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Archive for the Topless Category

2008

18

Jun

Keanu Reeves Dates a Topless Chick Named China Chow of the Day

Keanu Reeves is the kind of dude you’d find in a Lady Bar in Thailand, making a 6 year old boy tickle his testicles, at least that’s how he markets himself by hanging out with and fucking British actresses who make a mockery of their heritage by giving themselves somekind of stripper stage name like China Chow. It reminds me of the time I met a stripper with a Russsian grandather called herself Katrina when her real name was Brenda and the truth is at least that was how because she had hot tits.

I don’t remember the last time I hit up a Chinese restaurant and thought to myself how badly I wanted to stuff the waitress like she was a fucking eggroll, or a dumpling, and that’s not because there aren’t hot Chinese chicks, it’s saying that there aren’t any where I go eat because I am poor….

Either way, with a girl that looks like this proves that Keanu Reeves is a failure and a fucking faggot and you are too because you are diggin’ this shit.

Posted in:China|Keanu Reeves|Topless

2008

10

Jun

Alicia Douvall is Topless in a Bikini of the Day

All I know about this chick is that she’s from the UK and has a face like a plate of Bangers and Mash that can only be justified as the product of some Dairy Farm incest, but she’s topless and showing off her shitty sun burned fake tits that make these pictures about as sexually arousing as the pair of underwear I’ve been wearing all week because I have few options, kinda like any guy that happens to have sex with this slag. It’s one of those take what you can get when in a time of desperation, because it’s really the only way I can understand the fact that she’s got a kid.

During the Black Out 2008 that I experienced today, I ran into a couple HUGE girls on the street, I am talking substantially fatter than me and for some reason they were kickin’ it with some skinny blonde girl who looked just as sloppy as they did but wasn’t fat and took up less airplane seats when her deadbeat boyfriend saved enough money from selling dime bags of weed to take her somewhere special.

Either way, the busted up skinny chick was wearing this tight shirt and her tits were busting out because they were her only asset, or the only think she thought were her asset, because they really weren’t all that nice to look at and dudes were staring at her in amazement, that she thought was a positive thing and that’s why I feel like she’d really get along with this Alicia Douvall girl, together they could tell each other that they are the prettiest girls in the world, while everyone else kinda looks at them in disgusted amazement.

Posted in:Alicia Douvall|Bikini|Topless

2008

10

Jun

Aisleyne Horgan Wallace in Some Topless Bikini Pictures of the Day

This Aisleyne Horgan Wallace chick is pretty much good for one thing and that’s taking off her shirt every chance she gets to show off her fake tits that she bought herself with her trust fund money because it makes for a better investment for a slut than something useless like college. She’s from the UK and envious of all those glamour models out there and is doing all she can to get coverage and you know, I got little else to do with my time than to post this shit for you since I’ve been following her amazingly life changing career of taking off her shirt and flashing her pussy and panties for a pretty long time and I guess this is just another one of her accomplishments, like the time I won employee of the year for this site, it’s something I will definitely put on my resume, even though I have to admit the judges were a little bias since they were me.

Either way, I don’t know who is who in these pics, I just see a couple sluts, and sometimes that’s good enough and names just become irrelevant.

Posted in:Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace|Topless

2008

10

Jun

Helena Christensen’s Topless Bikini of the Day

Comments Off on Helena Christensen’s Topless Bikini of the Day

Supermodel of the past, Helena Christensen is out in a bikini in Miami and she’s decided to let her tits out to tan like every good Euopean girl should. I guess it’s safe to say that she’s been keeping up her habits of not eating, snorting cocaine and whatever else she did when she was relelvant because here body is still tight, so tight that a gay dude from the band Interpol would get with her because he doesn’t want the bad press and because if he closes his eyes and visualizes, her pussy feels about as tight as a man’s asshole. At least that’s the story I heard.

Posted in:Bikini|Helena Chistensen|Topless|Uncategorized

2008

09

Jun

Abigail Clancy Gets Topless in a Bikini of the Day

Here’s some import I’ve never heard of topless. Other people are posting it, despite it’s shitty quality and the non-inspiring nature of a chick topless at the beach or tanning because chicks should always be topless and making a big deal out of it is so virginal that it makes girls think topless is a bigger deal than it is because assholes like you will always be there to gawk in awe while stroking your boner over a fucking nipple, making the whole fucking experience really uncomfortable for everyone, especially the girl involved who just wants to be topless in peace and by peace I mean, while I stare at her from afar with a pair of binoculars.

Either way, if I didn’t post it, I’d be an inadequate blogger and despite already knowing that, I figure I’ll try to trick you into thinkin’ otherwise.

Posted in:Abigail Clancy|Bikini|Topless

2008

30

May

Amy Alexander and Michelle Bass are Topless Together of the Day

I don’t know when these pics were taken, I am useless like that. I am also useless in a lot of areas of my life, so I am just keeping it real. These girls are from Big Brother in the UK and I guess living in a house together offered them a lasting friendship that brings them to topless beaches with photographers in hopes of holding onto as much of the little fame they had for as long as they can. I guess getting topless when you have massive tits is a decent strategy that I can accept as a cry for attention that is a lot less cheesy than the two girls I saw last night grabbin at each other’s tits for their boyfriends to get horny over, but that’s just because they told me to fuck off when I tried to get involved and encouraged them to go down on each other in the middle of the dancefloor, that actually pissed the group off and made them stop what they were doing because they knew their antics lured in the creeps and by creeps I mean me.

Posted in:Amy Alexander|Big Brother|Michelle Bass|Topless

2008

19

May

Angelina Jolie is Topless in France of the Day

The paparazzi got a picture of Angelina Jolie putting on her shirt on the balcony in some French Riviera villa. The pictures are shitty quality and another example of how the paparazzi are criminals but you all want to fuck Angelina, especially now that she’s pregnant because you are into pregnant chicks and I am not sure why because the whole concept of pregnancy scares the fuck out of me and I always fight with people who try to claim that it’s a beautiful natural thing, because to me there is nothing natural about life being created inside a woman’s pussy. It reminds me of a horrible sci-fi movie and everytime I get together with a girl who has kids I try to pretend that she didn’t have a life inside her, despite how hard her vagina makes it for me since it’s all battered and abused like the arm and leg of a war victim who stepped on a land mind but survived.

Knocking up Angelina would be like winning the lottery, not because she’s hot but because she’s rich, but the chances of winning the lottery are probably a lot higher.

Either way, I don’t think seeing a chick topless is all that exciting, I am more of a pussy man and come from the school where all girls should be topless all the time, so these pictures of her and her dark pregnant nipples bore the fuck out of me, but probably just changed your life, so enjoy.

Posted in:Angelina Jolie|Topless

2008

14

May

Claudia Schiffer Topless in Vogue of the Day

Claudia Schiffer is still modeling and that’s ok with me, because with a little air-brushing she almost looks like she did 15 years ago and I can relive those better years before I got married and before Schiffer was using her hot model tits to feed her babies that ruined her pussy. She she was just some hot foreign import model who couldn’t speak english, something I looked for in a woman because I feel speaking is a total distraction from what’s really important and that’s hardcore fucking. From my experience, talking always leads to conversations about how unhappy a bitch is with every aspect of my life and when I can’t understand those complaints it’s a lot easier to live with myself.

Either way, here she is topless in Vogue, not showin’ nipple, but you can use your imagination.


Related Posts:

Claudia Schiffer Hot in GQ
Claudia Schiffer Hot Mom Body

Posted in:Claudia Schiffer|Topless|Vogue

2008

14

May

Lily Allen Topless in France of the Day

Seeing Lily Allen running around in France topless reminds me of the time this chick I knew who had a double mastectomy applied for a job as a stripper at the strip club, only she was doing it out of some post breast cancer political statement and was hard on cash and figured she could sue them for not hiring her as some discrimination against her amputated tits, and not because there are perverts out there who get off to all kinds of things. I was supportive but I was pretty sure she’d land the job since she had a slammin’ fuckin’ body and thought people would pay to fondle her amputated tits just to get closer to that ass.

The reason Lily Allen reminds me of that girl, is because she doesn’t really have tits, despite being a fat troll of a slut, but I guess that happens all the time. At least this pictures bring hope that Lily Allen is plunging to her death in hopes of meeting up with her miscarriage baby in heaven because she’s been having a hard time living without it in her stomach. The guilt of smoking and drinking while pregnant is just too much for her to keep on living….


Related Posts:

Lily Allen and Her Birthday See Through
Lily Allen and Her Miscarriage Skirt
Lily Allen Making Miscarriage Faces
Lily Allen Hiding Her Killin’ Vagina
Lily Allen Not Shopping for Baby Clothes

Posted in:Lily Allen|Topless

2008

12

May

Megan Fox Topless Pictures of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

I got with a girl once who had the biggest tits. For the month it took me to finally get her topless, I would just stare at her tits thinking about how big and luscious they were. I remember her having the most spectacular cleavage and trying to look down her top every time she bent over.

One night when drunk, I managed to start making out with her. I slid my hand up her shirt and under her bra and started hunting her massive breast for what I was hoping would be perky little nipples because my fantasies had me believing that I was dealing with perfection and not the big tits that have big downward sloping nipples.

After my exploration, I couldn’t find any fuckin’ nipple, and I looked as hard as I fuckin’ could. I started panicking and decided the only solution was to get her shirt off, so I could see what I was dealing with and maybe my hand wasn’t communicating the right message back to my brain because I was drunk. So her shirt came off because I made her think I was going to suck her tits, her amazing tits were finally exposed and lookin’ back at me only they didn’t have any fuckin’ nipples.

Her shit stain was the same color as her tits and her nipple was inverted and shit looked a lot like what you see on a mannequin at the store. I was kinda thrown off and uncomfortable about the whole thing, but still fucked her, and discovered first hand that a nipple-less tit is an inferior tit no matter how nicely shaped it is.

These Megan Fox topless pictures remind me of that horrible night, but at least her pasties come off when she gets home to her 90210 loser boyfriend.

Posted in:Megan Fox|Pasties|Topless