaks, but she’s also the daughter of one of the richest men in the UK, she married David Beckham’s best soccer playing friend, and had a drug problem that let her to cocaine fueled sex orgies with Kate Moss and Sadie Frost and rehab and now topless tanning, something all rich girls should do once a week and send me pictures of because it reminds me of all the ways I went wrong in my life. Like watching porn until 8 am last night because I didn’t want to go to bed with my wife and had nothing better to do, unable to get hard because of the broken penis and being pretty desensitized to everything thus unable to jerk off taking away from the whole point of watching porn, and deciding to write this site instead of going to sleep making me really fucking tired right now.
I know I am a couple of days late on this shit, but I am sure it hardly matters because I am hoping this isn’t a show you really stay on top of, but I think that’s giving you too much credit and forgetting the fact that you are an obsessive weirdo who can’t let go of the past and who still think Denise Richards is the hottest piece to ever to walk the earth.
I guess she still relies on sex appeal shit to get her paid, like some kind of prostitute, beause her show seems to always revolve around her running around naked, talking about being naked or like the clip above tanning topless and chasing paparazzi but this shit is so fucking staged that I feel like I am watching an episode of the Hills and knowing that paparazzi is actually a paid actor and not actually a second rate illegal immigrant who climbs trees, it ruins the potential of this clip, but not as much as the censor blur the network put over her tits. It makes me feel like a 12 year old getting my stolen porn ripped out from under my mattress by my local minister trying to guilt me into not jerking off and into hating women so that I go back to his quarters and suck him off or some shit.
If they wanted any fucking viewers of this shit, they would have realized that anyone depressed enough to watch the Denise Richard’s show, would be perverted dudes hoping to see her naked again, because in their mind, they are married her in 1994 only she doesn’t know it yet, but will appreciate their committment when she finally does meet them and hears stories of how they haven’t been with any other women in the last 14 years because their hearts belong to her. I guess it’s time for a bit of a reality check, because even she knows she isn’t what she used to be and here’s some more video of her whining about being fat to prove it and to mock any acutal fat chick who would die for her body that they are really really fatter and more disgusting than they thought before seeing this cunt.
Kate Moss is topless on a yacht again. I am a fan, not really sure why, but that’s just how it is. It’s nice knowing that while she was out getting some sun in luxury, I was sitting on my ghetto couch that smells like piss, because we found it in an alley and every summer the smells of its past start to seep into my shitty apartment, waiting for something interesting to happen to me, and the only exciting thing that did happen was an irregular heartbeat that convinced me I was dying, despite everyone telling me that god doesn’t off people like me, he enjoys watching our suffering too much. I hope that”s true because I have been enjoying my permanent summer vacation, poverty stricken life lately becuase struggle makes me laugh especially when I have these famous cunts to constantly remind me of my inadequacies and poor life planning skills.
Here are the lesbian pictures that will end all lesbian fantasies because they are of Ellen Degeneres and Portia De Rossi. The funny thing about Ellen is that everyone freaked out when she came out of the closet, like it was so fucking shocking. For the first 2 years that her show was on TV, I thought bitch was actually a dude played by David Spade and assumed Ellen was the name of the town they were living in. When I found out that she was actually a chick and that she was a lesbian, I was pretty much unphased because the only thing gayer than fuckin’ Ellen is a pair of bicycle shorts. The truth is that Ellen is such a lesbian they have a pair of construction boots and flannel named after her.
I don’t really believe in lesbianism, because I know all girls need dick and the only girls who denounce it are ugly, masculine and dudes don’t want them or rape/molestation victims who are scared of dick because it hurt them when they were 10. Lesbian couples are just like 2 best girl friends who sometimes lick each other’s pussies and help each other masturbate because it’s the nice thing to do and not because they are in love, they are just misguided to believe that their intense caring for each other is something sexual and more than the intense caring they have for their other friends, so when I first heard about this relationship I thought Portia was just out for a publicity stunt since no one knew who she was but has really pulled through and committed to Ellen for the long haul, but after seeing these pictures of her tits, I am a firm believer that they are something onlyanother woman could appreciate, since women are constantly telling each other how beautiful each they are, even when the person on the receiving end is 300 pounds, proving that women are far more accepting and lenient on their measure of beauty than me. I guess I am just an asshole..
Her name is Oksana Andersson and she’s some import wife of some Soccer player I know nothing about because I don’t watch sports and if I did, soccer wouldn’t be one of them, because seeing a bunch of dudes running around in the grass, all light on their feet, trying to get the ball in the net, without touching each other is just a little too reminiscent of the Gay porn I starred in. I was stuck for cash and instead of a field, it was a back alley and instead of a group of dudes trying to get the ball in the net, it was a group of dudes trying to get the balls deep in the anus, so I guess it really isn’t anything like that experience, maybe it’s just that since that horrid night, groups of men just make me feel uncomfortable, or maybe it’s because the only soccer coach I ever knew in life used to rape the little boys, giving a whole new dimension to the sport.
Either way, Oksana Andersson is obviously a mail order bride dude picked out of a catalog and modified to his liking by throwing on some tit like she’s some Japanese car in desperate need of some sub-woofers, and she is probably very grateful he helped her get out of war torn Russia that she won’t stray and if she acts up a bit, he’ll just show her pictures of people lined up for their rationed bread to keep her in check.
Here are some pictures of Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom on a vacation tanning naked as they are supposed to. The highlight of the pictures have to be finally seeing Orlando Bloom’s ass. Dude was so dreamy in Pirates that I’ve just been waiting for this day for the last 5 years. It’s days like today that I want to take off my Crocodile Dundee Hat, put my pet Kangaroo back in his cage, drink a couple of Beers and sing Waltzing Matilda to celebrate Australia because I support all things white trash and Australia was pretty much built on that shit and deserves some fuckin’ love for their naked exports that are a lot more worthy of love than Vegemite or Steve Irwin.
